JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum 38 (collab with Joice Marie)

Good morning JPFers!

Well, JM did it to me again. She went and wrote some killer lyrics that I just had to make some music for. Let us know what you think.
Thanks,

Ricki

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7765109

JM's 2nd mix
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7767753

38

Joice Marie & Ricki E. Bellos

38, a haircut. and a blind date
Sure hope he won't be late
Yeah, I got a feeling this time
Everything's gonna be fine this time

I've had a string of bad ones
One night stands 'n 'shouldn't have dones
The boo hoo 'leave me low' kinda guy
Im at the point I won't try that kinda guy

38, seems perfect and I feel great
I'm wiping off the slate
All the zero losers in my life
I'm thinking positive tonight for my life

I'm done with all the yearning
Kept missing love but now I'm learning
You get what you give from inside
I'm gonna give it my best from inside

38, a new outfit it must be fate
Heart open eyes wide awake
I'm gonna take whatever comes in stride
Looking to take this ride in stride

Leave the roller coaster behind
As a beholder he looks fine in my mind
He's a diamond cut a little rough
Spit 'n polish will smooth out a little rough

38, to feel this good I had to wait
Clock's ticking cant hesitate
I'm gonna try my best this time
Yeah, gonna make this one mine this time

38, a blind date
I feel great
It must be fate
I had to wait
For 38

Very cool, ladies...

Music is a great match, Ricki - manages to capture the "seen it all but still hopeful" feeling in the lyric. Great job on that, joice.

Love the harmony part - level seems right to me. I like the answering part too. I know it has to be lower in volume but I think there might be room to bring it up just a little bit. I dunno, maybe not. It's close.

Love the outro. The percussion sounds like a heartbeat. Expect that was done on purpose.

I might leave the percussion off the section just before the outro. Either that or bring it up some in volume. Right now, it's just at the level for me where you can here it but can't quite tell what it is.

Really dig the song and performance!

Scott

Hi girls,

Smiling here, thanks !
I enjoyed the whole thing.
GREAT ENDING.

Scott mentioned this...
I like the answering part too.
"I know it has to be lower in volume but I think there might be room to bring it up just a little bit.

I'd like to see that volume the same as the rest !

Overall, a very cool piece orf work.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Is this all you, Ricki? If so, maybe you should think about splitting up the duties with Joice (she could add vocals and percussion) -- that would be killer.

As is, this is pretty well done and yes, the harmonies are working just right for me. If you decide to re-cut this with Joice, listen to Rickie Lee Jones just before doing the vocals (seems like a song she would do.)

P.S.: The ending was hot.

Kevin

Hi Scott

Thanks for the super feedback on the Mix --- I tried to adjust so If you come back -- let us know if it works for you now......

Ricki did a fabulous job on this - once again - she really did nail the feel. Her delivery is way cool and she also made some real nice tweaks to the lyrics. Thanks Ricki ! for all you did here. : ) jm

nice song and interesting presentation.

Consider getting the melody of the last 2 syllables of these lines the same as the "yearning learning"...2 syllable rhymes

I've had a string of bad ones
One night stands 'n 'shouldn't have dones

I'm done with all the yearning
Kept missing love but now I'm learning

Leave the roller coaster behind
As a beholder he looks fine in my mind

Hi,

Just wanted to say I LIKE the volume increase in miz 2, thanks.

Calvin

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Neato torpedo girls. All the way around. mx 2.

have fun,
John

Version 2 seemed much clearer to my ear.
What a cool song. I really like songs that I don't expect and look at our human condition in ways I haven't heard before. This certainly achieved that freshness.
Very good work and collaboration.
Tom

Hi Scott,

Thanks for giving this a listen and comment. There's another mix up now, JM did her magic. Hope you like it as well. About the percussion:
"The percussion sounds like a heartbeat".
Yeah, a heartbeat, yeah, that's it, a heartbeat, that's what it's supposed to be!

