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Extinct
by bennash - 10/03/24 11:35 AM
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Not Bad
by David Gill - 10/02/24 01:40 PM
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54 |
Currently this demo is awaiting a female vocal (I think? would just have to tweak the lyric) and just has a midi melody to fill the vocal part. http://www.talentscorner.net/audio/170/i-never-said-instrumental"I never said" I never said, that i was right I never said that I was happy so just ignore me every time I open my mouth. I never said I wouldn't lie I never said that I would listen But you still think that I can do no wrong, in your eyes. chorus I thought you would leave me for another or you would tell me it's over I never said I would be the one - for you baby I never said the sun would shine I never said I'd stay forever so if you see me in the street, just walk on by me. solo/instrumental 16 bars chorus I thought you would leave me for another or you would tell me it's over I never said I would be the one - for you baby I never said I'd make you smile I never said we were an item Why can't I make you understand, I can't be trusted. Never said the tears would stop I never said it will get better and baby it's nobodys fault, girl please believe me. I never thought you'd feel this way I never thought your tears were real I guess that I meant more to you, than you did to me. chorus I thought you would leave me for another or you would tell me it's over I never said I would be the one - for you baby you never said how sad you were you never said you couldn't go on and baby it's nobodys fault, girl please believe me... copyright Gary Parr 2010 all rights reserved.
Last edited by Gary_UK; 12/15/10 12:07 PM.
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670 Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
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Gary, I've made a few quick suggestions below to tighten up the lyric. Keep 'em or sweep 'em.  The singer doesn't come across as a sympathetic character, and the person he/she is singing to sounds wimpish. Are you OK with that? Just asking. Donna Currently this demo is awaiting a female vocal (I think? would just have to tweak the lyric) and just has a midi melody to fill the vocal part. http://www.talentscorner.net/audio/170/i-never-said-instrumental"I never said" I never said, that i was right I never said that I was happy so just ignore me every time I open my mouth. I never said I wouldn't lie I never said that I would listen But you still think that I can do no wrong in your eyes. chorus I thought you would leave me for another or you would tell me it's over I never said I would be the one - for you baby I never said the sun would shine I never said I'd stay forever so if you see me in the street, just walk on by me. solo/instrumental 16 bars chorus I thought you would leave me for another or you would tell me it's over I never said I would be the one - for you baby I never said I'd make you smile I never said we were an item Why can't How can I make you understand, I can't be trusted. Never said the tears would stop I never said it will would get better and baby it's nobodys fault, girl please believe me. I never thought you'd feel this way I never thought your tears were real I guess that I meant more to you, than you did to me. chorus I thought you would leave me for another or you would tell me it's over I never said I would be the one - for you baby you never said how sad you were you never said you couldn't go on and baby it's nobodys fault, girl please believe me... copyright Gary Parr 2010 all rights reserved. [/quote]
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 749
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
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Hi Gary,
I like this track a lot. It's got a very good melody I'm just not that into the instrument that you're using. Is that you playing slide? If it's have you thought about maybe do the melody on a slide guitar, that could give the track a more natural feel rather than the midi melody. The drums are sold, well programmed man.
Overall this tracks rocks I can see it as a theme tune to some sitcom. I'd up the tempo by a few beats and get another instrument playing the melody line.
Have a look around the site, I'm sure you will find a willing vocalist to colab with as the song has got great potential.
Kind regards
Andy
Work for hire Producer. I will also produce and master any old/new work tapes up to demo standards. :-) Just PM or email: Email -- mork1976@gmail.com
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54
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Hi Donna,
You hit the nail on the head......singer totally not sympathetic...as in ' well, I told you so'------did you listen to the demo?
Thanks for you remarks
Gary
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
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Thanks Andy......
The midi instrument on the melody is intended to be removed when vocals are put to it, maybe only play during the instrumental break, whatever sounds good.
Your sitcom remark made me laugh.......I was thinking the same!!
I have to admit I didn't play any instruments on the demo, Im a words man more than a player; Im not naturally musically gifted but I am learning the guitar at the minute.
Good to hear from you
Gary
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 379
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
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Hey Gary, sounds like you have a really awesome potential song here. I just listened to it five minutes ago and the main vocal melody is stuck in my head, which must be a good sign!  Drums are well-programmed and it's got a good upbeat vibe to it. Lyrics-wise, I like the non-sympathetic character; it's not an angle you hear much in popular music. I personally like lyrics told from a less-often heard point of view; makes it more interesting.  I also liked Donna's suggestions for cleaning up a few of the lines. Otherwise, nice job.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
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Thanks Ann....
When Christmas is out of the way I may have a go at recording a demo of this at home, see how it goes.
Many thanks for your remarks
Gary
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