JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Creative Challenge Forum Yup! It's "TIME" (HINT, HINT) For a New Song Challenge !!

Good afternoon boys and girls!

Thanks for taking the TIME to check this out. It seems I rarely have enough TIME to play around here these days, and I haven't posted a challenge in quite some TIME. Accordingly, I thought it was about TIME I kicked a new one off.

This TIME around then, the parameter is as follows (drum roll please):

YOU HAVE TO USE THE WORD [color:#6600CC]"TIME" IN YOUR TITLE/HOOK [/color]

For those new to JPF, these challenges are designed primarily as an exercise for you, with a built-in "jumpstart". No other rules, really. It can be a lyric...or a full-blown musicated piece, whatever you and your muse feel like. In return, I'll try to give you some constructive feedback without getting too nit-picky. Ultimately, I just think it's great if you can participate....it's a win-win as far as I'm concerned. If you happen to come up with an award-winning song in the process -- so be it.

So good luck and have fun. I look forward to seeing/hearing what you come up with! BTW, while I realize Stan might have an advantage here , I believe TIME is a broad enough concept that it can be interpreted in a variety of ways.

I'll try to drum up something soon too, but didn't want to wait for my muse to cooperate before posting this.

Ciao for now,
Beth

Ooo, fun. Good (shall we say) timing.

Joe

For me too -- I get to go to the bus stop now! Catch ya later folks!!

Beth

Post deleted by Lynn Orloff

wow sounds like a great TIME to be had by all...may I include a title with the word "SOMETIMES" oh TIMEless Beth??

Hey Lynn,

Absolutely -- according to my Song Challenge Manual ( ), Some"TIMES" qualifies under the Compound Hook section.

I bet I even know what you're going to write about: "Sometimes I Just Don't Want To Rhyme" ("folks think it's a preposterous crime", etc.) ?? Feeble guess aside, you've certainly piqued my interest.

BTW, I'll probably bump this thread intermittently, as it isn't one folks necessarily think to check out. So thank you (and Joe) for having done just that...

As for me, after a long week of Mommyhood, I'm afraid it's TIME to call it a night. If I somehow manage to get my second wind, I'll be back....

Otherwise, say hi to your muse for me (that could be a fun hook too.....)!

Good luck,
Beth

I'm in one of those Pensive Moods this Evening, Mz O..& HEY, We Need a Good Song about LYRICISTS, Don't We...So Here We Go (not that it's ALL that GOOD...but heh..I'm In The Mood for This One:)

"THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME"

Sometimes I'm Asinine...
Or Occasionally, Obtuse..
Othertimes I Toe-The-Line
& Bunt Well-Chosen Words to You

(CLIMB)
Noone's Ever Perfect..
(That's WHY They Keep..Sports Stats!)
No-One Hits a HOMER..
EVERY Time At-Bat...(So I)...

(CHORUS)
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME
Enduring "Ones That Got-Away"
I THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME
When My "Best Pitch" Went-Astray
When I "Aimed One For The Bleachers"
(That Never-Ever-Climbed...)
Somehow You Stayed-Kind
So I THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

Sometimes I Wrote "Hot Ones"
& "Sizzlers"-Lacking-Taste
Othertimes, You Got Some
That Never Made First-Base..

(CLIMB)
But Still..ON-You-Listened
(With The PATIENCE of The Saints!)
Overlooking "Turkeys-Stiffened"
(You STILL Praise-the-Ones that AIN'T!!!) (And I)..

(CHORUS)
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME
& The Backpats that Came-in
I THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME
That Makes Me Want to Swing-Again!
Oh, I Know, Sometimes I'll Whiff-out
But I'll TRY..'Till-I-Connect..
& Apologize In-Advance for The Ones that Aren't Politically-Correct...
That Stay On Your Mind...
You've been So Kind...
& I THANK YOU,
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!

(C) 2009 by Stan Good, BMI
All Rights Reserved.

Good work there Stan! And done in little time too! Too Little Time! Ha!

Of course, I already have one, (and our band of the same name, "Too Little Time"). But in time, I may have another. Only time will tell.

