JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Creative Challenge Forum Song Challenge #36 Concept writing - bad habits and or vices

The goal of our "Song Challenges" is to write songs/lyrics on demand within set parameters. We don't critique each other's songs in this thread (but you can say you like someone's song if you want to.) Please post your original works. If you have already written a song/lyric that fits within the parameters, please feel free to post it.

This challenge is to write to the concept but you will decide the hook and the story line. Here are the parameters of the concept: The singer is either considering or has broken habits/given up vices - but there is one (or perhaps a few) he or she doesn't want to give up or is finding it difficult to give up. It could be an action, a thing or a person. It's up to you to decide the outcome. Will he or she be able to do it? Does he or she really want to let go of it (or them)? Any variation of this theme will do but you must describe the dilemma the singer faces in either deciding what to give up or accomplishing (or not accomplishing) the task.

Good luck to you.

PS: Sorry I have been so absent but I changed schools and we started back in August, so I am very busy but will try to check in as often as I can.

Hi Jean, you sound busy, same here, but never too busy for a challenge Final Chorus is alittle different lyrically. Thanks and good luck w/the new school situation. Have a great day....



“Bad Habits” (country/male vocal)
©2009Lynn Orloff (needs melody)

Yeah the nicotine it had me
But I vowed to give it up
Cause I knew that if I didn’t
It’d do a number to my lungs

And I liked the taste of whiskey
But the whiskey hated me
And I knew I had my last sip
When the Sheriff took my keys

Lift
Oh yeah I had a few bad habits and they didn’t make me proud
I guess I did a little too much of living life out loud…..

But there’s still this one bad habit, a habit I can’t break
A crutch that I keep craving, and it’s just too hard to shake
I keep wantin' somethin’ bad for me, and babe that’s somethin’s you
Cause I know each time I take you back, you’ll (just) break my heart in two

Yeah they used to call me party boy
Stayed up late and had good times
Till the boss man called me in one day
Said "your job is on the line"

And I had a nasty temper
When things didn’t go my way
But the good Lord knew I could make a change
So He helped me set things straight

Lift
Yes sir I had some imperfections, seemed the list was nice and long
But I worked real hard and I cleaned em’ up, tried to right my every wrong…

But there’s still this one temptation, a habit I can’t break
A crutch that I keep craving, and it’s just too hard to shake
I keep wantin' somethin’ bad for me, and babe that’s somethin’s you
Cause I know that if I take you back, you’ll (just) break my heart in two

Final Chorus
Yeah there’s still this one addiction, and it gets me every time
All you gotta do is look my way, and I lose my heart and mind
I keep wantin' somethin’ I can’t have, and if I get it I find out
That I should’ve kept my distance, shoulda' learned to live without

Thanks for posting, Lynn. You stayed within the parameters very well. Good job!

Looks like I'm a "parameter girl living in a parameter world" OOPS it should be.."I'm living in a parameter world and I am a parameter girl" LOL!

Sure sounds like love could be quite the common habit. My rhyme scheme is too consistent at the moment and I haven't figured out the whole "crown jewels" tie in, but that's all I have time for today (edit: in fact, I hate the crown jewels line, that's out for now). Some "clunkiness" in there. Co-writer always welcome.

Untitled at the moment....
(c) Emmrich 2009

(v) old habit's die hard
that old saying is true
and I'm having trouble
staying clear of you

(v) Gave you one more chance
Seemed like a good idea
you knocked me down and stood me up
time for a kiss -- you disappear

(ch) You've wronged me and wronged me
too many times to count
I'm the king of fools
but I'm still
under your rule
you've got my ...
crown jewels

(v) I still need my fix
my desire is bad
I want to believe you
but I know I've been had

(v) I should have read the signs
must have missed that turn
You'd think I'd be a PHD
with the lessons I've learned

(chorus again)

(br) I know you're an addiction
a destructive vice
you'd think that destroying me once
would have sufficed

(chorus again)

Hi, Kevin, thanks for posting. (Hint: The song could be set up so that we don't know what or who the addiction is until the chorus.)

Hey, you asked for it. Just came up with this after reading the challenge guidelines. First try at this.

Possibly in the style of Hank Williams Jr. or Willy Nelson or some combination thereof.

(V)
Well, theres been some talk
amongst those I hold dear.
Say I smoke to much pot
and drink to much beer,
but after a long
investigation.
Ive found theres no need
for such speculation.

because...

(C)
All my friends say I do it just right
and if they could keep up
we might just rule this world.
Take all your worries and put them to rest
cause all of my friends say I do it just right

(V)
I told my friends
that they dont get the point.
I should put down the bottle
and pass the next joint.
Then Mikey "One Eye"
had something to tell us
"If they're holding you back
then they must be jealous"

(C)
All my friends say I do it just right
and if they could keep up
we might just rule this world.
Take all your worries and put them to rest
cause all of my friends say I do it just right

All of my friends say I still do it just right.

