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Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
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Lamb.wavv
by Gary E. Andrews - 06/05/26 04:07 PM
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What Would It Take
Sifting thru the memories
Of a past best left forgotten
Drinkin from an empty well
That's rarely had a bottom
An endless string of one night stands
Mindless chatter and traffic jams
Seems it all plays out the same
You said you love me
But I'd never change
Chorus
What would it take
To bring you back to me
I can still be the man
You thought I could be
Let's make a new start
Before it's too late
Can I still reach your heart
What Would It Take
We both fought our demons
The pain in the past
We've been through it all
Know it chapter and verse
I'd walk thru the fire
For better or worse
It's time to start livin
Could you just tell me this
(Repeat Chorus)
Bridge
Is it a ring on your finger
The promise of forever
A friend and a lover
Never say never
I see the fire in your eyes
Flames of passion not your lies
I know you want
A love that will last
But you can't have the future
If you live in the past
Tell me
(Repeat Chorus)
© 2009 Larry Westfall
Last edited by in2piano; 07/03/09 10:11 PM.
Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
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Hey there Larry,
Oohhhh Larry......I am loving this lyric of yours!!! I think it is terrific!
It is just filled with terrific lines:
* "You can't have a future If you live in the past"
* "What would it take to wake up your heart"
This is very well written.
Kind wishes,
Gail
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Gail...thanks so much for the kind words...
Larry
Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
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HiDee Brother Larry!
LIKE the Theme & Hook Here, Amigo!
My ear didn't like how ya broke the Rhyme Pattern. V1's ABCBDDEE..V2's ABCDEDFG.
I'd sug "rarely" for "Never had a bottom" because Never implies he's STILL Drinking-Away his relationship.
While your Hook & Chorus are pretty-good, I find it's not EXACTLY solving the Singer's Problem. He asks The Questions, KNOWING the Answer.
WILL give him Credit though...he argues a Good Case! Heckovea GREAT Bridge, too!
I'll exit with Mixed Emotions...feelin' Good that Gals Apparently Dig It..(& that's really All That Counts, Amigo!)
Good Luck with it!
Big Guy-Hug,
Stan
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Larry, I love the lines in this,
really great lines.
geneva
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This i a real nice one. verse 2 does seem to be different to my mid from verse 1 in terms of rhyming etc. But I like the ideas here and the way verse 1 reads.
Well Done
Alan
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Larry,
I really love this! What an inspired lyric. Beutiful work IMO
I think Stan had some great concerns. It's an absolute to get the rhyme pattern in the verses identical, and to my eyes, first verse got a little wordy and could perhaps benefit from a cleanup.
But aside from those doables, I think this is great!
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Larry....this is one of your best....do I have suggs?...oh, sure(you know ME)....but all I wanted to say...other than the r. scheme that is off...as has been pointed out...you are getting the structure in there and you know I am a stickler on that....I am loving what you have started here.....you go boy!
Jan
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Larry here's my suggestion for the chorus KOS
I like it has potential, good luck
Chorus
What would it take
To bring you back to me
I know I'm not the man
That you thought I could be
What would it take
TO GIVE US make a new start
What would it take
To OPEN wake up your heart
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Good morning Stan:
Thanks for the great sugs....I was cleanin up the work table a bit, knew it had some problems but needed help on the "paring"....Sometimes I challenge the alphabet on rhymin schemes...it was easier playing the piano cause I got to use all 88 keys...lol
Thanks Brother
Larry
Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
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Geneva..
Thanks for you visit and kind words.
Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
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Alan...I agree...I almost felt like I was writin two diffrent tunes here but thats the way it came pourin outta my brain.
Thanks for your time
Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
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Magne...
Thanks for takin the time to read....
I will definately be takin a scalpel to her....sometimes you need help when you're operating on your own kid...lol
Larry
Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
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Mornin Gary...
Thanks for the sugs bud...she's kinda like a puzzle right now.
Larry
Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
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Jan....hmmm.....well...you know...lol
Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
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Larry,
very nice. as others have said some very poignant lines. The only thing I would do is remove the one night stands from v1.
have fun,
John
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
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Hey John..
