JPF Home Page Forums General Messages General Message Forum I Give Up...What Do Men Really Want???

I have been out of circulation for 26 years so have no recent experience of my own but I am an observer of the scene and a connoisseur of women.

I agree that the observation at the beginning apply equally to men and women plus I can think of numerous examples of couples where I have wondered "what is he doing with her?" or vice versa. I once wrote a Blue Island Beer Club song called No Redeeming Features about this very situation.

For those who are looking for a relationship, I think the key is exposure to numbers of the right people of the opposite sex. You have to know the key ingredients of the person you would like to meet and then go where people like that are found. A successful relationship is built on common interests (as well as chemistry of course). So spend time with people who like the same things you do.

Want a jock? Go to the gym
Want a preacher? Go to church
Want a drunk? Go to a bar
Want a musician? Order a pizza

.....and so on. Remember the song Looking for Love in All The Wrong Places.

Hi Polly and Glynda

I know that you are looking for the Guy perspective here -- but I have an opinion- what's New there...... ha
In my life - I have pretty much made all the bad judgments and choices - and managed to make it through those. But I have come to believe that if I am meant to get another chance at doing things better in relationship-- I won't have to force the event.

The truth is there are more women on the earth now - and because we have out numbered the men - the bottom line is - not all women WILL find a mate.

add to that the number that you personally find - unsuitable for various reasons
then there's the fact that women who Are smart and available KNOW the good choices in their - home circle and are Very competitive - to win the good guys over-- very aggressive field out there!

these men Like to have a partner - so they are not available but for brief windows of time.......

as we age -- more of our contemporary males are in for the long haul already with their partners.....
add to that death and illness

so the odds go down as our age goes up

hence why many stay single -- and many start looking at younger men.......

But it's never impossible -- so just be you and be open and on the look out - I think.

Best wishes
jm

Hi Polly & Glyn'!

I think the root cause of all the Problemos is there's all this social & religious pressure to be Monogamous..especially here in America. All this focus on ONE "Perfect" Significant-Other..to satisfy ALL your Social, Mental, & Sexual Needs.

In Europe..& in many another area...(Heck, even here in Utah) there's an Awareness that Maybe it takes MORE that just ONE Person to satisfy all-that...& maybe you AREN'T "A Bad Person" if you act on it accordingly.

Of course, HERE, all our Romantic Songs focus (primarily) on that ONE Undying-Love...& most of the un-enlightened buy into that. Thus, UN-Happiness..when you find out you're dealing with REAL People/It's NOT a perfect world.

Guys Cheat because we're genetically-programmed to like Variety.
We also like Challenges, and it's far more-challenging to create a New Relationship...than in some cases to maintain an Old One.
We Cheat because, when you have our kids, then you ignore us. (Or we think you do.) We Cheat because maybe our jobs suck, but that hot little Secretary there's more-exciting than the rest of our lives..& all the other guys are in-competition. (Or in the case of the Music Field, because that New Gal is interested in Our Music & you're not.) We Cheat because Instability is more exciting than the Same Old Same Old. (Some of us Cheat because we can Afford To.)

& Why do Gals Cheat? Because New Guy's got a Bigger Car/Expense Account/Connections. Because Old Guy's TOO dependent on YOU. Too-Easy to Predict...or is having a Bad Year. Or maybe HE's too Into-Parenting for YOU/You miss the Nightlife. Or he's SO Possessive, you're teachin' him A Lesson...

Now, let's contrast all this Angst with my wife's Parisian Aunt:

She was beautiful, she was constantly-dated by a bevy of "Eligibles" yet never narrowed it down to One...and had a BALL living the Singles Life in Paris, her entire life. One of the happiest women I've ever met. Noone "pitied" Tante Ket...&..heh..she never lived in poverty a day in her life.

I think that all this pressure HERE to "Lock-Onto and Hold" that "ONE-&-ONLY" is what kills a lot of the Pleasure in a Relationship. So much PAPERWORK..So Many LAWYERS...

