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#927097 - 10/08/11 10:26 PM “While My Tears Turn Into Rain”  
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IronKnee Offline
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IronKnee  Offline
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Hi all...no bells or whistles...but let me know what you think of my song!! Thanks! -Tom

“While My Tears Turn Into Rain”
By Tom Tognaci

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11118509

The trouble with you is the trouble with me
When we can’t see eye to eye
My problem with you is your problem with me
As you laugh at the tears I cry

Call me crazy, I call you vain
When the world we know is to blame
I’m not crying, I’m only praying
For the world to feel my pain…
…While my tears turn into rain

A long time ago on a beach far away
I fell for love and a face
But oceans of time have washed all that away
And has put us in this place

Call me crazy, I call you vain
When the world we know is to blame
I’m not crying, I’m only praying
For the world to feel my pain…
…While my tears turn into rain

~ Inst. ~

Call me crazy, I call you vain
When the world we know is to blame
I’m not crying, I’m only praying
For the world to feel my pain…
…While my tears turn into rain


#927111 - 10/09/11 12:00 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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Mackie H. Offline
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Tom--

This one has a good feel to the Music--has a "GREENSLEEVES" IN 4/4 TIME--I'VE ALWAYS LIKED THE MUSIC TO THAT 1500 ENGLISH CAROL--

THE ONLY THING I WOULD CHANGE, would be the guitar on a preamp to clear up the low notes--most of the time, I play acoustic, with capo, to get the notes equal to the vox--I think that improves the sound--BUT PERSONALLY, I struggle with everyone I lay down--I can dress them a little in GARAGEBAND.

Good luck with this one--

Mackie

#927112 - 10/09/11 12:10 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Mackie H.]  
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A very pleasing and memorable melody. Agree with Mackie on the Greensleeves feel. Like the lyrics. Respectable folksy production.

John smile

#927148 - 10/09/11 05:18 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: John Lawrence Schick]  
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-Hey there Mackie......thanks for the comments. This was done with just me and my guitar to qualify for a 1+1 little contest. I wrote the song for this contest, but alas, there are some very good songs I'm going up against! Thanks again.... -Tom


-Thanks John for listening. Your comments are appreciated! -Tom

#927156 - 10/09/11 05:47 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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Tom,
I enjoyed this. Tweaks below, keep or sweep smile

When Place the world we know is to at blame
I’m not crying, I’m only praying
For the world to feel understand my pain…

I fell lost my heart for to love and a face
But oceans of time have washed all that away
And has put delivered us in to this place






“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard

Co-writing = Compromise!


#927210 - 10/09/11 01:57 PM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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Rob T Offline
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Ya got a good song there Tom. Good feel, you could play with some of the lyrics as was mentioned earlier, but overall this would really sound good with a full band demo. It's begging for a cello if nothing else.

Rob

#927325 - 10/10/11 01:52 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Rob T]  
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niteshift Online content
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Fiji
Hey Tom,

A very listenable tune you've got there. The hook and melody line are especially memorable. I could see this song being done a number of different ways from hard rock to a more gentle modern pop style.... and of course just left as is.

Nice work.

cheers, niteshift

#927339 - 10/10/11 03:44 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: niteshift]  
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IronKnee Offline
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-Hey there Shayne....thanks for the comments and help!!

-Hey there Rob....thanks for listening, and I agree with the Cello..I've got some plans with this, yet I don't have a cello (or facsimle).

Thanks Nightshift...this is my 1st version, and i do have plans to produce this further. I'm nugging my wife into singing this for me. -Tom

Thanks again!

#927346 - 10/10/11 04:44 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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Two Singers Offline
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Tom...

What a cool tune! And that ain't bad whistling, either. Gentle, soothing and just all around a sweet listen! We agree with Shane's suggestion on "Place the world we know at blame".

Sounds super! All the best...

Alan & Di

#927441 - 10/10/11 06:21 PM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Two Singers]  
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Hey there Al...thanks so much for listening and commenting!
-Tom

#927456 - 10/10/11 07:31 PM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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Nice sounding 1+1 tune. Good luck on that contest. 1+1 is always tough, but you did well. I would go back and fill it out a little more with other stuff as it moves along when the contest is over.


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)
#927486 - 10/10/11 11:38 PM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
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Hey, Tom!
I love this tune, it's wonderful! Sounding kind of Celtic in a way, really great!

#927508 - 10/11/11 12:37 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: vlado]  
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Dug it, Dug the whistlin too..The basic tune is certainly easily expanded. I for one appreciate the raw singlness of just the vocal and guitar, especially on songs like this. Super nice Tom !!

