JPF Home Page Forums General Messages General Message Forum Have You Ever Been Scared?? Really scared

Ok I know i'm just in a panic now...but i've always been able to handle anything, anytime....has any of you ever been really scared......Now, I know i'm gonna be ok and tomorrow at least this part will be over, doubt I'll sleep any tonight...just wanted to know if any of you have ever been scared....sorry but thanks glyn

The one time I think I've been the most scared lasted for the first few days of Operation Iraqi Freedom when I was in Kuwait during my service in the United States Air Force. Knowing that at any second, you could die is pretty frightening.

I was able to distract myself from that fear with my trusty Hi-8 digital camcorder and I filmed a lot of things during that time. I still have the film footage. At times when I had computer/internet access, I would write a public journal on the jpf forum to keep everyone posted on how we were coping overseas during that period.

So yeah, I've experienced real fear. Here's the kicker. How we handle that fear is what makes us or breaks us.

Hope this helps. :-)

Gregory Watton
www.facebook.com/thewattonshow
www.twitter.com/thewattonshow

Hi Glyn, Yes, I was really scared just today. A neighbor moved out suddenly and apparently left his dog behind, locked in the back yard. Today the dog dug its way out and, unknown to me, was roaming. I parked my car up the street, so as not to block our mailbox, and suddenly the dog charged me, snarling and growling. Did I mention it was a good-sized Pit Bull? Time slowed down. I said a quick prayer took a deep breath and realized I had to face it. I looked it in the eyes, stamped my foot and yelled "NO" with every bit of my "teacher voice," as my wife calls it. Thank God, the pit bull stopped, turned and ran back to its porch.

Well, then, I tried calling my wife who was on her way to our house with our 19 month old grandson. I couldn't reach her so I called our daughter. She said my wife hadn't got there yet to pick him up. I figured my wife forgot her cell phone (which turned out to be correct) so told my daughter about the dog and to tell my wife if I wasn't out in front, to wait in the car. Then I made a call to Metro Animal Control to report the dog. While waiting outside, a friend who was coming over to work on some guitar parts arrived. I escorted him to the house and waited for my wife. All the while the dog was lying on the porch watching us.

My wife finally arrived, she had stopped to get some groceries, so I had her stay in the car with the baby until I got the groceries in the house, then I had her get out on the passenger side, keeping the car in between the dog and us. She carried the baby in and I followed, keeping an eye on the animal.

That was around noon. It is now 8:30 pm, I have called Metro Animal Control twice, my neighbor called once and my wife called once. A few times, walking out to check on it, the dog was off the porch. Again I told it "NO," and it returned to its spot. Later in the afternoon, I saw a young man putting advertising on folks' doors on the porch who was also threatened by the dog, it actually bit his work boot. On the second call, Metro Animal Control said that things were very busy there. I let them know that someone could easily get bitten. We've been trying to spread the word to the neighbors.

It's not the animal's fault, I blame the owner. That particular breed is more capable of doing damage than most other breeds because of the structure of its mouth and the way it clamps down and doesn't let go. I just hope that Metro picks it up soon. I don't want to have to shoot the poor thing, but I won't let it bite me or my family, or anyone if I'm there when it happens.

So, yes, I've been scared today and a few other times in my life. Prayer helps, so does determination. People often get hung up in the OODA loop. In any crisis situation we face, we go along that loop. Observe, Orient, Decide, Act. First we observe the situation, then we orient ourselves to it. Then we decide what do to. Then we do it. Sometimes life throws several situations at us so we get stuck repeating one of the steps. Then we have to hit "reset" and start again with Observe. The trick is to move through it smoothly. Breathing helps. If you're panicking, breathe deeply. Some folks recommend breathing into a paper sack, maybe there's something to it, but I think it's just a focusing gimmick to get us breathing deeply and regularly. Getting good oxygen helps the body feel less nervous and calms us down.

Out of all of it, though, prayer is the best. I read someone just today who wrote, and I might not be quoting exactly: Those who bless God in their trials will be blessed by God through their trials.