Now, I'll add-in that IF you & your Other want to have KIDS, that's an entirely diffo Issue (& Set Of Rules). But, in the Romance Dep't...Why is SO much taken SO Seriously by SO Many?

Married 40 years & still wondering,
Stan

PS: Mz Gem, there's gonna be MILLIONS of Unmarried Chinese Men in the near-future (Cuzza their "1 Kid-Per-Family" laws) so I'd recommend the hubby-less gals in the US start brushin' up on Chinese.)

I guess I'll reply only to the topic starter for now, since that's quite not true.

There. I said it.

Bitchy girls, by the way, are more predictable. Men don't have to guess (and hope for the best) their responses every time they want to say or do something. but still, I would take the funny, good looking and smart one.

Did anyone notice Mark Kaufman's post of some rules?

The 'characters' in his scenario came alive.

I had a sense of the character of those characters who could agree to those rules.

That's the power of words, regarding songwriting. Just the idea that a person could find a person who could step above the emotion of a heated moment to not let it become a final argument, last time situation, 'hooked' me. I saw that woman. I wanted that woman.

I'd probably piss her off and lose her. But I wanted her, or wanted to know her. She was real to me, and all from Mark's few words.

Here's Mark's post. Rule C was the one that made me suspend disbelief, to conceive of this person as a real person who could make that committed pact to never hang up, etc.


A) Find someone you really admire, who really admires you.

B) Addict each other to explosive, sensational, toe-curling sex.

C) Make a pact right away that no matter how mad you get, you'll never hang up on each other, say *bleep* you to each other, or insult each other. You can fight, you can get mad, but you can't do those three things.

Those are the only hints I have. All the rest is luck.

I have a personals ad I carried for years. I can't remember it exactly but it said something like;

DWF seeks DWM, N/S, N/D, who has a truck, whose mother is dead, and who has his own teeth.

I wanted to call her just to find out what her story was, especially the 'teeth.'

But I was afraid the truck part was about moving a couch...
or a body.

Thats easy..

Men just wantto be left alone.

Take the pressure off a guy, and he'll love you forever.

Well I am very lucky I got one in 75 and have been with her ever since we married in 77 and have had many arguments but never a battle. She puts up with me and I put up with her.

Nobody said it was it easy. I can't agree with what you said here. I think maybe there is a natural desire to look for greener grass but I don't think all the broken hearts are because of social and religious pressure.

Men want women who won't change. Women want men who will.

A man likes a woman who acts like a bitch...to someone else. Problem is, when a woman starts turning on the man, then he looks for a another woman who will act like a bitch to her. For women, it's the same thing.

Everyone is looking for their parent. Men want women who are like their mother, and women want men who are like their father.

For a man, sex leads to love. For a woman, love leads to sex. If men want more sex, they need to increase the love. For a woman, it is vice versa. For each, if they keep acting like they did while courting, things stay better for longer.

Magne is dead on the money.

Ha - and LOTS of Cubans who want a green card

It kind of shoots down my need for someone who I can easily Talk to..... ; P

What I still think most people want is one of the things usually impossible to find, honesty. Almost everyone out there is afraid to be honest to anyone of the opposite sex. I have been honest to every woman I have gotten into a relationship with since I turned 25. Even when I have been honest, none of them took me at my word for who I was, what I wanted out of life, and the fact that I wasn't going to change from what I was for anything. All of them figured they could change me into their ideal of a man after we were in a relationship. The worst part of this whole deal was I am one of those nice guys most women say they are looking for. I don't mind working for a living, am not a substance or wife abuser, enjoy making love, enjoy spoiling a woman (not nec. with goods but all the little things women say they love), would rather spend time with them than the guys at a strip club or watching sports, and fix things when they break. For all that, I've had three bad marriages. The first wife was certifiable and the next two wanted to change me after they married me. This doesn't mean I have given up on a relationship, I'm just looking in a lot different place.
My best advice, be honest and ask your partner for the same.

