JPF Home Page Forums General Messages Brian Austin Whitney Blog Wednesday, May 9th, 2007

Hi Folks,

I was just thinking how annoying our society has gotten. Instead of striving to "understand" each other, we seem to look hard for any excuse to misunderstand. And it's costing us all our freedom, even though I doubt many realize it.

This goes beyond Political Correctness, but that certainly is a huge part of the problem. People look for the loopholes in what anyone says and does to push their agenda. If your political enemy tries to make a point, but doesn't say it with great caution and defensive protection from all possible negative interpretations, they are bludgeoned and relentlessly attacked for it. And if someone says something that is actually offensive or politically incorrect, and they aren't in a minority or underdog status, they are finished in society. People jump on the pile to inflict the greatest possible damage And the sad thing is that while they do it, these people KNOW it's bogus and unfair, but they dont' care. All sides are guilty of this.

I got 2 nasty emails from members (actually more than that, but these two make my point). One was pissed off that I had typo'd "Southwest" instead of "Southeast" in the last newsletter when referring to the roadtrip. This person said they were "offended" because they lived in the Southwest and the states listed were clearly not in the southwest. I am not making this up. Another member complained because I copied and pasted their name without a single letter in it. The letter wasn't even a letter, it was an ampersand. It's one thing to point out a typo (which is pointless for the most part because EVERYONE makes typos and most of those who complain will make a typo in their actual complaint.. but I digress) but another to get angry over it, especially when you have an odd spelling of your name that no one would think was correct with an ampersand at the start. Argh!

Politicians, journalists, civil rights leaders, religious groups, ethnic groups, age segments and so on all use parsing of words as a weapon. It's maddening. But most of us, at some point, will take that easy road to try and discredit those we disagree with. Why do we do it?

So, when was the last time you were a victim or perpetrator of this activity?

Brian

PS: This post was not checked for errors! Don't even go there!

Hi Brian,

Ooooeeee...this is a real hot button of mine...so I probably shouldn't even get started!! However, I think the whole issue is one of control. Some folks who don't have much reason to be proud of themselves watch for any excuse to try to bring someone else down, especially if that person is normally held in high esteem. I guess they figure that if they are powerful enough to bring (or help bring) some big shot down..then THEY must be even bigger!! It is pathological in this country IMO.

Last fall, I was thrilled when the city I work for asked me to coordinate our upcoming bicentennial events (no extra pay, mind you...just a LOT of extra work). City Council appointed a group of folks to become the Bicentennial Committee...to work with me to generate ideas for Signature Events and Legacy Projects that the Council would vote on to determine how we will celebrate. Because I love history and am the "finder of the funding" for such stuff, I was excited about the potential. However, I was TOTALLY taken aback when three little old ladies (I call them the Little Biddy Committee) took it upon themselves to try to derail the whole planning process. One element I thought would be a given was honoring our Native American heritage. A dear friend of mine (and former Miss Tennessee) was/is the NA representative to the committee. The LBC gals began attacking the whole concept of recognizing the Native Americans, stating flatly that "Native Americans were not here", making mocking and demeaning hand gestures, and demanding "proof of their ancestry" before any Native Americans could claim to have been residents of our county. One gal said in a taped meeting..."we can't let THEM develop their own curriculum materials...Lord knows WHAT they'd come up with!!"

These "ladies" went further to threaten the jobs of various folks including myself if we supported recognizing Native Americans in any manner.

They threatened to expose as an utter fraud a gentleman I had met with to gather information from (turned out he was appointed by the Governor to head up the state's Council on Indian Affairs and is an ordained minister, a college professor, etc).

Needless to say, I was stunned to discover that such vitriolic and misguided bigotry still existed. These women are all 65-85 and have a lot of money. As one told me in no uncertain terms..."we own this town".

They almost got away with it...but fortunately, after private discussions with several Council members, they voted to disband the committee and let me work with whomever I need to on the various specific projects. But the whole scenario made me realize that evil still lurks even in unexpected places. It got real ugly...got in the local newspaper and almost on 60 Minutes!!

