Took Nigel's idea for Bridge, and parlayed it into an Outro. Thinking this part should be slowed down even more, and the tone should be "cautionary tale-esque".... That make any sense???
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- EDIT 1/19: Yeah, it really ISN'T "explicit" per se. ANYHOO, a couple of tweaks for your consideration. Especially wanted to incorporate the one stop light detail....
I wish I could write about my hometown, but not sure a one stop light town called Climax would do for a good song...
Needless to say, this inspired a few ideas. Following is our standard blues retort : Thanks again Kimberly!!
"Climax" - REV. 1/19REV. 1/21 (c) 2010 Beth G. Williams & Ricki E. Bellos
I'm going to Climax, Baby Said you'll meet me there Going to Climax, Baby Said you'll meet me there Know it's hard to get away But don't back out, if you care
You'll love the ROAD to Climax >>>>>>>> what do you think about CLIMB to Climax? Sit back, enjoy the ride Love the ROAD to Climax Sit back, enjoy the ride NO WORRIES 'BOUT THAT STOP LIGHT IT'S GREEN MOST OF THE TIME
O Babe, I'm getting closer Reaching Climax soon Babe I'm getting closer Reaching Climax soon Your relief's around the corner It's time to shoot the moon
So glad we came together You know just what to do Glad we came together You know just what to do Sometimes I come alone, but Climax is always better with you
OUTRO: They tell me some have never been While others just pretend First time, last time, or in between To Climax is the end
Ricki does have some musical thoughts on it, but we thought it would be fun...since so many people were sort of involved in this...to see if anyone else is moved to musicate it.
Regardless, hope you enjoyed it. Personally, I'm thinking ROAD TRIP ....
Beth
Last edited by Beth G. Williams; 01/22/1101:55 AM.
This'n' brings-to-mind one Graham Henderson penned a-while-back, on Intercourse (PA)..heh! (& I've been often-tempted to pen one about Toad Suck..I saw on a Sign..Somewhere West-of-The-Rockies...);-)>
Here come Da Sugs: V1: "But please HURRY if you care"
V2: "Cause our hearts on Cruise-Control/ Ahead, there's not an-y Stop-Signs!
Last V. Last Line: "Climax is MULTIPLE..With you~!"
KOS Sweet LadyChums/Love it whenyas talk Dirty..heh-heh!
Good Luck with a Fun One! Best Wishes/Big Hugs, Stan
I'll be one of the first to come to this 'Climax', hope you won't draw bad conclusions about my ... ahem, speed
Love this, any idea to who's gonna sing it? I'd say Polly AND Joe would be a lovely duet.
Cheers, Yann
Hey there Yann!
While certainly in some circles, your coming early might be an issue, as far as I'm concerned, as long as you enjoyed yourself, more power to you . In fact, let me add "come one come all!" (I think I smell a SEQUEL ).....
Gosh, I am SOOO going to get in trouble with this one...
Anyhoo, regarding musication/singing, we haven't had any takers yet, but we're surely open to suggestions.
a little better. Might not sing as well though.....
Would also be cool to work in the one stop light somehow (the light being green of course) but might not be possible.
In any case, I'm really liking this.
If Ricki does a guitar vocal worktape using her ideas - I'd be willing to try a backing track. I would also be perfectly happy to step aside if a more musically inclined member was willing. See if anyone steps up.
I find that I keep looking for double entendres in what I've typed. LOL - think I got rid of them all
Ok Bethie..per your request...I will say it here online...on the way to the one stop light "town" of climax is High Point and HorneyTown...no kidding. now, I can not imagine what this lyric will end up being now...lol Kim
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
This'n' brings-to-mind one Graham Henderson penned a-while-back, on Intercourse (PA)..heh! (& I've been often-tempted to pen one about Toad Suck..I saw on a Sign..Somewhere West-of-The-Rockies...);-)>
Here come Da Sugs: V1: "But please HURRY if you care"
V2: "Cause our hearts on Cruise-Control/ Ahead, there's not an-y Stop-Signs!
Last V. Last Line: "Climax is MULTIPLE..With you~!"
KOS Sweet LadyChums/Love it whenyas talk Dirty..heh-heh!
Good Luck with a Fun One! Best Wishes/Big Hugs, Stan
Hey Ampersand Man,
Why am I not surprised to see you here?
Anyhoo, thanks so much for coming, and for offering up your dandy suggs. I'm sorta partial to the "don't back out" reference in V1, but I do think the idea of including the one stop sign/light reference is a good one.
As for the "multiple" CLIMAX one...I'm not sure I want to put that sort of pressure on him ....