#927511 - 10/11/11 12:55 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Darrell Lee]  
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Scott Campbell Online content
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Very nice, Tom!

I like it stripped down like this - and the whistling section is great! Very haunting there.

Scott

#927525 - 10/11/11 01:31 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Scott Campbell]  
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Kevin Miller Offline
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Hey Tom. You are a very good lyricist. I checked out your soundclick, and kind of got lost. You have written some great songs, and all the lyrics I read seemed to have a very natural and honest feel to them. Then I forgot what I came for... checking out this new song of yours. Very nice. Like Scott said, the whistling park is cool.

Great work.

#927537 - 10/11/11 02:14 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: vlado]  
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-Hey there Kevin...thanks for your comments. I am going to do a 2nd version, w/ my wife singing. I'm going to keep it intimate, but I do have some ideas for this song. Thanks again -Tom

- And thank you, too, swrbassamp for the nice comments! -Tom

#927539 - 10/11/11 02:20 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Scott Campbell]  
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IronKnee Offline
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-Thanks Darrell for the nice comments!

-And much thanks to you too Scott!

The whistle was just a little break and filler, but i think I'm going to work it in the 2nd version. Thanks guys!!
-Tom

#927540 - 10/11/11 02:22 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Kevin Miller]  
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IronKnee Offline
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Originally Posted by Kevin Miller
Hey Tom. You are a very good lyricist. I checked out your soundclick, and kind of got lost. You have written some great songs, and all the lyrics I read seemed to have a very natural and honest feel to them. Then I forgot what I came for... checking out this new song of yours. Very nice. Like Scott said, the whistling park is cool.

Great work.


Thanks Kevin for the very generous words of encourgement. I'm very happy you like it. Thanks again. -Tom

#927557 - 10/11/11 07:09 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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glynda Offline
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WOW, just so beautiful and lovely...great song..love it...glyn

#927564 - 10/11/11 08:29 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: glynda]  
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Hi Tom,

WAY COOL
Your performance was very entertaining.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#927598 - 10/11/11 01:23 PM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Calvin]  
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IronKnee Offline
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-Thanks Glynda for stopping by!!

-And thank you, too, Calvin for your comment!!

-Tom

#927609 - 10/11/11 01:39 PM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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Tom,

Great lyric and melody! Love how you performed it!

This is perfect for the 1+1, just remember, some of us don't have any chance in that contest, at least you are in there, keep at it!! I'll cheer fr ya!!

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




#927723 - 10/12/11 12:06 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: TamsNumber4]  
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Thanks Tammy...........it's always uplifting to hear from you!!
Thanks again....... -Tom

#930395 - 10/29/11 12:58 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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Hi Tom,

I'm pulling this one back up because I had been meaning to do so since we discussed it on forum 3.

This is...very beautiful and touching. It makes me want to listen to it over and over...

Lisa


#930410 - 10/29/11 05:13 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Lisa Gundling]  
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Hey thank you Lisa....and Happy Halloween! -Tom

#934255 - 11/28/11 01:26 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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MFB III Online content
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hey Tom...nice job on this one...love the melody and the lyrics cover a topic we all can relate too. ~~~MFB III

#934258 - 11/28/11 01:34 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: MFB III]  
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So cool Tom!I'm going to be checkin' back to this one from time to time.

#934265 - 11/28/11 01:44 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Michael LeBlanc]  
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Wow folks, get this one on your i-pod like I did, it is amazing and makes for awesome driving, although I missed my lane change and I blamed it on Tom!!

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




#934310 - 11/28/11 05:09 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: TamsNumber4]  
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LOL.....thanks Tams....you really made my night!! -Tom

#934312 - 11/28/11 05:17 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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I really love this. One of the better things I've heard in a while. Great song and performance too. Very authentic and heartfelt.

#934319 - 11/28/11 07:13 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: DocHolladay]  
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Tom, I loved it from beginning to end! A true delight to listen to, & I just shared it on my FaceBook page so others can also enjoy iy! Well done, mate!


Hear my songs here by scrolling down the page & clicking on the song titles:

http://www.starnow.com.au/shayneedson

Find me on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/funfunfunyournight


#934320 - 11/28/11 07:13 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: aussieshayne1975]  
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*it


Hear my songs here by scrolling down the page & clicking on the song titles:

http://www.starnow.com.au/shayneedson

Find me on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/funfunfunyournight


#934380 - 11/28/11 03:22 PM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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Hi Tom,

I love this song and had to come listen again. I would have sworn I had commented on this wonderful song but I don't see it. Maybe it was on Muse, anyway it's quite beautiful. smile

Dottie

#934433 - 11/29/11 12:07 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Kevin Miller]  
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Pat Hardy Offline
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A very nice song, indeed. Thanks for sharing.

