JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Track 3 I'm Over it/I'm Over you/Michele's vocal!

Hi all, oops, I meant Take 3 sorry!

I am currently so busy at present, but here it is, my first vocal take on it, so Stan, Rodney and I would appreciate any feedback or suggestions before we finish this song off. Thanks!

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8364346

"I'm Over It (I'm Over You)" (C) 2009 by Michelle Bolton/Stan Good, BMI

Too-Many Late Nights I Waited 'Till You Got Back
Too-MANY "Last Warnings"..NOW You're OUT in The Trash
I'm the only thing you had I didn't throw in the yard
So When You Stagger Back-Home..DON'T be lookin FOR The CAR...

(CLIMB)
'Cuz I put on My Jeans & Dried My Eyes
I took the cage with the bird inside

(CHORUS)
Cuz I'M OVER IT/I'M OVER YOU
I DROVE OFF With the COCKATOO
This BIRD OF YOURS Knows WHAT-TO-DO NOW
I'M OVER IT/I'M OVER YOU!

'Guess What I Felt for You has Come To Pass
Now Let's SEE How Far I GET on One Tank of Gas
I'll Leave This Ol' Car..when it quits..by The Side of The Road
I'll put the bird in the suitcase and see how far we go (Ah she's joken') Cockatoo impersonator.

(CLIMB)
Singing together as we walk along
It Doesn't really matter if the words are wrong

(CHORUS)
Cuz, I'M OVER IT/I'M OVER YOU
You Can KEEP Sleepin' With the KANGAROOS
I'll BET You'll MISS These Birds That-FLEW
But I'M OVER IT/I'M OVER YOU!--

(BRIDGE)
I'm SORRY, Mate, IF I RUFFLED Your FEATHERS..
But LIVIN' With This PARROT
Is Giving Me FAR-MORE Pleasure

Oh Yeah What a Jerk!
(Yeah he's a jerk) Cockatoo impersonator

Instrumental

(CHORUS)
I'M OVER IT/I'M OVER YOU
This BIRD Talks MORE..to Me..It's TRUE!
It's a Whole LOT-FRIENDLIER & Sings GOOD, Too!
I'M OVER IT

(CHORUS 2)
I'M OVER IT/I'M OVER YOU
There's NO MORE Tellin' Me WHAT-TO-DO
So have fun Kiss'n those Kangaroos
Cuz I'M OVER IT/I'M OVER YOU...

(TAG)
You're Bein' REPLACED
By a COCK-A-TOO...{WINK-WINK!}
Cuz I'M OVER IT
I'M OVER YOU
I'M OVER YOU
I'M OVER YOU
I'M OVER YOU

G'bye Mate ( Cockatoo impersonator)

(All Rights Reserved.)

Stan Good/Michele Bolton/Rodney Auld


Hugs

Michele

A rockin' good song Michele. Man you can sing. Great lyric.
Steve

This is so GREAT! I LOVE this song (and your accent!) You have a great voice, Michele! I like the line about how the bird talks more to her than "he" does. I love the musication too. Good job!

Hi Michele , this is great, I heard it when the guy sung it, but hey it's alot better now with you singing it..very well done, i'm so proud of you...glyn

Hi Steve

A big thanks for listening, so happy to hear you like it, we really appreciate it hey.

Hi Polly

Thanks so much, it's funny when you say about my accent, cause I love all your accents, cute. I really love singing this song, but I feel if I had singing lessons, I could probably do a lot better in places hey.

We appreciate your lovely compliments.

Hi Glynda

To tell you the truth I was really worried about you, so it's really nice to see you here. Thanks Glyn, I'm so pleased you like it, and thanks for your sweet words. EXtra hug for you, stay well okay.

Lv to all, Michele

The chorus really rocks out on this one. This is a fun tune you have going on. Keep plugging away. You voice is sounding really good. You will still need to re-cut the vocals another time or two to get it as good as you possibly can. To me, this take was slightly on the nasally side -- no problem if you are the artist, but if you are pitching this song, you'll want clearer vocals.

Great tune you all have cockatoo'd up!

