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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/05/24 01:49 PM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,172
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Hi Folks,
It's been a long time since I've posted on here. I've just been watching from the wings. To make a long story short, I couldn't write for a long time, then poof it turned back on.
So, here is something new I've written, no music as I still just stare at my guitar and don't play it....:)
I’M GONNA MISS YOU WHEN YOU’RE GONE © Bampfield
V1 You have football player shoulders That take command of a room When you walk in and it’s just like you to kiss me Before you walk out the door With soft stubble on your chin
But this time you can’t fix What you’re trying to fix With those lips
CH I’m gonna miss you When you’re gone You won’t be here To kiss anytime I want The nights will be cold The days will be long I’m gonna miss you When you’re gone
V2 I know my life won’t be the same You’re the one that says we need change Life isn’t fair When all I really want Is for you to turn around and stay Then I’d kiss you
But this time I can’t fix What I want to fix With these lips
I’m gonna miss you When you’re gone You won’t be here To kiss anytime I want The nights will be cold The days will be long I’m gonna miss you When you’re gone
I can’t fix What I want to fix With these lips
I’m gonna miss you When you’re gone I’m gonna miss you When you’re gone
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,411
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Hey Kathy A nice lyric,simple enough in it's construction but well written.
Peace and Love Joe
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
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Kathy, That's how writing is. It comes and goes. I like your title and straight-forward chorus. Simple and to the point. Jim Colyer
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 255
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 255 |
Hi Kathy,
Thanks for sharing this. I really enjoyed the simplicity. Hope you are able to continue to write!
Jason
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,264 Likes: 4
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Hi Kathy I'd really like to know what happened to break these guys up in the first place? I think this is what could be missing from the story. What is he trying to fix? Has he been cheating maybe? Just a couple of thoughts. Regards Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,172
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I think it could use a bridge to tie it up better.
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067
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Top 200 Poster
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Hey Kathy, I think your verses need more specifics. Write your title at the top of a page, then make a long list of specific/mental image reasons "WHY" you're going to miss him when he's gone; you may not use them all, but you can't have too many when you brainstorm.
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
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