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#961289 - 05/25/12 05:56 PM Someday You'll See Feedback please.  
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 29
buddyivory Offline
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buddyivory  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 29
Jessup

Last edited by buddyivory; 05/25/12 06:13 PM.

Buddy Ivory
#961291 - 05/25/12 06:10 PM Re: Someday You'll See Feedback please. [Re: buddyivory]  
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 994
David Gill Offline
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David Gill  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 994
Buffalo, NY
Hiya Buddy,

Welcome to JPF! I'll play the song later when I get out of work. In the meantime, could you provide the lyrics in this thread too? I like to read the words as I listen. (I think others do too, but I could be wrong).

I look forward to hearing ya!

Peace,

Dave


"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
#961293 - 05/25/12 06:16 PM Re: Someday You'll See Feedback please. [Re: buddyivory]  
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 29
buddyivory Offline
Casual Observer
buddyivory  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 29
Jessup
Someday Youíll See

When I look into your eyes something there just shakes the floor
I am yours you are mine least thatís the way it was before
You took my heart and left me here and found yourself another guy
All I do is sit around thinking asking wonder why

Someday youíll see girl how you treated me. Youíll
think back and wonder why you set me free.

Now youíre back and youíve forgotten I have found somebody new I donít want you hanging round I donít need the likes of you Coming home late at night, I see you sneaking round my door. I donít want you coming round donít need that kind of love not more.
SomedayÖ

Rap 1 I was thinking bout days gone by used to carry
your books to school. Now you acting so high class and you treat me like a fool.
Iíve seen you sittin in the back of the class cutting up with all your friends I Ďve had it with you you can see that Iím through I donít want to see you again

I remember when I was young and my daddy used to say to me. Watch out now boy for girls with games and those that like to tease. Then you came along and acted so strong I thought that you would do me right. But how I was fooled you took me to school and now I want you out of my life.

Someday youíll see girl how you treated me. Youíll
think back and wonder why you set me free.



Buddy Ivory
#961855 - 05/29/12 11:27 PM Re: Someday You'll See Feedback please. [Re: buddyivory]  
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 77
AnthonyCeseri Offline
Serious Contributor
AnthonyCeseri  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2012
Posts: 77
Hey Buddy - I think you could benefit from some development in the melody in the verses. You basically have the same melody repeating over and over again there.

There are some timing issues as well - it's okay, if it's just a rough demo but otherwise you'll want to make sure the band is super tight.

Cool stuff tho - keep rockin!

#961864 - 05/30/12 12:43 AM Re: Someday You'll See Feedback please. [Re: AnthonyCeseri]  
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 46
garner Offline
Serious Contributor
garner  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 46
Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA
Hi Buddy ... i like the feel of the song ... it's interesting because the chorus is a lot more smooth and mellow than the music ... which seems a little more rock/funk ...

also ... it was difficult to hear some parts of the rap ... the vocal there was a little low and the music drowned it out ...

i liked this though ... easy to dance and sing along with this one!


garner

singer/songwriter
e-mail: garnersongs@gmail.com
music: http://www.reverbnation.com/garnersongs
#961965 - 05/30/12 11:54 PM Re: Someday You'll See Feedback please. [Re: garner]  
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 29
buddyivory Offline
Casual Observer
buddyivory  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 29
Jessup
Thank you I agree the rap should have been brought up.



Buddy Ivory

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