Kevin

Hi Kevin

I really appreciate your honesty, this about my comfortability with my voice, and yes I agree it needs to be better, so I need to practice more, and maybe I should go and get some singing lessons hey but that costs more money. As to the nasal, hmm, I think it's cause I SMOKE, bad habit hah. I have a husky voice, I don't think it's nasal, but I could be wrong.

I can hear where I need to improve, but I did okay for a learner hah. Thanks so much Kevin, we appreciate your feedback, and nice to know we've COCKATOO'D UP.

Big hug
Michele

Nasal wasn't the word I wanted to say -- but since I couldn't think of the actual word, "nasal" came the closest (sorry about that). By now, you shouldn't have any problems being comfortable singing -- you are doing really well. Singing/Voice lessons would be a great idea, but it really always depends on who your teacher is.

Good luck with this one, you are doing great.

Kevin

Hi again Kevin

That was quick reply, thank you so much for your support and encouraging words, I really appreciate it. Yes I think singing/lessons will be a good thing, I have to look around for a good teacher. And by the way, you don't have to apologize at all, I wasn't at all offended.

Now where is my other partner STAN GOOD????

Big Hug Kevin
Michele

Hi Michele Not bad for a beginner LOL....GREAT ROCKING TRACK...very clever lyrics....I like the light hearted comedy take on a serious subject.....it works very well.
Lessons would help.....that said you are in pitch and that is the most important thing.....Kevin is right..... you need to project more from the mouth rather than from the nose. I get the feeling you are holding back....Open your mouth more belt it out and try to let it come from the chest. If you place your hand at the top of your chest you should feel the vibrations. The stronger they are the more you are singing from the chest. Watch out on some of the pronunciation....nothing wrong with singing with an accent but all words must still be clearly understood. There were a few times the lyrics were not clear.
Well done....I am being hypercritical.....but only to try and help.

Hi Jim

Thanks so much, I will give that a go and see if that helps, I probably am holding back, cause I lack confidence hey, and as to some of the words not clear, Rodney changed the way I was singing the bridge, and I really love the way he's got me singing it, so I found that difficult hey, and also he suggested changing the second line in the second climb, in which I really think that's heaps better too, I just need to practice singing it that way hah.

Back to the garage to practice, keep being critical, your feed back helps, and it means a lot to me.

As to my producer Rodney, he just rocks hah, that's what you call talent, I absolutely love the music for this, and he done great with the harmonies too.

Stan, and I think the lyrics on this is very clever, and it was worth all our efforts, with Rodney's touches as well, it's a HOOT.

Off to bed, it's midnight here, got lots to do tomorrow. Goodnight.

Hugs
Michele

Michele it IS a confidence thing...when you get into the song it is pretty good in places..... you seem to find a comfort level lose nervousness and let yourself go....try and do that right from the start...you did sound a bit tentative and unsure at the start but that seemed to get less as the song went along and confidence grew. This may sound crazy but sometimes a few loud YEE HA's and a couple of REBEL yells just before you record to clear the air, get you in the mood and your voice going will help. BUT do not strain the vocal cords...

Hi Michelle

This is a super effort on the vocals. I feel that as you sing it more that you will become more comfortable - so keep practicing. May be I sensed a bit that you are needing to still think about the delivery, etc... so you maybe are not totally 'feeling' the piece yet. I also had a good 'note' in regards to where the sound comes from.... if you can think of it this way --- the best and purest sound comes from an OPEN throat..... there are various degrees of opening when we sing and sometimes the muscles in our throat are actually cutting off the sound by closing.... when this was explained to me - I started to pay attention to the difference internally and it has helped me deliver sound better as I practice.

Anyway
my favorite part of this is

You Can KEEP Sleepin' With the KANGAROOS

Very Good Line !! ; )

jm

Hi Michele and Stan,

This is another fun uptempo making light of love-gone-wrong songs. I love how your personality shines thru. I think the guys make some helpful suggestions to even give the lyric more spunk if you choose to. This song cries for a complimentary video that would be so amusing, watching this lady leaving while clumsily trying to include the bird and all their mishaps on the road. I can really visualize it. They even stop for icecream or something and the bird shares licks of the tasty treat, etc.