In the meantime, may I just reintroduce my "Too Little Time" song? (lazy, I know). But I don't think I can top my previous time song quite yet.
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=4093757

Either way, you all have a good time!

John

Hey John, I'm up Late (Past My BedTIME..heh!) but sure enjoyed yours, Amigo! (Those Tambourines DO take me Backaways, yeah-yeah-yeah!!!) Good Song/Great Band Name! (I once airbrushed a Drum Head for a Band named "Little Miss Muffett & The Spoon Jobs"...had a big Cartooned Spider, too!) 1964...

They played gigs all over Ohio...(Drummer..John Chayne..is now a Bishop, I think in MASS...) But..heh...I used to Know Him When!

Hey..here's a Hook for your Next One: "Next Time"!

(Or...even more fun: "NO TIME FOR THE NEXT TIME"...)

As fer me...It's "BED-TIME!"
Best Wishes/Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Hi Beth Heres a song I wrote called Spend a little time

When tender feelings, trouble you, ask a friend , to comfort you
Long distance, doesn't have to, separate, good company
Every day life, gets real busy, make the time, for family
I like to think, that's what makes up, this great, country

Spend a little time, with your children, spend a little time, with your wife
Spend a little time, with your parents, spend a little time, with family and friends

Play a little, Texas holdem, game of botchy, ball or two
Gather round the, TV, and watch an old, home movie
Lots of good, home cooking, gotta have some of , grandma's chicken
Just sit back ,and carry on , some Friendly con, ver, sation

Spend a little time, with your children, spend a little time, with your wife
Spend a little time, with your parents, spend a little time, with family and friends

Family and friends, together again, catching up laughing, bout good old times
Family and friends, together again, spend a little time, with family and friends

Take a minute, show a little, affection, to a friend
Lets all have, a good old time, from beginning, to end
Living in, America, with my family, and friends


Spend a little time, with your children, spend a little time, with your wife
Spend a little time, with your parents, spend a little time, with family and friends.

Heres a link if you want to listen to the song

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6409552

Good Saturday Morning,

Beth you had me laughing in your 1st line (the "Song Challenge Manual") , wouldn't that be funny if a newbie thought one really existed, we could have fun w/that (sound of devilish laugh) according to Chapter 3, page 46, under the heading "derivatives and compounds of words/hooks and their application in challenges", etc.

Oh and to even consider that I could ever write a poem/song that starts with "sometimes I just don't want to rhyme" well..it would have to go something like this

Sometimes I just don't want to rhyme
I'm in a rush I have no time
To find those words that somehow click
I sometimes don't have time for this
Forgive me but my life's so fast
I cannot rhyme nor meet the task
It doesn't mean I'm not inclined
It simply means I'm short on time
Oh my oh me how can it be
I rhymed just now unintentionally
I guess this means when low on time
I still can find the time to rhyme

back to business since there's no TIME like the present...

These are not newly penned, ut-oh better pull out the "Manual" and see if they qualify. I also believe I may have posted them before on a lyric board, double ut-oh!!

Two adult easy's and one traditional country over lightly

“Next Time” (easy listening)
©2009 Lynn Orloff

Next time I’ll start out slow
Be in complete control
I’ll pray I’ll somehow know
And I won’t sell my soul

I’ll simply weigh the facts
Won’t rush head of things
Sit back and just relax
To see what next time brings

Chorus
And if there ever is a next time
I’ll just have to get it right
Cause I’ll confess the thought of next time
Scares me just to think I might….(have a next time)

I’ll guard my tender heart
Seek sound advice from friends
And I won’t fall apart
If love comes to an end

I’ll just take things in stride
Turn corners carefully
Have wisdom on my side
Hope next time’s meant to be

Possible Bridge:
I’ll breathe in very deep and wait till love unfolds
I won’t lose any sleep should next time turn up cold

And if there ever is a next time
I’ll just have to get it right
Cause I’ll confess the thought of next time
Scares me just to think I might….(have a next time)
______________________________________________________

“Sometimes” (easy listening)
©2009 Lynn Orloff


Sometimes it seems life takes me down a road I hadn’t planned
Sometimes I think I’ll crumble when just meeting life’s demands
Sometimes I feel confused and find it hard to understand
I get like that sometimes.

