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Hey guys; been about 2 weeks since the last one; work is busy; what else is new. Tried to be around for critiquing though so i'm not forgotten! Here's the lastest. DEFINITE melody in my head for this...don't know if ya'll will be able to catch it or not, it's a little different but i think it would be fun with music. Thanks in advance.

**Picture added; and the melody is 'similar' to a song by JM Montgomery called BEER AND BONES**

BLUEBONNET BLUES
© 2002 Blake Hill BMI

V1
I’m a Texas Trucker
That’s how I earn my wage
Old highways and new Interstates
Is where I work, and i guess it's OK
But this time of year
Sure ain’t no fun
Cause when them flowers line the roads
I feel my heart come undone

CHORUS
I’ve got the bluebonnet blues once again
I see ‘em blooming in the median
Reminding me of time we spent
Pickin’ them in the sun
I’ve got the bluebonnet blues
And they’ll hang around
Till those petals fall to the ground
Can’t wait till spring is through
I’ve got the bluebonnet blues

V2
I know it seems insane
Flowers bothering me
But sometimes all those memories
Come creepin’ back, like allergies
I see miles of blue
Waving in the wind
Like when she waved her good-bye
And sent me into a tail-spin

REPEAT CHORUS

BRIDGE
Why not yellow roses
Or red marigolds
I need a change of scenery
My mind's on overload

REPEAT CHORUS

TAG
Can’t wait till spring is through
I’ve got the bluebonnet blues



[This message has been edited by blakeh (edited 04-14-2002).]

Hi Blakeh,

Nice little song but boy do I disagree with the trucker. Love to drive out and see the
miles of blue and green.

Regards
Bill

Good to see you back with a lyric, Blakester. Yeah, that chorus is hard to follow without being inside your head to hear that melody. But the thought of being inside your head kind of scares me, so I'll live with not hearing it. In this part "I’ve got the bluebonnet blues/And they’ll hang around/Till their petals fall to the ground", it sounds like the "their" is referring to the blues, instead of the bluebonnets. I guess you could say "till those petals" or something to eliminate the grammar problem. The "allergies" line isn't working for me. Just conjures up too many icky images. Wasn't nuts about the mind exploding line, either. I'm too brain dead right now to offer a fix, though. Don't you hate that. Cute song. (I KNOW you hate THAT! ).

Erica

Bill thanks for the read; i agree, they're all over right now and they look awesome blooming all over the place. Thanks for stoppin in.

Ricki, thanks for reading. I agree with the THEIR and changed that! Allergies and explode.....i KNEW you wouldn't like! I may fish for some changes on those, but they don't bother me 2 much. Thought allergies worked well with a flower lyric! Thanks again!

Just got done 'teekin a bunch of B.S., so now I'll hit the B.B.'s (bluebonnets). This is a good idea for a lyric, and fairly well-rendered to boot. (I won't call it "cute", don't worry. )

"It's usually OK" comes off as forced, but something like "I guess I do OK" might be a skosh better, I dunno. I *like* the allergies line, just so ya know, but if you can take out the "bad" before it, go right ahead. The waving thing is nice, too. The exploding-mind thing goes a bit far, though. There should be a decent "-olds" rhyme to take care of that.

Well, golly gosh, I think that's about it! Very nice job here. I couldn't get a melody either, but as long as you remember yours, then everything's cool.

Anthony

Made me picture everything!(Thought "I" was that trucker for a minute!) Must be good then! Should be a good to hear too. Let us know when up.

John
dhsongs

Thanks for giving this a read too Anthony. I agree......that ONE line with USUALLY is killing me; i need to change it; your idea would work better. thanks for making it!

Hey John; glad to see ya over here; thanks for taking the time to stop in and give this a read!

Very original Blake! Don't believe I have ever seen/heard bluebonnets in a lyric before. This being the state flower of Texas seems someone would have thought of it? I see you have already done some edits. Still not sure about the allergies line. Bad is kinda redundant since there are NO good allergies. Maybe:

SOME allergies
MOST allergies

verse 1, line 4 looks better now. I had thought of:
And I GET BY OK

I'll check back later Blake. Babysitting again today!

I like it Blake, but I'm stumbling all over the place trying to get a head tune. The best time to adjust that is when the composer gets a hold of it.

Also thought maybe at the end of the chorus:
Can’t wait till the springtime is through
so I can let go of these bluebonnet blues

or get rid of , I'll be rid of. something like that.

Anyway, I like this song.

Interesting how much flowers affect us. When I was in my early 20's, I didn't have a car and had to ride up long hill on my ten speed to get home. It was a steep and long grade. I was exhausted after working on my feet all day. Half way up was a hospital that had beds of yellow pansies in it. I kept looking for those flowers to tell me half my struggle was over. It was like they cheered me up and encouraged me to go on. To this day, I love pansies especially yellow ones.

Jean

Blake,

Well done as always, bro, but the whole concept of a trucker reminiscing about picking flowers is throwin' me...

Apparently I'm a "minority of one" with this reaction so far...(maybe it's cause I used to drive a truck and hung out with those guys? LOL)

Chris

Hi Blake,
I was kinda thrown with you writing about flowers, didn't realize you were such a nature boy! I like the song alot, the allergies line is a winner in my opinion! good picturesque tune!!!

Blake....will reserve my judgment on meter....after..i hear the ...melody..<G>..
cause..i'm starting to under stand...things..aren't always..as they appear............

anyways..think this is wonderful....but...for us...far northener's
do you think...a "place" reference..might be good or not...........can you get Texas in there...or not......or don't ya think that would be a good idea...

i know more birds than flowers...i guess...
since i got a lecture this week..on....
the Columbine...flower....(we're writing a kids..flower song...)....and i said...
"can't have it in there..if i've never heard of it...kids aren't eitehr....anyhow..I've heard of the blue bonnets...but..wonder if all the northerner's have......?.

just a thought....

liked it very much...
Kaley

Wow...

