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#965344 06/24/12 06:36 AM
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glynda Offline OP
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Ok you all know I Can NOT sing..but...with my health issues as they are....I want to sing a couple of my songs to leave for my children so they can hear me IF they ever want to...to kinda see how I hear the songs I write...

Now you can crit, nit, pick my singing apart, won't hurt me, but this is only for me to leave for my children

John Lawrence Schick was so wonderful to do this piano track...I'll also have Heather to do it with John's Piano...

Thank you John so much for this...you are a wonderful man....

JUST IN FROM ANDY...WOW CAN'T BELIEVE HOW GREAT HE'S MADE ME SOUND...THIS IS SO WONDERFUL...I'M STILL CRYING....

https://www.box.com/s/29e59165223b827d256b


http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11780434

thanks for all your help on all my songs....glyn
*****************************************************************

At bottom I have revised the lyrics, will re-sing it in a few days....


http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11725047

You’ve Still Got It

When you kiss me that way
I go weak in the knees
When you pull me close
I whisper, kiss me again please

Though time rolls on by
Our love gets better each year
I wouldn't change a moment
Or this love that we share

Baby…………….You’ve Still To It

Sometimes I’ll catch myself
Thinking of you and saying your name
I'll call just to say hello
Phone in your hand you’re doing the same
Hearing your voice I can see your smile
Yes, I believe I’ll be staying awhile

Instrumental

You fill my nights with so much love
And promise not to leave
I'd watch you fall asleep
And listen to you breathe

One time you made me cry
As you kissed my tears away
You held me while I cried
Made everything okay


Yeah, Baby….You’ve Still Got It

Sometimes I’ll catch myself
Thinking of you and saying your name
I'll call just to say hello
Phone in your hand you’re doing the same
Hearing your voice I can see your smile
Yes, I believe I’ll be staying awhile

Cuz, Baby…You’ve Still Got It

Yeah, Baby….You’ve Still Got It

You’ve Still Got It

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNN


Last edited by glynda; 08/30/12 06:43 PM.
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Hi Glynda,

This is really pretty! Don't you worry about your singing you sing much better than I do! smile

John, the music is perfect. smile

Dottie

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Let me make this very clear (perfectly sounded rushed.)
Pretty song.

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Glyn,

There ain't nothing wrong with your singing. This is a very pretty song. There are a few little places where I thought the phrasing could have been a bit different but girl, you did pretty darn good.

Thank you Glyn,
Danny


The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing of." —Blaise Pascal, 1670
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That's a real pretty song Glyn - and a great piano track by John. smile

Best way to get rid of the popping is probably to use a pop filter:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Pop_filter.jpg

I've heard of people putting a stocking in a frame in front of the mic to do the same thing.

Scott

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very very nice Glynda!I enjoyed this!

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glyn.... this is one pretty song! that damn popping though was annoying!! LOL :)))))) scotty

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glynda Offline OP
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Thanks to all of you that has listened....just gotta find me a bitter mic and pop filter, have always had this problem and I've bought several different mics....guess you get what you pay for....

Will check on a better mic this week and then re-cord this....

It's not over till the fat lady sings...oh shoot I AM THE FAT LADY......

glyn

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glynda Offline OP
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Oh and still have time to re-write a few places to see how other lines will work.....

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Glyn for what your lungs have been through your singing was just fine!! May I say that this melody is beautiful. I know John is playing, but did he also write the melody?? Whoever wrote the melody take a bow!!!! love

I see alittle disconnect with prosody of lyric and melody in atleast some of the words. This melody is so so...what's the word...(it's a good word I'm just trying to think of it)...okay how about simple yet sophisticated so that the "baby you've still got it" seems like it doesn't fit. The "baby you've still got it" might fare better in a country or uptempo song and feels out of place wrapped in this piano melody. It's almost like the "baby" could be replaced with "darling" and then if that happened the "you've still got it" would have to be changed. Remember Glyn this is just my take on the song and I am not an expert.

If you look at verses 1 and 2 they are pretty matched meterwise, and have a similar number of syllables, BUT verses 3 and 4 are much longer and that's why it gets rushed.

If this song is only to leave for your children and not for commercial purposes then it is fine, but I would still try and remove some of the extra words.