Sometimes I’m in a hurry but I forget to where
Sometimes I find I worry even border on despair
I open up a window just in hopes to find some air
I get like that sometimes.

There’s days I can’t make heads or tails
It seems the wind has left my sails
And I can’t even tell which end is up
But all at once you look at me
And it becomes so clear to see
Love is all I need and love’s enough

Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky for so long
To have someone like you whose there to love me right or wrong
And even though there’s sometimes when I’m feeling less than strong
You always cause my sun to shine
Though life at times may be unkind
You’re there for all my sometimes…. all the time.

________________________________________________________
"The Last Time I Looked You Were Loving Me" (trad country)
(c)2009 Lynn Orloff


Was I wrong to believe that you loved me, were the words that you spoke to me lies
If they were to deceive, like a fool I believed
Cause I thought I saw love in your eyes
Was the time that we spent all for nothing, was the smile you gave me sincere
If it all was a joke then the joke is on me
Am I realizing my greatest fear, cause

Chorus
The last time I looked you were loving me, loving me
Your kisses were tender and true
But somehow today, you seem so far away
And I wonder if there’s someone new

Were the gifts that you gave me just tokens, was the face that you wore a facade
Did your heart start to roam, when I left you alone
Have I walked where your new love has trod
Was I blind all along darling tell me, were the kisses we shared just for fun
Was it all just a game, do you have a new flame
And is he/she now your new number one, cause

The last time I looked you were loving me, loving me
Your kisses were tender and true
But somehow today, you seem so far away
And I wonder if there’s someone new

Oh the last time I looked you were loving me, loving me
Your kisses were tender and true
But somehow today, you seem so far away
And I wonder if there’s someone new
And I wonder if he’s/she’s loving youuuuuuu
____________________________________________________

Alternate Verse 2 (in case the word “trod” is too dated)

Was the time that we shared just time wasted
Did you only pursue me for kicks
Did your heart start to roam, when I left you alone
Is it all gonna end just like this

Hey there Stanerooski!

First off, thanks for steppin' up to bat on this one. And heck, ya know I love baseball (RIP dear Boston Red Sox ), so you had me at "BUNT" -- what a GREAT GREAT use of that word!!!

I think the comparison of "hits-and-misses" is quite apropos. In truth, the list of other possible baseball images is seemingly endless:

"Sometimes I hit it FOUL"

"If the cleats fit..." (that's a stretch, but struck me funny)

"My muse was on steroids, kept hitting grand slams"

"You thought I couldn't bring it home, and wanted a pinch-runner/but then I pulled a suicide squeeze, it doesn't get much funner"

ANYHOO, those ramblings aside, I sort of wish you could have maintained the baseball imagery throughout the song -- especially in the 2nd climb... maybe something about bases loaded, would I walk or end the game, etc. I think it's a fun enough analogy to really go into overdrive on it.

Still, I love your inclusion of the importance of PATIENCE. In both arenas, sometimes the waiting is INTERMINABLE.

So all in all, I'd say you're on your game here Stan. Thank YOU for YOUR time!!

Have a groovy day....
Jackie

Hi John,

Funny that the two JPF'ers with automatic "time" connections should "chime" in on this one. (But momma didn't raise no fool, and all that!)

That aside, I thoroughly enjoyed your entry. And again, referring back to the Song Challenge Manual, I quote from page 32, paragraph 9: "There is no shame in posting an already-produced song, as long as Beth likes it."

Actually, I'd love to see the lyrics with this one too John. Had sort of a Beatles/Grateful Dead ("Truckin") feel to me....and would love to sing along (in the privacy of my own home, of course!).

Seriously, for those who don't know of my propensity for sarcasm, it IS okay to recycle an old song. Usually that means you enjoyed it at one time, and I'm all about making people feeling good.

BTW, when was the photo taken on Soundclick? You mention you were playing in Boston, so I was just wondering.....

Anyhoo, thanks for playing. That is a dang fine tune.

Beth

I dunno Stanerooski...