Ricki

Hi Calvin,

Thanks for listening, twice, even! Glad you like the new and improved mix. JM is cool to work with, I don't care what you say about her!

Ricki

Hi Kevin,

Thanks for taking time to listen and comment. Yes, it is all me. I mentioned to JM if she wanted to re-do the harmonies, or even the main vocal, she should do so. For now, I think we'll see where the feedback takes us before we invest any more time and effort into it. But then, you never know! Glad you like it so far.

Ricki

Hi Ricki,

Very nice collab!

I like the alternating, layered vocals in the verses, the guitar slaps, the harmonies in the D/C/D/C part.

It has a coffeehouse, kinda Suzanne Vega feel, and a little beatnik thing going on too, I love all of the above.

On paper I didn't care for the identity rhymes, but they sing fine.

I enjoyed this very much.

Mike

Listening to the 2nd mix, ya'll sound good together, Hey 38 is prime..wait til ya hit 48

LOL

I like mix 2 better.

Not sure of the timing in the percussion during the verse before the outro... I'll go listen again.

Back again - yeah, still feels like a timing issue between percussion and guitar. Dunno - maybe it's just me....

Really like this song....

Scott

Hi Neil

Thanks so much for having a listen and your thoughts... We be thinking on them ; )
best regards
jm

Hi Calvin

Sorry -- I Just went out of order !! --- but thanks so much for the support -- I love what Ricki did especially on that ending and you vote about the mix helped me get right on it -- so I'm happier now with it all.

Have a real fine evening

jm

Hi Kevin

YES it's all Ricki -- I have a Hard Time messing too much with something that I like so well out of the gate.....

She had already encouraged me to add some vocal and percussion to this -- but I really wanted to just give this mix the best sound that I could....

I'll play a little too at some point ---- and see if I can NOT mess it up.. ha ! Really I just love her whole attitude in this and her Harmonies are Great !

Thanks for Yet another push -- jm

Ricki,

You are so talented. You always bring something fresh and inventive to the music. I love the harmonies and am very jealous, since I suck at harmony. JM - This is a nice lyric. I like the idea of qualifying the bad romances with a number. At least you used something realistic (not like my song 999,000 times).

Ricki/JoiceM, this is a really cool little song. Resonates a bit with me, having just turned 38 last month - 37 seemed a much nicer age! - I'm in need of a bit of haircut, too, and recently asked a lady out on a date for the first in ages - and she said no! The old Lucian charms are deserting me. Oh, the one night stands... many fond memories of times gone by.

It's a good write by JM and, like MikeZ, I had a few concerns reading the lyrics about some of the structures but you did a great job with it melodically Ricki.

Lucian

Hey JM,

Thanks a heap for the opportunity. You are such a joy to work with.
This was a fun one.

Ricki

Hi Neil,

Thanks for taking time to listen and giving us suggestions. Glad you liked it.

Ricki

Hi Calvin,

Thanks for the repeat listen. I think JM's got it now!

Ricki

Hi John,

Neato torpedo! That's a new one on me. Thanks! I think! Hey, that could be our show name, The Neato Torpedo Girls!

Ricki

Hi Tom,

Thanks for listening and commenting. I'm glad I was able to match JM's cool lyrics with some cool music. Appreciate your time.

Ricki

Ricki & Joice,

I remember seeing this on the lyric board…Hearing it now is really cool.

Joice…I like how you focus it around her age and empower her with a positive attitude.

Ricki….enjoyed your harmonies and music…and I also really liked how you end it…it highlights it so much it’d be fun to have it start that way too…

Very enjoyable girls!

Kristi

Hi Mike,

Thanks for stopping by to listen to our latest and glad you enjoyed it. I'm old enough to remember beatniks. YIKES!

Ricki

Hi Louis,

I don't allow my other selves to perform in public, yet. It's just me this time. And I'm looking 58 square in the face. EEEEEEEEEEEK!!!