#934537 - 11/29/11 01:29 PM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Pat Hardy]  
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IronKnee Offline
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Thanks for listening Pathardy....and thanks for the comment!
Merry Christmas! -Tom

#934541 - 11/29/11 01:36 PM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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Originally Posted by Cognac
-Hey there Kevin...thanks for your comments. I am going to do a 2nd version, w/ my wife singing. I'm going to keep it intimate, but I do have some ideas for this song. Thanks again -Tom


Do you listen to the Civil Wars -- those guys know how to be intimate with one guitar and two voices: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGwnFz_5xRE


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
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#934695 - 11/30/11 02:46 PM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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Jen Shaner Offline
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Tom,

I enjoyed the simple, haunting melody and thought the vocals sounded very good! I grew up on folk and celtic music and this reminds me of many of those songs. Nicely done!


Jennifer (Jinx) Shaner
#934716 - 11/30/11 03:33 PM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Jen Shaner]  
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Cognac, I like the delicate guitar picking at the start. There's a lot of real emotion in the playing and the singing. The arrangement of the guitar and the voice puts me right in the front row at the coffee house. I really like this a lot. You got a great voice, lots of nuance in your phrasing. And the song is excellent. Great combination of lyric and melody. First class stuff. Keep up the good work!!!


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#934770 - 12/01/11 04:13 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: DocHolladay]  
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Originally Posted by DocHolladay
I really love this. One of the better things I've heard in a while. Great song and performance too. Very authentic and heartfelt.


Hey thanks Doc for the nice comment..and for listening! -Tom

#934771 - 12/01/11 04:14 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: aussieshayne1975]  
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Originally Posted by aussieshayne1975
Tom, I loved it from beginning to end! A true delight to listen to, & I just shared it on my FaceBook page so others can also enjoy iy! Well done, mate!


Hey aussieshayne1975........thanks a lot!! and thanks, as well, for the nice comment. -Tom

#934772 - 12/01/11 04:16 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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Hey there Dottie....you seem to have developed a habit of posting, only to forget where you've posted! Thanks again, and Merry Christms! -Tom

#934788 - 12/01/11 09:07 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
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Originally Posted by Kevin Emmrich
Originally Posted by Cognac
-Hey there Kevin...thanks for your comments. I am going to do a 2nd version, w/ my wife singing. I'm going to keep it intimate, but I do have some ideas for this song. Thanks again -Tom


Do you listen to the Civil Wars -- those guys know how to be intimate with one guitar and two voices: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGwnFz_5xRE


Hey...I like them Kevin! Thanks!! -Tom

#934789 - 12/01/11 09:09 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Jen Shaner]  
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Originally Posted by Jen Shaner
Tom,

I enjoyed the simple, haunting melody and thought the vocals sounded very good! I grew up on folk and celtic music and this reminds me of many of those songs. Nicely done!


Thanks Jen for the nice comments! -Tom

#934790 - 12/01/11 09:11 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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Thanks Dan for listening and commenting....and Merry Christmas! -Tom

#934797 - 12/01/11 09:38 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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Hi Tom

Very very pretty. I like your style it reminds me of the classic singer songwriter of the 70's. My favorite decade ever!

Love it just like this and could hear beautiful subtle orchestration going right along with it. Nice work, heart felt and sincere all the way.

All the best
Mike


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#934865 - 12/01/11 10:26 PM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Mike Caro Substudio]  
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Very cool. I love the stripped-down arrangement. I'm also a sucker for whistling. I think It might be more powerful with a man singing than a woman, because men aren't usually expected to be that vulnerable.
The trouble I have with this song is the opening line. I've heard "Casey Jones" too many times to not think about it.


I love words. They say so much.

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#934934 - 12/02/11 01:37 PM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Kurt Fortmeyer]  
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Hey thanks Mike....Although the the late '60s were fab....the sheer amount of brilliance that come out during the '70s makes it my favorite decade for music, as well.
Thanks for listening, and for the comments!
Merry Christmas.............-Tom

#934935 - 12/02/11 01:41 PM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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Hi Kurt...thanks for commenting....I want to make use of my wife's beautiful voice...But, we haven't been able to sit down together for this. It's real busy around here.
Have a Merry Christmas...... -Tom

#934945 - 12/02/11 02:47 PM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: IronKnee]  
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Good one here. I like the cello idea.
Vic


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#935022 - 12/03/11 01:27 AM Re: “While My Tears Turn Into Rain” [Re: Vicarn]  
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Yeah...the cello and violin would be a nice accompaniment...thanks Vic...,and Merry Christmas! -Tom


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