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#1166289 - 07/06/20 01:25 PM URIAH KEENE( Rewrite 3)  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,921
Travis david Offline
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Travis david  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,921
Kendal, Cumbria .UK

Thanks to John Selleck for his help and suggestions
And Mike for his help too

URIAH KEENE

V
He ran the pawn shop, where the needy would go
though didn't offer much, trade was rarely slow
Ever since the lumber yard had to close
folks short on cash, even pawned their Sunday clothes

V
Sign upon the door said, CLOSED FOR A WHILE
anyone who knew him, knew thats not his style
Two days went by curiousity raised more doubts
he wasn't seen in town, or anywhere about

C
His names Uriah Keene
folks called him Mr. Mean
Goes to church, won't give a dime
Charges interest for his time
Uriah, someone's here to hock their shoes
tables bare they need some food.
Uriah, a man they loved to hate
wouldnt give a door a bang, or a garden gate
Uriah it's the truth -
Yet so many count on you

V
There were all kinds of rumours going around
he'd been done to death, buried out of town
lying dead with his money in his bed?
Or quit the town for bigger fish, someone said

Br 1
Day four
Ged at the general store put provisions on his slate
Old customers were good friends, their money could wait.

V
Then on the seventh day, Uriah keene was seen
at morning church, though folks darent ask where he'd been
He smiled, said, good morning what a nice day
usually never having ' pleasant word to say.

C

V
The plate was passed around then people stared
Keene usually waved his hand, send it elsewhere
Gasps of disbelief, echoed round the congregation
Pastor Jones was stunned, by Uriahs big donation

B2
On Monday morning, a new sign went on his door
GOODBYE.WISH I'D DONE MORE
Leaving parcels on steps the night before
With hocked items returned, enough cash
for a year or more

Outro
Pastor Jones later said, Uriah had had these dreams
they seemed so real, with a scary theme
Thought he'd be haunted forever unless
His skinflint ways were quickly addressed
He gave back all he thought he'd taken
plus a generous interest - I reckon


C


----------------------

Thanks to John Selleck for his help and suggestions

URIAH KEENE
V
Sign upon the door said, CLOSED FOR A WHILE
anyone who knew him, knew thats not his style
Two days went by curiousity raised more doubts
he wasn't seen in town, or anywhere about

V
He ran the pawn shop, where the needy would go
though didn't offer much, trade was rarely slow
Ever since the lumber yard had to close
folks short on cash, even pawned their Sunday clothes

C
His names Uriah Keene
folks called him Mr. Mean
Goes to church, won't give a dime
Charges interest for his time
Uriah, someone's here to hock their shoes
tables bare they need some food.
Uriah, a man they loved to hate
wouldnt give a door a bang, or a garden gate
Uriah it's the truth -
Yet so many count on you

V
There were all kinds of rumours going around
he'd been done to death, buried out of town
lying dead with his money in his bed?
Or quit the town for bigger fish, someone said

Br 1
Day four
Ged at the general store put provisions on his slate
Old customers were good friends, their money could wait.

V
Then on the seventh day, Uriah keene was seen
at morning church, though folks darent ask where he'd been
He smiled, said, good morning what a nice day
usually never having ' pleasant word to say.

C

V
The plate was passed around then people stared
Keene usually waved his hand, send it elsewhere
Gasps of disbelief, echoed round the congregation
Pastor Jones was stunned, by Uriahs big donation

B2
On Monday morning, a new sign went on his door
GOODBYE.WISH I'D DONE MORE
Leaving parcels on steps the night before
With hocked items returned, enough cash
for a year or more

Outro
Pastor Jones later said, Uriah had had these dreams
they seemed so real, with a scary theme
Thought he'd be haunted forever unless
His skinflint ways were quickly addressed
He gave back all he thought he'd taken
plus a generous interest - I reckon


C

-------------------------------------

URIAH KEENE

V
Sign upon the door said, CLOSED FOR A WHILE
anyone who knew him, knew thats not his style
Two days went by curiousity raised more doubts
he hadn't been seen in town, or anywhere about