My only issues are some parts of the lyric concerning the bird which is almost like a hook in itself. A few questions:

1. in your bridge you refer to the cockatoo as a parrot, is it? If it is then that's fine if not, you'll need something else there like "chirping pal", etc.

2. I like progressive Chorus' where the lyrics change a bit and take the story further but I think I would leave out the "sleeping w/kangaroos" line since I don't get that part which means I won't be the only one and rather I would keep the cockatoo line but maybe instead of using the same line as in your first Chorus "I drove off with the Cockatoo" (which should really say "I drove off with your Cockatoo" which means it was his bird so he'll be doubly mad ) and change the 2nd Chorus and 3rd Chorus to keep the bird as the hook and show progression of the story. I repeat these are just ideas to consider but I think it would be fun.

3. Since it seems like the bird is so much the story and hence your main idea/hook you could even change the title and have it be "I'm Leaving With Your Cockatoo" (a much more interesting title) which means your Chorus would be like this:

"I'm leaving with your Cockatoo"
I'm over us, I'm over you
Etc.

In other words here is what the lyric might look like:


"I'm Leaving With Your Cockatoo"

Too-Many Late Nights I Waited 'Till You Got Back
Too-MANY "Last Warnings"..NOW You're OUT in The Trash
I'm the only thing you had I didn't throw in the yard
So When You Stagger Back-Home..DON'T be lookin FOR The CAR...

(CLIMB)
'Cuz I put on My Jeans & Dried My Eyes
I took the cage with your/our bird inside

(CHORUS)
I'M LEAVING WITH YOUR COCKATOO
I'M OVER US I'M OVER YOU
THIS BIRD OF YOURS WILL CURE MY BLUES
I'M LEAVING WITH YOUR COCKATOO

'Guess What I Felt for You has Come To Pass
Now Let's SEE How Far I GET on One Tank of Gas
I'll Leave This Ol' Car..when it quits..by The Side of The Road
I'll put the bird in the suitcase and see how far we go (Ah she's joken') Cockatoo impersonator.

(CLIMB)
Singing together as we walk along
It Doesn't really matter if the words are wrong

(CHORUS)
I'M FLYING WITH YOUR COCKATOO
WE'RE FLYING FREE THE SKY IS BLUE
I'M OVER US I'M OVER YOU
I'M FLYING WITH YOUR COCKATOO



(BRIDGE)
I'm SORRY, Mate, IF I RUFFLED Your FEATHERS..
But LIVIN' With This PARROT
Is Giving Me FAR-MORE Pleasure

Oh Yeah What a Jerk!
(Yeah he's a jerk) Cockatoo impersonator

Instrumental

(CHORUS)
I'M LIVING WITH YOUR COCKATOO
This BIRD Talks MORE..to Me..It's TRUE!
It's a Whole LOT-FRIENDLIER & Sings GOOD, Too!
I'M HAPPY WITH YOUR COCKATOO

(TAG)
You're Bein' REPLACED
By a COCK-A-TOO...{WINK-WINK!}
Cuz I'M OVER IT
I'M OVER YOU
I'M OVER YOU
I'M OVER YOU
I'M OVER YOU

Best of bird songs,
Lynn

I'll be back tomorrow, or maybe Stan can jump on board for me, cause I have just finished doing some work for my brother's business, and it is now 2.44am in the morning, and I do need to get some sleep tonight.

I'm exhausted!

Thanks, hugs
Michele

I liked it !!!! only a few places I woulda changed to make it more singable and flow but for the most part it was good on ya!

Hi Michele/Stan,

This is real nice song, well written !!.
I enjoyed your singing !!
Good job girl, you're doing very well.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

My dear Aussie friend
YOU ROCK!!! nuff said, great job

Dan

Sounds great ... may want to work on the pronuciation of that first rimeing pair... just a little bumby JMO

Nice work

Cheers

Hi Jim

Yes, for some reason I'm not confident with the first verse, so thanks I will work on it, and I will try doing that YEE HAH'S and see if that helps.