I put some possible changes in bold and lower down I put some ideas in (parenthesis)

When you kiss me that way
I go weak in the knees
And when you pull me close
I whisper, just once more please

No matter how old we get (Though time rolls on by)
You get better each year (Our love gets better every year)
Love the silver in your hair (And I wouldn't change a moment)
Let me make this perfectly clear (Or this love that we share)

Baby…………….You’ve Still Got It (And darling....I still love you) or (And babeeeeee...I still love you)

Sometimes I’ll catch myself
Thinking of you and saying your name
I call just to say hello
Phone in your hand you’re doing the same
Hearing your voice I can see your smile
Yeah,(Yes) I believe I’ll be staying awhile

Instrumental

You fill my nights with so much love (You'd fill my nights with magic)
Reach across the bed you turn to me (And promise not to leave)
You wrap yourself around me so tight (I'd watch you fall asleep)
Hands on my face kiss me till I can’t breathe (And listen to you breathe)
One time you made me cry (Those times you found me crying)
As you kissed the tears away (You'd kiss my tears away)
You said I’d never have to worry (Your arms would gently hold me)
You’d never leave or never want to stray (Make everything okay)

Yeah, Baby….You’ve Still Got It (And Darling....I still love you)

Sometimes I’ll catch myself
Thinking of you and saying your name
I call just to say hello
Phone in your hand you’re doing the same
Hearing your voice I can see your smile
Yeah,(Yes)I believe I’ll be staying awhile

Cuz, Baby…You’ve Still Got It

Yeah, Baby….You’ve Still Got It

You’ve Still Got It

These are just some ideas/soft suggestions/ to keep or sweep to tighten up the meter so that verse 1 and 2 will fit meterwise with verse 3 and 4.

Best,
Lynn smile



My Music at Soundclick
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=788266

~call it a blessing or call it a curse, but I see all of life in verse~

Always open to collaborations smile

God Bless Our Military!!!
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glynda Offline OP
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Thanks Lynn...yes, I'll try and use these...wanted to try something else anyway....the reason I used Baby You've Still Got It is because my husband that died in 1995 at age 38 would always pull me close and kiss me till I couldn't breathe then he'd laugh and say...yeah I've still Got It....

But I do believe after I re-sing this, this way...I know I'll like it better....

Thanks for your suggestions and do believe I will use them....


glyn

Last edited by glynda; 06/25/12 02:08 AM.
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glynda Offline OP
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This is what I sent John, I did this music on Jamstudio...and is the same all the way through...I don't know enough yet of how to change the music for chorus, etc....

I asked John if he could make me a piano track so I could sing this song to leave for my children....

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10907646

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Oh I'm soooo sorry I didn't know you lost a spouse and so young. You've been through so much Glyn but you are a trooper and we all admire your strength. Of course feel free to use as much or as little of my suggestions as it is your song and I don't want to change it's original meaning if it is personal.

Are you saying you wrote the entire melody or was it a joint effort????


My Music at Soundclick
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=788266

~call it a blessing or call it a curse, but I see all of life in verse~

Always open to collaborations smile

God Bless Our Military!!!
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glynda Offline OP
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Do You mean the way I'm singing It??? I did that...

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glynda Offline OP
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John did the piano track off of what I had done but he had to actually redo the whole thing to make the track what it is....I had only used 4 chords and it sounded the same all the way through...So John did it....I guess..lol

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glynda Offline OP
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So I guess it was a joint effort...

But I really think John should get the credit...I love this piano track he did for me....he's so great and wonderful...

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Originally Posted by glynda
So I guess it was a joint effort...

But I really think John should get the credit...I love this piano track he did for me....he's so great and wonderful...


No Glyn, it's 100% your song. I used the same four chords as in your demo. 100% Glyn's melody.

Best, John smile

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glynda Offline OP
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See....Isn't John wonderful.....................

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glynda Offline OP
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Thanks Dottie....you know I can hear myself but STILL like to try and sing a few of my songs....

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glynda Offline OP
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Hi Neil....

Gotta try and get a better mic and pop filter later today and see what happens....and I'm gonna try some different words and lines also....thanks for checking this out for me..

glyn

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glynda Offline OP
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Hi Danny...

