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I made some changes that Calvin and Travis suggested! Thanks so much, guys!
Can't Stop Her From Coming 'Round (w/changes)
His ex delivered flowers on our wedding day For my baby shower she arranged a bouquet My dad died and she arrived with lilies I said this has to stop, please do something Billy
Pre If she shows up with another vase I want her gone before Amazing Grace
Chorus Babe I'm really sorry he said Nervous and scratchin' his head You know how it is with my ex Our situation is complex She's an important part of this small town I can't stop her from coming 'round
I shot her a look at my best friends party Even her basket of daisies looked sorry My birthday surprise came as no surprise A dozen red roses and two prying eyes
Pre Billy, I cried, I can't take anymore It's her or me, our bed or the floor
Chorus Babe I'm really sorry he said Nervous and scratchin' his head You know how it is with my ex Our situation is complex She's the only florist in this small town I can't stop FLOWERS coming 'round*
Got BILLY PLANTING FLOWERS IN THE ground** Maybe I can stop her from coming 'round
(c) 2013, Lisa Gundling
*Thanks, Calvin! That's perfect there! **Thanks, Travis! I love the idea of putting Billy to work!!
Last edited by Lisa Gundling; 10/25/13 11:47 AM.
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A good twist in the second chorus Lisa lol.Good one but you'll have to ditch wimpish dithering Billy. Either that or set him to work in the flower bed, quickly! Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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She'd even shown up at my best friends party asked her out loud, did you get dressed in a hurry? Then gave her a look 'bout enough to kill she'll be pushing (up) daisy's messing with (my) Bill
() perhaps one of these words? Twav/john
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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a possibility for the 2nd chorus.... 2nd Chorus Babe I'm really sorry he said Nervous and scratchin' his head You know how it is with my ex Our situation is complex She's the only florist in this small town I can't stop her FLOWERS from coming 'round Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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A unique song idea! The lilies/Billy rhyme really jumped at me. I know most writers insist on perfect rhyme schemes. I often forgo rhymes rather than bending over backwards. I would freak everyone out by saying, "please do something Sam"
Jim
Last edited by Jim Colyer; 10/24/13 06:49 PM.
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Hey Travis,
Okay, you had me all in a dither about dithering Billy! In the end (well, it might not be the end), I decided to take your suggestion and put Billy to work in the garden! I thought that was SOOO funny!
And while I love your verse suggestion...I decided against it because I don't want to give the impression that the ex-wife is flirting with Billy or trying to cause trouble. I really want it to convey that she's simply a florist, and the girl is irrationally jealous.
But, I'm still mulling it over, and I love the pushing up daisies and don't know why I didn't think to include that somehow, so I'm thinking, thinking....
Thanks so much for your help!
Lisa
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Hi Calvin,
YEAH BABY -- that is a perfect idea for the last chorus and I've included it!
Thanks so much!
Lisa
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Hi Jim,
You've said before that you like true songs, so maybe you sensed the truth in this one!
A relative inspired the song when she e-mailed me and said that, ironically, someone unknowingly ordered flowers from her husband's ex-wife's shop, and it turns out there was a problem with the flowers, and the sender did not like the photo of how the flowers looked, and so it turned into a bigger issue than it should have been.
I thought that was too funny not to run with the idea! But I e-mailed the song to her about a week before I posted this, and she hasn't responded....so maybe it's not not so funny to her -- lol! I guess I have to go groveling now, apologizing if I offended her. She's gotta forgive me, though. We're blood.
So based upon your suggestion, this is the change I should make?:
My dad died and she arrived with lilies I said this has to stop, please do something SAMily
Laughing....
Lisa
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My dad died and she arrived with lilies I said this has to stop, please stop it now, EMILY
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Brings up too many issues, Jim. There's a baby shower in the song, so then who is the father? Is the singer cheating? Sorry -- can't do it, even for a perfect rhyme! LOL! Lisa
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Ha this one's a hoot Lisa,
Only too sad that Stan wasn't here to read and review, and again I am late to the party but so what, the cakes not half eaten lol...forgive me if I sound a little crazy.
Very well penned lyrics though gets to the heart of the matter and certainly has a "you picked a fine time to leave me lucille" feel to it, or perhaps "ruby don't take your love to town". Heck even seems like the verses could be sung to "Ruby don't take your love to town". Very nicely done Lisa.
Derek aKa tHaT gUy
Last edited by Derek Hines; 10/28/13 06:39 PM.
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Hi Lisa,
I can see by the comment that some great changes were made.
Very cool and original idea!
Geneva
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Hi Geneva,
It's so nice to see you back -- I'm sorry for my delay in getting back to you! Thank you for your nice comments here -- and yes, I got some really great help!
Thanks! Lisa
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HI Derek, Oops -- I answered out of order! Yes, I find myself missing Stan's comments a lot too! Thank you for your nice comments on this and that's interesting about singing it to the ruby tune -- I tried it and you're right! Thanks again! Lisa
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