Anyway, I'll be praying for you. Breathe deeply, stay determined, say "NO" to that dog.

All the Best,
Mike

Glynda
It is normal for you to feel this way. I can empathize with you.
In 2005 I was Dx'd with cancer. My Doctor told me not to worry as it was very curable.
That first day or so I was a basket case. I woke up about three in the morning in a panic attack.
It was so bad my wife was sure I was having a heart attack. And she is a nurse. I had all the symptoms. Chest pain, sweating bullets, weak thready pulse, short of breath, nausea. I was sweating so bad it was dripping off me and there was actually a puddle on the bathroom floor. I never knew a person could sweat that much.

It was so bad I was laying on the bathroom floor curled up in a ball. We lived out in the country and calling an ambulance was always a risky business. We could easily drive to Hospital in less time than it would take an ambulance to get to our house so she helped me get some pants on and drove me to Hospital.
Of course I wasn't having a heart attack. The panic attack passed as I was entering the ER and I was back to normal in a few minutes.
Scared? You damn right I was and I stayed scared for weeks.

I spent the next couple weeks educating myself on my Cancer and came to understand it and accept it. Fortunately my cancer was "cured". Can it come back? Yes. I just try not to think about that.
I am a mentor on a Cancer website. I get calls from time to time from men with my Cancer. Believe me most of them are scared.

I want to thank each of you and yes this is helping, see there are alot of folks going through alot worse than what i'm going through...it helps alot reading through these..

and Mike, iv'e seen where pit bull dogs that have been with their owners for their entire life,tear them to shreads...

and Greg what could be worse...not knowing if you're going to be killed at any moment..and I admire and respect you and everyone in that situation...God bless you

again thank each of you for helping me here, already i'm feeling better

glyn

Bill,

Thanks for sharing that with me, i'm calming down a bit now, this is helping...gives me something to do..and i'm so sorry you had to go through all that...love you sir and everyone here for all ya'll done for me

glyn

Every time I think President Palin.

lol

Hey Glynda,

Yes, I've been scared. In the early 90s, for three Novembers in a row, I lost family members from the generation before me. I was close to them all and they are in my biggest childhood memories. When that fourth November rolled around, I was "scared to death" my mom would be the next. She wasn't.

When she did die, it was September 2004, a month when we lost four family members (some closer than others), my brother lost his job, I had a wreck, one family member had a stroke, and another went to ICU, and the IRS told me I owed $100,000. That month several hurricanes passed through Georgia during the funerals. Ever since then, when I hear hurricane warnings, I can't stop a sense of dread from coming over me.

And, about three years ago, on a Saturday night, after seeing several doctors, having bunches of tests with no answers, I remember looking in a mirror and thinking I had never looked so bad. Hair was combed but my eyes and my skin made me think I was dying. Miraculously, I got better but not well. Now each new twinge causes me to wonder what's happening to me.

I can't know exactly how you feel but yeah I've been scared. Two things control my life now: pain and fear. Fear of making a wrong move that will cause bones to break, fear of walking outside and having a heart attack, fear that in the morning my body will be racked with pain, fear that one of these times I'm coughing I won't be able to expel whatever it is that causes me to gasp for breath.

I wish with all my heart I had some words of encouragement but I don't. I THINK I know how you feel. It's real fear and I'm not sure anything can remove it. I can't change it but I would give anything if I could. May God bless you in this lonesome journey.

Glynda,

Helen has a Spanish friend, Tina, who is going to church and lighting a candle for you every day.

Helen was in a road traffic accident in 1982 and her family were told not to hold out any hopes, as she had so many injuries.

She died 3 times and came back.(I think it was to haunt me).

They were sure she wasn't going to make it.

Tina went to see her every day, for three months, of which 6 weeks she was in intensive care.

She went to church each and every day lighting candles the whole time,until the doctor said against all the odds Helen had made it.

So dear Glynda, it shows you must never give up hope.

Godbless, Roy and Helen.

