JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Hand Upon Your Shoulder - Colin - Full band version

Hi All,

Here is a new version of one of my FAWM songs that was previously posted as a rough draft. All comments and critiques are welcome. It can still be changed to some extent. I wrote the lyrics for a friend who needed a bit of support.

[color:#3333FF][u][size:11pt]Hand Upon Your Shoulder[/size][/u][/color]

Hi Colin, I like it and the message. I do wonder if the chorus may need a bit more of a punch or something. I am sure the note probably changes into the chorus, but it almost sounds similiar.
I think the hook is very good, and I think it is pretty close to being "there"
I hear a couple of places I might would cut out some words, but it may make you have to change the entire verses in length and I am sure you don't want to do that..but...

good stuff- Colin!

Kimberly

Thanks for listening Kim. You can let me know which words you find excess if you like and i will give it some thought....

HI Colin, I listened to it again and they didn't seem to stick out as much, maybe I was in a funk yesterday..
sounds fine to me.



KIM

Kim,

Thanks for coming back and checking it out.

Hi Colin,

Excellent performance on this, your playing sounds great. A very universal message lyrically. The only thing I might consider is, as Kim mentioned, more of a lift in the chorus. The song structure makes it even more necessary, since you repeat the verse melody twice, then the chorus then another verse then the chorus again, and you're 2:30 into the song before the bridge & musical interlude gives a clearly different melody. The ear really wants a break before that. Otherwise, a good solid effort.

Ricki

Nice! I like it a lot really good song

Tom/

Ricki,

Thanks for listening. I will see about spicing up the chorus a bit more.

Tom,

A listen all the way in Thailand? Thanks for the comments!

I spiffed this one up a bit.....more to follow.

Colin
They lyrics are wonderful.

That solo is peeerfect.

Well done

Hi, Colin

Just listened to your song...I really like the melody and the lyrics. Postivie song.

What do you plan to do with this song? Pitch it to..?


Petra

Glad I caught this Colin - that's just gotta be my favorite vibe in a song. Has a folk rock feel with a southwestern tinge. Love the instrumental section too - one break where two guitars were playing in harmony was awesome.

Very nicely done!

Scott

Colin,
I like the vibe in this song as well. I think the lyrics are well done and have a nice message. I like the harmony through the chorus. That seems to lift it to me. You could also think about a punch with the drums of sorts( instead of leading up with the electric guitar) right before the chorus to set it up musically? Just a thought...

Tracy

Nelson,

Thanks for that - glad you like it.

Petra,

Thanks to you too. I had not thought about pitching it - I wrote it for a friend.

Scott,

Thanks neighbor.

Tracy,

Thanks for the suggestion on the drums. I will go back and think about it.

Colin--

Has a "HIGHWAYMEN" sound--CH NEEDS A WALK-UP PROGRESSION signature RIFF--and they'll say, "THAT'S THE NEW SHOULDER SONG BY COLIN"--COOL, EH--I NEED TO LEARN THAT LICK MYSELF--

WRITE ON BRO'--

Mackie

Ditto Mackie. Lyrics interesting and uplifting, but I kept looking for the lift -- somewhere. Still, really pleasant.
Ott

Mackie,

Good suggestion - thanks. I am a fan of signature riffs.

Ott,

Thanks for your comments. What would be your definition of a lift as applied to this song?