I think you can break it down to one fact.
Most people are A$$holes. They might not look it on first glance but they are. People are basically bad and the only thing that keeps them from doing bad things is the consequences of their actions.
Don't believe it? Look around. Look at the wars, the prisons, the poverty. The pain in your own life.
Fortunately for most of us we can recognize this. That is why most people only have a few "real" friends. The rest are acquaintances we keep at arms length.
These guys you are talking about that treat women that way will wind up alone and miserable in the end. Which is fitting because they are miserable to begin with, they just don't know it yet.

When it comes to women looking for a mate I told my Granddaughters there are four things.

Does he drive a nice car? Means he has a job.
Does he have nice teeth? He respects himself, it's a start.
Does he say "thank you"? Shows he respects you and others.
And NEVER count on a man to take care of you.

And Grandpa isn't exempt.

If any of these four are not there, fugetaboutit.

Most men and women look first at the exterior(looks) of a potential partner, (mistake), often a superior exterior will cover up an inferior interior. Some good looking women or men are so taken with their good looks that it gives them a bad personality. We use to say "she's good looking and knows it" to discribe a person with that type of personality.

I'm still married to my wife of 48 years, I was first attracted to her out going personality and good heart, her looks was just a bonus, she was not Hollywood beautiful but good looking in a wholesome way, and still is, even as she ages. A movie type good looks on a man or woman will fade with time, but a superior personality will remain true to the end. A beautiful person in looks only, will often become more bitter in personality as they lose their most prized possession through the years. They will fight tooth and nail to hold onto it with makeup and plastic surgery. Sex is great, especially when you are young, but a relationship should not be based on it alone, it has a tendency to fade in importance as you age. Personality, dependability, honesty, are just a few traits that are important in a lasting relationship, they will not fade while other attractive attributes will.

PS Don't forget to include God in your relationship.

Ok,
Here it is.

First: A real sharp car, maybe even a Convertible.
Second: A few dozen guns so we can go hunting.
Third: Going out with the boys, on a regular basis.
Forth: Uh, I forget what forth is.......

Heck, I'll throw in my two cents. Haven't read thru the whole thread, so if I'm repeating something, sorry.

Here are some observations -- which are sweeping generalizations -- but which I do believe apply. I suspect I'll be setting back "women's lib" a few decades, but nevertheless....

1. Men are competitive and like a challenge. Make yourself too available, too eager, and remove that element of "the chase" ...the man might look right past you. This I think explains the bitch factor too: she might act like she doesn't want him -- thus further enticing him. I'm not suggesting game playing...but a little mystery is always appealling.

2. Statistically speaking, the older you get and you're still unattached, it raises a red-flag: what's wrong with her? This goes both ways -- how many girlfriends start dating a single 45 year old, and you warn her he's probably too attached to his mother or he's a commitment-phobe, etc. There's nothing to do about this per se...just be yourself. If you put on an "act" for his benefit, that's exhausting and ultimately fruitless.

3. Okay, I'll probably be beheaded for this one, but I think there is something to be said for being "a lady in public, a whore in the bedroom" (obviously, those aren't the best terms, but you know what I mean). I think this can be a turn-on for both partners: how hot is it for a woman to be wearing sexy lingerie under her business suit"? I think too it keeps the all-important element of fun alive.

Alright, enough said. Likely these are not popular views, but again, I'm just sharing some thoughts, since you asked.

So good luck to both of you....though Polly, I thought it was back "ON" with Andy -- no?

Ciao for now,
Beth

P.S. Broken limbs must be taken into consideration vis-a-vis the whole "whore" business. But the clever and industrious gal can incorporate it...being the "patient who needs tending to", etc.

P.P.S. I re-read this, and it DOES smack of advice from Teenage Boy's Monthly . Still, while some points are legit and others perhaps tongue-in-cheek...I'll leave it up to you to suss out the good stuff ...

OK - I usually steer clear of these kinds of issues/posts, but figured I would throw-in my two, deflated cents. I think the question should be "What do I want?" I believe no relationship can function until each person is whole. It sounds simple and trite, but until you love yourself and learn to accept yourself, no one will be able to love you back and accept you. Decide what you want, become that person, and a man will come along. If he's worthy, you take him..if he's a jerk, you move on. It's not about what the man wants.

