JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Monster - new unplugged version posted

influenced by the Shelley book
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6837553

Here's the "unplugged" version - string quartet is from the Roland orchestral card
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6967014

Good singing (is it just me or are we having a rash of good singers joining the JPF?). I didn't really follow the story line at all, but that isn't too important.

One thing to look at: the "s", "sh" and "t" sounds were exploding on the recording. Need to find a way to cut back on that in your recordings.

Kevin

Good pair of silk stockings and a coat hangar would do the trick, you could use the the other spare stocking to go out plundering and pillaging like us saxons do every other Friday.

Nice tune

Dude

Thanks Kevin and Mark. Yes - I do tend to have a lot of plosives. Need those old stockings and hangers!!

Nice sounding song. I would have liked to have been able to read the lyrics, but I enjoyed it anyway. Good work.

You've definately got a good voice.

interesting take..enjoyed the lyrics i could make out, but missed a lot..please post the lyrics, i'd like to listen again. nice melody and lift on the chorus.

..ant

Thanks guys!
here are the words

Monster
Am I real or just imagination
Living this life in crowded isolation
Did my biology just frighten you
I'm your monster and I will remind you

If you can only see through me
Then you will find inside a heart that's beating
And you will find a spirit slowly dying
Then you will know that I'm just a man

Who needs a lover
Touch my fingers and you will discover
I can feel anything that you do
I'm your monster and I will remind you


If you can only see through me
Then you will find inside a heart that's beating
And you will find a spirit slowly dying
Then you will know that I'm just a man

I'm a reflection of your own rejection
Everything that you wanted so bad
So why blame me if I quit on this world gone mad
I'm a slave and not the master
Of this mad impulse I must obey
Maybe some love will help me find my way

Did my psychology disturb you
I'm your monster and I will remind you
I can feel everything that you do
I'm your monster and I will remind you


If you can only see through me
Then you will find inside a heart that's beating
And you will find a spirit slowly dying
Then you will know that I'm just a man

Hi Darius,

I'm one of those who need the lyrics and I just noticed that you did post them, so, thanks for that. Great story, loved the chorus. Your voice is so light, contrasted with such sad, dark lyrics. Well done all the way around.

Ricki

Ricki, thanks for the comments.

Updated the song file - I had meant to upload this version but couldn't find it so I used the "unplugged" version. This one is "plugged"
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6837553

Hi

Well we are really getting a lot of variety on the boards theses days I love that!
And a list of equipment used that was neat liked that too.

This was very different... very pretty song. This has 80's pop written all over it Wow!
I haven't heard a song like this in quite some time.

There are beautiful hooks throughout this whole song, and I mean on the instruments as well as the vocals. Piano and rythym guitar were excellent, great ideas musically on everything.

Here's the catch on this song -This was done very well in EVERY regard.
And also it can use a touch of improvement in every regard as well

It's so close but to get this one to really sit over the top or to make someone believe that this was a big hit record in 1985 by Spandau Ballet and we are are just going back to re-vsit it

We need to tighten every body up, starting with the drums. A little more feel/groove And I would take away those re-occuring Bonham triplet rolls also.
Starting with the ones at the intro...

That great guitar move a little as well, that pattern needs to be dead on. As with the bass but it all starts with that drum feel.

The piano was solid... don't let that high one cut off so abruptly let it ring a little with some reverb. Also it plays choppy through out, NICE! but don't be afraid to let some big chords sustain and hold.

The songs has very cool lyrics and nice melodies the chorus starts out great.
Great Hook and flow the way played out and resolved was the only thing that might have kept this from being a hit song. Very very close, B side for sure but maybe A side.

Good vocal needs to be a bit stronger and louder in the mix. Nice harmonies as well.

The song has that great lifting mellow feel that is perfect for it's style time and genre.
Only it never hits that one note the one part or two that says okay "Hit Song"
Like in Spandau Ballet's song "True"

Here is a link to that song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYb83KM4at4

If you can only see through me
Then you will find inside a heart that's beating
And you will find a spirit slowly dying
Then you will know that I'm just a man

This section bolded is where it needs to make it's musical statement. Maybe it's a bit wordy for that hit connection, but it;'s still very good. All depends what your looking for.

