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Written many moons ago, thought it was good (it wasn't), did a rewrite just today, keeping the original idea and a couple verses. Your usual honest feedback is welcomed and encouraged. Thanks.

The Red of Our Blood
lyrics by Greg C. Brown
(c)2001 GCB/EmyKate Productions

I can hear a sound like thunder,
It's funny but I don't see rain.
It's the bellow of the cannons in the valley
Where innocent blood is sure to stain.

CHORUS
Fathers and brothers,
Uncles and sons,
We're fighting a war that can never be won.
In blue and gray colors
We proudly stand tall,
But the red of our blood is the brightest of all.
The red of our blood is the brightest of all.

So they gave the call to gather,
We've assembled for victory.
It will soon be over, don't you worry,
I'll be back just in time for tea.

REPEAT CHORUS

Volunteers are needed badly,
And so I've got to do my part.
I'll be bringing home to you pride and glory,
Just let me come home to your heart

BRIDGE
You can pine away every day
With the tears you spill.
Crying for your soldier boy
Running up another hill.
He's holding on,
Let your prayers bring him home.

CHORUS
Fathers and brothers,
Uncles and sons,
Fighting a war that can never be won.
In blue and gray colors
We stand or we fall,
But the red of our blood is the brightest of all.
The red of our blood is the brightest of all.

Hi Greg...I thought this was really neat.
I see a couple of things..i'd change if
i was writing it....just my take.

In the repeat chorus...Do you think you
need that to you in the 3rd line.?
In Verse 1, line 3 I'd drop the (the)
in front of cannons

Nice Job..
Kaley

Hi Greg,

This one is a good one..as usual. Just a few tweaks for your consideration (also as usual.. ;-))

Kaley is right about taking out the word "the" in the third line just before cannons. Other condensing options might include:

So they gave the call to gather,
We've assembled for victory.
It will soon be over, don't (you-delete) worry,
I'll be back (just-delete) in time for tea.

Volunteers are badly needed, (reverse the two words here)
(And so-delete) I've got to do my part.
I'll be bringing home (to you-delete) pride and glory,
Just let me come home to your heart

BRIDGE
You can pine (away-replace FOR HIM/ME) every day Pining away means dying..and not what you mean here, I am guessing)
With the tears you spill.
Crying for your soldier boy
Running up another hill.
He's BARELY holding on,
Let your prayers bring him home.

Nice job here.
Bobbie

Kaley and Bobbie, thanks for the read and the commentaries. You both make good points about the extraneous words in some places. As I write my lyrics I try to imagine some sort of melody to go along with them, keeping in mind that I'm not a composer, and so the extra syllables sometimes seem to be needed.

A good musician/composer, whoever that may be for this little ditty, may very well make the same changes you have recommended, which do not harm the meaning of the song at all.

Bobbie, I didn't know that pining meant dying. I always thought it was a way of saying "longing for" or "missing" someone. Perhaps I should consult a dictionary more often when I write.

Anyway, thank you both again for your help. 'Tis much appreciated.

Greg