JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Half Hearted (collab with Joice Marie)

Here is JM's and my contribution to Creative Challenge #3.

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7522438

Half Hearted
©2009 Joice Marie & Ricki E. Bellos

Ferris wheel is spinning
You’re staring at the ground
Lost in what you're thinking
A barker’s voice brings you round

You glance at ....
Half hearted me
I see ......
Half hearted you
Half hearted,.... seems
The best we can do

Colored lights tint the nightscape
Whistle pops and carnival sounds
Muffle my heart breaking
Seems smiles are just for clowns

You glance at....
Half hearted me
I see ....
Half hearted you
Half hearted seems
The best we can do

How to say love's lost its luster
Time changes everything
With all the compassion we can muster
Let's slip off our golden rings

You glance at...
Half hearted me
I see...
Half hearted you
Half hearted seems
The best we can do

Even circus clowns know
Half hearted is
The best we can do

Hi - these collabs are coming in thick and fast now and this is another winner. Ricki, you do a great job on bringing out the emotion in Joyce's lyric. Very nice work.

Nige

How do some people do this...a great song every time?

Ricki, I love the emotions in the vocals and I can hear then nice and clear and didn't miss a word...very beautiful.

Joice-nice writing, love the hook.

Great collaboration!

Wow!
you two wowed me

Hi girls.

~ W O W ~

Everything about this is beautiful....even the tear running down my cheek.

Joice, the lyrics are real special
Ricki, your sing is so rich and warm and real.
Susan Boyle is great, but wait till the world hears you.

~ W O W ~

I know you both gotta be happy with this piece.
Sit back and listen one more time and soak up the beauty of it.

Thank you both for sharing.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
_________________________
Calvin

Such a lovely lyric, Joice. Some exquisite lines in it.
Beautiful melody and vocals, Ricki. You really caught the "feel"
of the text.

Another excellent example of a good collaboration.

Donna

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Y'all are great!

Nigel, can you feel me breathing down your neck?

Vicki, sometimes everything falls into place, sometimes it just falls apart. Uh-oh! I smell a hook!

Dan, when was the last time you were wowed by two women?

Calvin, another one wowed. I can feel the power!

Donna, these lyrics caught me before I even finished reading them. I felt the 3/4 rhythm before I got to the bridge and the rest came as soon as I sat down with my guitar. I love it when it happens like that.

JM, I couldn't have done it if I hadn't felt the lyrics. They really spoke to me. Thanks a ton for such a great piece of writing to work with.

Ricki

Ricki and Joice,

Joice:

With all the compassion we can muster
Let's slip off our golden rings

...that's just devastatingly amazing (and sad) writing. that one floored me The lyric as a whole is brilliant.

Ricki,

Your voice sounds like an innocent child sometimes, and I think it would work great with happy tunes. Then I hear this, and am blown away by how "knowing" a rendition you give.

Very moving work, to tears and beyond, a nice marriage of music and lyric.

Mike

HI Ricki



I want to speak to you publicly here FirsT

If I could Tell you what Your work here has Done for me , I would -- but words cannot convey the WOW that I feel.. so I will leave it at that..

I also would like to mention thaT Ricki ALSO made these lyric Much better -- just so you all know !!

and Ricki - please add your full name and Date to the top --- because I cannot Hear any Other melody taking the place of yours. Thank You for the great playing and singing too.

jm

Hi Nigel

I'm really glad that you like this Thanks
It's also real Nice to have the station that you put up jm

Hi Vicki

There are a LOt of real talented people here - Ricki is one.

Thanks for your comments ! and stick around jm

Hi Dan

You're very sweet ! jm

Hi Calvin

Ahhhhhh you TOO -- very sweet ! Thanks jm

Hi Donna

Well your comment IS also very flattering. I seem to do Much better with some help ! jm

Hi Mike

Well I have found that the really Hard choices in life teach me the most. Often a lyric draws Something from a life experience and then the ArT filters it through time. But I also think distance from the experience is essential. If that makes any sense. So this is a story that I KNOw about --- but it's not exactly My story. Ricki being Such a Real artist has tapped into that place too here, even though it is not her story -- she delivers it Like It Is -- that's So impressive. Thanks for your thoughts. jm

A sad lyric but you definitely use words in a way that were not common or familiar so it kept my attention. Only thing lyrically that felt odd was the "barker's voice" A dog makes a barking sound. Just some possible suggestions:

You Have:

Ferris wheel is spinning
You’re staring at the ground
Lost in what you're thinking
High above the town/head up in the clouds/feet not touching ground

Best,
Lynn

This might be the saddest song I've heard in a long time.

