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Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,943 Likes: 3
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Well, it was my first song for this year's FAWM and RPM. Any and all types of comments are always welcome -- on any part of the song and/or production. Kevin ***************************************************** This is my first song(c) Emmrich 2012This is my first song This is my first song I have one line down and I don't know what to write next This is your first love This is your first love You've smiled and looked down and now you don't know what happens next If you think you are going to figure it all out one day I am here to tell you that feeling is elusive and far -- a -- way (instrumental section) All you can do is keep playing all you can do is keep playing all you can do is keep playing that's all I am saying deep in my soul deep in my soul deep in my soul sometimes that’s what makes you whole This is my first song This is my first song I don’t think it’s gonna be that long Kevin: Vocals, Acoustic guitar, electric guitars, trumpet (PC88) Sam: Bass BIAB: drums Sonar: V-Vocal (ha, ha)
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Joined: Jul 2005
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LOL - that's an ingenious thread topic, Kevin. Those that don't know you will click because they are curious to hear someone's first song. Those that know you will click because they will wonder what the hell you are up to.  And, surprise, it's actually the title of the song! I got the feeling Verse 1 was you wondering what your first song was going to be about - and then deciding to use that to start the song. In any case, it's got a cool stream of consciousness in it that hangs together in a weird kind of way. After reading the lyric, I was expecting something a little more uptempo. After listening, I still think it could go that way a little. Love the trumpet - did NOT expect that. Which makes it perfect for this song, of course. Scott
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,910
Serious Contributor
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got me laughing and smiling my friend ... Oh boy do I know that feeling ... perfect ...
thank you my friend
perfect
Dan
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Joined: May 2001
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Let's see Kevin. According to the one thread on the general forum about critiques I'm not supposed to pat you on the back. I've got to...ah say I've got to find something wrong to make your song stronger. OK, I've got it...You spelled...nah, that's not it. You spelled everything right. Oh oh, I have it now...No that's not it...
Oh well. I guess I'm not very good at this game, lol. Seriously, you've captured the escense (did I spell that correctly?) of what it's like to write that first song, poem or anything related. I like the tongue in cheek humor. It's kind of a song inside a song. You always make BIAB sound so natural. You're a master at that and the virtual harmony worked out well...no mechanical sound to it.
I'm sorry. I'm just not very good at this critiquing thing. I really had fun listening to this. Dare I say it? (say it...say it) Nice job. I wouldn't change a thing. Give your bad self a pat on the back.
Stevie
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,455 Likes: 41
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Hey there Kevin....Good filler lyrics to a great melody and some killer instruments...........Those are filler lyrics?..aren't they??!
;-) -Tom
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Hi Kevin, First thing I thought was wow I love this music. I don't know anything about mixing but you have a lot going on and it sure does sound good. I think this part can use a little smoothing out, maybe delete a few words. If you think you are going to figure it all out one day I am here to tell you that feeling is elusive and far -- a -- way That's all I have. I love the way it ends! Dottie
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Joined: Jun 2010
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What a production Kevin.
It has a real classic vibe to it.
You are a musical wizard.
Is that you singing?
I love the simplicity and playfulness of the lyrics.
Cool vocal delivery.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
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You keep getting better and better.
Vic
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Joined: Sep 2009
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KEVIN--
THIS ONE IS CLEVER--I DOWNLOADED IT AS A REFERENCE TO GREAT PRODUCTION--HOPE YOU DON'T MIND!
MAYBE ONE DAY I'LL GET ONE WE COULD RE-WORK TOGETHER WHEN YOU HAVE TIME!
THIS MAY BE YOUR BEST PRODUCTION, I'M THINKING!
WRITE AND PLAY ON!
Mackie
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Joined: Aug 2010
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Love the idea of this, the next song can be your last song...LOL lots of nice thoughts in this one. ~~~MFB III
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Scott: I didn't think my little ruse was going to work -- no one was commenting (ha, ha). But I finally drew them in. I actually go the idea and first few lines in late January so I had to set it aside until FAWM -- but it did work out as the first FAWM song. I really need to work on my keyboard stuff. My wife's Kurzweil PC88MX has a lot of good sounds. Thanks for the visit.
Dan: Thanks for stopping by and giving it a spin. Always a pleasure when you stop by!
Little_stevie_b: Do what I do when I can't find anything -- make something up! Actual there are only two vocal lines and I sang them both. V-Vocal is pitch correction software. I didn't use it much on the main vocal, but I used it a lot on the harmony line. I copied the harmony and panned the two doubled tracks 100% left and right. I offset one by 20ms and maybe used different plugins to make them sound a little different. Thanks for listening!
Tom: Filler lyrics??? No, they are pulitzer prize level lyrics (ha, ha). There about as good as I ever do, so what can I say. Thanks for the visit, listen and comments!
Dottie: Yea, I sang it, but I cut those extra words out in the lyrics. I knew I had a couple too many words in there after I recorded it. I can always re-sing that small part. Thanks for coming on by.
I'll get to the rest of you kind visitors tomorrow.
Kevin
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Kevin,
I like this one. Nice production and simple idea. I was thinking if you'd like me to sing it, I could give it a try. If you want a female vocal version. I don't really have a crit. I thought it held together very nicely.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
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Kevin,
Pleasant sounding song, but I think the lyrics could be developed a bit more.
Jim Colyer
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Nelson: Thanks for stopping by and giving it a spin. Yea, that's me warbling (with a teensy bit of help from V-Vocal!).
Vicarn: Thanks for the listen and comments -- always appreciated.
Mackie: No, I don't mind you calling it a great production at all (ha, ha). I wouldn't put it in that category, but I appreciate the kind words. It would be nice to work on a song together.
MFB III: Thanks for the listening!
Wendy: Do you want me to make the song available as music only? I can put a 256kbs MP3 file out there on the internet and I'll leave the opening click in there. I'll do that tonight and get that link to you.
Jim: This is one of the tunes where the lyrics only need to play their little role. Having said that, if you are going to write lyrics, they should be the best you can do. Thanks for stopping by and listening.
Kevin
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