JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Some Things Even Daddy Can't Fix (Worktape)

UPDATED

I fixed a couple of lyrical issues, and redid the vocal....the lyric and link are the most current worktape versions of this song.

https://soundcloud.com/fredchoatemusic/some-things-even-daddy-cant-1

Some Things Daddy Can’t Fix
Fred Choate 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

VERSE 1:
A two wheeler’s kickstand
Balsa wood plane with a rubberband
These types of things are easy for me
A little glue, the turn of a wrench
Guarantees a smile that’s a sure bet
But what about those things not easy to see

CHORUS:
Like that aching heart down deep inside
The sadness found in those dark brown eyes
These things…they ain’t made of wood or brick
The hardest truth when its realized
That mommy’s gone and the reasons why
I guess theres some things even Daddy can’t fix

VERSE 2:
I tell him “Son, its OK”
Other than that I ain’t sure what to say
She was always there to wipe away his tears
I always thought that she’d pull through
But the doctors said that was all they could do
And I ain’t sure I can take away his fears

CHORUS:
Like that aching heart down deep inside
The sadness found in those dark brown eyes
These things…they ain’t made of wood or brick
The hardest truth when its realized
That mommy’s gone and the reasons why
I guess theres some things even Daddy can’t fix
BRIDGE:
I can work magic with my hands
But how can I help him understand

CHORUS/TAG:
That aching heart down deep inside
The sadness found in those dark brown eyes
These things…they ain’t made of wood or brick
The hardest truth when its realized
That mommy’s gone and the reasons why
I guess theres some things even Daddy can’t fix

Now I know theres some things even Daddy can’t fix

Hey Fred...This is a really good story told well. The mood of the music helps carry the load as well. You and Bill get together and plot to tug at our heartstrings today, haha.

Stevie

Thanks Stevie....I have to apologize for the extreme pitchy vocal......I have one hell of a cold right now, and could barely sing it at all......but given this is a first worktape, I guess it is okay to simply get the point across and then fine tune things as you go. The final version will be much cleaner and better arranged, with an in tune vocal

I will be having this demo'd by a pro singer in piano/vocal format. I feel that the lyric supported by the piano can stand alone for demo.....comments?

Fred, that is one fine piece of work with the lyrics. Great imagery -- particularly for those of us that remember your references in the first verse. I hope you will post the final production.

Hey, Fred. I listened to this twice because the first time I felt like the first line didn't sing well with the second. It's was better second listen, but I'd still like another couple of syllables maybe in the first lines of the verses. I'd prefer not the have the word "deep" in both of the first 2 lines of the chorus. And while I don't have a great ear musically, the structure and syllable counts of the verses and chorus are very similar. All that said, I think it's really a terrific song and wish you success with it.

Bill

Thanks Bill......I realized the repeat of the word DEEP as well, and will change that. I will look at the phrasing, and maybe alter a couple words in the verses as well. I know I did have trouble with a few things while throwing that vocal together today....

Many times what I will do is put a rough recording like this together, and then play it over and over while singing along with it.....and many times, I find that I naturally find a better a way to sing it

Thanks Bill...

Fred. Love the song but you should try a less busy backing track which in my opinion is distracting and overpowering.
If you wish to do the song with a single instrument you need a simple strum guitar or single chord arrangement at least for the first verse.
You will find the way.
Vic

Good point Vic. That backing track is just for my worktape stuff at this point...for this tune, I am going to have a a piano player and singer do the demo for me. I will make sure to keep in mind your advice on not letting them get too busy with it...especially in the verses, however, I do want it to sound a little more "angry" in the chorus if that makes sense (I want the vocal to show empathy for his son, but anger at his inability to do more).

By the way, I did like your lyric suggestion in the other thread Thanks for that.

Janice and Bud......thanks for the comment above Somehow I missed it...

I will post the final demo when finished. Should turn out pretty well.

Hi Fred,

Nice to meet ya.
Ya got a real tear jerker here, good song.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Thanks Calvin...I like tear jerkers sometimes I will admit that this lyric got to me as I was trying to sing it yesterday.....not only was my cold kicking my butt, but a couple of times I had to start over because the emotion got me.... I hope that is a good sign, and not just the personal connection the song has to the writer

Hello Fred,

Wow, what a killer lyric! Very relatable to any dad and fantastic imagery. Who can forget the first two wheeler with the kickstand and those balsa wood airplanes with the rubberbands? Right from the start, that imagery drew me in. Great opening lines imo. I can definately see a bigger production really making this tune blossom into something extra special. Nice write.

Dave

Thank you Dave.....I am really looking forward to hearing what the demo singer can do for it

Hi Fred,

I wasn't around much a week or so back and missed this one. This is a beautiful song/melody. I had some thoughts, but decided to read everyone else's comments first, as I was curious. I get what Bill was saying with a couple places with delivery that might be improved for better prosody. I like the chorus a lot however, as even though musically similar to verse, it establishes a different melody and launches well with -- "like uh," -- subtle but powerful! Little things like that make a big difference.

This song should be a slow tempo, but I'd be curious to hear it very slightly faster, maybe just one or two beats per minute. I also like Vic's idea of hearing this with a quality acoustic guitar track--that sound will enhance the emotion even more, not that it sounds bad with the piano. Experiment.

There is one line that I think would flow and sound "phonetically" better with a small reversal of words--brick and wood. If you are going for an internal rhyme with brick and fix, I don't think it's worth it--I don't see strong rhyming going on with your chorus--JMO.

I really enjoyed your song Fred, nice potential here!

steady-eddie.

Eddie....see my new post. I sped this song up 4 bpm, had it done with a piano/vocal format, and did a slight rewrite of the lyric. I am very happy withe final demo.