Harry,


Thanks, it does help seeing what others have gone through and it makes me feel proud that others will share this with me...when I need it the most..and it doesn't matter how many have gone through things, when it's you, is't so scarey...and I wish I could be there for everyone and help out more than just my words can do..but believe me this helps...

working in the hospital I see this stuff everyday, and I too try my best to help that patient feel easier, not so terrified...but being on the other end of things, gives you more insight to what they are going through....and I can promise you, it will make me take more notice and go that extra detail to help them. ..

I've had these test before, like I say, the proceedure is not what i'm afraid of..it's the unknown...and it may not be anything anywhere my crazy mind is taking me.. but the waiting,

gives a person too much time to think...i've coughed for so many years, and had heartburn so severly I thought I was having a heart attack..that pain stopped me in my tracks...

and I don't know why they couldn't have found this all out, so many times i've been in and out seeing the doctors for these same symtpoms...and after all this, I still have another colonscopy due and a sleep study due...

I love all you guys here and i'm so happy and grateful I have ya'll....and i'm sorry for clinging like a sloppy, wet sponge here...but hey, it is helping me right now..

I'm alone tonight, my 2nd daughter Sherri will pick me up in the morning and take me..and i'd rather have her there anyway than my first daughter...Sherri can deal with things better..

And I can look around and see others that's fears are way above mine... Thank you for sharing this all with me...my panic is gone, i'm relaxed and up and down, but hey, I do this all the time too...thanks for giving me a piece of your heart...

glyn

Roy,

Oh my dear Helen....I can see why you love her so much..and I too have grown to love Helen as well as you Roy...and I treasure our friendship...

I can tell Helen is a strong lady and i'm sure you have helped her through the years..I feel you and Helen's marriage and love was blessed in heaven....

And i'll never give up hope, i'm gonna be fine and i'm sure i'm carrying my fears over and beyond...but hey, i've always been the strong one and for some reason this time i'm falling apart and I don't like that at all....I don't act like this..

And how wonderful Tina is doing this for me...so far away...well, i've got so many behind me.....i'm not scared anymore......and I know that i'll be able to handle anything and move on and deal with it...thanks again....

glyn

The one you need with you at all times is Jesus. He'll calm your fears and give you a peace beyond all understanding.

Being prepped for brain surgery, before the relaxants kicked in.

I hope you got a least a little rest last night and let's just wait and find out how the biopsy goes. I don't see how you CAN'T be scared. Just hang in there knowing there are many thinking about you and praying.

Kevin

Whether you find your peace and comfort in Jesus, Allah, the teachings of the Buddha, or the Torah, or just in time with your family and friends or your music... we are all thinking of and praying for you, glynda.

Love, comfort, and prayers your way, g. Hope it all turns out for the best.

And remember that, even if results are not what you hoped for, there is a lot that can be done today that was not possible even just a couple of years ago.

When things go bad, they tend to go bad in the best possible way. Hang in there.

Glynda, Here's a song about troubled times and how love can get you through. And it looks to me like you've got a lot of love coming your way on JPF. I hope this eases your heart just a little bit.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=1087633&songID=10434819

Love is
copyright 2011 Dan Sullivan

In the darkness
In the gloom
Don't be discouraged
Don't be blue
Love's not selfish
Or unkind
Love can ease
A troubled mind

When your heart feels
Black and blue
Love wouldn't think of
Hurting you
Love is faithful
It can't betray
In the darkness
It lights the way

Some bright morning
Someday soon
Love will walk
Right in on you
It won't hurt you
Like he did
You'll wanna smile
Like a little kid

Yes, in the darkness
In the gloom
Don't be discouraged
Don't be blue
Love's not selfish
Or unkind
Love can ease
A troubled mind

Glyn, I've been scared more times than I can count, though they can't compare to what you, Bill and others have faced. Since you asked though, I'll tell about the time I was most scared:

I was 16 years old and was on a weekend camping trip with my Boy Scout troop. On that particular trip, I was the oldest boy by at least two years so I was in charge of whatever the adults put me in charge of. The night before we were to return home, they (the adults) told me to lead the rest of a troop on a late night hike through the woods while they remained behind in camp.

