JPF Home Page Forums Thread Like Summary - Life In A Dying Town

I found this song lyric (Life In A Dying Town) from Carroll Kiphen this afternoon in the Lyric Feedback Forum. I felt inspired so I wrote and recorded this little stripped-down demo. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14646544

All the best – Robert

HI Rob,

Musically and lyrically this can be compared, on the surface, to Simon and Garfunkel's "My Little Town."

The main difference is that S & G are "looking back" and there is as much (angry, resentful) personal opinion as descriptive "snapshots" in their song, whereas the young woman is singing more "in the moment"--about what is happening NOW, as we speak, in her town, and it's mostly descriptive and does not reveal much (at least directly) about how she feels about her town.

And though Carroll's lyric as sung by the female vocalist does seem more objective about her town than the one in S & G's hit, it is no less moving to me, and the song, as a whole is very moving to me as well.

I think there is an "inkblot" effect when we listen to something that is basically descriptive imagery: we tend to "project" how the singer feels into the singer, based on how those images make us feel.

Musically, based on some comments, I was prepared to be listening to "happy" music and experiencing irony between the music and lyric, like we experience when we hear Gilbert O' Sullivan's "Alone Again (Naturally)." But the music to "Life In A Dying Town" is about as happy as that in "My Little Town" --that being: not happy at all, at least for me.

There's a beautifully sad feeling that overwhelms me, especially in the chorus and the chord changes therein. The musical writing, here, does more to affect my perception of "how she feels" about the dying town than anything in the lyric, a lyric that sticks to "showing" and not "telling" consistently throughout. Bravo on that count!

So for me, in other words, the music helps clarify a very "showing" lyric by "telling" me it's okay to feel sad that this is "a dying town."

And the saddest beauty in the song is how the girl distances herself from it, though she has clearly lived in it, if not STILL living in it. She refers to the folks in this town as "they" and has divorced herself, in her mind, from the town, while trying to talk about it objectively. This is a very layered write.

Great lyric, great music. Perfect match between them, composition-ally, for me.

Mike

Really, Couch? Come down from your high horse and give the poor animal a break from carting such an overstuffed piece of furniture around. Who cares if the imagery supports the title (which it does). That's the kind of thing only the most navel gazing of lyricists care about. And if I catch you spouting any more tired old tropes like "Think of a strong hook, then write well structured, well metered vss that support it," I'll come round and shake you till all those coins fall out of your cushions.

Just joking, but I do think you tend to see things exclusively through your own way of writing. Maybe we're all guilty of that to some extent.

I see towns like this around where I live. The fact that they're "dying" isn't some kind of moral judgment, just a slightly sad and wistful observation. It doesn't say they're bad places. The lyric captures that quite well. I'm not saying that it couldn't be improved, but the meter isn't shaky. Rob's AI vocals can make it seem that way (one of the problems I have with the technology at this point), but properly phrased, it flows well.

The town where I live was facing a similar situation a few years ago and, credit where it's due, they have done an amazing job of turning things around by first acknowledging the problem and then taking steps to make it a more attractive place to live for all ages.

This thread, unlike other recent threads involving songs created with AI, resembles a "spitballing session" where the show runner hears the thoughts of everyone in the room. Ultimately, it can only help a show's production.

Any personal need to be "wrong" or "right" is so much less important than the fact that the ideas presented can ultimately help not only the original writers (in this case Carroll and Rob) but also anyone else who chooses to read the thread.

Vive la différence!!!

Mike

Hi Rob

I just re-read the lyric....if that's what's happening in that town, It's not dying....it's dead...period..over!!! I'm not saying it's not a good life 'cause I live in a small town but 2023 passed it by. Dying small towns everywhere look like the one in CK's lyric. Clinging to the past isn't a bad thing but that doesn't mean it isn't dying....personally, at my age (76) I refuse to dwell in the past because the moment I do...I die! It's a constant battle to keep current.

Just some thoughts

Steve