"And that's all I have to say about that"..she says, using her Forest Gump voice.

I think it's dangerous to assume that you can lump people together based on their chromosomal patterns.
The minute you start saying "all of this kind of people", you start treading on a slippery slope. Sexism and racism (and all manners of prejudice) are kin.
Just because I have a Y chromosome doesn't mean that I "want" the same things as someone else with one. I may actually have more in common with someone who doesn't have a Y chromosome.

Post deleted by Tom Tracy

Rule #1...A woman will pick guy who's a douche bag over a good man EVERY time!

This reminds me of the great speech in Team America – which I won’t repeat here

He speaketh the truth!

I agree, try the Sound Check thread instead, it’s a breeze in comparison

Back to ya, Mz Gem, re the Chinese Guys...

I'm married to a "Furriner" myself, as a result of HAVING to pass Foreign Language back in college. Most Americans aren't multi-lingual, to their detriment. (Most of the Rest of The World DOES speak several languages. My bro in law speaks 5..my wife, 3.)

&..thanks to many a gruelling hour in the language lab, I'm blessed with a fine French Woman who puts up with me. (& frankly, is SO faithful, I'm kinda shamed by-her-example, to NOT wander on her, in spite of my Earlier Observations.) &, in HER Culture, they still have 2-Hour-Lunch-Breaks, so the successful businessmen there can HAVE their Affairs, without wasting a minute of Family Life when they get home from work.

C'est bien pratique, n'est-ce pas? (Pardon my French.)

The mere fact that my wife'd accept whatever behavior I might WISH to veer off-to and still keep me is, I think, one of the many reasons I DON'T feel the NEED to veer-off & disappoint her.
(Tho, yeah, years ago I just hadda do it/we lived thru it.)

Nobody promises Rose Gardens..but..never a Rose Garden ever Grew without a little S--t in the Soil. (Or Merde, if you're speakin' French!) Perhaps the Euros have "Lowered Expectation Levels", but methinks they need less of a Reality Check, via their Culture.

Waal..back to Observing... Best Wishes/Big Hugs/Wee Forehead Smooch (The French do it So Well, too!)
Stan

Ok I will break it to ya gently.

Men are jerks. (Hate to generalize BUT we are.)

Both sexes have to accept what the other brings to the table flaws and all AND to understand that 99% of the time what one does, even if the other thinks they are involved,has nothing to do with the other.

"Peoples is peoples."

Doug

Polly, I sent you a PM. Had an idea. (About the song.)

Joe

What do YOU really want?

Polly, maybe you're just finding the wrong men for you, or focusing on them too much. That problem would then be yours to correct, not the guys', in my respectful opinion. Guys are what they are, no matter what type. Just find the right type for you, if you know what type that would be. shouldn't take long to know whether someone is cool for you or not,,,right? Guys are transparent, aren't we?

Maybe you are attractive to the very men you don't want long term? Maybe they are attractive to you, assuming a lot. ???

All I really know is that my wife somehow puts up with me. Maybe compared to others in her past, I'm the better of the worse. ???

Unless an Opie with porno star skills, you will have to settle for the best of your type pick. Then hope for the best, but know that may not be your ideal best.

I try to not to be a pig, but the instincts yell otherwise at times. Some men can't ignore the inner yells. Find the ones that can, or at leas try.

It's all up to you. The women decide when we have sex, dinner, vacations, visits, kids, etc., etc. Decide also who you will give just a try for just talking!

Good luck!

John

PS (Thought you already had someone from this site that was the cure all?) ????

For inquiring minds...that didn't work out.

I absolutely REFUSE to play games. I refuse. If that makes me single the rest of my life, so be it. I WILL answer the phone when I'm home. I WILL be myself at all times. I WILL express my feelings and make my needs known. I love without holding back...otherwise, why do it at all?

I guess that's why I don't get a great guy. It sucks too, because I am a great catch. I just refuse to play stupid games or put up with anyone who does.

