JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum "My Country Pride"

I feel a bit safer about posting thanks to Brian. I had serious doubts before.

Here's another older song...as I test the waters.


MY COUNTRY PRIDE
© 1998, Donna Porter

V.1
I was raised in the country, Daddy taught me well
How to aim my gun, how to hunt them quail
Blackberry patches scrapin’ my knees
as I followed along through the brush and trees

V.2
We’d all go fishin’ by the dawn's grey light
and a few times using that dyno-mite
You could always find me taggin’ along
and singin’ them country songs

(Chorus)
The crickets chirpin’ take me back
To the old home place by the railroad track
Old Blue’s barkin’ at a coon outside
and I’m feelin’ my country pride

V.3
I learned how to swim in the Old Blue Creek
with the cold muddy water lappin’ my cheeks
I’d dry on the bank in the evenin’ sun
then hurry on home to see if supper was done

V.4
While waitin’ on the front porch, eager for the night
to go snipe huntin’ with an old flashlight,
I’d count my own little ‘southern stars’
of fire flies caught in Daddy’s mason jars

CHORUS
The crickets chirpin’ take me back
to the old home place by the railroad track
Old Blue’s barkin’ at a coon outside
and I’m feelin’ my country pride

© 1998, Donna Porter




[This message has been edited by MamasHills (edited 05-23-2001).]

Mornin' Donna,

Now there's a song that me back a ways. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. No nits from me. I'll bet there was a rope swing over the swimmin' hole too.

dawg

Good Morning Donna,
I enjoyed this song....lots of good imagery.....felt like I was right there--living the life...
The only question I have is the line--"and a few times using that dynomite....."
Rhymes well but I can't see paople fishing by the light of dynomite.....???????
Nice job--good luck with it
Pam Hurley

Hi Pam, I was certain that this dynomite issue would come up. <grin> Please allow me to explain:
Most fishermen, or fisher women, will know this I suppose, especially those living in the south, but by using dynomite, which is an illegal practice btw, the fish are stunned. They then, immediately float to the top of the water, where you can reach down and scoop them into a net. <grin>

I hope that this clarifies the meaning of the line a bit more.
:-)

Donna




[This message has been edited by MamasHills (edited 05-21-2001).]

Good mornin Dawg!
There sure was a rope swing! Which was older than dirt, frayed from top to bottom and totally unreliable...but that made it all the more fun. <Big Grin>
Thanks!

Donna

Donna,
Gotcha...we do that here when crabbing----shine the flashlight on the water at nite and they swim to the top...then you just scoop em up Piece of cake though it kinda kills the thrill of the hunt.
Pam

[This message has been edited by Hurley (edited 05-21-2001).]

Pam writes:
"though it kinda kills the thrill of the hunt."

That it does Pam, but when there's 30 people expected for a fish fry in less than 2 hours, it sure beats the heck out of waiting on the end of a pole. <lol>

Donna

Howdy Donna...

Great nostalgic trip there!! Sure can relate to this one, although I never did the dynamite thing. Two very minor thoughts for you. Your last line of V2 is shorter than the other last lines. Wondered if that was any problem for you musically. The other thing was..back then...canning was usually done by "wimminfolk" so I thought it might be more appropriate to say Mama's Mason jars. Still a fine piece of writing anyway.

Glad that whoopdidoo didn't keep you from continuing to post!

Bobbie

Hi Bobbie!
Good to hear from you. Thanks for the feedback. I'll work on that shorter line.
Regarding the line 'Daddys mason jars':
Most of the mason jars around these parts contained moonshine. <grin>
Of course there were a few canning jars also so 'Mama's mason jars' would work well too.

My best!
Donna

A very nice lyric, well structured. I don't know how well the dynomite thing will be perceived by the general audience. It really is a bad example of poor sportsmanship, and I know the NRA has spoken against any songs or poetry that exemply or "instruct"(that's their terms) in any kind of poor sportmanship. Yes, I know that kind of thing does happen, but the authorities really don't like anyone teaching others such activities(like someone couldn't figure this out for themself) Ha Ha. But you seem aware of the possibilities of that coming up so I'm sure you know all that info, but I put it up so others would know that sometimes people can get right down mean when such "history" is recited in a song or poetry. I haven't figured out what the big deal is myself. Good luck with your song.

