JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 The Jungle Room

I have not been writing as much lately and I miss it, I need to get back in the groove....and back on JPF more. I feel I have let some friends down as I have not critiqued as much, life has gotten in the way...as it can do...

Here is a fun yet philosophical one that I wrote recently and entered in the monthly lyrical contest on another site. I hope most would understand what is meant by the jungle room...(metaphor for living on the wild side but also about Elvis' * the King, had a JUNGLE room in his Graceland

suggestions and advice is welcome
thanks!


The Jungle Room

I don't know what day it was
when I first felt old
The mirror mocks me daily
where did my youth go?
I've done my duty, raised the kids
checked the have-to's off my list
time restraints came with regrets
but I'm not dead yet


Chorus
I wanna dance
in the King's Blue Suede Shoes
make love all night
in the Jungle Room
I wanna dance
in the King's Blue Suede Shoes
make love all night
in the Jungle Room

I can't wait to see what comes next
when I take the reigns
my bucket list will be all checked off
when they call my name

Chorus
I wanna dance
in the King's Blue Suede Shoes
make love all night
in the Jungle Room
I wanna dance
in the King's Blue Suede Shoes
make love all night
in the Jungle Room


Bridge
There's no do-over days
on any calender page
time will have the final say
so I can't hesitate

Chorus 2
I'm gonna dance
(dance, dance, dance)
in the King's Blue Suede Shoes
I'm gonna make love all night
in the Jungle Room

make love all night
in the Jungle Room

make love all night
in the Jungle Room

© Kimberly Hales Kime
All Rights Reserved

KIM--

MY WIFE AND I WENT TO GRACELAND LAST FALL--A COOL PLACE, BUT THE JUNGLE ROOM WAS NOT FOR ME--GAWDY, A LITTLE ON THE DARK SIDE--MAYBE OUTSIDE THE JUNGLE ROOM, DANCING IN BLUE SUEDE SHOES ! JMHO

OPTION FOR BR:
Bridge
GOT TO BREAK AWAY
TO SOLID GOLD DAYS
LET THE WORLD STOP
I STILL WANNA ROCK.

WRITE ON--

Mackie

Hi Kimberly,

Hope you're doing well.
The GREAT title grabbed me.

but in the chorus, I prefer this...

Chorus
I wanna dance
in the King's Blue Suede Shoes
make love all night in the Jungle Room



Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Ha!! I'm too late. On a couple read throughs earlier . That's what stuck out at me --Calvin's nit--at least the Blue Suede shoes part. I thought maybe they'd make WILD love in the jungle room
Hi Calvin, Hi Kim

LOL,i'm likin' this one Kim!Now i know what to do with my spare bedroom!Thanx!

I have always wanted to go, when I was a kid we stood outside the gate, but it was not open to public, he was still alive. Jungle room is gawdy, but I thought it would be kinda cool to hang out in for a little while...;-)
Thanks for the suggestion on the bridge:)
Kim

Thanks for liking those lines, so I guess you feel the first line is not grabbing attention? I will consider that, thanks!!!
Kim

Thanks Calvin, I added the kings because I was afraid people would not know who it was, but I may take that out...when I sang it to melody, the all night seemed to work but then again you can not hear that..;-) I hope to get it to music one day...thanks for checking it out

Kim

Thanks -- I thought about wild love or adding something jungle related. I want it to be more about thinking about life and how it has gone fast and its time to do what I feel like doing..and dont want to sway over to a parody, so its a fine line. thanks

I appreciate it

hahaha...sure, go for it!!!! Never too late for alittle jungle fever..

Thanks for checking this out

Kim

Hey Kimberly, we all know that life pulls us away form our true love, writing and commenting among our peers, I for one will always have a link to Kimberly absent or present. I love the reflections in this song, they match my moods often. Nicely done. ~~MFB III

Thank you so much. You are always so sweet and uplifting

Kim

HEY Kimberly!

From one MIA JPF'er to another, great lyric!!! I can definitely relate to the sentiment you've expressed so sincerely...and I loved how you brought it all home with Elvis.

I've said this often in the past about you Kim...but it bears repeating. You have grown as a writer by Leaps And Bounds since you first joined. Both technically and stylistically, you keep surprising me, and I love that.

So KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK GIRL!! Hope to see you (and be seen) more often around here.

xoxo,
Beth

Kimberly,

I know what you mean about life getting in the way. I too have been off the boards for awhile. Thankfully, the JPF family cheerfully welcomes us back.

I like the idea for this song but agree the first line needs to stand out more. I also think cal's idea for shortening line 2 of the chorus is good. Keep working on this. I see some potential with it.

This made my day to hear this, thank you Beth!!

Thanks Jen, I will consider that, as Cal said, I was only concerned someone may not get the jungle room and it being with Elvis but maybe the shoes give it away, thanks for checking this out

Kim

Hi Kim,

Everytime I read this I want to drop off of this line;

my bucket list will be all checked off

Just thought I'd drop back in and mention that.

Dottie

Thanks Dottie, as I re-write this, I will consider that for sure. I will talk to my collaborator about it.

Kim