I did figure out what I wanted. I want someone who is smart, funny, spontaneous, musically inclined, is affectionate, gives compliments, respects me, treats me well, is capable of monogamy, loves my heart, and is my best friend. I won't settle for less. I would rather be alone than settle and be miserable.

It is my experience the people who have the best marriages are somehow aligned with Jesus Christ. Now, I must admit, I know more Christians than those of another faith. I've seen some bad things in Christian relationships too but the ones that work the most seem to have some alignment with Christian teachings. I've also seen seemingly happy marriages outside of a Christian connection but they are few and far between. That's my experience.

If you decide to look in Christian environments, be aware not everyone who claims to be a Christian actually is.

I'm a Universalist. My church, Garden Park Unity, believes in the positive messages of all religions, with an emphasis on Christianity, but they don't overlook positive teachings of other religions. That's the only denomination I'm comfortable with.

Hey Polly,

I'm familiar with the Universalist church. If you're so inclined to tell me, here or in a PM, I'm always interested in why people are uncomfortable with more traditional Christianity.

Well, to be honest, my dad is an ordained Protestant minister, and through the years, traditional Christianity just made less and less sense to me. If you look at the whole picture...the Earth being millions of years old, the galaxy being beyond human comprehension, as well as the concept of eternity, I just wasn't so comfortable with "the old guy in the white robe" anymore. I'm not even comfortable with God being referred to as "He". God, TO ME, is a loving presence that is beyond human comprehension, but the teachings aren't. God is everything and anything. Christianity has some pretty absurd ideas TO ME. My father, btw, is a Quaker now. Religion has always been personal to me. I don't try to get other people to believe what I do. I always respected my dad for that too, and Quakers are really pure in their belief. Their meetings are in silence. One only speaks if moved by God to do so. The rest is all prayer and meditation...not some preacher screaming out what he believes to be the truth and trying to pound it into people's heads, and you're damned if you don't agree.

The Bible is all about interpretation. It was written 2,000 years ago by people who believed the Earth was flat. I like the ideas in it, about people taking care of eachother and loving eachother. But some of it doesn't make much sense to me. I don't down anyone who completely believes in every bit of it, that is their right, and I respect them and their belief. I'm just more comfortable personally with the Unitarian perspective.

Polly
I tell people all the time, big difference between faith and religion for sure. It is much harder to walk the walk then talk the talk. You are a very good person, and you show it to everyone, Gods love is in your heart and that is enough. Seems to me it can all be summed up in this one verse. Believe me I don't preach ... for me this is the one the defines me. The one that I try to walk the walk with cause everything else ... don't matter

1cor13

1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Polly, those were great sentiments, up above there. Rearranged only slightly, I think that's a chorus.

Best of luck with the job. Hope it doesn't get in the way of the band gig.

joe

Polly I stopped posting about religion and politics after ruffling a lot of feathers and upsetting people who did not agree with me. I must say however that you pretty much nailed it for me. I agree with just about everything you say. The Bible was written by man translated by man and interpreted by man therefore it contains mans flaws. It was about a way of life and the customs they adopted thousands of years ago and contains the naivety ignorance and failings of the men who wrote it. It does also contain some wise words. Sadly people pick and choose what they want to adopt from it. They omit parts and add in their own things to create religion. There are loads of different beliefs worldwide each has its own rules regs and customs....Wars and many deaths have been caused because of the differences between religions and beliefs. They cannot all be right. So I "Mr
logical" say all of them are wrong for the very reasons that religion causes more harm than good and if there was a benevolent caring god he could put everything right instantly.

While I don't want this to totally turn into a religious discussion, I have to disagree with this portion of your post. My take is, they all CAN BE right...even my dad believes that all religions have extremely similar messages...they all meet on a higher level. My dad actually believes that Jesus, and Budda, and Allah all existed and all appeared to their people in a way that people would accept them, to get God's message across. God is a loving presence that presides over everything and exists in everything...and if we subscribe to it completely, we are given the strength to survive the horrors that rear their ugly heads in the every day human existence. I believe that when we die, we are returned to that "energy" and become God (even though we are God right now). Humans can't comprehend God, but if we be still, and put our egos in check, we can be in touch with the part of ourselves that IS God. God is oneness. We are all connected. That energy is Universal.