As for the song "True" I never bought that record just like I didn't by any pop records from that decade really. If I met that singer & band I would wanna say two things 1- you guys are lame lol and this is a great frigging little tune you's wrote and put together here.. CATCHY!!!! And I can easily see why so many people like it so much.

"Monster" was a very pleasant surprise for me on this not hopping Saturday night

Great work Darius, very impressive are you and the guys older 40 or young 20?

Mike, thanks for the comments.
Next thing for this song is to do it live - everything was sequenced here except for the harmonica solo. The guitars were loops stretched and shifted to fit the tempo and key.

Nice feel to this song. I like the melody and effective use of words for their sound as well as meaning. Nice lilting quality also. I just suggest a little more differentiation of the chorus from the verses.

Tom

thanks for posting this lyrics. i first heard this a month ago, before the lyrics were posted. i could tell the lyrics were good from what i could make out.

now i have to say, after reading, the lyrics are absolutely brilliant! this is a very fresh take, with a beautiful, melancholy and human lyric. the fact that you tell a very human story through a monster's viewpoint is great.

reminds me a bit of Five for Fighting's and Crash Test Dummies Superman songs.

the tune is very very good. love the cyclical chorus matched with the lifting and falsetto chorus. really good.

the line "i'm your monster and i will remind you" is just so so good, as it implies the "monster" is inside us (a reflection of our own rejection, as you say)

OK, love the lyrics and the tune. but for some reason the new "plugged" mix is not hitting me the way the "unplugged" mix hit me the first time. wish i could compare them. the first time i heard this i was really knocked out.

..ant

Ant, thanks for the re-listen and the nice comments. I've seen a couple a lot of version of those films, but reading the actual book really moved me. So powerful.

Tom, thanks - this song now goes to my current band, who'll take a stab at re-arranging and working on the instrumentation.

What are your goals? plans? Are you guys gonna make a serious run at it or you do it for fun & kicks?

Was curious....

Hiya Mike,
The band is working on a full length album. I'm from the Philippines, and the band primarily writes songs using the local language - so we're still not sure if my English songs will fit.

Here's the band's sample tunes - all local language
http://www.soundclick.com/omephilippines
I'm the lead vocalist and add some synth parts here and there.

I'm primarily an English-only songwriter. Here's my work on an animated show
http://palaflicks.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=blogcategory&id=61&Itemid=107
One of the girls playing live action lead is Peter Frampton's daughter!
http://palaflicks.com/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1

Thanks for the interest!

Hi Darius

I absolutely love it, wow, what a singer, you got this Aussie girl hooked, line and sinker. Excellent! I'm a fan!

I'm gonna listen to it again!

Michele
Aussie girl down under

Michele, thanks - I blush.

Hi Darius

Nice to meet you those darn ssses !

Nice song/nice hook! - I like how your chorus melody really jumps out. Nice touch and falsetto!

I think you could halve the intro..

Below I've gotten rid of a few 's' and words...... it gives you room to breathe.... I only notated the 1st vs and ch, to give you the idea...... I think if you try singing it this way you can give more to your Already great voice and delivery.. Something to try in any event.... no Good material was lost in this edit Best wishes. jm

Monster
Am I real (pause/breath) or imagination
Living life (pause/breath) in crowded isolation
Did my biology (pause/breath) frighten you
I'm your monster (pause/breath)and I'll remind you

If you can, only see through me
INSIDE you'll,(pause/breath) find a heart beating
you will,(pause/breath) find a spirit slowly dying
Then you will know I'm just a man

Who needs a lover
Touch my fingers, you will discover
I can feel anything that you do
I'm your monster and I will remind you


If you can, only see through me
INSIDE you'll, find a heart beating
you will, find a spirit slowly dying
Then you will know I'm just a man