Bed-TIME, Next-Time....Sounds to me like you have a few more songs percolating in there!! Maybe, to continue with your earlier theme, you could pretend it's a double-header !

OR, since you're always doing such a nice job with parodies....how about working up: "Time WITH a Bottle"

I know, I know, I don't get out much. And right now it's LAUNDRY TIME, so I'll be back later.

Ciao for now,
Jackie

JOHN! You changed your avatar, you rascal! Still, it's an adorable shot, so I'm sure I'll be fine by morning...

See ya!
Beth

I'm writing this off the top of my head:

"The Angels Decided It Was Time"

Vs. 1 The trees were blooming, there were blossoms all around
I was just getting to know me more
The ducks came to nest, as they do every year
The fledglings in the trees, dying to soar

Vs. 2 Life is a suicide mission from the get go
Love is a million more times worse than that
You think you have it all figured out, and what do you know
Just when you give in...it stabs you in the back.

Oh how I prayed for a love to call my own
Oh how I longed for MY EVERYTHING

Chorus:
The angels they laughed as they heard our first phone call
They grinned as they witnessed our toasting with wine
But when they saw the both of us breaking down in tears
The angels decided it was time...yours and mine.

Vs. 3 The first time I heard your voice, I was in love
The second time I knew my heart had found a home
Now I'm truly happy in the arms of my best friend
This is the high I've always wanted to know

Vs. 4 I thank the Heavens that put this all together
THEY decided that this was meant to be
Ain't it crazy how 4,000 miles stretched between us
Don't make a bit of difference to you and me.

Oh how I wished upon every shooting star
Oh how I knew when our souls locked eyes.

Chorus:
The angels laughed as they heard our first phone call
They just grinned at our toasting with wine
But when they saw the both of us overcome with tears
The angels decided it was time.
They knew right then...it was time...yours and mine.

So what do we win???? New kitchen appliances, or what's behind Door Number Two???

1.
Too many times I've longed for a love
Too many tears at night
You came along and made wet eyes feel right
Now they see your love's strong

Chorus:
But there's too little time to love with all the want to's
Too little time for life
So, for now we'll love today
Said for now we'll love tonight
Together time's flying, bye bye

do do do's,,,,,,,,,

As kids play in the sand making friends
Time's slipping through their hands
There's not a thought of a tomorrow that won't come
We play an hour and we're done, (to Chorus)


2. June 15, 2005, Regent Theater, Arlington, MA., Boston suburb.
Photo taken by Brian Austin Whitney.

3. You're welcome! And, Thank You!

Time To Whisper
© words and music by C. Stewart ( Oct. 18, 2009 )

I'm from the land of Whisper
Where, everything's a joke
The time clocks made of chocolate
So we don't work just smoke

I think it's time to whisper, don't you

Whisper has no president
But, none of us are broke
Everybody fell in love
Cause we don't work just smoke

I think it's time to whisper, don't you

I'm from the land of Whisper
A handshake and a toke
Making love's our only crime
And, we don't work just smoke

I think it's time to whisper, don't you

Bridge....
Little whispers make us laugh
Listen to the whisper in your mind
I hope you're the whispering kind

Instrumental break.....

Whisper is so beautiful
Hope this is where I croak
Silly smiles for miles and miles
Cause we don't work just smoke

I'm from the land of Whisper
Where, everything's a joke
The time clocks made of chocolate
So we don't work just smoke

I think it's time to whisper, don't you
Now's the time to whisper, I love you
Take the time to whisper, I love you
Take the time to whisper I love you

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hiya Scott,

What a wonderful sentiment. But at the same time, now you've got me in a conundrum -- I was all set to spend a chunk of time this afternoon catching up on crits/feedback...but now I think I should be doing something with my kids instead .

LUCKILY, they're going to a late afternoon movie, so I'll make up for it then .