God, I sound like Calvin!

I am a cougar and I want to do the chasing, no really, i'm too old, could we just please by pass, or skip the chase part and get down to being together, any takers.....glyn

I believe the Bible. The Bible tells me my heart is deceitfully wicked and I've found that to be true. My best intentions often come mixed with greed and lust. I find no matter how many times I've proven myself wrong, I still think I'm right far too often. The Bible calls that pride. I tell people I love them but you know what, I've hurt everyone I love at least once.

If I don't believe the Bible, who should I believe? Should it be the politicians? Should it be people who make vows of "death till us do part" but never make it nearly that far? Should it be the reporters on Fox TV or the reporters on CNN? Should it be entertainers like Tom Hanks or Pam Anderson or Paris Hilton or Enimem or George Strait or Brad Pitt or Alan Jackson? Should it be the police? Should it be Rush Limbaugh? Should it be the lawyers? Should it be the OB-GYN, a podiatrist, or a pathologist? Should it be WWE wrestlers or NFL quarterbacks or NBA centers? Who will tell me the truth?

I choose to believe the Bible. I can't find where it's led me to destruction. I believe in Jesus. I can't find any guile in Him.

And what has He asked of me?

Micah 6:8
and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?

Matthew 11:28
Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

John 14:15
If ye love me, keep my commandments.

Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God:

Luke 10:27
And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbor as thyself.

ok,I'm just kidding....don't want to date but would like to have someone that cares, you know

I don`t know Polly, and Glyn, I think there is something that goes off between two people,
call it what you want, soul-mate what ever. She says..I don`t like the way he eats soup, but i`m willing to put up with it cause I love him. He dislikes something she does
and the same thought. no matter what rises or falls, win or loss there is that perfect place between them. maybe we are all looking for that. we can`t create it,it just goes off. with the basics, we teach each other... my thought.

the two hardest drives in a man are 1.survival 2.reproduction the second might answer the question Why isn`t he who he said he was. if men are being honest the second thought right after...man she`s hot" who do I got to be to get her britches off...lol. I`m not saying it applies to every man, but if you took a survey this column would fill up pretty quick.
I don`t know about woman, I think they like the hint of danger, "badboy badass" I think women have a tendency to pick these men for strength.
a woman needs to know she will be protected. that could be a drive in that gender..not sure, maybe something to do with offspring.
if I was at your door-step after the fight, bleeding, hurt and weak, full of love kindness, tolerance and was willing to give it to you..you would want to meet the man that put me there. [that kind of thing]
Polly I agree with most of that theory on religion.

So many good thoughts here...I was married for 32 years...I just recently got married to my second wife...There is no magic bullet here...We (ex-wife) became complacent and thought another might be the answer to whatever the heck might be ailing us...IMHO..If you think you can change someone...I wish you well...compromising decision's may serve you....a quick fix..all the time..My Dad and Mom were married for over 50 years...no huge secrets here...He always thought he had control...but Mom knew different...the secret (as she told me) was actually convincing my Dad that he was making the important decsion's in life......

They were both correct...


Larry

O.k.. What do men REALLY want? Speaking strictly for myself... An attractive 21 year old deaf- mute with big hooters, and a flat head to sit my beer while she tends to my every whim... She must also be a good house keeper, and financially independent.

I got a Big Kick outta Bob's Observation, & usually..he's Right!

I also remember that Ann Landers' Poll...where 75% of the Respondents said "They'd Never-Again get married."

I truly envy the Kids who Marry Their HS Sweethearts...'cuz they're prolly lots-less likely to have to deal with Heartache than the rest of us are. (My sister's been so-blessed/they make a Perfect Couple...over 28 years so far.)

What do Guys AND Gals Want? To be Happier than back when they were Single. (Take As-Directed/Avoid Dependancy...)