Big hug
Michele

Hi Joice

Thanks for reminding me, my singing teacher I had in Bendigo used to get me working on opening my mouth more, so I will work on it, I appreciate all your feedback, so it's back to the garage hah, I really don't mind though, cause I love this song, it's stuck in my head, and lots of fun to sing.

Pleased you like it.

Hugs Michele

Hi Lyn

You are such a great writer, and so sweet, we appreciate your feedback. I thought because it's a Aussie song, I will explain to you the lyrics.

This girl's partner is a cheater, and drinks too much, always coming back home late & drunk, a lot of our Aussie blokes like's a nice cold beer etc. As to the I'm Over It, a figure of speech, I here those words a lot in Australia, Yes I say those words too, when I've had enough of the crap, etc, LOL. The Kangaroo lines, he's laying drunk and hasn't returned home, I can visualize the clip of him laying on the ground with an empty bottle next to him, and Kangaroo's just grazing on the grass around him, LOL, and I agree with you as to the Cockatoo, the film clip with this song will be so much fun, and I believe once we do a clip for this, you will understand us Aussie's a bit more, LOL.

Hmm, maybe I need Stan to explain, it better.

I did get this song professionally criticed, but we all didn't agree with him, I think he's American, he didn't get the Kangaroo lines either, but everyone who listens to it here, see's it very clearly.

Again, thanks for taking the time.

Hugs
Michele

Hey this is peppy... love those guitars, great job Michele.

Hi Gary

Thanks for listening and for your feedback, I really believe with practice, I will get it to flow better, I've only been singing since 2006, and I don't sing as much as I would like too.

So pleased you like it.

Big hugs
Michele

Hi Calvin

Nice to see you, we are so happy you like it, thanks for your encouraging words.

Big hugs
Michele

Okay, back later, got lots to do, Crazy day, so I will reply to those who I haven't replied too, later.

I can't keep up with you all.

Thanks Michele

Hi Michelle,

You did a great job on the vocals, lots of bounce and personality. Very cool overall musically as well.

Just a couple of things. I think the kangaroo reference is very Australian and while I thought it was pretty funny, its appeal might be limited to Australians and those others that are more open minded. Knowing you and your background, the song makes perfect sense. Not knowing that, one may question the use of a kangaroo.

The only other thing is the title. While you use both phrases, I would shorten the title to "I'm Over You", just to keep it simple. That's what you end the song with, that's what a listener will probably remember most.

Just some thoughts.

Ricki

Hiya Aussie Girl!

Well, this sounded just great. Yes, you are on pitch and, personally, I like the distinctive tonality of your vocal.

It sounds very good to me - but I did hear it in my head with just a little more attitude. Maybe try dancing while you sing it?

Or, as Mike Dunbar has often said, make sure you smile while you sing it.

Really diggin' it Michele, it's catchy as hell and clever and fun too!

Scott

Hi Dan

We are so happy you like our song, "You Rock" thanks thats so sweet, I absolutely love this song hey.

Still some more work to do, but we are getting their hah.

Big hugs
Michele

Hi Noel

Thanks for checking it out, and we are pleased you like it. Is this what your saying about the two rhyming together?

Too Many Late Night's.....
Too Many Last Warning's.....

Gotta keep moving, to keep up with all these posts, and I've gotta go out soon to help my brother, Golly gosh, I'm so busy. Going to see Jasmine Rae tomorrow night, oh YIPEE, I can't wait hey, I'm very excited.

Hugs Michele

Hi Louis

Thanks for your lovely compliments, Peppy hah, and Rodney is fantastic with playing the guitars hey. Yesterday he added the tambourine, harmonies, and he actually clapped with his hands also, he's very talented hah.

Gotta keep moving.

I've lost Stan, my song partner, have you seen him Louis, if you do can you tell him I'm looking for him.

Hugs
Michele

Hi Ricki & Scott,

Gotta go, back later tonight to reply.

Hugs
Michele

Hi Ricki

I'm back, but very tired, off to bed soon, it's nearly midnight here.