That issue aside, I like how you've flushed out a more humanistic version of "stop and smell the roses". And I must say, I have been taking your advice recently, and the payoffs are grand! Spent last weekend with a half dozen college friends, and we talked and laughed so much. It was invigorating. BUT it's one of those advisories that so often gets brushed aside in the name of things we feel NEED to get done. The laundry, e-mail, car-pooling, etc. When I bemoaned all the "chores" etc. that fell by the wayside during my foot surgery convalescence, I was told time and time again: your kids will remember spending time with you, not how clean the house was. SO, we still look for that happy medium, but I am definitely doing a lot more stuff with the people I care about.

So thank you for this musical reminder. Your voice is quite rich -- though I'll confess I found all the commas distracting when I was just reading the lyrics. I also had a little trouble following your format/rhyme scheme, but in this song, I wasn't overly troubled by it, since I was listening to the story.

Thank you for playing along...and how lucky for us you had this up your sleeve!

Have a good afternoon,
Beth

Hey there Lynn,

You are too much -- you can't even resist an offer NOT to rhyme! I was thinking more along the lines of:

Sometimes I just don't want to rhyme
I'm in a rush I have no time SHOES
To find those words that somehow click
I sometimes don't have time for this LUNCH
Forgive me but my life's so fast
I cannot rhyme nor meet the task IN-LAWS
It doesn't mean I'm not inclined
It simply means I'm short on time CASH
Oh my oh me how can it be
I rhymed just now unintentionally TIL BETH RUINED IT
I guess this means when low on time
I still can find the time to rhyme DRINK

There now, that wasn't so hard was it?

Seriously, I appreciate you taking me up on THAT particular challenge and responding in True Lynn Form. In fact, "True Lynn Form" is listed in the Appendix of the Song Challenge Manual. Remind me to xerox that page for you...I'm sure you'd get a kick out of it !

As to your other Challenge offerings, I'll try to get to them soon....

Thanks for playing (so far!),
Beth

Hey all,

Thought I best put my money where my mouth is! Here's one that won't win any awards, but I do manage to use TIME in the title, and it was fun to boot, so there ya go!

BTW, because I wrote this fast, I didn't CONDENSE it any...so it could probably use a little tweaking.

Nevertheless, hope you enjoy it....

“A Reel Good Time”
© Lyrics 2009 Beth Williams, BMI

When I was young I planned to be a pilot
What adventures I would have around the world!
But then I met my hubby and we took a different path
I was grounded with a baby boy and girl

So for now there are no tropical vacations
Should prob’ly throw my passport in the trash
The only trip I can afford is to the movies
To escape and make up for the life I lack

Chorus:
No matter what’s playing, I have a reel good time
A reel good time, the darkness is so welcome
My favorite ones transport me far away to distant lands
Like tonight “If it’s Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium”

When the credits are all finished and it’s time to go on home
It’s hard to just let go of what I’ve seen
So instead I head to IHOP for some waffles
To indulge in Belgian fantasy cuisine.

I need no reservations here
Just sit and shut my eyes
Inhale the food’s aroma
Sigh and try to visualize
What it must be really like
To “Fly the Friendly Skies”
Then remembering my fear of heights
I gladly realize….that

Chorus:
No matter what’s playing, I have a reel good time
A reel good time, they haven't failed me yet
My favorite ones transport me far away to distant lands
Can’t wait to join Brad Pitt for “Seven Years in Tibet”



*******************************************************************

P.S. I'm chuckling here, since this is so DATED. But I'm cool with it!

Howdy Beth, Gus here. Hope I'm not too late.
If I made it, then it's appropriate that I use
"In the Nick of Time"

Preacher said we cut it close
We took it right up to the line
Small bit more just too long
Got here in the nick of time

CHORUS
Nick of time I saw the signs
Get no chance to change your mind
Your crooked smile always mine
shining in the nick of time

Find the ring good boots and hat
Ice cold Corona with a wedge of lime
Got to get my act straight
get you hitched in the nick of time

Thanks Beth......Gus

Good golly Miss Molly, your cup runneth over!

I guess I chose a fairly popular theme this TIME, huh? Kids are on the way home, so I might not get to all three right this minute. Let me start with the first one, "Next TIME"...

