country...

Picnic Table in the Park

He stepped off the crosstown, with his bag of crumbs
Tilted his old felt hat, toward the morning sun
Walked past water fountains, pines and big Doug Firs
Tapped his hearing aid twice, listening for the birds

Near the picnic table in the park
Where young Tarzans played on monkey bars
New mom’s pushin’ strollers down flagstone paths
Man playin’ fetch with his collie in the grass
Pig-tail girl trading half her Almond Joy
For one of her brother’s Tonka toys
Two names and Cupid’s arrow through a heart
On the picnic table in the park

Then he heard bulldozers, where his day once bloomed
Sign on a daisy hill said, “strip mall coming soon”
He dropped his bag of crumbs and, lost them on the wind
Cos only crows of sadness, sang there now for him

Near the picnic table in the park
Fleabag hound scratching on rough tree bark
Children laughing all the way down the spiral slide
Kid playin’ hooky with his new box kite
Blue hairs on benches with their knitting and prunes
Trading gossip and coupons all afternoon
Little girls putting ladybugs in Jiffy jars
By the picnic table in the park

Windows on his bus ride home, filled with memories
Days blown by winds of change, like November leaves

Near the picnic table in the park
The picnic table in the park…

©2007 Robert George

I positively love this...Rob Pulled me right in..because I recently did a melody for someone..with a somewhat similar theme..(YET quite a bit different and was not shared on the board)...Screaming stood out to me.... I'm sure you had a reason on choosing that over laughing... but the spirals in the park...as opposed to an amusement park?..I'd think the kids would be more inclined to laugh rather than scream....personal preference stuff I'm sure...

I teared up when I read these two lines..., good writing.

Sign on a daisy hill said, “strip mall coming soon”
He dropped his bag of crumbs and, lost them on the wind

best..w/hugs
Kaley

aahh... laughing is better. I didn't use it because i used it in a section I deleted and forgot to change it.

I hear this one. It has a breezy but melancholy lilt. Imagery packed with exactly what you find when you sit in at a picnic table in a park.

I didn't quite understand the tag:
"Windows on his bus ride home, filled with memories
Days blown by winds of change, like November leaves"

Does it mean that as he stares out the window on his ride home, he is remembering his life? and does he feel like the day he just had is blowing on the winds of change?

There is someting poignant and melancholy in a setting like this where simple memories are made and yet "progress" is menacing, set to distroy the place and, I guess, the memories. There is probably a word for it- but not in English. This lyric mines the same emotional stratum as songs like "Walk away Rene"

I really like this, Rob!! Too many favorite lines to just pick out a few ... great visuals!!

thanks Mary Lou.

Joe, he's not remembering his whole life...just "days...near the picnic table in the park". and I love Walk Away Renee.

Hi Robert,

You've given us a short piece of cinema here. The camera knows what to look at, from the first with the old man tapping his ear plug to the very last image of young girls putting ladybugs in jars...

The director, in a dozen or so quick cuts, tells the story of a man in the "November" of his life, who appreciates the simple, unencumbered beauty found in nature and children. The strip mall must feel like a tragic ending for him...what else does he have...very sad...beautiful, Robert.

Mike

thanks Mike.

Hi Robert,

Very nice and really takes you to the place. Some possible suggestions in (paranthesis)

You have:

Two names and Cupid’s arrow (piercing) through a heart
(Carved with a pen knife) on the picnic table in the park



Then he heard bulldozers, where his day once bloomed (where happy sounds once loomed)
(Read a)Sign on a daisy hill said, “strip mall coming soon”
He dropped his bag of crumbs and, lost them on the wind
Cos only crows of sadness, sang there now for him


Kid playin’ hooky with his new box kite (with a neighbor's borrowed bike)
Blue hairs on benches with their knitting and prunes (grey hairs on benches with their knitting and crochet)
Trading gossip and coupons all afternoon (trading gossip and recipes while taking in the day)or (trading favorite recipes finding refuge in the shade)
Little girls putting ladybugs in Jiffy jars
By the picnic table in the park

Best,
Lynn

thanks Lynn but I kinda prefer what I have.

It's a gem. Another well crafted, inspired and inspiring piece of art.

Corey

Robert,

This feels very "real" I too feel as if i am a well directed camera man, taking shots of a bunch of seemingy random images that together form the world this man knows.

-steve

thanks guys.

Hey Robert!

The imagery here is amazing! I can actually visualize everything that is going on. It almost hurts to read it because this kind of thing seems to be happening everywhere we turn.

Beautiful!

Charlann

thanks Charlann...I have a pub looking at this so I thought I'd go back and see how folks reacted.