I'm a reflection of your own rejection
Everything you wanted so bad
why blame me, if I quit on this world gone mad
I'm a slave and not the master
Of this mad impulse I must obey
Maybe love will help me find my way

Did my psychology disturb you
I'm your monster and I'll remind you
I can feel everything you do
I'm your monster and I 'll remind you


If you can, only see through me
INSIDE you'll, find a heart beating
you will, find a spirit slowly dying
Then you will know I'm just a man

Darius B....great singing....the title threw me off...."I'm Just A Man" sounds better for the title.....just my opinion....nice sound....Bob

Joice, great! thanks for the help - will try this in the next version

Gooday!

This Aussie girl is still listening, golly gosh, wow, what a song. Yipee!


Beautiful song! What talent! Very Catchy! I'm Hooked!

Michele
Big FAN!

Tom, thanks for the suggestion - I'd like to keep "Monster" as it's more catchy and it actually describes the song.
Thanks

Don't mess with the "Monster"

..ant

Ant, hahaha- that's a good one. No offense to Tom, but I really like the "Monster" title.

Michele, really glad you enjoy it! Thanks

great song awesome job on the trasition from chorus to verse for something so difficult the singer pulls it off perfectly ,Love the hook
creative and original good luck with this .

Another vote for the title Monster. It's catchy. Real good song, I enjoyed it. (And that post from Mike Caro was great. Not that I was able to hear any of that
Jay

FHardy/ jay23, thanks for the nice comments!

Hi Darius

Can I pretty, pretty, pretty please, have a copy of this song, I would really love to add it to my favorite songs I have here. I'm hooked.

Michele
Aussie fan

Hi Michele,
I'll email it to the address in your profile if that's ok.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LISTENING!!!!

YIPEE Darius, you have just made my night.

Yes, and Thank You! Wow!

Your Aussie fan
Michele

came to listen again. love those lyrics.

one comment. grammatically it should be:

If you could only see through me
Then you would find inside a heart that's beating
And you would find a spirit slowly dying
Then you would know that I'm just a man

you'll have to decide if that sings OK

..ant

ant, thanks,will try that!

hmmm...it works!

Hi Darius

Thanks so much! I will also check out your site later. Cool.

It's funny, I'm sitting here listening to your song, and my nine year old son Anthony, asked me to play your song again, he loves it. So cute. One of his favorite songs is "Suzie Q" Creedence, he has good tastes, takes after his Mum hah.

Michele

Michele, always welcome! And thank Anthony for me too!

The show we're working on is specifically made for his age group. All the songs are here :
http://palaflicks.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=blogcategory&id=61&Itemid=107

Got a very inspiring note from a member regarding this song. I'll re-do it with guitars and a string quartet
Thanks!

Ant, Stan, thanks for putting a "Monster" in your soundclick stations!!

uploaded a new unplugged version
Thanks Ant for the great idea

i like the direction the unplugged version is going...i think this captures the emotional impact quite well

i suggest cutting the instrumental break in half..i like the second half vocals

on:

Did my psychology disturb you
I'm your monster and I will remind you

I suggest trying to find another second line, or at least change "I will remind you" so it doesn't repeat two lines later.

..ant

Hi Darius,

I just wanted to let you know that I still really like this song and now I can't decide which version I like better! To me, it doesn't really matter what the music is like, because the lyrics/melody just resonate with me. I'd still like it if it was just a guitar/vocal! It's a really fine song.

Ricki

Ant, thanks for the suggestions. I will be performing this live on Monday and I'll try to come up with the changes before then.

Ricki, thanks.

Outstanding work...one of the better I have heard on any forum or board...good luck!!

Ted, thanks, that's an awesome comment!

Darius,

I've heard a few of your songs, this,

and the challenge yourself over x-mas break.

They are all very good, all that I've heard.

Geneva

vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners
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Geneva, thanks for the listen and the nice comment!

still just a great, great song

..ant

YEP