Hi Donna. You captured the essence of a southern summer pretty darn well, here. This is great. I don't have any complaints...I do have one question, though:
Where in the south did you find a creek with blue water? You can't see the bottom of a 1 foot deep creek around here...so much mud .
Anyway, nice job!

Corey

Thanks for your comments Sharon.
I was not aware that the mere mention of such a thing in a song was taken so seriously by the NRA.
This line referring to the dynomite was in no way meant to teach anyone anything at all. It actually came from a story that my grandfather told me.
Regardless of how it may sound, I don't actually live all of my lyrics. I have never actually did such a thing and would not recommend it myself, but it probably does happen on occasion.

Thanks for the comments.
Donna

Corey! I can't believe I didn't catch that line! You're absolutely right. We HAVE NO blue-water creeks! Nearby there *is one *called 'Blue Creek'. Not sure how it got the name though after thinking about it. <g>
Guess I was just thinking of water in general on this one.
Thanks so much! I'll take care of that very obvious blunder immediately.


My best!
Donna

V.3
I learned how to swim in the Old Blue Creek
with the cold muddy water lappin’ my cheeks
I’d dry on the bank in the evenin’ sun
then hurry on home to see if supper was done

Is this a little better Corey?

Thanks for the tip!
Donna


[This message has been edited by MamasHills (edited 05-23-2001).]

Mornin' Donna,

As a son 'o the South, I just wanted to help you out with the "Blue Creek" scenario. You will find scattered across the southeast a mess of "Blue Creeks", Lickin' Creeks" and one "Lickin' Good Creek" that I know of. These names indicate the presence of a bank of "blue marl". This a clay comprised largely of seashell laid down eons ago that is blueish gray in color. It is a natural salt lick, so it would be a wonderful place to deerhunt by canoe.

Fishin' with dynamite began shortly after 1849. Prior to the California Gold rush, most of the working gold mines in this country were in the quartz veins of Virginia
and Georgia. To work a gold mine, you have to have miners. Within two years of the California strike, most of the goldmines in the southeast had closed because there were no miners to work them, and there were a lot of explosives left laying around...mostly black powder at first. After the war of northern aggression, when they finally got the mines open again and dynamite was around, came the Alaskan Gold Strike and it was deja vu all over again. This time there was dynamite left over, and the folks took to fishing.

Not being quite old enough, there was no dynamite availble to me when I was 9 or 10 years old, so we would take a cherry bomb, roll it in glue, then roll it in bb's. Worked surprizingly well. Specially when Grandpa would bite down a mouthful of fish and come out with a bb, look at me and say,
"damn boy, you fish or hunt for this thing?"

dawg

<LOL>
*Thank you Dawg. I *thoroughly enjoyed your reply!

I found the story behind dynomite fishin' very interesting. I was never sure just how it came about. Regarding your cherry bombs, you were quite inventive! <grin>
How is it that the boys always came up with these ingenious ideas?

I also found your explanation of the blue creeks very informative. The fact that some were called 'blue creeks' was something I just never thought to ask about while growing up. Thanks for the info!

Oh yea, I took out the verse in my song regarding shooting at birds with slingshots and BB guns when we were growing up.
Don't want them NRA fellers t'get me.


Donna




[This message has been edited by MamasHills (edited 05-23-2001).]

You're welcome, Donna. I wasn't the one complaining, but don't really understand why org. get riled about songs, stories, movies and poems that speak of things done like the dynoamite thing. But unless the song becomes a hit or legend, you're not apt to get too much flack out of it. I wasn't really writing this for you, but it just opened the opportunity up to tell all those who read this that if and when they wish to write a sports issues, that to take extreme caution in how they tell things just so orgs. like NRA and others come up and make an issue out of a little recitation of history.(Which is what I understood your song to be about).

Thanks again for the caution Sharon. These guys are really that tough huh?
I'll try and remember to choose my words more carefully next time.