You're tooooo kind to me..but I thank you for you sweet words...

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glynda Offline OP
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Scott..

Thank you , I really enjoyed writing this one and John finished it off for me with this beautiful track....needs a better singer to go with his music....

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glynda Offline OP
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Hey Mojo...

I so excited you enjoyed this one.....

makes me happy..............

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glynda Offline OP
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Hi Scotty....yep gotta fix that popping....lol

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glynda Offline OP
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I'm working a revised recording...tks

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Just listened Glyn. Boy, you have a great country music vocal. I've heard you sing before, but this one reminds me of a cross between Kitty Wells and Loretta Lynn. You were on key and sounding good.

Learn the guitar now , and you can do your own demo's.

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glynda Offline OP
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Well thank you, ben willis...this surely makes me smile....

And my guitar teacher still needs to work with me...

glyn

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glynda Offline OP
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Butttt then again...John's playing makes me sound good too....loving this song....

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Thanks Glynda.

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glynda Offline OP
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Luv you ben willis

glyn

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glynda Offline OP
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Been a little under the weather...will try soon and re-write the lyrics some and re-record...thanks glyn

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Glynda, such a sweet song. Your children will cherish having your voice, there is no doubt. You have a very sweet tone to your voice as well. Lynn had some good constructive C that I agreed with. Only if you are thinking of maybe re-doing any parts of the song, which you may or may not want to do, I might look at not holding the "ee" sound in "baby" so long by holding the long "a" sound and experiment with perhaps adding another sylable or two in "baby." ex: "Ba--a--a-aby" Not sure, it might be just fine how you are doing it. You could also keep it as you are but hold the long "a" sound until the you reach the last note of the word and compare. I know with "stage singing" they teach not holding the last vowel if its a ee or short i sound. Anyway you have a very lovely and meaningful song! Good luck with it.

eswartz - steady eddie

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Im impressed Glyn

Good vocals good lyric and very cool melody!!

Cheers
Paul


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The piano player could use a lesson or two!!

Cheers
Paul


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Glyn
I was looking through the MP3's for something to listen to and this Hook pulled me right in.
You have done a marvelous job on this song. The melody is awesome. There's a few spots where you might want to change the way you sing it. Like a minor change on BABY as has been suggested. Think REBA. And put a little more punch on YOU STILL GOT IT.
As for the lyric? Meter in the second verse is an issue. But I wouldn't change the meaning of the lines you have. They are wonderful conversational language. I'll offer a few little ideas below and remember they are only my thoughts.
This is a beautiful song and I would not change much. Sometimes we writers get redundant in our lines and that loosens them up. keep it tight.

The one big nit is I don't hear any change between the verses and chorus. But the song is so pretty I didn't seem to mind.

The POPPING is singing and micing technique, Plus a POP SCREEN will help a lot. If you have a pair of old NYLONS handy take a wire clothes hanger and form a circle about 8 inches diameter and put the Nylon on it. Try adding layers of Nylon until you get the POPS reduced without muting the vocal. place it about an inch from the mic. Also try pulling back just a bit when you hit those hard consonants that are popping. It will take some practice.



Originally Posted by glynda
Ok you all know I Can NOT sing..but...with my health issues as they are....I want to sing a couple of my songs to leave for my children so they can hear me IF they ever want to...to kinda see how I hear the songs I write...

Now you can crit, nit, pick my singing apart, won't hurt me, but this is only for me to leave for my children

John Lawrence Schick was so wonderful to do this piano track...I'll also have Heather to do it with John's Piano...

