|
5 members (texritter, Fdemetrio, Guy E. Trepanier, Everett Adams, 1 invisible),
31,182
guests, and
5,980
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
I was born and spent many early years in a coal mining town. Both my grandfathers had worked in the mine and eventually died, partly as a result of it. There was a major disaster close by in 1966 where 144 people, 116 of them children, were killed when a slagheap collapsed after heavy rain. Despite the harshness of the life it had its beauty too. As kids we used to play on the hills and in the streams around it. One stream entered a long tunnel through a small hill. We would place a stick in the water and then run as fast as we could round to see if we could catch it coming out the other side. My uncle showed me a spring coming, as if by magic from a rock, which we could drink from. I used to walk up to the top of a small mountain and look down at the town. In the sunshine it was a golden colour like honey and looked much cleaner from up there. This is a new version of a song I first wrote two years ago. There may be too much going on instrument wise. Let me know what you think if you'd be so kind. Thankyou, Vic This is a low quality mp3. http://sclk.co/s6ueyyMountain River Mine © Vic Arnold 2010 On the mountain, the beautiful mountain Looking down on a honey town Where we drink from the crystal fountain On it's way to the river in the ground And on the river, the beautiful river Where the children skim their stones On sparkling water that flashes silver 'Til the women call them home Ch. And we lived here down through the ages And we loved here in those times Where we tended to our babies All in the bosom of the mine Instrumental In the valley, the beautiful valley There's a darkness coming from the hill People crying, there are many Blackened bodies lying still Ch. And we lived here down through the ages And we loved here in those times Where we tended to our babies All in the bosom of the mine Repeat last line Play out
Last edited by Vicarn; 03/12/12 04:36 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Top 50 Poster
|
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210 |
I was born and spent many early years in a coal mining town. Both my grandfathers had worked in the mine and eventually died, partly as a result of it. There was a major disaster close by in 1966 where 144 people were killed when a slagheap collapsed after heavy rain. Despite the harshness of the life it had its beauty too. As kids we used to play on the hills and in the streams around it. My uncle showed me a spring from which we could drink. I used to walk up to the top of a small mountain and look down at the town. In the sunshine it was a golden colour like honey and looked much cleaner from up there. This is a new version of a song I first wrote two years ago. There may be too much going on instrument wise. Let me know what you think if you'd be so kind. Thankyou, Vic This is a low quality mp3. http://sclk.co/s6ueyyMountain River Mine © Vic Arnold 2010 On the mountain, the beautiful mountain Looking down on a honey town Where we drink from the crystal fountain On it's way to the river in the ground And on the river, the beautiful river Where the children skim their stones On sparkling water that flashes silver 'Til the women call them home Ch. And we lived here down through the ages And we loved here in those times Where we tendered to our babies All in the bosom of the mine Instrumental In the valley, the beautiful valley There's a darkness coming from the hill People crying, there are many Blackened bodies lying still Ch. And we lived here down through the ages ---PERHAPS on this chorus to change it a tiny bit to go with story, you could say...BUT we've lived here down through the ages..the reason is, you made it seem polyanna place in first part of the song but in the last verse, the tragedy...so perhaps on this chorus to counteract the sadness, say BUT we've lived here..to kinda say, we are staying here, though there is heartbreak, because it is our way of life and we are used to these things..just an idea.. And we loved here in those times Where we tendered to our babies All in the bosom of the mine Repeat last line Play out If it were mine, which is it not, but a suggestion would be to name it Bosom of the mine.  This is really beautiful. It is not a current sound for country music but it is good nonetheless, and would work well for bluegrass or traditional music. I feel the drum is taking away from the mountain sound. I feel perhaps a harmonica or even just a lite tab on the guitar for a small beat would work well.. very very nice Vic!!! Kimberly
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581
Top 50 Poster
|
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581 |
Hey Vic,
This is really good stuff. Very picturesque imagery painted in the story. Very nice indeed. The instrumentation isn't cluttered at all to my ears.
Stevie
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Kim, thank you for those suggestions.
There's always have a problem for me knowing what label to attach to a song, whether it's "folk", "pop" or "country".
Then whether it's "country pop" or "alternative folk". Somebody ought to write a definative guide book. I'd buy it for sure.
I did name it "The bosom of the mine" at first.