If that seems ill-advised, keep in mind this was 35 years ago. Back then no one would have thought anything about this.

So I'm leading the hike and it's difficult because some kids want to run ahead and others fall behind. I found myself hanging back because I didn't want the kids trailing behind to get lost. Suddenly there are shouts from up ahead.

It turns out the kids in front came to the top of a big hill and decided to run down it. One kid tripped and fell the rest of the way, hitting his head on a rock at the bottom. When I got to him, he was incoherent and his face was covered in blood. I had never seen that much blood before.

I started to think that someone would be there to take care of him and that's when it hit me. There ain't nobody else.

I remember asking some of the older boys to walk fast (don't run) back to camp to get the adults. And I remember tasking some other boys with keeping the rest calm. And I remember cleaning the blood of this kid's face, finding the wound, stripping off my tee shirt and tearing it into a bandage. I remember keeping him comfortable and with me and seeing him slowly become more conscious of his surroundings. But what I remember most was this:

As I was doing all that, I had an image in my head of me also holding a door shut with my body. On the other side of the door was a bunch of people pushing on it and shouting, "He's going to die, you f%$k-up! Don't try to help, you're going to kill him! Wait until somebody comes who knows what they are doing!" I could feel panic starting to leak around the edges in the door but somehow it didn't open. I think it was because there wasn't anybody else.

The adults finally came and the kid was taken to the hospital where it turned out he had (in addition to the bad cut) a light concussion. He was fine in a few days.

Later that night the assistant scoutmaster tore into me in front of everyone else. He said "This accident is all on you. When you're in charge, you have a responsibility". I just took it - he was right, after all. But the memory of that moment has also stuck with me.

The next day, after everyone had left, there was just me and the head scoutmaster, who I had ridden with. He suggested that the two of us go on a hike before returning home. Mostly, we just walked in silence but, every now and then, he would point out something interesting in the woods that I would have never noticed. And at the end, in his low key way, he looked at me and said, "You did well last night - I'm proud of you".

That's another moment that sticks in my memory.

He wasn't talking about my screw up leading up to the accident. I don't even think he was critiquing my response. What I think is that he knew about that door...

Since then, I've been scared many times. I'm proud of how I responded to some of the instances. For others, I'm not. They all stick with me though because pride and shame seem to be about equally strong emotions for me.

The odds are excellent that I will have to face what you are facing at some point. When I do, I hope that I can deal with it as you are. Because it would be nice to be able to add something to the "pride" side of the ledger.