Thank you John so much for this...you are a wonderful man....

glyn

One thing I'd like to know how do I get rid of the popping. I recorded this about 10 times....

thanks for all your help on all my songs....glyn

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11725047

You’ve Still Got It

When you kiss me that way
I go weak in the knees
Pull me close to your chest
I whisper, kiss me again please

No matter how old we get
You get better each year
Love the silver in your hair
Oh its perfectly clear

Baby…………….You’ve Still To It

Sometimes I’ll catch myself
Thinking of you and saying your name
I call just to say hello
Phone in your hand you’re doing the same
Hearing your voice I can see your smile
Yeah, I believe I’ll be staying awhile

Instrumental

You fill my nights with love
In bed you turn to me
Wrap around me so tight
Kiss me till I can’t breathe

One time you made me cry
As you kissed my tears away
Said don't you ever worry
I'll never want to stray


Yeah, Baby….You’ve Still Got It

Sometimes I’ll catch myself
Thinking of you and saying your name
I call just to say hello
Phone in your hand you’re doing the same
Hearing your voice I can see your smile
Yeah, I belivev I’ll be staying awhile

Cuz, Baby…You’ve Still Got It

Yeah, Baby….You’ve Still Got It

You’ve Still Got It

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNN



Last edited by Bill Robinson; 07/14/12 03:45 PM.

Bill
http://www.soundclick.com/billrobinson
http://www.dreamqueststudio.com
Skype; bill.robinson12

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." --Thomas Jefferson didn't say it

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Could only listen to half the track Glyn it's just so emotional. I've bookmarked it for another day.

If you fancy it send me the vocal and the piano tracks and I'll mix it for ya. No charge. As I would love to hear a little reverb on your vocal just to make it blend a bit better.

Very sad but very very good :-)



Work for hire Producer. I will also produce and master any old/new work tapes up to demo standards. :-)
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glynda Offline OP
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eswartz...

Not seen you here before...so first I'd love to welcome you to JPF's...so happy to have you here with us...

Thanks for liking my lil' song here....and I do need to try and do it better....just have to wait until I have a good day, breathing, not hurting...and sit up at computer long enough to sing it through...but do want it to be the best it can be....I appreciate it so much you listening and checking this out for me..

glyn

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glynda Offline OP
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Hey Pauly...

Your comments made my day...needed this...and thank you...you're the best....

glyn

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Bill,

Yep, I'm working on getting that popping out and listening and watching groups etc. sing....do want this one to be better even though I'm leaving it for my kids in case one day they may want to hear my voice...really not much chance in that...but they may want to..I know I'd love to hear my mom's voice everyday...

Thanks for listening to me....that alone takes a lot...lol

glyn

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glynda Offline OP
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Hi Andy...

Thank you for listening....and I've sent you an PM...hope what I sen, you can work with....

thanks glyn

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glynda Offline OP
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ok, fixed a filter, now working on the lyrics and will re-sing in a few days, once my breathing is better...

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Cool Glyn. I didn't get any PM the other day so whenever you're ready send me over the new vocal and the piano tracks and I work some magic on there for ya :-)

Andy



Work for hire Producer. I will also produce and master any old/new work tapes up to demo standards. :-)
Just PM or email:

Email -- mork1976@gmail.com

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Ok thanks Andy, give me a day or two to re-do it...

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Speaking for all the old farts with that silver in thier hair I must say thanks Mrs Ma'am. I know I'd love to hear this again one day. Thank you so much !!

Last edited by Darrell Lee; 07/19/12 08:23 PM.
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Darrell Lee....thank you sir...and I'm working on it now....re-doing some of the lyrics and phrasing and singing certain parts.....thanks...

Happy you liked it....and hey this is for you also...all those men out there that make us women look back and say ...oh yeah, He's Still Got It....

glyn

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Just beautiful Glynda.
Heartfelt lyrics and classic vocal performance.

Outstanding piano track by John.
The perfect foundation to support your performance.

Well Done

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Thanks Nelson,



You always know the perfect words to make me gleem and feel so good inside....thank you from the bottom of my heart...hope to have the new version ready soon and send it to Andy for his magic...I'm so excited that someone wanted to take one of my vocals and work with it.....;) wink

glyn

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Just in from Andy Kemp....Wow, I'm still crying...love how he's made me sound....

thank you Andy from the bottom of my heart...this is so wonderful....

https://www.box.com/s/29e59165223b827d256b

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It was my pleasure Glyn. From the first time I heard the original I knew I had to work with you guys on it. John wrote a beautiful peace and I just tried to follow the mood and not screw it up.
So glad you liked what I did.



Work for hire Producer. I will also produce and master any old/new work tapes up to demo standards. :-)
Just PM or email:

Email -- mork1976@gmail.com

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Thanks Andy...I'm loving it....still listening...


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