Okay, I have had a few people say to me about the Kangaroo lines, but to be honest, we just love those lines, and I just can't imagine changing them, reasons being:

We live in beautiful Australia, and that's one thing that I enjoy the most, is it's beauty, our wildlife, I sit out the back here where I'm living, to watch Kangaroo's bunting at each other, and the mothers with their babies, lots of birds, so enjoyable.

I also think their is a lot of Australian songs that have gone all around the world, for example "I COME FROM A LAND OF UNDER".

We Australians buy songs from Artist all over the world, and if the song has some words in them regarding their country, it doesn't stop me from purchasing them, isn't that what the art of songwriting is all about, giving us a wonderful knowledge of countries that we have never seen, knowledge of what it's like to live in their countries etc.

If this song was done in another Country like Nashville, and spoke of their native animals, I would purchase this song, it's catchy, has lot's of character, and it has a great Hook, that the lyrics are stuck in my head, and others here who have listened, have said Wow, and one lady asked me today for an Autograph, that was so funny, I thought she was joking, and she insisted that she wasn't, so I signed her piece of paper,LOL.

Thanks for your feedback Ricki, and please don't think I'm having a go at you, cause I'm not, I have lots of respect for you all here, and I appreciate what you all have to say.

Big hugs
Michele

Hi Scott

Thanks so much, we are so pleased you like it hey, and thanks for your lovely compliments regarding my vocal. It's really funny you suggesting dancing whilst I'm recording it, well I did do that, LOL, but I stopped, cause I thought you would probably hear my vocal bouncing, Hmm, I will keep practicing.

big hugs
Michele

Great rocking song and good recording and performance.
I think you have a great voice and thanks to all for your comments on song-technic. I'm learning a lot from it.
Ken

Awesome job Michele, what a fun song and you sang it so well. Great job.

Oh Michele--
I laughed so freakin' hard I nearly soiled myself! Relax; I'm dry. I love the humor you write and sing with; this song is killer good! Loved it.

The kangaroos get the short end of the stick though lol
JD

www.myspace.com/agiftedidiot

HiDee Mz Michele, & CONGRATS...You've done this Song GOOD, M'Ladychum!

Sorry I been swamped by Christmas Sellin' Season Details...& Health Issues...BUT I grabbed a Quick Listen a minute-ago/Love It.

Sugs: Have Rodney insert a Guitar "Ba-BOING" whenever there's a PAUSE Between "I'm Over It...I'm Over You". (You might also try a Parrot "SQ-WAWK" in the Gap there..for fun~)

All in All...sounds FINE...& I'd recommend bein' Real "Stingy" with the Parrot Parts...so they don't detract from What You're Singing So-Well!

CONGRATS Again, Good Luck Again, & BIG HUGS!
Ol' Sideline-Stan Again!

Hi Ken

Thanks for listening, we are pleased you like our song, and I look forward to listening to more of your songs and getting to know you, hey.

JPF is a great site, and I love being here, I have made many friends, listened to great songs, witnessed great collaborations, a very trusting, supportive, & friendly community.

big hug
Michele

Hi Naomi

Thanks for your lovely compliments, and for your advice, I'm gonna ring today, and start singing lessons again.

You rock girl, keep up with the great work your doing, you have a beautiful voice.

Hugs Michele

Hi JD

Well you got this Aussie girl in fits of laughter, so pleased you like it, and that you can picture what we can picture, LOL.

You laughed so hard, you nearly soiled yourself, oh golly gosh, I'm so pleased you didn't, now I'm hysterical.

Yeah, the Kangaroo's do get the short end of the stick.

Looking forward to getting to know you. Just being cheeky.

Hugs
Michele

Hi Stan, PARTNER,

I was worried about you, and I'm pleased to see you are okay. Don't over do it hah, hmm, I'm the one to talk, I've got things Crazy here at the moment.

I will see Rodney in a couple of weeks, and I will let him know your suggestions, yes the Christmas period has got us all busy. Rodney's been flat out too with their band, I will have to go see them in action hah, that would be cool.

Nice to see you, talk soon.