She's like a girl in her 4th trimester....lol
Thanks for takin the time to read.
Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
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Hi Larry,
We both fought our demons
The pain in the past
We've been through it all
FROM THE FIRST PAGE TO THE LAST
I'd walk thru the fire
For better or worse
It's time to start livin
Could you just tell me this
Terry
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I saw this on the other site, I just realized it was you. Nice job as I said on the other site.  Kimberly
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Miss Kim and Terry....Believe me...the ed's are gonna kill this thing once we getter past a worktape..and I Like your sug Terry gonna hafta see how it sings out brother...
Thanks for the read...
Larry
Last edited by in2piano; 06/25/09 09:24 PM.
Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
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I only did that so it would be in keeping with your first verse rhyme scheme.
TT
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I know there is a rhyming scheme issue as yet not fully addressed. The music that's boiling around in my head might pull it off (or not)...see what you guys think....
Larry
Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
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Hi Larry,
I have to agree with the others.This is good stuff.I'm not really good with the rhyming schemes so I didnt noticed anything out of place.I feel that its a very heartfelt and very well written lyric.
Michelle
*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue
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I just read your rewrite,
I remember reading it before the editing.
It's very good, you worked those suggestions well.
Geneva
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Just think Rascal Flatts "Everyday" on this as a background (I know..as if...lol..)
What Would It Take
Sifting thru the memories
Of a past best left forgotten
Drinkin from an empty well
That's rarely had a bottom
An endless string of one night stands
Mindless chatter and traffic jams
Seems it all plays out the same
You said you love me
But I'd never change
Chorus
What would it take
To bring you back to me
I can still be the man
You thought I could be
Let's make a new start
Before it's too late
Can I still reach your heart
What Would It Take
We both fought our demons
The pain in the past
We've been through it all
Know it chapter and verse
I'd walk thru the fire
For better or worse
It's time to start livin
Could you just tell me this
(Repeat Chorus)
Bridge
Is it a ring on your finger
The promise of forever
A friend and a lover
Never say never
I see the fire in your eyes
Flames of passion not your lies
I know you want
A love that will last
But you can't have the future
If you live in the past
Tell me
(Repeat Chorus)
© 2009 Larry Westfall
Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
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Larry,
Revisited this after your rewrite. Still like it :-)
The lines in verse three came to mind:
But you can't have the future
If you live in the past
I can't follow what you are saying, coming from these lines into the last chorus which goes:
What would it take
To bring you back to me
I understand your intention, but these lines in conjunction get to sound like the protagonist don't want them together anyway (as they were together in the past)..
It's a tough one, as these lines are really great.. but perhaps I only see one interpretation. Still, IMO all possible interpretations should be supported, if possible?
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Hey Mags...
Let me look into this...I need to really think this thru before I get back to you...been writin for 17 hours today so need a break.
Thanks for the feedback bro.
Larry
Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
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Hi Larry, Hope you're doing well. The rhyme suggestion is MY only nit. Looking forward to hearing it sometime. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Larry,
I wouldn't do much to this. Maybe "you said you loved me" instead of love me. But to me that bit of past tense is important to what follows.It's a good plea. Could be very emotional.
Have fun,
John
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
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This is a very nice, tight write that flows well. Good work, Larry.  Donna
Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.
Life is too important to take seriously.
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John and Donna...
I really appreciate your comments...got a good demo crew on this one...and as always I can't stop re-writin her until the words spill outta their mouths....and then the work really starts...lol
Everybody have a great 4th.
Larry
Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
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Calvin...I hope you are doing well down "there in Floridia"...heard times are tuff on your part of the planet..Up here in Oregon we have the 2nd worst un-employment rate behind Michigan...the creative arts always suffer during these times in the schools...seems like the suits don't understand that music has all of what they hold dear...math, sports, grammar, name it...I can't save all the music programs (and I do enjoy sports...) but they are killin something that has such an enduring value to all....just my thoughts...
Have a Good 4th bud.....
Larry
Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
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