JPF Home Page Forums General Messages Mentor Questions Forum Stage Fright

Hi Wendy,

These are all great suggestions and focus point. I've lead events for over two decades now (and for several hundred people a single event), and there are several things that I use to address the issue of stage fright. First of all, the main thing is to recognize the fears we have and then to dismiss them. Fears like-- what if I look silly or self-conscious, what if I forget my lines, what if I goof up, what if my voice cracks, what if people see me sweating and looking nervous, what if people are judging me, etc. Know what the fears are and then address them-- ask yourself: what difference does it make if that happens? So what if people think I look foolish? What difference will it make 10 years from now? Really, in the end does it really matter if my voice cracks? Who cares?

A national speaker friend of mine told me once that he first acknowledges that people will judge him, that people will criticize him, and then he says the big "so what?!" Really, that "so what" is a big deal for me. I used to badger myself for all kinds of things-- not keeping a perfect practice schedule, for example-- and one year I decided that no matter what, I was always going to sing from the heart, to connect on that level to people who come to our events. And that decision changed my life.

I also remember another interesting experience I once had-- I had the realization one day that our dearest fans actually WANT us to succeed. So I always find a few of those faces to connect to when I'm up there-- even if I can't see where they are in the audience, I remind myself that they are in the room with us, enjoying every moment of what we're doing. I also sometimes will remind myself that there are likely to be a good number of "important" individuals who I have yet to connect to in the room that night with us, and that is so inspiring to me-- I WANT them to see what we do! I find that focusing on and moving toward inspiration always helps me reduce any negative emotions (fears, etc.).

Another thing I found very interesting-- when I had something that was MORE nerve-wracking for me just prior to the music event, the music event had ZERO anxiety. ZERO! No kidding! That was really amazing to experience, and a real eye-opener. I had to do one of my first live TV interviews the morning of one of our big live events, and this TV interview was really anxiety-provoking. By the time that was over, I was so relieved that the live event was a total breeze! While I'm not sure I'd recommend this approach-- it was really exhausting!-- it might be interesting to try sometime.

One last thing that I have discovered that I now do for my biggest events-- I schedule a massage for myself the next day, so that I have something to look forward to. Then when I'm on stage that night before, if I'm feeling any nerves, I remember the massage that is waiting for me the next day, and I relax and enjoy the live event so much more. This is something I've really come to enjoy and find it helpful to me. It's like saying... no matter what, all is well.

Whew! That was long-winded of me... the short of it all-- just LOVE and ADORE what you're doing and it will shine through!

Raags