Love it

The idea of these folks wandering around a carnival surrounded by happy people knowing that their relationship is at an end is truly heartbreaking.

That's the second time in two days I've used that word with a song that Ricki is involved with. You're killing me here, Ricki.

Great lyric, Joice - great rendition, Ricki

Scott

Ahh so that's what it was!! I thought it was my dog!!

Pretty wonderful Ricki and Joice,

I really enjoyed listening to this. It's super musical.

The only thing I question is the emphasis of 'can' at the end of the chorus. I don't understand why this word is emphasized? Regardless, I was moved by this tune.

Peace,

Ian

What did you call me?

Excellent. Great lyrics, music and performance. It's a winner through and through.

Kevin

Hi Ladies,

Well. I figured it was just a matter of time before you two put your talented noggins together .... and the result is nothing less than I would expect -- PRIMO!!

Joice, your melancholy lyric is the perfect fit for Ricki's musical interpretation and powerful-but-intimate vocal. This is sad, sad, sad, right across the board. The hook itself is particularly heart-breaking. Such a sense of defeat and resignation...

I also love how you've incorporated the ferris wheel as a metaphor, since the participants are basically "going thru the motions", they're "just along for the ride", they're stuck there until the ride's over, etc. It also sets up a nice contrast for Life Going On Around and Without them -- in a seeminly joyful way (what's more fun than a carnival?!).

I wonder if the use of a carousel might be possible here too....since the horses go up and down (life's ups and downs)...but nah, I think the ferris wheel is better.

The bridge is just spectacular, and Ricki, you squeeze every musical and emotional ounce from it.

How to say love's lost its luster
Time changes everything
With all the compassion we can muster
Let's slip off our golden rings

Well, I could go on and on, I understand you both have lives to lead....so all in all, a perfect collaboration.

Cheers,
Beth

P.S. Oh, I forgot -- kudos for steering away from the tempting cliche of the "tears of a clown"... "As if...."

Hey girls....very nice!

Joice….….great lyric with images that take us somewhere vivid and real...

Ricki…enjoyed the melody and the soft vocal that brings out the emotion behind those words.

Great song, girls! Great song.

Kristi

Damn, that's sad! And one of the prettiest melodies I've heard in a long time. Tore my heart out, yet I'll play this one over and over.

Joice, your lyric certainly touches a nerve...in a sad, yet pleasant way. Wonderful writing!

And Ricki, your voice is so soothing and sweet that it makes the heartache in this song all the more bearable.

I'm proud of both of you.

Greg

Hi Lynn

Thanks for your time listening and comments. Yes it Is a sad story -- but one many people face in their own way ending a long relationship... so another story to share through music.

My feeling about the "Barker" is that it is actually a Perfect fit, in this case... the setting/Set UP is a Carnival/fair .... one of the images that comes to my mind is the guys on the fairway beckoning the passers by......... Hurry hurry hurry, step right up........ ---I see it as a "Mocking" behind the moment - of sorts /another contrast to the SERIOUS thing going on between the 2 characters.. Just the same as mentioning a clown and the ferris wheel in this.

as far as word choice -- I TRY to find the Different but Still Conversational kinds of language -- I don't Want to sound like every other country song -- it is a choice.

Anyway - just trying to share with you how I think about these things. Best wishes . jm

OH -- I also wanted to say that Ricki actually made that Line superior and much Cleaner in her version --- got rid of some extra words --- and it makes a Huge difference, I think - thanks for that R !!

Hi Mike,
Thanks so much for the "nice marriage of music and lyric". That was my goal.

Hi Scott,
"You're killing me here". Hey, I do what I can!

Hi Ian,
I'm glad you enjoyed this one. What can I say? Iyam what Iyam!

