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Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Top 30 Poster
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OP
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712 |
http://jimcolyer.com/sitebuilder/flash/player?f=/music/flash/playlist.xml%3Ft%3D15
I'm Up & I'm Running!
I'm finally getting over you
I'm getting over the hurt
And the heartache you put me through
I'm Up & I'm Running!
It's getting better everyday
I'm getting over the pain
I'm on my way
I was so jealous I couldn't see straight
You might say I was filled with hate
The green-eyed lady
Filled with animosity
I couldn't believe she could take my place
That you could tell me you need your space
It took a long time
I'm finally getting over you
I'm Up & I'm Running!
I'm finally getting over you
I'm getting over the hurt
And the heartache you put me through
I'm Up & I'm Running!
It's getting better everyday
I'm getting over the pain
I'm on my way
solo
She was a looker, I had a complex
I thought she was better than me
But I looked in the mirror this morning
And she can't hold a handle to me
You turned your back on a love so true
You're headed for a fall
Like Humpty Dumpty
You're coming down off your wall
I'm Up & I'm Running!
I'm finally getting over you
I'm getting over the pain
And the heartache you put me through
I'm Up & I'm Running!
It's getting better everyday
I'm getting over the pain
I'm on my way
I'm getting over the pain
I'm on my way
Yeah, I'm over the pain
I'm on my way
Oh, yeah!
Jim Colyer ascap
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 433
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 433 |
Very Nice Jim! Great swinging country tune. Enjoyed through and through.
Steve
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Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 763
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 763 |
It's really good to run! Keep it up!
Learn all the musical rules inside and out- Then break 'em...
Grace..Peace...Love
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067 |
Hey Jim,
Good vocals and music.
Lyrically, you have two different rhyme schemes for your verses. They should be the same.
In your second verse you "rhyme" [color:#FF0000]me with me:[/color]
She was a looker, I had a complex
I thought she was better than me
But I looked in the mirror this morning
And she can't hold a handle to me
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427 |
Hi Jim, I love the attitude in this they tell me that's what young singers are looking for. I think you have a nice song.  Dottie
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Top 50 Poster
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Top 50 Poster
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Posts: 4,909 |
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,858 Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,858 Likes: 1 |
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,776 Likes: 24
Top 50 Poster
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Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,776 Likes: 24 |
Hi Jim,
As a blues or bluesy country, I guess it's okay for the cliche factor to be relatively high. The verses fare a little better, and the music is good.
A hook like "up and running" could steer the chorus into racing metaphors, either human or car, and then might feel a little fresher.
Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 05/10/12 09:03 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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