I really wouldn't call my lyric a history recitation, I saw it simply as a fond remembrance of growing up in the country.


C'ya!
Donna

Hi Donna, I love songs about country life and such. This seems like a good one to me. Looks like most of the issues have been addressed already. I must agree though that I'd change the dynamite thingy myself just to make it more commercial. Of course it all depends on what your shootin' for.


hotrod

Donna,

Really enjoyed the lyric; very descriptive and flowed great. My only comment would be that your chorus has the same rhyme scheme as all your verses which when put to music might be a bit dull if they all sound alike. IMHO if you changed the rhyme scheme of the chorus you'd make it easier for whoever puts music to it to change up the music. Otherwise, i thoroughly enjoyed this!

Hi Donna....

Well, I'm so late to this party, there are no little nits left. There weren't many to begin with. I just wanted you to know that this was a real "refreshing" lyric. Though I didn't grow up around such wonderful country, it sure would be welcome relaxation now. Nice writing!

Hi Blakeh,
Thanks for taking the time to look over the lyric and leave your comments.

I'll try to work up that chorus a bit.

I appreciate your time and critique!

Donna

Yeah, Donna...that fixed it! Cool brown water is much more familiar to me. The only non-brown water (besides on the Gulf) I've ever been in was in Branson, MO...only it was green there. Anyway, I still love the song!

Corey

Hi Sunny,
Better late than never.
Thanks for your kind comments.
Here's hoping that you too can experience a little of that country living.
It does the spirit good.

My best!
Donna

Hi Donna and Welcome...

Enjoyed the story..and ( the comments..ya learn so much here)....
Flows really well..... I noticed the similarity in rhyme..line structure throughout...(it jumped out because i'm trying to do a few rewrites on songs that
are the same throughout)..and havin a DARN
hard time trying to break 'em up..
and You already have music?....i'd let it be...

Good luck With It..

Kaley

Thank you for the warm welcome Kaley.
I wish you the best of luck on those re-writes. Looks like I need to get to work on a few of mine also.

Take care!
Donna

Ho Donna,

lovely song great imagery, the dynamite bit
is the only nit, I know it's based on fact,
but I don't think you need it you have the talent to rewrite it,

But overall it is a Very Good Song,
If you have the music I would love to hear it, if you have none I would love the Chance to collaborate,

Best wishes Peter Kristian
p.S.
you are welcome to E Mail me.

Peter Kristian

Hi Donna!

Sorry to be so Late sayin "Howdy!"

This Song's a Winner, even WITH the Dynamite Line, tho I'm with Peter & Others suggestin' you write it out.

There's a Certain "Unfairness" to it (as in "the Fish never HAD a CHANCE!") that casts the Singer in a Bad Light...

On the Positive Side, I'm fond of the Mason Jar & the FIREFLIES... I really MISS those Twinklin' Bugs...(What have we DONE to Our Ecology that's Killed these Fabulous Critters OFF, anyways?)

Been So LONG since I grew up next to some Ohio Woodlands...and I forgot how neat those Blackberry Patches really WERE! (As well as So MUCH Great Country Imagery this Fine Song's overflowing With!)

"KUDOS"...but suggest ya Drop the Dynamite, Donna....(Lordy, that's ALMOST a Title, Ain't It?) :-)

Big Ol' Country HUG,
Stan

Thank you Peter,
Looks like that dynomite line is gonna have to blow...uhhh GO! <G>

I'll get in touch with you regarding that collaboration offer. I've gotta run at the moment because we're getting things prepared to head out to Tennessee for Memorial Day weekend performances. However, I'll try and contact you a little later next week.

BTW, If you have a moment, check out my daughter's site.
Country music recording artist, Shalacy Manderson.
http://www.shalacy.com
There's a link to her MP3's. The first song is most recent, while the others were recorded some time ago.

Talk again soon!
My best,
Donna

Hello Stan,
Yes, I think that line will definitely have to go. You're right, it just ain't fair to them lil fishees.

Thanks for your great comments! I'm glad you liked it.

Here's a *big country hug back atcha!
(((( ))))
My best!
Donna



[This message has been edited by MamasHills (edited 05-24-2001).]