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I've only just written these in my maths lesson. I'm worried they're too repetitive! Please be sypathetical!

Sweet dreams (my love)

Sweet dreams my love, Where you fly in the sky
Sweet dreams my love, Where they never say goodbye
Sweet dreams my love, where you never have to pay
Sweet dreams my love, where goes your way
Sweet dreams my love, Where it's only you and me
Sweet dreams my love, Where we wander free
Sweet dreams my love, where you are the Queen
Sweet dreams my love, Where the air is clean
Sweet dreams my love, Where the stars shine all night
Sweet dreams my love, Where all your clouds are white
Sweet dreams my love, Where all your skys are blue
And I hope all your dreams come true

Sweet dreams my love, Don't you ever fear
Sweet dreams my love, Never shed a tear
Sweet dreams my love, Darling don't you cry
Sweet dreams my love, Just look up to the sky
Sweet dreams my love, I'l always be there
Sweet dreams my love, I will always care
Sweet dreams my love, All your worries fly away
Sweet dreams my love, I will always stay
Sweet dreams my love, In this dream you've built
Sweet dreams my love, Where the stars are your Quilt
Sweet dreams my love, Where you wake up to morning dew
And I hope all your dreams come true

In your dreams, you can be
anything you wanna be
In your dreams, your fantasy
can become reality
In your dreams, the words
have no meaning
In your dreams, pain is not
a feeling
While your dreaming, your
as caim as a lake
And I hope, you never have to wake

Thank you

Chris, I'm an old gray haired man of 40...
Trust me, do math in math class.
However, don't give up writing either!
I like what you are saying, but do think the repition has got to go. As far as rhymes, you seem to have a good vocabulary to work with, but I think you would do well to read the post by Bobbie on rymes. I know I found it very educational. Good luck Chris, both with writing and the math test. *GRIN*
Robert

Hi Chris. I pretty much agree with Robert here. The song doesn't seem too bad, but the repitition is a bit much. I'd cut that down a little.

Hi..Chris...What do you think of maybe..Just starting out your verse... with the sweet
dreams...and or ending it with...I think
It's neat that you are what?still in
high school..(I'm not sure? what is
it called in England?) and starting to write....good for you!!!!.

Keep writing...and reading posts...
Post again when you do a re-write.
and be sure to keep your Math Grades High.
Good Luck..

Kaley

[This message has been edited by Kaley Willow (edited 01-15-2001).]

Hi Chris, After about the 4th Sweet Dreams My Love, I stopped reading that part and just read the end of each line, and it came over pretty well. I think you could make a nice lyric out of this - maybe the first line of each verse being "Sweet Dreams My Love". Hope to see more from you.

Thanks everyone,
I deffinetly agree with the repition. It's way over the top, I'll cut it down. Thanks for your comments. Yes we do call it high school, and I'm doing ok with my maths.
Thanks
Chirs