Scott

~~~Wow~~~ to everyone speaking up here........... I love you Glyn. I love this board. I love how open we are. The friendship and real love here. Thank you to all of you sharing your stories.

I'm an emotional puddle anyway today it looks like, so......

Hang in there Glyn.
Holding your hand - virtually -- good to read through and see you got feeling a little better before your test.

I hate the unknown too.


Linda

Glynda,

I have just about died about 600 times, so 600 times, YEAH,,,very scared.

Panic attacks are no joke, especially when there is no apparent reason for them. Mine were first when awake. Then after time, both awake and while sleeping. Woke up in a terror of the dying kind. I DO know what is it like to just about die. No fun if wanting to feel better! The fight thing was strong in me, for it was all I could do during them. The adrenalin levels were high as anything. Seems I had a leak of that, along with a diminished serotonin level. ,,,,

I did Jesus, therapy, walks, deep breathing, rationalization, yoga, etc, etc, giving it ALL in total belief! While they all felt good during the in-between attack times, it was recently found out that I have a chemical lack, (serotonin). Very low levels, even after getting decent amount of sunlight. And mine didn't last in my brain long. So, with all the above "answers", they continued and brought the same symptoms, no matter how much conviction I gave everything,"BELIEVE" me! Try 30 years of that, month after month. Year after year, and having to still do the usual things like work, play music with people, and do the family things.

Now?,,,Gone completely for one year and some weeks!!! Not a one! Was having 24 sudden and non-dealable attacks a year "on average". What squashed the attacks? An SSRI Serotonin enhancing drug, ("Lexapro", a very clean profile ssri) that also keeps the serotonin IN my brain, not letting it escape as was my specific brain issue, and blocks leaks of adrenalin, (through certain activated proteins that were not able to do their job). Like a car that leaks oil, and thinking or believing something will fix it without knowing about the engine, serotonin is now afloat in my brain, (the engine) and doing its job that it was intended to do by whatever creator of our brains. Sometimes, our parts or fluids need to be evaluated and adjusted to really heal.

If you don't have my condition, good! It just might be stress that changed some chems in your brain, and and is just defragging itself,a nd could level out soon. If you have another attack soon, then don't wait 30 years to get properly diagnosed, as I listened to all kinds of people saying to do and that. Thanks! Now? Thanks to Doc, (2LT bassist),and my family doctor of late that I finally brought it up to, I am cured beyond belief! I never thought I would not live without unprovoked attacks that took over my entire system. NO matter what I did during the attacks, it was like someone that would go through a diabetic seizure. They are NOT going to control it. Chemicals in the brain need to be balanced just so to have us do our things in the usual ways as we were used to before the imbalance.

Good happy feelings I had,,,then BAM! "WTF was that"?!,,,over and over, year after year. I am no longer afraid to die, so I guess I got used to it in weird way! The afterlife won't be worse than the hell I was alive to witness, that's for sure! I'm looking forward to the good, bright light life whenever that will be!

My self TRT training for Tinnitus though is helping that condition, I guess since it deals with redirecting the sound wavs as they enter the ear. Tricky to do that on my own, but with being "stable" by Serotonin, I am able to think more consistently and rationally about everything. My wife said it's like she got the me that was when we first met back! Yeah!!! Happy for her mostly! It was hell for her to go through too, seeing me in the ghosting ways all of a sudden,,even when all was going great!

So, if another one occurs, visit your doctor "again", I know of your trials, and I wish you well through all of them. Ask about SSRI's and get tested for serotonin levels.

BEST Wishes Glynda!

Hi Glyn:

The fears I've known are nothing compared to what you must be going through. I won't bore you with stories of endured fear... only that prayer is a tremendous weapon. I'm praying... and am grateful for Roy and Helen's friend, Tina... who also prays for your benefit each day. We are truly blessed to have so many kind and caring participants here at JPF's general message boards.

Thanks to everyone who shared your inspiring and interesting stories. It's always good to be among friends... even if they only exist in our computers.

Best always,

Dave

Glyn, you're always on my mind. I haven't called you because last time you sounded so winded and I didn't want to burden you by making you talk. I know you're scared, I would be too. One thing I believe in is energy. I believe our souls are made of energy and I believe we are all connected. So the love that we all have for you is a real energy that you can feel. Imagine us all holding hands in a circle around you, saying healing prayers, and a bright white healing light shining down on you, radiating throughout your body and concentrating on your esophagus. Do this for 20 minutes every day, twice a day. Call me if you're able. Love you, Sis.

