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These were my thoughts at 3am today.....its just so sad

Precious King Child (C)2009 by Michelle Chapman

Oh,sad little boy,
with the body of a man
prepare for your flight
off to never never land
you'll never grow old,
you knew you never would
you have flown away,
and you're gone for good

a tormented soul
you were never content
more money than most
only little well spent
each day you grew richer
but inside you were poor
because life gave you everything
death wanted you more

oh little king
rest in peace
the vultures,they hovered
hoping to feast
a small fragile soul
so meek but so wild
fly away to your rest
precious king child

a part of us died
when we heard you had flown
would the lies have all stopped
if only they'd known
we waited for your return
to see you dance once more
but in the inside of your body
was a spirtual war

so youre off to a place
where children laugh and play
teaching captain hook to moonwalk
I want to think it's this way
your music will go on
and so will all of our love
the precious little child king
who wore one white glove

oh little king
rest in peace
the vultures,they hovered
hoping to feast
a small fragile soul
so meek but so wild
fly away to your rest
precious king child

Ok lady, i'm getting ready to go to work and you have me crying like a big ole' baby...this is him...from beginning to end..yes,he is in his own Neverland now......this is good and what a tribute to Michael.....you did very good here...glyn

Yes, this is a lovely tribute, Michelle. An abundance of fine imagery, and clearly written with passion and pain.

One suggestion, though, keep-or-sweep, of course.

The vulture image in the chorus takes away - for me at least - from its gentle beauty. Perhaps you could weave mention of vultures/feast in one of the verses, so that the chorus could remain simply:

oh little king
rest in peace
a small fragile soul
so meek but so wild
fly away to your rest
precious king child

This leaves the reader/listener with an image of peace, in keeping with what you as the writer are hoping for Michael.

You might also want to replace the word 'small' with something else, as 'small' sounds odd in connection with 'soul'.

Donna

Thanks Glynda,
I was awake at 3am and was reading some of the latest news about his death and i just started crying(I've been doing that alot lately).I really dont mean for it to be a song or anything.My emotions just started pouring out into my pencil.Thanks for reading this though.
Michelle

Hi Donna'
Thanks so much for reading this and for your comments.I do see what you mean about the vultures part. When I was writing this I was going through so many different emotions about it,so I guess thats why it seems to go from light to dark and back again.If I would decide to work on it as a type of tribute song I would definitely consider some of the changes that you have mentioned,because as usual ,you are right.Thanks Donna.
Michelle