V
He ran a pawn shop, where the needy would go
he didn't offer much, but trade was rarely slow
Ever since the old lumber yard had to close
folks ran short of money, even pawned their Sunday clothes

C His names Uriah Keene
folks called him Mr. Mean
Goes to church, won't give a dime
he'd charge interest for his time
Uriah, someone's here to hock their shoes
tables bare they need some food.
Uriah a man they love to hate
wouldnt give a door a bang, or a gate
Uriah it's the truth -
Yet so many count on you


V
There were all kinds whispers going around
that he'd been done to death, buried out of town
Or could be lying with his money in his bed
fallen ill, that's why that signs on his door, they said.

Br 1
Day four, general store put provisions on the slate
his customers were friends, their money could wait.

V
Then on the seventh day, Uriah keene was seen
at morning church , folks darent ask where he'd been
He smiled and said, good morning what a lovely day
Real Keene ? Or had the real Uriah been conjoured away?

C

V
When the plate came round for his offering, folks stared
barely a dollar on it, he put his wallet down there
Gasps of disbelief, echoed round the small congregation
Pastor confirmed, a three hundred dollar donation.

B2
On Monday morning, another sign went on Keene's door
GOODBYE.WISH I'D DONE MORE
Leaving parcels on steps the night before
With hocked items returned, and cash
for a year or more

Outro

Pastor Jones later said, Uriah had had these dreams
they seemed so real, the same recurring theme
Thought he'd be haunted forever unless
His skinflint ways were quickly addressed
He gave back all he thought he'd taken
plus a generous interest - I reckon


C

Last edited by Travis david; 07/08/20 04:33 PM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1166299 - 07/06/20 05:43 PM Re: URIAH KEENE [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 244
Bill Draper Offline
Serious Contributor
Bill Draper  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 244
Victoria,BC Canada
I enjoyed the story in this song. Positive feeling to it...nice.
The ending brings some mystery. Pastor Jones additions to the story....leave me wanting more detail on Uriah's continuing days.

Bill

#1166300 - 07/06/20 05:52 PM Re: URIAH KEENE [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,010
John W. Selleck Online content
Top 100 Poster
John W. Selleck  Online Content
Top 100 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,010
NJ
Hi John,
I really like the story/theme/intent behind this one. I have some suggestions, and if you want them, send me a PM.


Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost forever.

www.soundclick.com/johnsings
www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
www.soundclick.com/johnselleck
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandID=1468958 For Selleck/Kay co-writes
#1166302 - 07/07/20 01:33 AM Re: URIAH KEENE [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,921
Travis david Offline
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,921
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Bill
Thanks for looking
Not there yet needs a rewrite or 3
Regards
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1166303 - 07/07/20 01:34 AM Re: URIAH KEENE [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,921
Travis david Offline
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,921
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi John
Of course
Sent you a PM
Regards
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1166312 - 07/07/20 07:45 AM Re: URIAH KEENE [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,921
Travis david Offline
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,921
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Thanks John for your help and changes, I've used some
John

Last edited by Travis david; 07/07/20 07:46 AM.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1166377 - 07/08/20 08:57 AM Re: URIAH KEENE [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 931
9ne Offline
Top 500 Poster
9ne  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 931
N.E. of Toronto
Scrooge? I think it may be better to start with the 2V leading into:
So when the door sign said...
Best,
- Mike


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=170948

I think what makes satan so attractive to others is
that he tastes like chocolate...
....and he played real drums
#1166388 - 07/08/20 04:21 PM Re: URIAH KEENE [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,921
Travis david Offline
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,921
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Hi Mike
I wondered about this from the start.
Yes it needs reversing
Cheers
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
#1166390 - 07/08/20 04:25 PM Re: URIAH KEENE [Re: Travis david]  
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,921
Travis david Offline
Top 10 Poster
Travis david  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,921
Kendal, Cumbria .UK
Verse 1 and 2 reverserd
Cheers Mike
John


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

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