To everyone else who shared their stories, thank you! They were all a help to Glyn I'm sure, and it's so incredible that we have such a wonderful sense of "family" here!

Twice I came close to being shot by accident. I didn't have time to be scared because it happened so fast, but afterwards I was shook up a bit. I won't go into details, but it happened when I was still in my teens. It was just careless use of guns by others. It wasn't my time to die, I was protected by God, even though at that time I didn't know God like I do now, but He knew me. He knows you too Glyn, have faith.

Dave Rice might appreciate this.

In the early 90's, I was going through flight training for my commercial license. I had to log so many hours flying solo in a high performance aircraft (high performance meaning a plane with an adjustable prop and retractable landing gear).

I was returning from a solo flight, was cleared for final approach by the tower. As I was going through my pre-landing checklist, I looked out of the window to make sure that the landing gear was down and locked. It was down but not locked. It was dangling in the breeze. The green light wasn't on. My stomach and throat collided. I radioed the tower that I was having landing gear problems. They instructed me to fly by the tower so that they can look at it through binoculars. I did a flyby and they confirmed that the gear wasn't all the way down (hell, I already knew that) so they put me into a holding pattern.

When I got into the holding pattern, I thought of something that I was trained for but neglected to do. Read the emergency checklist. DUH! I felt so stupid for not doing that in the first place. What I didn't think of, and was on the checklist, was the emergency hydraulic hand pump that brings the gear down when the electric pump fails. I hand pumped it down, heard the "click", saw the green light and looked out of the window and saw that it was secure.

I got clearance to leave the holding pattern and was cleared for final approach. I got scared. What if the gear collapses when I touch down? I wasn't in the mood for a belly landing. Luckily I landed safely. I learned a lesson that day.

Ben, I gotta tell you a story about when my dad was learning to fly (was drafted in WW2). He was somewhere in Iowa, and this guy who was his flight instructor was a heavy drinker. So anyway, the guy lets my dad take the plane up with him as passenger. He put away like a fifth of Beam before they went up. So my dad is flying and all of the sudden the engine just QUITS! My dad's like, WTH??? So the flight instructor goes, "Oh sh!t! I forgot to fuel up!" I think at this point my dad was about to crap his pants. So anyway, the drunk flight instructor instructed my dad how to make an emergency landing in a farm field!

Yes Polly, checking the fuel is on the checklist. BUT, visually check the fuel. That means opening the gas cap and looking into the fuel tank. It's not like a car. You can actually see the gas in an airplane.

I had a drunk flight instructor once, well..he was hungover. He told me that he drank a case of beer the night before. We had to fly from Tulsa to Dallas at 4:00AM. I was already a commercial pilot and had no problem making the flight. He was required to be there to sign off on the flight. I let him sleep all the way.

Ben:

You are 100% correct. Your story reminds me why I discontinued my commercial pilot's program. I was young, probably a little reckless and had a family to support. So many Doctors and Lawyers get their licenses and throw pre-flight planning (including weather checks) into the wind... and end up creating "aluminum showers" as they fly straight into a frontal storm. I think some pilots call this phenomenon "get-home-itis."

I was afraid that my desire to get home despite unwise conditions would influnce me to create a widow and orphans... so I gave it up. You bet I miss it... but there are old pilots and there are bold pilots. You know the rest... there are no old, bold pilots... LOL!

Polly, your story was most interesting. Thank goodness they had sufficient altitude to spot an open field.

Best,

Dave

Hey Dave, yep on "get home itis". That's what killed Buddy Holley. They were in a hurry. Weather is the worst enemy. The Beechcraft Bonanza is a high performance aircraft but can't hold up to certain weather conditions, not to mention an inexperienced 21 year old pilot.

As for landing in a field, they say "altitude is your friend".

HiDee Mz G!

Yeah, been Scared ever since my first beating from my New Stepfather when Mom remarried..I was 6.

Then, Scared what he'd do when a rock I'd tossed..the size of a grapefruit..in a rock-tossing-fight..came down & gave a wee-one a concussion..I was 10. (Lie-ing-like-Crazy saved me that day.)