Hugs
Michele

Back and Trash were the two that came to my attention ... others may feel different.. pronunciation may fix it more emphasis /accent on the "BA" and "TRA" fading away on the second part of each word may fix it.... if it needs fixing at all that is

Alls good

Good morning Noel

Thanks for clearing that, I get what your saying now. I'm off to have singing lessons next week, so I will see what the singing teacher says hey.

I am very excited today, so gotta go soon, this girl here is going out tonight, YIPEE, I can't wait to see Jasmine Rae tonight, it's gonna be a HOOT, Jasmine ROCKS, she is my favorite, and to me she is right up their with Taylor Swift.

Hugs
Michele

BUMP, going away for the weekend, see you all when I get back, nice and refreshed hopefully, or maybe not, YIPEE, girl's night out tonight, going to see Jasmine Rae, I can't wait, so maybe I will come back exhausted.

Have a nice weekend hah.

Lv Michele

Hi Michele

Lots to be proud of here, good work by all Rodney did a great job.

I know what Kevin meant :)but it's gonna matter just as much or maybe MORE if your the Artist. On a demo even though you want things just right at least the listener will know it's a demo for the song... As the artist though? YOU have to be the BEST thing about it. Even more important than the song.

Again as with other songs we've discussed I'm not 100% sure of your musical goals. But right now I think it's probably most important that you enjoy yourself have fun and keep things positive and moving forward. Your trying & working hard, nothing is better..

Now on a totally professional note your voice is not right for this song. It could just be the key, maybe if it were transposed up or down it would land you in more favorable position. The chorus aren't too bad as the backing's help and the chords are more suitable.

But the verses aren't working vocally. Beside the tone it just hasn't found an identity. It's hard to explain exactly but it's like does it want to be punky? country? rock? blues? It's weird but the tone is kinda sitting between female vocal & male vocal.

Primarily it needs to be higher or lower. Your wonderful personality which is a HUGE strong point for you isn't coming through on this song at this point. All you have to do is go back and listen to DON'T PUSH MY BUTTON and you 'll hear that and see the difference.

I know songs are different but each also need to take on the best personality and appeal they can


Glad to see you back & working, sorry to sound harsh but I like you too much to tell you other wise keep it up!!

Hi Mike

Thanks so much, and I do get what your saying. One thing I don't have to do is go listen to "Don't push my button" cause it's stuck in my head, so I started singing this today, in the same key, and it sounds so much better, so I will get Rodney to change the key if he can, and I'll see how it sounds. If I feel that we need to employ another singer to bring this song up to where it should be, a HIT, LOL, I will do that, no problem hey.

As to my musical goals Mike, I really don't know if I will ever become an Artist, but what I do know is, I've made great friends here, I'm now collaborating with great writers, I've been lucky enough to have found and worked with two great producers, OOps, actually three, how could I forget Mike Caro, you done a fantastic job on "Broken Trust", I'm now networking with other Country music artists here in Australia, and yes I'm having fun.

I appreciate your honesty, so their is no need for you to apologize for being harsh, it's all a learning curve for me, and the only way I'm going to learn, is for you all to tell me. Some things I mighten agree on, and this Aussie girl can be very stubborn when I want too, but I do agree with you Mike.

Okay, back to the garage, I'll give it one more shot.

Hugs Michele

Hi, Michele,Stan and Rodney. I love your song. I can hear it in a road movie, it creates a real picture of someone strong and full of personality. I like the lyrics, music, vocals and instrumentation. The song is very catchy. Good luck.
Nadia

Hi Nadia

Well this Aussie girl is off to bed, big day tomorrow. Thanks so much, we are so happy that you like our song, YOU CAN HEAR IT IN A ROAD MOVIE, Wow, that's a compliment, but to be honest, I really believe I can do better, so it's back to the garage, and we'll change the key, and see how I go. Big hugs, and again thank you.

Michele, Stan, Rodney.

Hi Michelle, sorry, I hope I didn't upset you. It's just I personally like watching road movies but I'm sure your song could be placed in so many different types of movies, this was just anaexample.
Nadia