What should have been a time of real joy and celebration is certainly dimmed. As one guy said to me at a Council meeting..."that woman could spoil a one car funeral procession!" No one has yet been able to explain to me the basis for WHY they feel so strongly about this. I just think it is pathetic that ANYONE would feel the need to hold any other individual or group of individuals down based on their race, color, ethnic origin, gender, sex, whatever.

Life is too short. We need to be helping each other not deliberately trying to stand in someone else's way!!! After all..."we're all in this together!"

Ok...I will vacate the soapbox now.

Hugs,
Bobbie

Bobbie,

That process plays out millions of times every day. Small time office politics. School board politics. University politics. Religious committee politics. You name it.. it's there. Over and over and over. It never changes. The less real integrity/power someone has, often the more desperate they hang on to what little leverage they can get over other little guys and gals. It's sad and it's one of the things I had to get away from in the corporate world. I was fortunate that I didn't often get directly attacked because am pretty headstrong and can be intimidating to those types. So instead they'd attack my friends and other folks around me.. being even MORE passive aggressive than normal. They spend their entire lives raging again the machine, getting nowhere in the end and poisoning their lives and those they touch. It's very sad.

Brian

Brian,
I feel that my intention to stop a poster from invalidating others has possibly kicked off the idea for this thread. If so, I wish to make a deep apology for creating the product of your ponderance of why we discredit those with whom we disagree.

I am usually the "Pollyanna" of any group. However, I did feel a need to stop a certain type of communication which was in the habit of creating negative products. Did I do this in the best possible way? No. But, the worst thing one can do is nothing.

Common sense and religious belief has taught us that love and truth are the solvents of all ill will. In a perfect world, this would be so. There would be no war or hatred or insanity of any kind.

All we can do is take responsibility for our own zone of influence and try to keep that zone free from harm. We can uplift and inspire. We can try to implement good control. However, in trying to throw pearls to swine, this can be a difficult task. That's where you get communication in anger. It comes from lack of understanding. You hit the nail on the head with your statement that some people misunderstand and some are misunderstood. I feel that some see responsibility and some see blame. How one views is life is subjective. If we are ever to live in a world where we are all truly free, we have to educate people. Understanding comes from the ability to learn something. Only with understanding will we treat each other with dignity and respect. Fear and insecurity vanish with ability to understand. In this way, the truth actually does set you free.

Again, if my actions have turned your mind toward this theme, I am truly sorry. I plan on being around here for a while and don't want to be a messy house guest. By the way, I do windows.

Heidi

Actually it didn't Heidi It was those emails I got. And I've gotten that type of stuff since the start. Now and then, often months or even years later, I will get an apology from one of them and often it includes a story that they were very down in their lives at the time and angry at the world, or had a drug or drinking problem or some other tragic circumstance. I definitely have put my Sociology and Communications major to work here.

Brian

Oh, good, Brian. I guess I don't have to do the windows after all. You know, it goes back to education once again. If people were educated on the use of drugs or alcohol...if they were literate enough to read and understand words so that they could then understand concepts...if they even could understand the basic Golden Rule...we would have a better world in which to live. You are very lucky to have the tools of Sociology and Communications from which to draw. You have an educated frame of reference. If I had one wish, it would be that all could utilize the means of reason toward sane actions and decisions. It would certainly yield a much more aesthetic environment.

Brian, you may or may not realize this, but you have created a wonderul sub-universe with this site. JPF contains within it a basic common denominator of artistic spirit. In this JPF world, I have found a freedom in just knowing that artistic understanding is alive and well. Rather than dwell on those few who cannot even attempt to see truth, I feel you might want to step back from your sub-universe and take another look. You are housing thousands who can.

That's a huge creation. THANK YOU! And, if it's any consolation, I had a wonderous realization from a communication with you which led me to writing what I feel is the next step in my evolution as a songwriter. I will share it with you when it is complete. (This is where the computerized hug takes place.)

Heidi

I've been a victim of it here on the boards a few times. I'm sure I've perpetrated it once or twice as well, I really don't like doing it so I refrain from it. Even the act of defending yourself once you've been hit with it is just a slippery slope.

As far as the Political Correctness and losing freedoms. I can't stand it. I'm tired of it. I even wrote a song about it that will be on the next CD - it's called "Stand Up". We are in the age of intolerance. We are more intolerant than ever before as a whole. Personally I'm pretty easy going, but I see it all around me.

