My first FAWM song - Now Beans and Macaroni! - Just Plain Folks Music Organization Message Boards

Some of you commented on the original demo of this one with just bass accompaniment. I have moved it along, although it is not finished - needs a real drum track and some tidying up. Take a listen and let me know what you think. The version with just bass is below it.

New Version

All about the bass

We Said Goodbye Copyright �2015 Colin Ward

V1
I said goodbye to a friend today,
She left for greener pastures,
I don�t know when I�ll see her again,
She�s out seeking answers

V2
Opportunity knocked and she couldn�t say no,
Even though her friends will miss her,
A thousand miles between us now,
Her voice is just a whisper

Ch
And we celebrated when she hit the road,
With beans and macaroni,
Alcohol flowed as we kissed goodbye,
And we hope she won�t be lonely,
A cake was cut with her name on top,
And her things were put in a trailer,
She headed north with her head in a cloud,
At least it�s not Venezuela

Instrumental
Ch

Bridge
And we sometimes talk on the phone,
And chat about how we�re doing,
How the weather is bad, day after day,
And the friendship that needs renewing

Ch

might need some bass!No really though this is gonna be a cool one.It has some fun along with the seriousness.Can't wait to hear the others.I wish i could put a cd out a month!Mike

Hey Colin,

Polish ? Hmmmm.... yeah well..... hmmm....

It's good to see you put up a work such as this, because it's all bare bones, and you're seeing if the idea is there, and worth further work ?

Well, Ok, as a song I think it's quirky, and the lyrics have a certain reverence to them, the chord structure is fine, and I can see a lot of cross harmonies put in there, and could I see it worthwhile working on ? Yep, for sure. There's something there which has "zing" to it, in a tangenal kind of way.

Not a "ditch this" song.

cheers, niteshift

Originally Posted by Colin Ward

Resting after writing 14 new songs in February for February Album Writing Month. The songs are rough drafts and now I am ready to start polishing this one. All comments welcome.

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We Said Goodbye Copyright �2015 Colin Ward

V1
I said goodbye to a friend today,
She left for greener pastures,
I don�t know when I�ll see her again,
She�s out seeking answers

V2
A change came up and she couldn�t say no,
Even though her friends will miss her,
A thousand miles between us now,
Her voice is just a whisper

Ch
And we celebrated when she hit the road,
With beans and macaroni,
Alcohol flowed as we kissed goodbye,
And we hope she won�t be lonely,
A cake was cut with her name on top,
And her things were put in a trailer,
She headed north with her head in a cloud,
At least it�s not Venezuela- to me the chorus needs more recognizable melody, it sounds to me too similar to the verse. I also feel shortening it might be better and the Venezuela to me takes away the seriousness, though the rhyme is cool. It takes away for me, personally. Keep or sweep

Instrumental
Ch

Bridge
And we sometimes talk on the phone,
And chat about how we�re doing,
How the weather is bad, day after day,
And the friendship that needs renewing-this line seems too ..I don't know the word, too proper maybe?

Ch

Colin I am digging the melody of the verses here and I remember what this song was about, you had told me, I wonder if it might resonate more to make it about a lover leaving instead of just a friend. Kimberly

Hey Colin,

It is kind of hard to critique a song in such an undeveloped state, but I will say I dig the melody a lot. I also enjoyed the lyric, especially this line ...

"And we celebrated when she hit the road,
With beans and macaroni"

You don't see a lot of people celebrating with beans and macaroni. Sounds like fun.

I also found it interesting that you played the rough draft with the bass. Did you write this tune on the bass? For me, that would be extremely difficult to do.

Dave

Thanks everyone. As you may know, FAWM motivates one to crank out songs and then go back and finish them later. After about five songs, I totally forget what the first one sounded like so I have to go back and get back into each one with renewed enthusiasm after it's over.

I recorded this with just the bass which makes staying on pitch a bit of a challenge since it is harder to hear low pitch while singing. I might have strummed a few chords on the guitar while writing it but I honestly forget.

My plan is to start out with the bass and vocal and build as other things come in and go out....maybe end with just bass. I guess I need to tighten up the lyrics and phrasing first, and polish the melody so comments about those come first.

Kim, I thought about leaving it as friend just so people could imagine what kind of friend she is. More people could relate to the lyric if it is not too specific.

Thanks

Hi Colin:

I attempted to listen right after you posted the song. Unfortunately, looks like soundclick does not care for my browser and I did not get to hear it. I did read the lyric and understand that time is not your ally with such a compressed schedule. The bones are there but I suspect you will probably change a phrase or word here or there. Best of luck with this and your album.

Dave

Performed nicely. Both bass and vocal. IMO it needs both a lyrical and melodic hook. I'd vote w/ Kim that it might be more interesting if a relationship was involved. Or maybe the alcohol flowed and one thing led to another and now you have really mixed feelings as she drives away.

Peace,

Ian

Nice start on the lyrics, love the concept.
Fun take on the sad situation, of missing a friend.

Hat's off to you hard working Fawmers.

All the best as you whip it into shape.

Dave, You can also hear it here.... https://soundcloud.com/colinwardmusic/we-said-goodbye-rough-draft

Ian,

Thanks for the helpful comments. Lots of work yet.....

Nelson,

Thanks for checking it out. FAWM is real motivator.

I haven't started coming out of the FAWM fog yet (ha, ha) -- maybe this weekend I will start weaning myself off of the site!

As said above, I am not hearing a "melodic hook" and the there is not enough differentiation between the chorus and verse. Anyway, congrats on getting your 14 for FAWM -- now comes the hard work!

Hi again, Colin:

I recognized my browser was not the problem when I listened to someone else's song via that site. This morning, I noticed the "player" appeared correctly on my computer screen and it allowed me to hear your fledgling song. (B-T-W...thanks for posting a link... even though I did not have to use it.)

We all know this one is written under extreme pressure and that you will continue to whittle, cut and paste until it comes out the way you want it. Kevin, as usual... says the gospel truth. Still, you have many good lines in this one and the melody will stand out with more backing... plus a twist here or a chop there.

Best of luck with it,

Dave

I have update this one with more music, although it is not finished. Comments welcome!

Love that guitar Colin, and the "beans and macaroni line".

Yes, real drums will make a big improvement.

Vic

Indeed you are wiping it into shape.
Very cool guitar work, especially in the musical break.
Wonderful vocals as well.

Thanks Vic and Nelson!

good work as always !

GREAT CHORUS that sure made me smile.

Calvin

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

I seem to remember commenting on the original over on the FAWM site. Colin.
Good to hear how well the music has come along.

It's a good story, with some fine lines/imagery. Very nice melody.

Donna

Calvin,

Thanks for that...

Donna,

Thanks - I believe you did!

It could be finished!

Hi Colin,

You've got a nice, refreshingly light song here!
I like the lightness of the relationship, but also understand the tug toward wanting to make it more!

I thought I'd mention that when I finished listening to the song, the macaroni line was really standing out to me. It has something to do with the way you sang that line, not just the word.

So, I think it should be called "Beans and Macaroni!"

Lisa

Lisa....thanks! Interesting suggestion. I will very seriously consider that.

What the heck....it's Beans and Macaroni now.

COOL BEANS!

That's what I've been singing for the past four days!
Lisa

Great, Lisa!

Great song, vocal and production enjoyed the listen.Liked that instrumental too
Travis

Thank you, Travis!

Even better Colin.
Great over production and sweet guitar through out.