In the meantime, stay tuned to see how this develops Stan. We surely appreciate your feedback .
Ok Bethie..per your request...I will say it here online...on the way to the one stop light "town" of climax is High Point and HorneyTown...no kidding. now, I can not imagine what this lyric will end up being now...lol Kim
I can NOT believe this - this gets better and better
a little better. Might not sing as well though.....
Would also be cool to work in the one stop light somehow (the light being green of course) but might not be possible.
In any case, I'm really liking this.
If Ricki does a guitar vocal worktape using her ideas - I'd be willing to try a backing track. I would also be perfectly happy to step aside if a more musically inclined member was willing. See if anyone steps up.
I find that I keep looking for double entendres in what I've typed. LOL - think I got rid of them all
Scott
Hey Scooter,
Thanks for stopping by on this one. Considering you were indirectly involved in its inception, I'm glad you got a kick out of it. Needless to say, it was a lot of fun to see what we could come up with . There were so many plays on word available -- I was all about the HOMECOMING -- but thought that might be better saved for the sequel.
I liked the "back out" line too, and agree on the need to include that stop light somewhere.
Thanks a bunch, too, for your offer about the backing track . I'll have to confer with Ms. Bellos about her intentions, since she's such a wily one, but I think she'll agree that would be awesome!
As to your avoidance of all double entendres, I think you made out okay. I'm not sure though if the suggestion "if anyone steps UP" might somehow disqualify you .
I can imagine the fun you two had creating this little one….lol.
I am speechless. But let me try to say something….you’re very adventurous and I don’t know your intended market for this song, but it surely garners attention! I think it’s so funny that there are towns with those names. I had heard of the one in Pennsylvania that Stan mentioned but not these! Maybe theme song?
Good luck with it! Will be curious to hear it!
Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
Hi Beth. Your structure on this lyric leads me to believe that musically this shall be a blues song. The tempo needs to be slow or else the song will seem to end prematurely - and no one wants that. I see a need for a musical bridge after the "It's time to shoot the moon" line. Otherwise, you're moving along well with this one.
Ok Bethie..per your request...I will say it here online...on the way to the one stop light "town" of climax is High Point and HorneyTown...no kidding. now, I can not imagine what this lyric will end up being now...lol Kim
Good Morning Kimberly,
I'm sorry I have been remiss in attending to this thread -- spent yesterday in the hospital, another bout of dehydration and apparently a new diagnosis to add to my mix--hyperventilation syndrome. Oh well. Now they want me to walk around with some halter-monitor for my heart, meet with a cardiologist, blah blah blah. Anyway...
SO, I'm glad you're enjoying Ricki's and my lyrical take on your hometown. Also happy you posted all of the available experiences close to Climax. I don't supposed there's a "Snuggle" nearby, after you've reached Climax?
Seriously, thanks again for the inspiration. Stay tuned for more....
Ok Bethie..per your request...I will say it here online...on the way to the one stop light "town" of climax is High Point and HorneyTown...no kidding. now, I can not imagine what this lyric will end up being now...lol Kim
I can NOT believe this - this gets better and better
Where IS this place, anyway
Scott
No kidding, huh? I bet everyone calls in late for work there....
Are you sure it's on the map? some people are having trouble finding it
May I offer you a bridge?
They tell me some have never been While others just pretend I like to go there often With or without my friend
Incidentally I would hotly dispute that this is an explicit lyric - it's not, it's just a play on words. Climax is an everyday word in everyday usage and perfectly acceptable.
Now I do agree wholeheartedly with Nigel that these are NOT explicit lyrics. Explicit means everything is spelled out in graphic detail. Everything you've got here is nicely nuanced. Suggestive - but definitely not explicit!
I would take a look particularly at the last line of each verse. It seems to lack a consistent flow/meter. I would really work to tighten that up! Seriously. I would.
And I love Nigel's bridge suggestion and really hope you use it!
Are you sure it's on the map? some people are having trouble finding it
May I offer you a bridge?
They tell me some have never been While others just pretend I like to go there often With or without my friend
Incidentally I would hotly dispute that this is an explicit lyric - it's not, it's just a play on words. Climax is an everyday word in everyday usage and perfectly acceptable.
having trouble finding it, ain't that the truth...it is a one stop light place...blink and ya miss it..
what is funny is that it is the most boring little town...LOL...
Kim
Last edited by Kimberlyinnc; 01/17/1110:11 PM.
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
#872057 - 01/17/1111:23 PMRe: "Climax" -- Explicit Lyric, Thanks To Kimberly ;)
[Re: Steve Cooke]
I can imagine the fun you two had creating this little one….lol.
