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http://www.soundclick.com/bandAdmin...fo&bandID=1013767&songid=8400583

Send Me One More Soldier

I made it back from the front line
But my platoon had been diminished
My captain sent me back on point
Cuz the mission wasn’t finished

He radioed for reinforcements
They had nothin’ to say
It was tough out there
Thought I was gonna die that day

He said

Send me one more soldier
Send one to me
We’ll hold ‘em as long as we can
So I think you better hurry
Send me one more soldier
You better make it three
A warrior fightin’ on bended knee

When I returned stateside to Louisiana
I met an angel at an old truck stop
He took me inside his Kingsley Conversion
That he said that God had bought

Sweet sweet music poured out his soul
As we both began to pray
I felt my spirit—oh tremblin’
For the words he had to say

He said

Send me one more soldier
Send one to me
I’m tryin’ to make the world
A better place to be
Send me one more soldier
You better make it three
A warrior fightin’ on bended knee

So if you wanna get to Heaven
Ya gotta follow God’s plan
Cuz when He calls up His people
They will understand

When God says

Send me one more soldier
To sit next to me
No more strugglin’ and fightin’ for eternity
Send me one more soldier
You better make it three
A warrior fightin’ on bended knee

© 2007 JD Stenzel / Dale Pulliam All Rights Reserved

I haven't seen your stuff before, so welcome to the JPF. Very enjoyable song. The singer has a good voice. The chorus comes across pretty well.

"But my platoon had been diminished" -- I think you should re-think this line. "demolished" might work better. "Diminished" doesn't come across as conversational.

Nice ending.

Kevin

Thanks Kevin for your insight. I took the liberty of listening to a few tunes of yours as well. Countrified Man struck me as a song with good potential. I thing more twang in the vocals, change "children" to KIDS and do away with "Country-bred" and you've got a hit on your hands. Well done. Again, thank you for your thoughts on my song.

All My Best,
JD

Oh--Kevin...just a question...if my platoon had been, as you suggested, "demolished," how could there be a captain left to send me back on point? Just havin' a lil fun with ya Kevin lol.

JD

Demolished or diminished - well I'm Danish and my linguistics will be like a seven years old boy so both works for me, but I think that this is a great song with a good sound.
Ken

Worked well for me great vocals and music but I seem to be somewhat of a cheerleader here, lol. Welcome to JPF!

Great song, beautiful production work ...perfect vocal
I like this song so very much
wonderful hook by the way
great job ... wow
impressed me for sure ... wow
Dan

Kevin, Ken and Naomi--

Thank you so much for taking the time to review my material! It means a lot to me to hear your opinions. Please also be sure to check into the six or so lyrics I've posted on Lyric Forum 3. That would mean a lot to me also.

Again...thank you
JD

I should probably mention that my cowriter (vocalist/guitarist) is Dale Pulliam, who, at the time, was a producer for ABC's General Hospital. He got with me based on some strong lyrics I had written, and he said he'd love to moonlight as a country singer. I hope he one day goes for it, because I agree--he's good!

JD

That's quite a compliment, Dan. I'm humbled by such responses to this song. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

JD

Nice song but Sorry I couldn't listen My space don't work so well for Me

Cheers

Great song JD.

I think you got the music and tone of the vocals spot on.

Roy

We're even; I couldn't get your SoundClick page to open from your link, but thanks for reading, and the comment!

All My Best
JD

Thanks Roy. I visited your music as well. I liked "Don't Forget My Name" quite a bit, but all of it leads me to conclude you're pretty talented too. Again, thanks for stopping by and listening!

All My Best,
JD

Hi JD

Wow, all these new faces on JPF, welcome, very nice to meet you.

Your song is very well done, YIPEE, what a site. I look forward to listening to more of your songs, nice voice, great production.

Aussie fan
Hugs Michele

Thank you, Michele! I took the liberty of clicking and listening to "Don't Push My Button" and found it well-done and fun. I love an Aussie girl's voice! Maybe one day I'll get lucky and find me a SINGLE one! LOL. Kudos and thanks--congratulations on your aparent wedding, by the way.