Oh, this is a sad one, Lynn. I know it's supposed to convey a sense of hopefulness, that she "learned her love lesson" the last time(s) and now she'll head into the possible "next time" armed with that "ammunition". What saddens me is...well, I guess I'm a romantic. Sure, we want to learn from our mistakes, but I'm all about keep going out on that limb, because one of these times it's gonna be worth the risk. And I'm afraid she's not going to let herself love freely and completely. I understand why...but it's no small tragedy.

Although at the beginning, while she does say she'll:

"Be in complete control",

...in the next verse, she says she'll:

Sit back and just relax
To see what next time brings

....So perhaps there's more ambiguity in her feelings than I'm giving her credit for...

Sentiment aside, in re-reading it...I think you actually are conveying that uncertainty. Your chorus in particular drives that message home.

Chorus
And if there ever is a next time
I’ll just have to get it right
Cause I’ll confess the thought of next time
Scares me just to think I might….(have a next time)

Good writing...but I'm still sad for her. Give her an hour with me...we'll go get some drinks, and well, that'll be fodder for ANOTHER song ...

Perfect timing, here comes Samantha. Thanks for song number one...be back later!!

Beth

Bethieboo what did you do
I hope I'm not exhausting you
I didn't know how deep you'd dig
Your generosity is awful big
You needn't analyze each song
Especially if it takes too long
I entered three yet I had four
It's just the 4th I found a bore
I know sometimes that 3's a crowd
But I didn't want to wear you out
So iffin' it's too much for thee
Don't worry none about #2 and #3
This needn't be a heavy task
Just sharin' what the challenge asked
You really rose to the occasion
I hope your just not heavy laden
I know that you have much to do
So do not sweat the very last two
Please don' critique if duty calls
My feelings won't be hurt at all
Unless of course you feel inclined
Do as you please dear friend of mine

Best,
Lynn
P.S. I think you got alittle mixed up and included the Chorus from song #3 under song #1's analysis. My fault as I probably put too much ink in one area.

Hee hee, I'm going out of order with my response here, been I had to chuckle when I saw this. I'm glad we're at least keeping each OTHER entertained on this thread! But nah, the mistake was mine...Sam came in, I got distracted, YADA YADA YADA. I'll go correct that right now...and what I'll likely do is skip your next two and come back to them at the end, okay?

But thanks for the sweet "there, there"....I appreciate it!!

HRH The Boo ( )

Hey Girl,

Aren't you married off yet?

I have to say, when I read your explanation about where this came from, I believed you -- but now it's clear it was off the top of your HEART!!

I am just lovin' you and Andy...and how you've maintained the romance. How long has it been now since that notorious night on the Shout Box?! We should probably warn some of the newbies about what seemingly innocent shenanigans can lead to!!

Anyway, as to your lyric...Everything about it worked for me except for the second verse . I understand you were setting up the contrast of Pre-Andy and Post-Andy, but it seems a bit too morbid in this love song. Going back to the end of verse one, you might also want to change the word "dying" to "trying"...for the same reasons.

Otherwise, fab my dear.

Oh yes, regarding potential PRIZES....that will be determined by an esteemed group of judges, selected according to the rules and regulations of the afore-mentioned "Official Song Challenge Manual." In other words, you don't get nothin' chickie!!

'Course you DO have that kilt-wearin' fella waiting in the wings....

Hope you don't mind all the ribbing Polly. You know I am thrilled for you, and am anxious for you to get to spend forever together...!!!

THANKS FOR PLAYING!!

Ciao for now,
Beth

Hiya John,

Thanks for posting the lyrics. I re-listened with them in front of me...and they made the experience all the more pleasurable.

BTW, sorry I didn't know about the 2005 deal. Course, I was just getting out of high school at the time, so wouldn't have been let in anyway (HA HA HA!)....