Ricki

Hi Scott,

Thanks for being a repeat offender. I mean listener! Yeah, not being terribly coordinated, it's entirely possible I did something slightly off. I'll blame it on the extreme heat that night too. Yeah, that's it, the heat made me do it!

Ricki

The harmonies remind me of the Judds and the lyrics make me think of Shawn Colvin. Very good job guys!!! Kim

Hey ladies...

What an interesting little song! I didn't hear the first mix, so I have nothing to compare. But, this sounded pretty cool! I remember 38...it was only 24 years ago! I was living in Denver, CO. and stationed at Fitzsimons Army Medical Center (I taught at the Army's School Of Opticianary).

really enjoyed this one. Very creative, indeed. All the best.

Alan

Hi Wendy,

Thanks for the visit and comments. I don't often hear the harmony for a song but when I do, I figure I'd better go with it. I think you misunderstood the "38" to be the number of the next man in her life. Others apparently mistook it to be a gun or her breast size, but it's her age. Hope that doesn't spoil it for you?

Ricki

Hi Lucian,

Thanks for listening and letting us know you like this one. Ah, 38! If only I'd known then what I know now! Actually, this was more like me at 28, but who's counting?

Ricki

Hi Kristi,

Thanks for the listen and comments. I was drawn by the empowering and hopeful lyrics too. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Ricki

Hi Kim,

Thanks for stopping by and letting us know you liked this. The Judds and Shawn Colvin! Gotta love that!

Ricki

Hi Al,

Thanks for taking time to listen and letting us know you enjoyed this. Yeah, I remember 38, brown hair and no back pain! What a difference a few years can make!

Ricki

this is a really creative tune, i like it. because the lyrics are so original and fun and unique in terms of word choice, i found myself craving some variety in the pacing, like a slew of choppy stocatto really fast words to show them off a bit...you could do this on the choruses, just add like twice as many words and sing them fast and choppy. i wish i had an example...

that choppy, fast, punctuated words would play nicely off the toms, too. they could do a sort of duet.

thanks for sharing this.

Hi Babette,

Thanks for taking time to listen and comment. I thought it was pretty creative lyrically as well. Nothing is outside of the realm of possibilities so thanks for the suggestions.

Ricki

Hi Ricki and All

Just a Big thanks here to Ricki for doing all the responses while I've been sleeping and recovering -- I've been under the weather --- but getting back up and running again so I'll thank you all in turns soon also !! The responses are greatfully appreciated.

jm

Hi John

Thanks for the 2 vote !! : ) jm

Hi Tom

Thanks a Big bunch for the compliments -- Ricki really does magic ! jm

Hi Mike !

well thanks for coming to a new place on this one -- Ricki SAved this from 'Folderville'
I remember thinking that your comments on the Lyric only - were maybe too kind... you know i can take real critiques when you have them, at least I Hope that you know. ; ) jm

Hi Mike !

well thanks for coming to a new place on this one -- Ricki SAved this from 'Folderville'
I remember thinking that your comments on the Lyric only - were maybe too kind... you know i can take real critiques when you have them, at least I Hope that you know. ; ) jm

Hi Louis

I think that you are correct !!! about 38 !

jm

Hi Scott

Maybe --- just maybe --- I'll get to play with the percussion sometime. I appreciate your thoughts. Thanks !

jm

Hi Wendy

I like that 38 could mean that it was the 38th effort or guy -- you have a Real cool mind. : ) and I'm so glad that you are a song writer -- you raise the bar. jm

Hi Lucian

Happy Birthday !

well glad that the whole is working for you and Not to worry --- just keep your thinking young at heart..... it's only a number. jm

Hi Kristi

I always like seeing your smiling avatar ! Thanks for giving it your time and encouragement.

jm

Hi Kim !

very flattering remarks -- i love Shawn Colvin
jm

Hi Alan

So glad to hear that you enjoyed it ! Thanks for that . jm