Hi Kevin,
Thanks for thinking this is a winner. We're pretty happy with it too.

Hi Beth,
Thanks for listening. Once all the stars were aligned, our noggins fell into place.

Hi Kristi,
I'm glad you enjoyed this joint effort. Thanks for letting us know.

Hi Greg,
Pretty and sad, huh? Yeah, we're both proud of this one.

Hey JM,
You handed me a nicely wrapped package. All I had to do was straighten the bow! Thank you for THAT!

Hi Scott

Sorry to sadden you --- but Yeah Ricki nailed it !!

I don't think that it is possible to escape thIS kind of feeling from a loss of love in ones life somewhere - if not from choice then from death - but we all Can feel it, so I think the song will work for most as a Just plain sad thing.

Thanks a bunch for stopping to listen. jm

HI Ian

Glad that you like this one too Thanks!!

HI Kevin

Thank YOU ! Nice to hear .

Hi Beth

Thanks a Bunch for all the kind feedback -- glad that the metaphor works well for you --- yeah the carousel would work too....

Glad that you like the bridge and mentioning it here too.

I really think, as you know, Ricki is Quite the talent - I'm Honored by her presence on this.

Best regards
jm

Hi Kristi

Thank You so Much - you are very kind. jm

Hi Greg

Yes - it Sure is a good thing that Ricki sounds So nice and made such a pretty melody for this... it makes the very Sad story able to get Told, I think... nice to know that you can listen to it, in spite of the sadness. Thank you very much for your comments jm

HI Ricki

Thanks again so Much -- we Know what you Did ! !

Ricki and Joice,
Beautiful song. Your styles are perfectly suited to each other on this song.
Rick

I remember when Joice had this posted as a lyric down in Lyric 3. That seems like a long time ago. You guys did a brilliant job with this one. I'm a sucker for the sad song, so it wasn't a stretch that I would enjoy this one.

Hi Rick,

Thanks for listening and letting us know you like it.

Ricki

Hi Wendy,

Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I really need to get over to those lyric forums. I can only imagine what I've been missing!

Ricki

Let me jump in with a BIG WOW too... this part says it all for me "Half hearted me
I see...
Half hearted you"

How can something so sad be so pleasurable?

It's like an early 70's classic to me. I really love everything about this one... all that wonderful imagery and such a horrid situation...Damn! You both found the beauty in this and brought it front and center. That's art.

Hi Louis,

Thanks for listening and for the BIG WOW!

Ricki

Hi Mark,

"How can something so sad be so pleasurable?" I think because we are all, basically, masochists. Hey, thanks for taking time to listen and comment.

Ricki

Absolutely beautiful.it was very sad,but very beautiful.in all honestly one of the most touching songs i have ever heard...anywhere!

really touching lyrics Joice

compassionate and thoughtful-even when you are writing about trying to unload some guy you just dont feel the fire for anymore........great singing as always Ricki..

Tom

Hi Michelle,

Thank you for taking time to listen and let us know how much you like it. With JM's lyrics, there was only one way for me to go with it, sad

Hi Tom,

Thanks for stopping by. I probably would have just thrown him off the top of the ferris wheel, but that song might not have come out as well as this.

Ricki

HI Rick

Thank YOU for your kind feedback -- Well I'd work with Ricki Anytime and You also !! Still Love our song jm

Hi Wendy

Thanks - I've Sure had enough life experience for the material !!
YEs It WAS a long time ago on the lyric !!!! there's a long list waiting for their turn... wonder if we'll get to another challenge like this .... still quite a few on that thread...

I love what you do too. jm

Hi Louis

Thanks for the big wow -- for me when the hook dropped on me - it was clearly a song. love that ! and that Ricki felt it too. jm

HI Mark

Glad that you can see the beauty -- the buddist believe that we need the sad to see the happy , good/bad etc..... sooooo... there ya go!

Thanks for coming here to listen and tell us your thoughts. jm

HI Mark

Glad that you can see the beauty -- the buddist believe that we need the sad to see the happy , good/bad etc..... sooooo... there ya go!

Thanks for coming here to listen and tell us your thoughts. jm