EDIT: While I was writing this I had a general idea of how I thought it should sound. It was something familiar, but I couldnt put my finger on it. I figured it out this morning. It was a Toby Kieth song called " I'll Never Smoke Weed with Willy Again." (Great funny song!) Thats the sound I was going for with this lyric.

Thanks for posting, Bater.

HI Jean Here's a song called goodfolks.

GoodFolks
All rights reserved.
V
Tobacco chew-en whiskey drink-en cigarette smoker.
Tell-en bad jokes to many four letter words.
Takes a bath and a drink in the kitchen sink.
Trim their nails with a pocket knife.
Occasional toker plays to much Internet poker.
Out of shape over weight doesn't bother me.
C
Goodfolks with bad habits make good friends to
I wanna be a friend with you
V
That old man pumps your gas check the oil
Wipes the glass in a small old time town
Those guys up at the local hardware store
ones you don't see around much anymore
The gal that serves coffee to men in the corner
For the last twenty some odd years or so
C
Goodfolks with bad habits make good friends to
I wanna be a friend with ,you
V
Their silly antics brightens up every bodies day
Leave you with a smile when you walk away
Better to give then to receive what they say
Words to live by can't imagine any other way
First in line when you need a helping hand
We all could use a friend just like them
C
Goodfolks with bad habits make good friends to.
I wanna be a friend with you.

Everybody needs a friend just like you.
I wanna be a friend with you.

Here's a link if you want to listen to the song

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6543514

That's cute, Scott. Like your hook. Thanks for posting.

i take a shot of red-eye
to calm my jittery nerves
and i've been known to stare real long
at women with double dip curves,
my wife doesn't understand me
says i'm gonna pay the price
those are but a few of my querkeries
be them naughty or nice

this took about 3 minutes to think this

Gonna make it into a song, Gary?

naw just funnin round with quick thoughts , I got so many on the back burner now don't need any more

OK, here's my on demand, habit kicking/stick with it anyway lyric. I know, not much sense yet, but this is a right now, write, so laugh and tell me how terrible it is, I can take it!


The Other White Meat
© 2009 Caroline Holder

I know it’s been a few weeks since the last time we talked
I just can’t get you off my mind, I think it’s the way you walk
Boy, I see you standing there in the ticket line
The way you look in them jeans could be a crime
You got all the girls hot on a frozen winter day
Me included, ever since you’ve looked my way

Chorus
Like fried chicken licked from my fingertips
I know you’ll go straight to my hips
You’re full of that flavor I can’t resist
Like a biscuit in gravy, you’re made for sopping
Or pork chops smothered with all the toppings
You in moderation can’t be a bad thing
Cause boy to me, you’re The Other White Meat

It’s not hard to see I can’t get past wanting you
I know you well enough, to know you want me too
Boy, you got something on the front of your shirt
Oops, that’s just me, trying to get my just deserts
You got all the moves any sane girl could desire
And I’ve got a furnace burning filled with fire

C-Repeat

Bridge
Tried to kick bad habits, my friends say you’re no good, but everytime you come around
My head fills up with static, it’s all I can do to not wrestle you to the ground

C-Repeat

HiDee Mz Jeannie B!

Finally got a chance to visit here & take a good shot at The Assignment today...Herewegoooo...

"MY FAVORITE BAD HABIT" (C) 2009 by Stan Good, BMI

You're My Favorite Bad Habit
The One I Just Can't Kick
I've Never Tried, Dang-nab-it
Tho I've Crossed Most "Off My List"

But You're My Favorite Bad Habit
(Stronger'n Nicotene)..
& When My Urges Take a Stab It
Aches Way-Down to My Spleen:

(CHORUS)
I Gotta Have You
I Gotta Grab You
I Gotta Caress & Possess & Mess-Around with You
(I am Addicted..Through-&-Through)
I Really Need You
Nothin' Supersedes You
I Got My Doubts You're-Good-for-My-Health
But My Better Judgement "Yes-Indeeds-You"...

And..

You're My Favorite Bad Habit
The One That Never-Sleeps
Outperforming Every Rabbit
Satisfaction's Guaranteed!

So You're My Favorite Bad Habit
My Nightlight After-Dark
That Little Death? Ready-to-Grab It
'Till Nothin's Left of My Poor Heart

(CHORUS)
I Gotta Love You
Enjoy Some-Of-You
I Gotta Bare & Share & Shed Underwear
(I am Addicted-Through-&-Through)
I'll Always Need You
Tho It's Hard-to-Read You
So Many Times I've Had to Close My Eyes
& Grit My Teeth as The Smiles just Bleed-Through

(TAG)
Life's Never Drab..It's Thanks To You
My Favorite Bad Habit...
(Doo-Wacka-Doo!)