I am speechless. But let me try to say something….you’re very adventurous and I don’t know your intended market for this song, but it surely garners attention! I think it’s so funny that there are towns with those names. I had heard of the one in Pennsylvania that Stan mentioned but not these! Maybe theme song?
Good luck with it! Will be curious to hear it!
Kristi
Hey Kristi,
First off, let me apologize for the delay in getting back to folks on this thread....just some medical issues keeping me busy I'm afraid.
Anyway, YOU are SPEECHLESS? I find that hard to believe. Though it does make me giggle, imagining your response to this lyric.
Musically, not sure what's happening. Ricki was flirting with an idea for it, Scott has been generous to offer a backing track if we can pull it all together....so I guess the best I can say is STAY TUNED!
I kinda thought you might like this one . In fact, maybe it's where your "Calvin's Cast of Characters" live (or at least vacation )....!
Anyway, I think your nit is a valid one. I had toyed with "road" too, but thought it might be too literal at the time; now I am leaning back that way again, with your help.
So thanks for checking this out and for your input. It's much appreciated.
Hi Beth. Your structure on this lyric leads me to believe that musically this shall be a blues song. The tempo needs to be slow or else the song will seem to end prematurely - and no one wants that. I see a need for a musical bridge after the "It's time to shoot the moon" line. Otherwise, you're moving along well with this one.
Hi there summeoyo,
I apologize for the lateness getting back to you and the others on this thread. Some family medical matters are keeping me distracted I'm afraid....but I still wanted to acknowledge you all for the feedback thus far.
So to that, yes, we were shooting for a blues-type vibe. We'll be mindful of the pace, as we surely don't want anything happening prematurely .
Thank you for your input and your support. Stay tuned....
Beth
P.S. Given current circumstances, not sure I have the wherewithal to fairly do any crits at the moment. Please permit me just this effort to respond to everyone here, thanks.
Last edited by Beth G. Williams; 01/22/1112:47 AM.
Are you sure it's on the map? some people are having trouble finding it
May I offer you a bridge?
They tell me some have never been While others just pretend I like to go there often With or without my friend
Incidentally I would hotly dispute that this is an explicit lyric - it's not, it's just a play on words. Climax is an everyday word in everyday usage and perfectly acceptable.
Hi Nige,
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen and offer such thoughtful feedback.
I actually concur with your non-explicit assessment of the lyric, and have made the change accordingly in my subject line.
As for a bridge, I hadn't thought one necessary at the outset, but I certainly like your suggestion. Let me run it by HRH Ricki, and we'll certainly keep it in mind as we proceed.
Sorry, I've been MIA on this one. I left Beth to handle all the responses because, well, because she's so good at it! I have to say, I had a verse and the music in my head within the first few minutes of Kimberly's mention of her home town. Beth took that and just ran amuck so, she really did all the heavy lifting (and breathing). I have a feeling there will be changes, additions and subtractions before it's ready for music but until then, feel free to continue giving us your thoughts and suggestions. The really hard part will be singing it without cracking up! Thanks again,
Now I do agree wholeheartedly with Nigel that these are NOT explicit lyrics. Explicit means everything is spelled out in graphic detail. Everything you've got here is nicely nuanced. Suggestive - but definitely not explicit!
I would take a look particularly at the last line of each verse. It seems to lack a consistent flow/meter. I would really work to tighten that up! Seriously. I would.
And I love Nigel's bridge suggestion and really hope you use it!
~Bubbles
Hi there Bubbles,
Thank you too for the clarification on the mis-qualified "explicit" nature of this lyric. I think "naughty-ish" would have sufficed.
I do appreciate the comments about the timing on the last lines of the verses. I think with a certain amount of syncopation they could time out nicely, but much of that will be determined when Ricki sings it. Regardless, we'll for sure take another look at them to see if we can make it any easier.
Playing around with Nigel's Bridge idea too. Glad you support it.
Thanks again for your welcome and helpful feedback.
Just wanted to say that I enjoyed this one and could see the fun you gals had in writing it.
Great piece of work!
Doug
Hi Doug,
Nice to see you, it's been a while!
So thank you for taking the time to peek at this one for us. Yup, we had ourselves some fun with it -- and I don't think the good times are finished yet!
Are you sure it's on the map? some people are having trouble finding it
May I offer you a bridge?
They tell me some have never been While others just pretend I like to go there often With or without my friend
Incidentally I would hotly dispute that this is an explicit lyric - it's not, it's just a play on words. Climax is an everyday word in everyday usage and perfectly acceptable.
having trouble finding it, ain't that the truth...it is a one stop light place...blink and ya miss it..
what is funny is that it is the most boring little town...LOL... Kim
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com