Interesting about the drums too as the earlier version had very muted percussion. Now I'm confused.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,704
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,704 |
I was born and spent many early years in a coal mining town. Both my grandfathers had worked in the mine and eventually died, partly as a result of it. There was a major disaster close by in 1966 where 144 people, 116 of them children, were killed when a slagheap collapsed after heavy rain. Despite the harshness of the life it had its beauty too. As kids we used to play on the hills and in the streams around it. One stream entered a long tunnel through a small hill. We would place a stick in the water and then run as fast as we could round to see if we could catch it coming out the other side. My uncle showed me a spring coming, as if by magic from a rock, which we could drink from. I used to walk up to the top of a small mountain and look down at the town. In the sunshine it was a golden colour like honey and looked much cleaner from up there. This is a new version of a song I first wrote two years ago. There may be too much going on instrument wise. Let me know what you think if you'd be so kind. Thankyou, Vic This is a low quality mp3. http://sclk.co/s6ueyyMountain River Mine © Vic Arnold 2010 On the mountain, the beautiful mountain Looking down on a honey town Where we drink from the crystal fountain On it's way to the river in the ground And on the river, the beautiful river Where the children skim their stones On sparkling water that flashes silver 'Til the women call them home Ch. And we lived here down through the ages And we loved here in those times Where we tendered to our babies All in the bosom of the mine Instrumental In the valley, the beautiful valley There's a darkness coming from the hill People crying, there are many Blackened bodies lying still Ch. And we lived here down through the ages And we loved here in those times Where we tendered to our babies All in the bosom of the mine Repeat last line Play out Vic, I love it. There's a very Johnny Cash-type feel to it. A more contemporary artist who sounds like like this is Tom Russell. If you're not familiar with him, you should check him out. The drums are a little bit loud (or maybe just a little too mid-rangy) for my taste. Any number of backing instruments could work on this song...acoustic guitars, cello, B3, accordion, fiddle, mandolin. Check out "Homestead Steel" by The Tom Russell Band for a production style that I think would work great for this song. The current title doesn't grab me at all. I stopped in because I have heard enough of your work to make me want to check it out. I think "Bosom Of The Mine" is the way to go. I also didn't read any of your intro. I figured that the song would either work on its own or not. Kurt
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Thanks Stevie.
That's encouraging.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427 |
Hi Vic, This is very pretty. I also love the images they really set the scene. I have a couple of suggestions kos of course.  And on the river, the beautiful river Where the children skim their stones On sparkling water that flashes silver 'Til the women their mothers call them home And we lived here down through the ages And we loved here in those through tough times Where we tend ered to our babies I'm not sure about this line maybe something like 'we shared our tears and laughter" or something that would set it up a little better for the last verse since it's all been good up to this point.All in the bosom of the mine It's a beautiful song. Dottie
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Hey I thought the man in black was gone. Man sounds like Johnny Cash is back. Title change to, "Bosom on Mine" suggested Kimberly is spot on. But man I love the song. I think to contrast of styles between the drums and the rest of the music give it a uniqueness all it's own. I wouldn't change a thing but the title, of course.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,688 Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
|
|
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,688 Likes: 1 |
Love this, very beautiful Vic...yep, Johnny is back....great write also..and I wouldn't change a thing...great...
glyn
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Thanks Kurt.
I followed the link to Tom Russell and I'm glad I did.
Looks like it's back to "Bosom of the mine".
Vic
Hi Dottie.
They use the term "women" a lot in that area.
Ooops! And, actually, I just realised it should have been "tended" not "tendered".
Thank you for the suggs.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,236 Likes: 4
Top 200 Poster
|
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,236 Likes: 4 |
Last year on the Muse board, they had a collab contest and a couple of folks wrote a song called Aberfan, about a mining disaster in Wales. Could that be the same event? It's a very good song. Let me know if you would like to hear it and I can PM you the link.
I think this is a very nice one. I'm a huge Tom Russell fan but I'm not hearing this in his style. I like what you have, but maybe the drums are not quite working. It would be cool to hear a more traditional sound with this. I could hear a more bluegrassy sounding version with mando, violin, and acoustic guitar.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Thanks for the kind comments Nelson.
It seems some like the drum thing and some want more of a bluegrass sound.
I lean slightly more toward the contrast, like you at the moment, but I may be persuaded otherwise.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Hi Glyn!
You say the nicest things.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Wendy,
My hat's off to you. It was Aberfan.
Just a couple of miles from where I was born.
Yes please, I would like the link.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
Top 10 Poster
|
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8 |
Hi Vic, I remember this terrible disaster well.Good luck with this one, just a suggestion or two;
In the valley, the beautiful valley
Came a darkness sent straight from hell
mother's cried for their children
Never more to hear the old school bell.
John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 201
Serious Contributor
|
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 201 |
Cool song Vic, personally I would go Bluegrass with this using some mando and dobro. One idea would be to do a faster tempo on the music and the vox at half speed.
Good work,
Rob
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Calvin,
I'm happy to know that I helped to soothe you.
Unicorns watch out.
Thanks for that.
Vic
Last edited by Vicarn; 03/12/12 04:41 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Hi there, Travis.
Interesting suggestion there but, if you remember, the "darkness" came from the "hill" of slag which slid down onto the town.
I didn't want to draw too much attention to that particular disaster though as there were many others in the area's history.
Thanks for taking the time to listen.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 487
Top 500 Poster
|
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 487 |
Classic Vic. Drums sat fine for me in the mix. Love the vibe of it. I gave up long ago classifying genres/songs. Who cares? A good song is a good song.