The funny thing is, I have some clients that come into my studio. They're rap artists. I have a great rapport with them. They don't care if I refer to black people as black and not african american. I don't use the word [naughty word removed], it's really just a poor term. One of them had to come back in after a song was mixed and ready for radio because the radio station warned them they couldn't use the following: [naughty word removed], any swear words, or anything derogatory to women.

Well, I spent about an hour editing the vocals and double checking with them about certain words and roughly 1/4th of the song (vocally) was taken out. Pretty funny if you ask me. In the middle of the session I turned and I asked them why it is they choose to use [naughty word removed] instead of brother. I remember when I little growing up in New York all my friends, black, white or hispanic, were all brother or brothers. Mostly my black friends would use the word brother but it was a bonding term without negative connotation.

The client said you know, that's right on. Next time, that's what I'll use when I write. I figured it makes sense cause it's a term for who you hang or associate with, it has the same syllables, why not? So maybe I helped make a small change there, who knows.

Jody

Now, that's funny, even your message board edits the word out...

ha ha ha.

A message board with intolerance.

Jody

There are some quite different things at play here.

You have people pushing agendas and using any weaknesses (real or perceived) in their opponent's wording or argument to misrepresent them unfairly. It's most noticeable in politics. Not nice behaviour, but not new! Most sensible people recognise it and discount it.

You have small minded people who feel they have to call you on typos and the like as if this was a matter of importance...thet's something totally different. They have always been with us, but again most of us just roll our eyes heavenwards and ignore!

And you have PC gone out of hand...well, in fact by definition there's nothing wrong with political correctness. It's only when it gets taken too far or is abused (and that happens too often!)that it's a problem. Fortunately, most of can easily distinguish between 'good PC' and 'bad PC', and treat each accordingly.


In today's more frenetic world where everyone is clamouring for their own relevance, these phenomena become exaggerated,and I don't know that we can change it. We may just have to be more patient.

In terms of typos....didn't there used to be some kind of million dollar prize for anyone who could find a (full lenth) published work without a typo? Don't stress it, Brian. In this age of abbreviations, text messaging and slang, proper spelling and grammar are definitely not in the norm and you definitely do better than the norm. The self appointed spelling police need to be taught some manners and get a life.

Even those of us who are picky about that kind of thing can make a typo or two on occasion and I fully admit to improper grammer posting on the boards. I purposely try to sound conversational rather than proper.

People pay me to write press releases for them all the time because they can't put two sentences together and spell them correctly.

Brian,
I want to give you a big here, here (if that is in fact the correct way to spell it, and in context of the use of the phrase!) for this blog, but I'm still a bit red faced at a small tyrade I went on in the fast blast section of the site!(so I'd have to say I was a perpetrator of this activity recently... I won't apologize for the comments... I applied every forum rule I have. However it did lead me to come up with another rule ( to keep from making an arse of myself)... It goes like this; There is a huge differance between being one who is stupid, and one who is ignorant (no offence meant)! So now I will ignore stupidity (one who is stupid is not capable of learning, one who is ignorant does not know any better), ignorance is a subject best treaded lightly on...

I don't mind too much when someone goes on a tyrade... er well sort of. It does chap my arse when someone continually argues their side, regardless of the out come, or subject. That leads me to another rule (an old one). Generally, when I run across an agrumenative post, I will tend to check out posts that person has made in the history of posting. If I find they always like to argue, then is't just not worth my time to even acknolige (Sp?) them (I do this frequently). This of cource generally makes the poster even madder... no skin of my back (the differance between stupidity, ignorance, and intelagance!).

I will admit I have been a bit testy latly... Corperate America is driving me mad. I reside in a differant portion of coperate America than most... the type if I told you about it, I'd have to kill ya!.. ;<( I do have an out (just about to impliment) so I should be OK soon.

[naughty word removed]

Hey, it works!

I admit to being something of a pest about spelling and grammar, but that's just my OCD rather than any small-mindedness. I can be just as fumble-fingered on a keyboard as anybody, so I can certainly make typos.

Anybody can make an inappropriate statement under the right circumstances, so those with a political ax to grind shouldn't be so quick to throw stones.