All My Best
JD

Howdy, Gus here, found this back on page 5. Good lyrics, I'll give folks another look . elevator up

Here's a few ideas to think about.

1.) The first chorus is well setup by the "shrinking in size" platoon. The "send me one more soldier" makes a lot of sense.

2.) The second time around is a "kingsely conversion" conversion and the need for "one more soldier" is not setup. I just think verse two is too abrupt in it's changes.

3.) I had a minor issue with the "angel". I just think the intended audience is going to think that it is a "she", but it turns out to be a "he". Not really much of an issue (maybe), but the audience goes one way and then has to be pulled back, losing continuity.

So, verse 1/chorus 1 are fine. Verse two just doesn't work for me. I would establish that he is older, maybe he is a preacher or works for one. They are overwhelmed with the suffering of our world and they are then asking for "one more soldier".

Might be hard to work it all in verse 2, so maybe a verse-bridge would be required, making the song a V-Ch-V-Bridge-Ch format (might work, might not).

Good luck with it.

Kevin

Thanks for that... I'd recently edited my soundclick page name and yeah the current one in my signature is wrong should be www.soundclick.com/noeldownsandfriends

Not selling but you should consider a soundclick site... they seemed to have the smoothest player and it's also free.

Cheers

I listened to all of them; my favorite was the Pass The Jug Squaredance Song, next...Mary and Ethane, next...To the Beat of the Pipes and Drums, next...I followed the Call. I like your songwriting; I like your style. Not the greatest singer, but as a songwriter you do more than well enough to get the song across, and I enjoyed the listen. Thank you for fixing that link!

All My Best
JD

It's on SoundClick now...I changed the main posting link.

JD

Really nice message JD. Like the lyric. Good going.

Steve

I thank you Little Stevie! I'm glad you enjoyed it. That was a fun collab.

JD

Good song. I really like the vocalist. Is he open to do demo work for hire?

Yes. His name is Dale Pulliam (see my facebook friends). He and Steven Beasley'll hook you right up.

Tell him JD sent ya--
JD

Everett-

Thank you, by the way, for that warm comment.

JD

JD, SB..(cool handle, my brain does stunts but they aren't the kind you brag about). I don't know why this isn't being played on both country and Christian stations. It's really good. I liked how it played out, from the solider on bended knee in battle to the soldier of Christ on bended knee in prayer. Dale did a nice job selling this for you too.

I don't see myself as being a braggart--only confident. I'll work on facelifting my projections.

Wendy, nevertheless, your comment was thoughtful and appreciated. Dale DID do a great job selling this, I agree wholeheartedly, for which I'm eternally grateful to him.

Take Care, and Thanks-
JD

Wendy...since you took the time...so did I. I love your music too! You're a little bit Nora, a little bit Joni, a little bit Sheryl--and a whole lot cool. I love your voice, too. Kudos.

JD

JD The more I listen to this song the more I agree with Kevin about the word "diminished". It seems to stand out more than anything else in the song. I think that would be the only thing I would change about it. Other than that it's still a good song and the vocals are very nice.

Naomi Sue

My apologies, JD. That was supposed to be a reference to my own shortcomings and not to imply anything about you. I think "My Stunt Brain" is a great handle. As you can tell, I've made my own case when it comes the virtues of my brain stunts. Yikes! Sorry, again!

Thanks for listening to my stuff, by the way.

Oh and I like the word "diminished." Perhaps it's not entirely conversational but it strikes me as the sort of word that would be incorporated into a soldier's vocabulary. Just my vote..

I love this song enjoyed Da Listen.Added a link to your soundclick song page from my group Da Gospel Music Links.~ (~;LARRYBOY;~)

Naomi--


Wendy--

Clever that you understood military lingo enough to see why I chose that word...you, sweetness...are the ONLY one so far to understand that. Military types get it, and won't give it a second thought.

As for adding this song on the station on SoundClick, Larry--as my message to you on SoundClick reflects, I'm deeply humbled, and thankful to you. Bless you!

All My Best-
JD