Scared when I took on the Class Bully in the Playground, 6th Grade, he was a good 2-feet-taller/had been picking on me for yearss. (Principal hadda pull me off him/Was lucky both the School AND my parents Understood...)

Scared when we moved to a new city..& school system..as I entered 7th Grade & encountered a fresh crop of Bullies. (It was then I discovered Cartooning..& that Humor could prevent a lot of mishaps.)

Scared when a newly-Mothered & Mean English Setter chased me all the way down a long gravel driveway when I delivered a paper to it's up-hill owner..10th Grade..

Scared when I left the Family Nest & headed-off to College..Sept 1963..& when I flunked a Semester of French..1964.

Scared when I hollered "STOP" and the carfull of Inebriated College Chums slid to a halt about 6 inches-away from bein' split in 2 by a telephone pole..1964. (There'd've been 1 Army Major, One Big Mass. Catholic Priest, 2 Ohio State Legislators & Me LESS...if it hadn't...heh!)

Scared when I enlisted in the Army..1967..Scared when I arrived in Cam Ranh Bay 1 week after Tet 1..& it was still fulla holes & smoking...Scarder when I encountered my 1st Midnight Rocket Attack in Pleiku a week-later..Scared every night weekly on Bunker Duty..Scardest-Ever 40 days from heading home when I got stuck on a Patrol/we got surrounded..23 of Them..14 of Us..& one of Them was heading my way, with a flashlight. It was then & there I met The Foxhole God..&..as I've mentioned a few times already, a cough formed in my throat, & he went away..noone was killed that evening..& I've lived to tell these tales.

Scared when I hitchiked to The Pentagon..to get my orders changed from the US..to Europe duty, knowing it'd change how all the rest of my life'd unfold...

Scared when I met my wife-to-be..3 months later..in Heidelberg..the night of her birthday..& I walked up & asked for a dance...

Scared several times driving the Opel GT I acquired there..once when I almost slid off a Swiss mountainside road (With wife & her family aboard) & another time when I spun it completely-around on an icy Autobahn 5-lanes near Saarbrucken. (WAS ironically fun to watch La Femme's expression as we whirled..then ended-up backing into a snowdrift..totally unharmed.) God's stayed my Co-Pilot...

Scared all 3 times my wife was pregnant..scardest the time she lost kid #2.

Scared, but not TOO-scared, when I got the news that I had Prostate Cancer a yr & a half ago. I've prettywell "Lived It" during my Earlier Years; every day since 1967's been A Gift..I've no fear whatsoever of death..it arrives When It Arrives..might as well eat, drink, smoke, & love until it's all gone & used-up/hopefully leave a few good songs behind & some well-behaved kids..at-least.

My only fear left is my legs'll give out before I take my wife on that Trip Around The World I've sorta promised her before I buy the farm. But so far..I've managed to hang in there..even after that 10-foot fall off a ladder 2 weeks ago, which did sorta scare me all the way down.

As for death..it's either one of 2 things:
1) Total Cessation of All Pain & Agony..& Pitch Blackness, Forever-&-a-Day..or...
2) It's the Start of a New Adventure..maybe a nice New Body (tho maybe not one of a Human)...maybe not even a body Necessary (Assuming the Given Description of Heaven is a valid one.)

Guess my Final Fear is my mind'll be so Elderly & Ancient that I'll lose my ability to see What's Happening as that final chapter gets writ. But, as Winston Churchill once orated, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." (Hmm..or was that FDR?)

Yeah, I'm slippin' already...Growin' Old scares the Heck outta me! ;-)>

Best Wishes, Fellow Time Traveller! Big Hugs & Prayers too,
Stan

When we live with something like that it can scare us forever. I don't know the inspiration for the Kelly Clarkson song "Because Of You" but I've always thought it sounded a lot like the story of someone who may have been abused.

I didn't suffer physical abuse growing up but there are other kinds and sometimes life itself can take things from you in an instant and leave you scared and wondering "what's next?"

Much of my life I've spent running away. I remember putting that phrase in a song one time. In 1992 or so, at the age of 36, by the grace of God, I stopped running. I remember feeling at that time I was like someone standing on a Florida beach watching a hurricane coming in and knowing I couldn't run. I learned through that period that sometimes, and have since learned, most times, it's not as bad as I fear. I've learned to face a lot of emotions. I don't like it and it isn't fun but it doesn't paralyze me like it used to or make me run like I used to. Other things I used to handle well do tend to paralyze me sometimes now however. But there's one good thing: I know longer hate myself for feeling paralyzed. I try to accept it and work through it. Life can be a hard thing, can't it? As hard as it gets, though, I still feel blessed with I think about it.

Wow, thanks for letting me ramble.