Thanks again and have a groovy day....
Beth

Time

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=3869955

Time
By Noel Downs Lyric/ Bill Heinowski Music copyright 14th December 2005

[Time]
Moving on to pass us by
[Time]
Never stopping to say hello
[Time]
Where does it live,
[Time]
Where does it go,

[Time]
Wasted oft in waiting,
[Time]
New beginnings replace old ends,
[Time]
Never enough too much to do,
[Time]
Finds wisdom too late for amends,

[Time]
Moving on to pass us by
[Time]
Never stopping to say hello
[Time],
Where does it live
[Time]
Where does it go

[Time]
I want to spend all I have on you,
[Time]
And you deserve more than I can afford,
[Time]
But I’ve too little to spend on you,
[Time]
Even if I spent it all,
[Time]
And all is never enough for you,
[Time]
Still there though you can’t see through,
[Time]
It’s just the dirty windows.
[Time]
Blocking out the view,




[Time]
Running out, but there’s always more,
[Time]
The carousel keeps on revolving,
[Time]
An endless stream, meters slow,
[Time]
Even when the tune’s not playing,

[Time]
Moving on to pass us by
[Time]
Never stopping to say hello
[Time],
Where does it live
[Time]
Where does it go

[Time],
Where does it live
[Time]
Where does it go
[Time]
Where does it go

Where does it go





Note 1. The [Time] is sung as a back up vocal. Sorta like a base note… Sustained for a couple of counts…. Maybe 3 or 4?

Credits

Noel Downs Lyric
Bill Heinowski Music
Bill Heinowski lead vocals
Bill Heinowski guitar
Bill Heinowski strings
Vicki Flawith Backup vocals

Hi Calvin,

I saw this on Lyric 3, so I'll re-post my comments over there too. But in the meantime, I want to thank you for participating in the challenge and keeping us all on the edge of our respective musical seats. We never know where you're going to take us.

In fact, where do you ever come up with an image like this?

The time clocks made of chocolate

...Did you just watch Willy Wonka with your grandkids?

And you set up some interesting juxtapositions too...of really pretty language with more "pedestrian" lines:

Whisper is so beautiful
Hope this is where I croak

Still, the "Land of Whisper" sounds like quite the vacation spot. Any place you've got love and chocolate goin' on, you can count me in for sure.

Thanks for sharing,
Beth

Hey Gus,

This is cute....though I'll confess I always think of someone shaving with a dull razor when I hear the word "nick".

What I liked about this one, whether it was purposeful or not, is that the REASON it's the nick of time is left somewhat ambiguous. My initial thought was a shot-gun wedding, but then the crooked smile line made me think he was just trying to hurry up and marry her before she decided to back out...and THEN I re-read it, and realized it's a dad giving away his daughter! So you've got all your bases covered here.

Still, I wouldn't have minded if it was a bit longer to flush one of these theories out...but I think you could have fun with some instrumentals to fill up your time.

"So, thank you for participating in this edition of the Songwriting Creative Challenge. Please tune in next time for another exciting installment...in which Lance must decide between Lana and Muriel.... ( sorry, not enough caffeine coursing thru my veins yet!)...

Have a groovy day,
Beth

Hey Noel....

Wow, this is haunting! The production is right on, Vicki's vocal is lovely (a little Kate Bush-ish), and the lyric is jam-packed with excellent images, such as:

New beginnings replace old ends

Finds wisdom too late for amends

Still there though you can’t see through,
[Time]
It’s just the dirty windows.
[Time]
Blocking out the view

I loved the instrumental section...especially the guitar. And I think your use of the hook as the back-up vocal is inspired and effective.

I'm not 1000% sold on the tone of Bill's vocal, but I think that's just a personal preference deal. Plus, it sets up a solid contrast with Vicki's.

So thank you very much for posting this. I wasn't around these here parts way back in 2005, so I appreciate the opportunity to listen to it now....

Cheers,
Beth

Beth:

I'm sure I have a few of these that have the word time in the title, including one I wrote following the death of either my dad or my mom. The message of the piece is that there are always things we mean to say but never seem to get around to it, and in one way or another, not always through death, the person you wish to say it to is no longer around. Will try to look for that one to include here.

Peace,
Brian

Sounds good Brian. I look forward to hearing them....

Have a groovy afternoon,
Beth

Hey Joseph,

SO, are you gonna put your lyrics where your mouth is (I believe that would qualify as a "mixed metaphor ) or was this more a commentary than an announcement?

Either way, I'm just yanking your chain a bit -- had intended to bump this anyway for the soon-to-be weekend crowd. Besides, it looks like you've been pretty busy, musicating all over the place! I gotta lot of listening to do around here!!

