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by Rob B. - 04/21/24 08:40 PM
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Joined: Jun 2005
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Hi Neil,
I think either POV can work, and personally kind of like “her” if I am watching the person perform it. Tough call though! I’m having a little trouble with “I raise your (her) memories” lines. If memories was singular, “I raise your [her] memory” that makes more sense to me. The plural "your (her) memories" makes it sound like they are the memories SHE has, rather than the person telling the story. That's how I interpret it anyway. Or maybe try “I raise our memories”.
Good rhymes and some open, emotional lines that should make a moving song.
Kristi Good points Kristi...thanks.
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