Zeek
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Hi Rob,
That sounds like it might work. I was thinking more of the gentler Peter,Paul and Mary "Blowing in the Wind" style but yes, maybe so.
Thank you for the idea.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,943 Likes: 3
Top 10 Poster
|
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,943 Likes: 3 |
I like bluegrass -- as long as there are drums in it (ha, ha). The drums sound fine to me. Very good back story and the song seems to be working well for me.
Good one, Vic -- as always. Yea, I'd re-title it. Is that you doing the high harmony? Sounds good.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
|
|
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1 |
VIC--
THIS SONG IS ONE OF YOUR BEST--IT HAS A STORY I CAN SEE WITH MY EYES CLOSED.
THIS ONE: YOU PROBABLY NEED TO PUT IN YOUR ALBUM!
IT'S GREAT!
WRITE ON--
Mackie
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Zeek,
I did miss the nylon strings on this one.
Thanks for commenting.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Hi Kevin.
Yes, that's me standing on tiptoe on the high notes.
I love bluegrass, especially with drums. :-)
Thanks for the support.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
Top 10 Poster
|
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8 |
Pleased this one is doing well for you on the forum Vic, are you taking it it further, adding more instruments etc?
John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 161
Serious Contributor
|
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 161 |
Vic,
I really enjoyed this. It has a classic feel about it. I can't help wondering what it would be like if it was sung by a Welsh Male Voice Choir. Could be a real tearjerker. I remember all the images of Aberfan when I was growing up in the UK. Very sad.
Well written lyrics too, nicely done. I'm a fan of fewer, well chosen words, rather than unforgettable verbosity. More songs like this would be great.
Andy
If at first you don't succeed, try the 'ON' switch!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Mackie,
Glad you like this one. If I ever get round to an album this will be on it for sure.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Travis, thanks.
I may just do that.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Hi, adf. I have been called a man of few words before. But I think you're right to believe that. A Welsh male voice choir sounds a great idea. I wonder if I can multitrack that many.  Thanks for the support and the idea. Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,653
Top 200 Poster
|
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,653 |
Hey there Vic. Definitely have that Johnny cash feel. Nice pictures you painted there. Maybe take the chorus up a notch as it blended too much with the verses. Just my thoughts!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,455 Likes: 41
Top 200 Poster
|
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,455 Likes: 41 |
Hey there Vic....So, Johnny Cash lives!!
Great song.....a very ,very nice listen.
Thanks for sharing........ -Tom
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Iggy, thanks for the comments.
I've been wondering about the chorus myself.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1
Top 30 Poster
|
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1 |
Very nice Vic. I would not change much. The treatment, tempo, rhythm, melody, all suit the lyrics very well. I like the lead guitar fills and solo. Not crazy about the drums. Vocal is excellent.
Some people would say that it takes too long to reach the chorus (1:30). You could stick another chorus between V1 and V2 but then the song gets a bit long.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Cognac,
Thank you for the support.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Colin.
What would you change about the drums?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1
Top 30 Poster
|
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1 |
I'll crank up the good speakers later and have a close listen and get back....
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1
Top 30 Poster
|
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1 |
OK - drums..... I would eliminate the opening and closing high hat on the fourth beat. The brushes sound OK but I also would try a stick hit and a gentle cross stick on the backbeat (2 and 4) for comparison. I can't pick out the kick drum - maybe it is perfectly in time with the bass. I would probably bring it up a bit. The cymbal crash on the ride cymbal could stand a bit of reverb. No major changes except losing that high hat!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,910
Serious Contributor
|
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,910 |
I like this song very much. I like the drums as is myself ..
nice job
Dan
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,910
Serious Contributor
|
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,910 |
I like this song very much. I like the drums as is myself ..
nice job
Dan
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082 Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
|
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082 Likes: 1 |
This is great, Vic. Such a great feel to the music. And having lines like these:
On the mountain, the beautiful mountain
almost give it a gospel feel - which works well for the song.
That third verse really comes out of the blue - I was listening without reading. And then the way it goes back into the chorus gives it a sense that the folks take the bad with the good - that they will deal with it. Very powerful.
Scott
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Thanks for taking all that time Colin. Much appreciated.
I think I get what you mean about the high hat.
At the end of the fourth beat there is also a brush flam,
which may be confusing things. There is quite a hefty kick in there too which is matched by the bass timewise. I did originally have a crossstick but it didn't sound right to me. I'll have another play around with it
Thanks again,
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Thanks Dan. Not too sure about it now but I may alter slightly.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Hi Scott.
You got it in a nutshell. Two sisters Beauty and Ugliness living together.
Thanks for listening.
Vic
|
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
|
Forums118
Topics128,675
Posts1,184,413
Members21,478
| |
Most Online148,207
May 25th, 2026
|
|
|
"If someone is truly a jerk, or truly is not deserving of any positive reply from you, polite indifference is the best response you can give. Do not insult. Do not slam. Do not follow the urge to be nasty. Simply be politely indifferent." –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|