(C) 2009 by Stan Good, BMI
All Rights Reserved.

Sizzling post, Caroline. Thanks for posting.

Favorite bad habit - good one, Stan.

This was fun

I'm down to only two packs a day
Gave up almost all my drinkin ways
Tryin to eat healthy and thinkin about workin out
But there's one vice I forgot about

C
Baby, can't seem to let you go
Though my broken heart wishes I'd let go
Tryin to cut all the ties
Ain't easy when the rope is strong that binds
We've been doin this same old song and dance
But we ain't gainin any floor
Time I gave leavin a chance
Kicked my bad habit, one last vice

Down to only one pack a day
Most the beers have been thrown away
I'm eatin healthy and started workin out
But there's one vice I forgot about

Repeat C

No more packs , No more beers
No more time wasted spillin tears
Your not the vice I forgot about
Repeat C
Kicked my bad habit, my one last vice

I've heard everything
You've said it all
Why did I have to go
And fall so hard

Fall in love
with you again
you're like a drug to me
you're my heroin

you've got me so
addicted to you
that i could never ever leave
i need some kind of rehab
for your oh so bad disease

your tainted love
runs through my veins
it makes nightmares
of your memories

I can't eat
and I can't sleep
I gotta get out of here
God give me some strength

You've got me so
addicted to you
that I could never leave
I need some kind of rehab
for your oh so bad disease

yeah i need some kind of rehab
for your oh so bad
your oh so bad diease

yeah yeah . . .

Hi Jean:

Glad to see you back on the boards at least for a while. How about one covering the entire addiction syndrome simply titled "Addiction". This was actually inspired by a segment of a talk show where they were talking about those who developed serious addictions to another person.


ADDICTION

c1999 Brian Beecher


Although past hurts can be quite hard
For you to forgive and forget
Doing so can allow you to make a fresh start

Even though conditions are in flux
You try to look for ways to move on
Yet memories are compromising your style of living

And the addiction consumes your soul
And you feel that you cannot let go
Although you tell yourself
You are going to get stronger
But the bill’s come due and
Cannot be put off any longer
You’ve got to try to move on it
Cannot be put off any longer

You may be able to find a few
Creative ways to fill the gap
Lack of willpower is a definite drawback

A social advance may be refused
A new venture may not be forthcoming
Still you may go out and let the compliments flow freely

And the addiction consumes your soul
And you feel that you cannot let go
Although you tell yourself
You are going to get stronger
But the bill’s come due and
Cannot be put off any longer
You’ve got to try to move on it
Cannot be put off any longer

You leave the one you’re with
And then it hits you
When the one you’re consumed with
Tells you you’re too big a risk
You’re told you’re too big a risk



So you start out on your new path
And all the while you are told
Set your sights high and rewards will likely follow

And yet you are rarely satisfied
With routine or ordinary results
You’re reminded success depends largely on your effort

And the addiction consumes your soul
And you feel that you cannot let go
Although you tell yourself
You are going to get stronger
But the bill’s come due and
Cannot be put off any longer
You’ve got to try to move on it
Cannot be put off any longer

You’ve got to try to move on it
Cannot be put off any longer

April and Naomi, Thanks for posting. Are you going to make a habit of it? (LOL)

Thanks for posting, Brian. I pop in and out when I can. Sometimes I forget to log out and it looks like I am on the boards but I'm not.

Hello Im new here so please allow me to make mistakes. I dont know what I am doing, any way I hope this song fits the catagory. I recorded it a few years ago but I dont know how to post the music. The insperation came from my keyboard player and good friend who has been fighting his drug addictions for most of his life.

The Jones

Life it aint been easy, since he went strait.
Cant see to navigate, through a crowd of flakes
I apologize sincerely, I hope its no mistake
you cant tug a sunken boat from a frozen lake.
(chorus)
Cold sweats and cigarettes. The monkeys junky shakes
midnight creeps and broken wings
I swear its not to late

Spill it till its empty, Methadone’s got you dazed
Half a cup of rotten luck, even you you're amazed
unaware and lonely barely standing from the quake
open doors for everyone, not you, you have to wait.

(chorus)
cold sweats, and cigarettes, the monkey’s junkie shake
midnight creeps and broken wings
I swear its not to late

I guess ya could hear it here www.myspace.com/thefreakbros

Thanks for posting, Brian. The song is definitely within the parameters. Sorry I am so late with this.

Tyrone, you have described addiction very well. Thanks for posting.

