Hi Everyone. It's been quite a while since I posted a lyric here, but I hope you will help me out with comments or critique. All is appreciated.

Five-Foot Four Hero

Verse 1:
Lying on her final bed she’s waiting
For her halo and her wings.
Leaving tears and breaking hearts
And the pain that losing one can bring.

Frail and timid in her sheets
Her body strains against the final test
The world won’t know the story
As this lady finally faces rest.

Chorus:
She’s a five foot four hero
To her children standing there.
They’ve watched her carry burdens
Tougher than the strongest man could bear.

Strength was what she didn’t lack
She always had her childrens’ backs
Just daring someone to cross the line.
She was a shelter against life’s storms
With open arms she kept them warm;
A giant of a hero in her time.

Verse 2:
But even heroes can grow weary
And lose strength to carry on the fight
When the beacon that they’ve been for others
Shows a dimming of the light.

So they take their place and each in turn
Kiss her cheek and whisper their goodbye.
And as Christ’s love surrounds her
God lights a hero’s star up in the sky.

Repeat Chorus:

Copyright 2008
Susie Whiting

Susie,

A couple of suggestions.

what about "finds her rest" instead of "faces rest"

the chorus has "Tougher than" but since you are talking burdens in the precious line I wouldn't think of burdens as "tougher" so what about "More than"

the second two lines of the first verse doesn't seem to fit in to the rest of the tone of the lyric - maybe because you immediately refer to tears and heartache and the rest of the song is a tribute to her strength.


Kennan