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Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,160 Likes: 26
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 2,160 Likes: 26 |
I like this. A real slice of humanity. There's not much variation musically, but then you are writing about boredom, so it works. For the same reason, I think the fade out is the right choice when it comes to ending it - the long day may have ended, but it will just lead to another one.
You wrote:
"can barely see the sunshine
through the cracks in the cage"
but you sang:
"can barely see the sunshine
between the cracks in the cage"
Obviously, the written version makes more sense.
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