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#886910 - 03/21/11 06:53 PM Hand Upon Your Shoulder - Colin - Full band version  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Colin Ward Offline
Colin Ward  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Saint Petersburg. FL
Hi All,

Here is a new version of one of my FAWM songs that was previously posted as a rough draft. All comments and critiques are welcome. It can still be changed to some extent. I wrote the lyrics for a friend who needed a bit of support.

[color:#3333FF][u][size:11pt]Hand Upon Your Shoulder[/size][/u][/color]


Last edited by Colin Ward; 03/22/11 10:14 AM.

Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


#886915 - 03/21/11 07:06 PM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - FAWM - Colin - Full band version [Re: Colin Ward]  
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
KimberlyinNC Offline
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KimberlyinNC  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
North Carolina
Hi Colin, I like it and the message. I do wonder if the chorus may need a bit more of a punch or something. I am sure the note probably changes into the chorus, but it almost sounds similiar.
I think the hook is very good, and I think it is pretty close to being "there"
I hear a couple of places I might would cut out some words, but it may make you have to change the entire verses in length and I am sure you don't want to do that..but...

good stuff- Colin!

Kimberly


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
#887004 - 03/22/11 12:47 AM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - FAWM - Colin - Full band version [Re: KimberlyinNC]  
Joined: May 2006
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Colin Ward Offline
Colin Ward  Offline

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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Saint Petersburg. FL
Thanks for listening Kim. You can let me know which words you find excess if you like and i will give it some thought....


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


#887130 - 03/22/11 05:44 PM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - FAWM - Colin - Full band version [Re: Colin Ward]  
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
KimberlyinNC Offline
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KimberlyinNC  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2008
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North Carolina
HI Colin, I listened to it again and they didn't seem to stick out as much, maybe I was in a funk yesterday..
sounds fine to me.

grin

KIM


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
#887269 - 03/23/11 09:05 AM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - FAWM - Colin - Full band version [Re: KimberlyinNC]  
Joined: May 2006
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Colin Ward Offline
Colin Ward  Offline

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Joined: May 2006
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Saint Petersburg. FL
Kim,

Thanks for coming back and checking it out.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


#887302 - 03/23/11 11:44 AM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - FAWM - Colin - Full band version [Re: Colin Ward]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,894
Ricki E. Bellos Offline
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Ricki E. Bellos  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,894
Wisconsin
Hi Colin,

Excellent performance on this, your playing sounds great. A very universal message lyrically. The only thing I might consider is, as Kim mentioned, more of a lift in the chorus. The song structure makes it even more necessary, since you repeat the verse melody twice, then the chorus then another verse then the chorus again, and you're 2:30 into the song before the bridge & musical interlude gives a clearly different melody. The ear really wants a break before that. Otherwise, a good solid effort.

Ricki

#887314 - 03/23/11 12:15 PM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - Colin - Full band version [Re: Colin Ward]  
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 71
Tom Hellsten Offline
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Tom Hellsten  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 71
Thailand
Nice! I like it a lot really good song

Tom/


Life is worth nothing without the music
#887367 - 03/23/11 02:35 PM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - Colin - Full band version [Re: Tom Hellsten]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Colin Ward Offline
Colin Ward  Offline

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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Saint Petersburg. FL
Ricki,

Thanks for listening. I will see about spicing up the chorus a bit more.

Tom,

A listen all the way in Thailand? Thanks for the comments!


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


#889482 - 04/02/11 12:54 AM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - Colin - Full band version [Re: Colin Ward]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Colin Ward Offline
Colin Ward  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Saint Petersburg. FL
I spiffed this one up a bit.....more to follow.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


#890007 - 04/04/11 11:22 AM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - Colin - Full band version [Re: Colin Ward]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Nelson Offline
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Nelson  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Baltimore, MD
Colin
They lyrics are wonderful.

That solo is peeerfect.

Well done

#890013 - 04/04/11 11:39 AM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - Colin - Full band version [Re: Colin Ward]  
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 883
Petra Offline
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Petra  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 883
Ontario, Canada
Hi, Colin

Just listened to your song...I really like the melody and the lyrics. Postivie song.

What do you plan to do with this song? Pitch it to..?


Petra cool


Invasion of Aliens!!!
#890208 - 04/05/11 12:25 AM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - Colin - Full band version [Re: Petra]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,075
Scott Campbell Offline
Scott Campbell  Offline

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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,075
Lakeland, FL, USA
Glad I caught this Colin - that's just gotta be my favorite vibe in a song. Has a folk rock feel with a southwestern tinge. Love the instrumental section too - one break where two guitars were playing in harmony was awesome. smile

Very nicely done!

Scott



#890223 - 04/05/11 01:55 AM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - Colin - Full band version [Re: Scott Campbell]  
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 366
Tracy Harris Offline
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Tracy Harris  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 366
Colin,
I like the vibe in this song as well. I think the lyrics are well done and have a nice message. I like the harmony through the chorus. That seems to lift it to me. You could also think about a punch with the drums of sorts( instead of leading up with the electric guitar) right before the chorus to set it up musically? Just a thought...

Tracy

#890348 - 04/05/11 04:31 PM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - Colin - Full band version [Re: Tracy Harris]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Colin Ward Offline
Colin Ward  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Saint Petersburg. FL
Nelson,

Thanks for that - glad you like it.

Petra,

Thanks to you too. I had not thought about pitching it - I wrote it for a friend.

Scott,

Thanks neighbor.

Tracy,

Thanks for the suggestion on the drums. I will go back and think about it.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


#890353 - 04/05/11 04:44 PM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - Colin - Full band version [Re: Colin Ward]  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 8,954
Mackie H. Offline
Top 20 Poster
Mackie H.  Offline
Top 20 Poster

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 8,954
NASHVILLE, TN
Colin--

Has a "HIGHWAYMEN" sound--CH NEEDS A WALK-UP PROGRESSION signature RIFF--and they'll say, "THAT'S THE NEW SHOULDER SONG BY COLIN"--COOL, EH--I NEED TO LEARN THAT LICK MYSELF--

WRITE ON BRO'--

Mackie

Last edited by Mackie H.; 04/05/11 04:46 PM.
#890492 - 04/06/11 01:34 AM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - Colin - Full band version [Re: Mackie H.]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 691
Ott Lukk (D) Offline
Serious Contributor
Ott Lukk (D)  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 691
Minneapolis
Ditto Mackie. Lyrics interesting and uplifting, but I kept looking for the lift -- somewhere. Still, really pleasant.
Ott

#890992 - 04/08/11 10:33 AM Re: Hand Upon Your Shoulder - Colin - Full band version [Re: Ott Lukk (D)]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Colin Ward Offline
Colin Ward  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Saint Petersburg. FL
Mackie,

Good suggestion - thanks. I am a fan of signature riffs.

Ott,

Thanks for your comments. What would be your definition of a lift as applied to this song?


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/



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