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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 05/01/24 01:05 PM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/25/24 01:36 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/24/24 10:25 AM
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by Sunset Poet - 04/24/24 08:09 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/23/24 10:08 AM
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,385 Likes: 1 |
Travis,
This one has a lot of potential--really like the simplicity of it. I might consider moving that second verse to the end. It might be a nice segway to the bridge, where in battle, the singer tries not to think of her. Not quite sure how you view the story here, but it seems to me the singer is currently a commander/captain of the ship. It might be interesting if this is a song sung to the "boys" under his command--the chorus being a reminder for them to enjoy life while they can, for tomorrow their ship will sail into dangerous waters . . . leaving implicit that they may not return after they leave.
Just one direction to go in . . . and food for thought.
Will look forward to see how this one turns out.
Regards,
Deej
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