This is a piece I just posted on Lyric Feedback 2, but would fit here as well.


I DON’T DRINK COCKTAILS ANYMORE

c2001 Brian Beecher


After a recent period of hard work
I thought that perhaps it was time to splurge
There was so much I desired to do
Didn’t have a clue that one night I would bump into

A special someone at a bar or club
Who gave me confidence enough to cut
The ties to things that bound me for so long
And as time went on I would sing a different song

But baby I don’t drink cocktails anymore
I’ll be right back at home later on today
I know I have no hidden motives anymore
With you I can find a better way

It is not wise to drag out into the light
Intentions which might not materialize
I would lose track of what was going on
It will all be different when I arrive at home

And baby I don’t drink cocktails anymore
I’ll be right back at home later on today
I know I have no hidden motives anymore
With you I can find a better way

I didn’t want to hurt you in any way
I wanted to be free to go out and play
To work toward realizing an ideal
Just served to blind me to all that is real

But baby I don’t drink cocktails anymore
I’ll be right back at home later on today
I know I have no hidden motives anymore
With you I can find a better way

And baby I don’t drink cocktails anymore

Thanks for posting, Brian. This one fits the bill also.

I wrote this for FAWM. Though I posted it on the Lyrics 3 forum, hoping for critique, people by and large have avoided it like the proverbial plague. In any case, it certainly fits the 'bad habit' criterion.

Donna


Titty-Titty Bang-Bang

(v1)
He has osteopornosis
A degenerate disease
It’s left him weak and pallid
And shaky in the knees
He’s plastered to his widescreen
Like nectar draws the bees

Chorus
It’s osteopornosis
A millennium psychosis
It drives men to distraction
Needs no interaction
No mutual satisfaction
‘Cause it’s strictly DIY
And it’s titty-titty bang-bang
All through the night

(v2)
He has osteopornosis
And he doesn’t hear alarms
As he backs off from emotion
And a woman’s loving arms
When the liquid crystal ladies
Display their many charms

Chorus
It’s osteopornosis
A millennium psychosis
It drives men to distraction
Needs no interaction
As the ladies on the internet
Sing their siren song
And it’s titty-titty bang-bang
The whole night long

Bridge
His girlfriend now sleeps all alone
He locks the door behind him
Before too long he’ll reach a place
Where she can never find him

Chorus
It’s osteopornosis
A millennium psychosis
It drives men to distraction
Needs no interaction
No mutual satisfaction
‘Cause it’s strictly DIY
And it’s titty-titty bang-bang
All through the night

© 2010 Donna Devine

It surely does fit the criterion. Thanks for posting, Donna.

ok here's one bout my grandpa's mama, just a silly song.. thanks glyn

Grandpa's Mama Loved To Dip

Homemade cotton dresses worn below her knees
Hand embroidered hanky she kept in her apron pocket
To wipe her mouth when she'd dip, spit can by her side
Lace bonnet she’d put on and her favorite opal locket
Then to the porch to her rocking chair to watch us kids play outside

Until her dying day, nothing made her happier
Than to have a pinch of snuff between her gum and lip
She had a thin brown wrinkle from her mouth down to her chin
And pa’s home made brew she was known to take a nip
She’d do anything for her family you take care of your kin

Ch
Pa came by it honestly
All the folks in his family
Dipped from the time
They learned to walk
In the morning when
Their feet hit the floor
Till they hit the hay at night
Everyone of em’ was a dippin and a spittin’
A brown juicy stream of Honest Snuff

I’ll always remember
How my grandpa’s mama loved to dip

Once my cousin Derle snuck out a can of snuff
And a pint of pa’s hidden corn receipe
Well Derle , he went first, put that snuff into his mouth
Started coughing,gagging,made me laugh,it got the best of me
Bending over head between his knees

So me, being who I am,’I’d have to out do em’
I took a big ole’ swig of pa's white delight
Man that stuff burnt from my throat on down to my feet
I knew someone was gonna be sicker than a DOG tonight
I came out belly crawling beggin the lord PLEEEAASSEE.......

Don’t see how Pa’s ma could love to dip

Pa came by it honestly
All the folks in his family
Dipped from the time
They learned to walk
In the morning when
Their feet hit the floor
Till they hit the hay at night
Everyone of em’ was a dippin and a spittin’
A long juicy stream of Honest Snuff

I’ll always remember
How my grandpa’s mama love to dip

Bridge
Today I close my eyes …I can still see… pa’s mama rocking on that porch
Me sittin crossed legged watchin, trying my darnest to learn to spit
Yeah I’ll always remember grandpa’s mama loved to dip


nother song by: glyn


Edited by glynda (Today at 04:23 PM)