I just wish more people had the critical thinking skills to see through all the BS that goes on; maybe it would all stop then.

Oy!

Funny that I started a lyric recently on this very subject. Go easy on me here....it's my first pass at it. ;-)

One At A Time
Timothy A. Perry © April 27, 2007

Verse 1:
Every day we face off, locked in great debate.
And every day it’s clear to all, how much we love to hate.
Anger overflowing, seems we’re spoilin’ for a fight
‘Cuz each and every one of us is certain we are right.

Build:
Compromise is evil, say the All-Or-Nothing Kings
(Say) ya gotta stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything.
Peace will never find us through some nation’s grand design (but)
One mind, one heart, and one life at a time.

Verse 2:
Some are seen as godless, and the reason for our blight.
The other thinks the right is wrong, and knows the left is right.
War is all around us, whether here or far away.
The battles fought between us, seem truly here to stay

Build:
Lost in all the quarrels and the bickering we do,
(We) Forget about just who gets hurt, but to our cause be true
Peace will overtake us when our souls grow intertwined.
One mind, one heart, and one life at a time.

Instrumental: Verse chords

Repeat Build:
Lost in all the quarrels and the bickering we do,
(We) Forget about just who gets hurt, but to our cause be true
Peace will overtake us when our souls grow intertwined.
One mind, one heart, and one life at a time.

Hello again,
Patrick brought up the "throwing stones" idea and I just want to add to that. I feel that the reason behind the statement, "those who are without sin may cast the first stone" is simply the fact that those who wish to throw stones have their own sins which make them critical of others. When you understand this basic principle, you don't have to get wrapped up in their stone throwing.

However, for me, there is only one type of stone-throwing that I will absolutely not ignore. It's the person who throws stones from behind a hidden fence. Too many unsuspecting people get hurt by that type of person. That's when I get motivated into action myself. I'd rather assist a stone-thrower up to a higher level of communication so he will put down the stones. But, one that hides behind a fence is a bit beyond any logical help.

It's always a matter of motivation and trying to see the other person's point of view, not to mention common sense and a willingness to take responsibility for others.

Heidi

BTW, Tim...Just read your lyric. No need for anyone to go easy on you. It's stunning. Got music to it yet?

Hey Tim,

LOVE your lyric!!! I hope to hear this on the radio...that is if any radio is willing to play something that intelligent!

Thank you for sharing that.

Hugs,
Bobbie

Glad ya liked! Rather serendipitous, considering the thread topic.

;-)

This is interesting because I also think it plays to our society not communicating face to face. It's actually the thing I dislike about emails and posts - it's very easy to rip into someone when you're not right in front of them and that's wrong, the other thing that bothers me is that when you post something you don't have the inflections of the voice or the tone or humor or whatever (I actually deleted two of my posts for this reason) if someone doesn't know you they start to imagine how you said something and can easily twist it to their meaning ...but that's another subject

Anyway Brian just remember that whoever complained to you must have something going on with themselves and it's not you, you just happen to be the one recieving it so hopefully you can brush it away.

I once commented on a political board that I thought that this might be perhaps the most politically divisive time in my life. And I remember Vietnam quite clearly. Someone adroitly pointed out just what you did, Maureen….that the internet and the anonymity it brought with it, seems to have stripped us all of any innate sense of decorum.

It’s quite sad.

Yeah, part of it is great that we can reach out to people but we're reaching out without touching... it takes something away

Well Yeah,
Sometimes I try to put a funny response into a serious discussion by others to relieve the tension. Too many times those folk go right on and ignore me. And I am really tired of it! Ya all pay more attention, ya hear!

When I went in the Navy my first duty station was Atlantic City, N.J. I was straight off the farm and not privy to the ways of the world as yet. A lot of immigrants lived in housing projects in the east. All were "fair" game of colorful descriptions by the other immigrants at that time. At times you would hear those "descriptions." It was all new to me. That was pretty normal and probably not even noticed to any great extent. It was just part of the language.

However today it is pretty amazing of how many supposedly highly educated people sink to the lowest level to make a minor point.

Your right Ray and I think Brian or Bobbie mentioned it, it's sometimes about power and the only way some people feel in control is when they are hurting others with words