As I was scrolling thru the replies I'm thinking.."Gee..am I the only one that would love to get some kind of geographical fix on this to set the picture a little better..then I get to Kaleys post...yikes...just echo hers for me...real nice here..

Bob

Shucks, y'all, even I knew that the Blue Bonnet is the state flower of Texas and I've only been there once. If you see a blue bonnet you would understand why even truckers like 'em. Really pretty.

JeanB

very nice Blake,
I feel like I'm getting a much needed education here. Have heard of a bluebonnet, but have no idea what it looks like, let alone know it was the state flower. Guess I'll see em next week.
I liked the bad allergy line. yeah, all allergies are "bad", but I took it as emphasis. (same thing as saying "it's bad...REALLY bad" )
And having a trucker picking flowers? well ain't there no telling what a guy will do with his sweetie if he's smitten hard enough?
I love the first two lines of verse two. Kinda sums it up. Keeps us from saying "come on Bud, flowers? really?"

Gonna be looking for these flowers. real soon

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Harriet

Thanks for stoppin' in Bama; ALWAYS appreciated.

Jean, thanks for stoppin' in like you always seem to do. Maybe I'll try typing the song in the way i'm hearing it to give you a better idea of what I'm singing when i wrote this.

Hey Blakeman,

If I can pretend to be macho and still do "daddy" songs, then I guess you can do flowers!

Really love the images in this song. I think you pulled it off real well. Only a couple very minor issues with me on this one, and a couple have been mentioned already. I'll just list 'em:

1) I always cringe when I hear "ONCE again". Something about it doesn't set too well with me, maybe 'cause it's used so much. Maybe just leave out the word ONCE.

2) Verse 1:
"Cause when them flowers line the roads,
My heart comes undone" (that prolly screws with your melody, but seemed to read better to me. JMO).

3) Dodn't think you needed to say BAD allergies, either.

4) Verse 2: "Like when she waved (delete HER) goodbye." (Again, the extra syllable may be needed for your music, but really?).

As for Bama not hearing of bluebonnets used in a lyric before, Nanci Griffith mentions them in her song "Gulf Coast Highway," (Great song!!), and so do the Dixie Chicks in "Cowboy Take Me Away."

Your usual fine job, buddy!

Greg

Hey Zman!

Ya know, love makes ya do weird things. Like buying feminine products for the lady at the grocery store. LOL!

I was just listening to whatever the muse was saying. It's not like he was with his trucking buddies picking flowers!

Thanks for the read!

Hey Blake. send this un when done. i badly need trucker songs and we got a thing calle Pattreson's Curse here that looks lovely in spring i spite of it being a weed.
I can hear them wheels a'turnin' amd smel them flowers bloomin't yep. I'm back on the road again.
I think somebody called Nashville or something passed an ugly rumour truckin' songs is dead.
Regards.
Graham

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http://artists3.iuma.com/IUMA/Bands/Graham_Henderson/

Hey Jmarie, thanks as always for stoppin' in. Ok, this is my softer sweeter side! LOL! Glad you enjoyed.

Hey Kaley, thanks for stoppin' in. I figured the first line pretty much took care of the WHERE. I could say i was driving in Texas but figured my first line gives the where he is driving. Maybe i'll see if i can make it more clear. Appreciate the input!

Mornin Blake,

Finally got a chance to look over some lyrics this morning, and I saw this title earlier and wanted to read it.

I couldn't get a real grasp on a head tune, but I trust you when you say you have one. I guess Erica picked out my nit with the allergies line, but your explanation works for me. April showers bring May flowers, Thank God for Clariton!! (the allergy medication. )

This has a bittersweet melancholy feel to it. Very nicely done. Glad to see you making time for what you love!!

Tink

Blake,

Forced to buy "you know what" at the grocery store...now THAT'S an idea to build a song around! (LOL)

Still not sure that most truckers could relate to picking flowers, but I KNOW most husbands would relate to burying certain "items" at the bottom of their shopping cart!

Chris

Hey bob, thanks for stoppin' in. Like i mentioned to Kaley, i guess i was indirectly trying to set the scene by saying he was a Texas Trucker; true, not all texas truckers would stay in Texas only. I could change that line pretty easily so i might do just that. Thanks for the read!

Thanks Harriet. That's why those 2 lines are there...i knew someone would say, truckers don't pick flowers! Thanks for reading!

Here's the Bluebonnet, the Texas state flower:



Tink

Greg, thanks for the read and suggestions; they'll definitely be taken under advisement! Gracias!

DING...........

well....I read it twice..and missed Texas both times....U sure you didn't just put that there.?. ...

i don't know now.,....maybe it is enough....with the Texas Trucker

sorry Blake and they are pretty...

Kaley

Hey Graham, thanks for taking the time to read; if i can land some music, i'll send it your way!

Tink, i appreciate the read AND for the bluebonnet post!

Hey Kaley...lol....we'll, just cause it's there doesn't mean everyone will get it! Two out of how ever many didn't catch that so maybe it needs changin;. Thanks for stoppin back in.

Blake,
Sorry I missed commenting on this the other day so Isa popping it back up! Ilove the way blueonnet sings..will say this is good writing but just as Chris....my mental image ofthe trucker" does not mesh with the flowers.....but what can I say? Other than that little nit..nice job!
Pam

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http://www.soundclick.com/pamhurley