G'Nighty All,
Stan

I just miss that man in the house, heck I even miss that lil' poke in your back, you guys know, when he's wake up in a loving mood..and i'd have my back to em'. I miss his breath on my neck, that man scent, that man power, the feel of his warm body next to mine in the dark in the middle of the night, just knowing he's there in the bed with me. Hearing him come in from work, waiting to see his face and after years of being together, still feel that warm feeling in my heart and feel the smile on my face forming..knowing how it feels to have someone, to have that love for that other person that belongs to you and you belong to them..finding yourself smiling in the middle of the day over something he said or did that made you laugh, or that hurt feeling you had over something he did or said, even though it might just be a small thing, but it hurt..the making up over a fight. that feeling of laying in his arms and you could lay right there and not care of you ever had to get up, not wanting the night to end..that kiss that drives you wild..the laughs, giggles, the funny stupid things you did together that no one else would consider funny..I miss looking across the room and see him sleeping in his chair, that spit rolling down his mouth and the stupid look on his face, but that feeling that your heart belongs to this man..the little things you let him get away with, like when you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in..cause he left the seat up..I miss all the things that I used to get mad at him over, those stupid little things that should not have mattered anyway, I miss the things that I couldn't stand before, and I missed them cause that comes along with him..I have so much love to give, so much that is just wasting away..I do love to be in love so much, that I miss the most..to see something and want to get it for him, to suprise him with little things..I miss that tap on my head when he'd pass me..I miss that smirk when i'd tell him how much I loved him...and get this--how big i'd tell him he was--man, like instant power...I miss all this..all the things I took for granted, those things I can't bring back, those feelings I can't feel by myself..and hey, it can't be with just anyone, it has to be the love you feel for that other person, I feel i'm gettin too old now and my chances of being in love again have passed me by..I love to cut up and make people laugh..but man, I really do miss that man...I really do miss that man..I can live alone, but it would feel so good, to feel that little poke in my back from time to time, you know......just cause it's him on the other end of it......love you guys........glyn

Believe in yourself and in helping mankind and our planet. You do not need a bible to know right from wrong.....Heck I know a lot of bible thumpers who don't know and a lot of atheists who do. There are a lot of bible readers who cannot agree on much.
Take a look at Ireland.

Those are all nice sentiments you expressed in post 774606 Glynda. What would you give in return?

Humm,
I've got at least one song about this very subject. It's called TAKE A CHANCE. Hope to have it, as well as some others up on a Web Site in the next few weeks.

Not every one is compatiable with everyone else. But it is better to find it out first thing if possible.

Well it is a mystery I am sure - just as it is a mystery why women like some men. If you swap "men" and "women" in your post, it still makes sense. Hard to know why women like some men who act very badly.

That being noted, you make a good point. It is difficult to understand why it happens like that - not very fair.....

Tom

Hey Polly and Glynda,

At the risk of self promotion, a newly released song, just for you girls..... play it loud !

Brand New Plan .... http://www.iacmusic.com/songs.aspx?SongID=79987&ArtistID=129785

cheers, niteshift

Lane, that's not for me. I'm so over "bad boys". I want the nice guy with a good heart. I'm sure I could take care of his reproductive drive! lol

Bob, you're such a HOOT!

Larry, sounds similar to my folks...been married 50 years, but there was no mistake about who was in control. It was MOM! She's 13 years younger than my dad, but she rules the roost and Dad adores her. They're having a blast traveling now that they're retired. It's so cute...'cuz Mom will plan a trip, and Dad will gripe about having to go, then when they get back he's all excited and telling about how cool it was!

Everything Glyn said is how I feel...only...I don't miss anyone from my past...rather I want to find that guy and love him with all of my heart. I would never try to change a person. BUT, everyone has deal breakers...those have to come out up front.

Bob makes a good point (though it is reminiscent of "Extreme Makeover--Home Edition"). But it works both ways, I think. Say you *are* a 21-year-old deaf mute with big hooters, a flat head for beer-setting, financially independent, a good housekeeper, and willing to tend to my every whim... (and you have contacted me about a long-term relationship). What do *you* want out of *me*?

Joe