Until later then,
Beth

Howdy Beth, sorry it was so short, but I saw the notice at the
last minute(or so i thought), & that day I only had about 10 minutes available. I decided sumthin was better than nuthin,
to get me in the loop, for this great little gig.I've noticed it
since I got on JPF, but never could figger out, where, & when to
jump in. Any help along those lines in the near future, & making
it more clear when the deadline is would be greatly appreciated
Thank You...........Gus

It’s only a matter of time

So it’s the worst of news
Dividing what yours and mine
So now I’m searching for clues
In the things you left behind

It’s only a matter of time
It’s just mind over matter
To find out what comes after
This lonely lost laughter of mine

A book you thought I’d like
A frame without a picture
I thought it was an antique
But you said just old furniture

It’s only a matter of time
It’s just mind over matter
To find out what comes after
This lonely lost laughter of mine

A purposely vague horoscope
Now tumbling down this slope
I can only hope

It’s only a matter of time
It’s just mind over matter
To find out what comes after
This lonely lost laughter of mine

Copyright 2009 by Kennan Zishka

Hiya Gus,

Good golly, I'm sorry if I made you feel lyrically-inadequate ... I only made the comment about length because I enjoyed what you had written so far, and selfishly would have liked more.

As for the "whens" and "wheres", etc. of the Song Challenges, nothing is really set in stone. Mostly Jean and I go back and forth coming up with ideas...and if the most recent one seems to have dropped from sight/interest, we try to come up with a new one.

Really, the only guideline you have to consider -- if you want to participate, it's optional -- is the "parameter" of the given challenge. Length is up to you, format, etc. In this case, it just has to be a song (PREFERABLY a new one, since it's intended as an exercise....but I don't mind when old one's appear, since they're "new" to a lot of people!).

I sure hope I've answered your questions and allayed any concerns you had about lyrical wrong-doings!! Sorry for any confusion....

Again, thanks for playing....
Beth

Hey Kennan,

First of all, thanks for rummaging thru the threads to find this one. We do need to bump them now and again, since they don't always appear in the "What's Going On" box....

Second, what a great but sad song! I like the idea of the person going thru the motions, knowing it's gonna hurt, but it's akin to ripping off a bandaid: you can do it slowly or fast, but not until it's off, can the real healing start.

I do think it could use a little tweaking. For instance, I'd probably leave the hook at "A Matter of Time"...just a little cleaner, and I think the "It's only" part is almost understood.

Also, I'm not sure how your first line works. Are you saying that the bad news (i.e., the WORST) is that you have to divide your things? I would think the breakup would be worse. Mind if I play around a smidge?

PLEASE SEE ABOVE...

Um, er, it looks like I did more than a smidge here. Sorry! I just love that purple font!

Kidding aside, please know I won't bother taking the time to really poke around a lyric unless I genuinely like it. At the same time, this is YOUR song, and my comments are strictly keep or sweep, okay? No worries!

At the end of the day, I'm just grateful you were inspired to participate in the challenge.

Thanks again....
Beth

"This Time"
Words/Music Written By S. LeeAndrew Bray (BMI)

Verse One
People always ask me why the long face?
Are you feeling blue, and how are you?
I always tell them that it's the same old thing, no, nothing's new,
But that's not true...

Chorus
I don't want to say I'm going crazy
And I don't wanna tell 'em I've lost my mind
No, I ain't being myself here lately
Oh, but the truth is, that she's gone for good this time

Verse Two
We have been through everything, no storm was too strong
But this road's been long, yeah, this road's been long
I thought she loved me more than anything
I guess I was wrong, she's moving on

Chorus
I don't want to say I'm going crazy
And I don't wanna tell 'em I've lost my mind
No, I ain't being myself here lately
Oh, but the truth is, that she's gone for good this time

Tag
Oh, but the truth is, she's really gone this time


"This Time", written by S. LeeAndrew Bray. (BMI)
Copyright© 2010 No Middle Ground Publishing Co.
All rights reserved.

Demo Link:
http://www.garageband.com/leeandrewbray