JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Vagina Holiday - Comedy Song - Slightly Suggestive

Hi everyone!

I've been off the boards for a while now. I haven't been paying as much attention to my writing career as I should, as I have had to focus on my video production job to pay the bills. Anyhoo...

I have a new song I have painstakingly produced. It has 9 vocal tracks, 3 talk box tracks, guitar, bass, drums & keys all sung & played by me. It's comedy - a parody of some of the silly nu soul out there, but I took the production totally seriously, as I love soul.

My reason for sharing this is that I don't know where to go with it. I was about to put it up on Audiosparx, but a big warning threatening to end my account came up on my upload page. There are no curse words, and it's not really too suggestive except for the title concept. So don't worry about being offended by listening. I'd lust like a little feedback and opinions to see if this could earn me some money.

Ladies and Gentlemen I offer you: Vagina Holiday

Chad Johnson - Vagina Holiday

Chadfish,

Wow, this is great. The music and production are excellent. So is your lyric. You've really captured something with this. It's really funny. I was about to fall out my chair laughing. I can just see this dude, thinking he's all that:) It made me think of that SNL skit with the two guys. Very similar to your scrub boyfriend character. The episode I've saw was the "D*ck in a Box" song and video. Of course, I have no idea how you would get it to SNL, but you might want to post this over on OurStage in the comedy category for starters.

Just my feeble thoughts on it. Thanks for the laugh!

Thanks a lot Wendy! Nobody else seems to want to comment. I'll check out OurStage.

Chad

Chad,

The production on this is really, really good. Your voice, assuming it is you singing, is perfecr for the music. I didn't find the lyric even slightly offensive, just funny and light. The title will automatically tunr off some folks before they ever listen. That's just the way it is. Personally, I enjoyed the listening.

Alan

PS: Great vocal harmonies!

Chad, that has SNL written all over it...had me laughing out loud!

Jeff

Hi Alan

I don't think the song is offensive either, but here's what they say on auoiosparx:
"WARNING - DO NOT upload pornographic or sexually stimulating audio content. AudioSparx does not provide
a marketplace for this type of content. Failure to abide by this is grounds for immediate service termination."

I don't know if my song is "sexually stimulating".

Funny way to put it...

Chad

Hi Chad - Now this is change of pace here

Great work on crafting this, I enjoyed the style and thought it was catchy.

Audiosparx isn't the only place to put it so if they won't have it move on
There's much nastier stuff on the radio right now...

What strikes me about this song is you actually have some great lyrics and exceptional verse melody & hook. My question & approach is Why make it a novelty? I didn't think it was funny at all really.

I thought it was a good song musically and mostly lyrically that turned into a direction that losses the credibility it started out with.

I would lose the Vagina concept completely and re-write it so that it's still edgy
but with more implications etc...

I mean it has that controversy thing working for it and against it but with your abilities and this songs potential why not go for it (without the focus on humor approach)
I guess if you were a big hip hop or rap star like Lil Wayne or someone like that you could get away with it and the world would probably hand you wealth and award after award like he gets.

Again the kids would eat this up, I know it for a fact. But how cool will the labels be with it as a submission. Again if it came from the rapper/hop artist them self
they would kissing his ass over it. But what if it comes from you?

Tough game, and decision... It's good enough to me to be worth doing an alternate version with an alternate title. But that's playing it safe. Maybe I'm wrong about that make it f---ing nastier bro lol.. that's what sells today!!! Totally!

I think it's GREAT musically.. and worth thinking about & investing in all possibilities.

I agree with Mike, the song is good enough to stand on its own merits. It doesn't need the off-color attempt at humor to make it happen. My advice would be to re-write it as a straight love song.

Kevin

Post deleted by Michele Bolton

Half of the people in the world have one so it is rather silly to consider a song about one to be offensive!

No doubt Audiosparx has a computer searching for any words on their dirty word list - probably no human ever reviewed the song. You could change the title and probably get it loaded.

You might try uploading it to MySpace, Soundclick, IAC and see if it sticks.

Thanks for the comments jmo, Al, Mike, Kevin & Colin.

I agree that it could be made into a more realistic Nu Soul cut by maybe just changing the title & Chorus. Maybe that will happen, but this song started out with the title and the concept of a guy that really does nothing for his lady, but thinks he can make it all better by having sex with her - and making that sex sound like it's going to be as fun as a trip to the south of France. It was meant as comedy from the start. I am a fan of Jack Black & Tenacious D., and more recently "Flight of the Concord" (a great comedy show you can rent featuring 2 nerdy musicians from New Zeland who are very inept, yet bust out in fabulously funny musical numbers).

Being that I'm 41, I can't see myself getting on the national stage due to the fact that you have to be an embryo with a perfect body (or at least a body you can cover with the right clothes). So I figure a novelty number may trump that rule. Shure there are older people making current music, but they became famous when they were young and hot. It sound depressing, but it's realistic. So soundtrack music, comedy, & possibly ringtones seem to be good avenues to put yourself out as an artist well past their 20's. The other avenue is to write for others. That would be cool too, but part of me still wants to perform a popular track / album.

It seems like all I'm good at is making music, not tracking down the people who can do something with it. I like that there are places like this forum to bounce stuff off my musical peers, rather than friends who will say "It's great!" no matter how it sounds.

Keep up the good music people!!!

Chadfish

Hi Chad

I really enjoyed the listen musically very fine work. Your vocals are terrific.

I'm thinking the title will limit your art here and like Mike think if you want it to Go someplace, then it will require compromise. Keep the edge and use the innuendo to the fullest. nice work overall and best wishes. no offense here. jm

Thanks Joice! I take no offense at all. I get what you're saying. I have other songs for serious consumption. For now I think I'll keep this a comedy piece. Not that I'm against changing it, but it's quite the little session to sing 9 vocal parts! Thanls a lot for the input though.

Chad

PS I keep checking "Add this thread to my Watched Topics." on different posts, but I am not getting the emails telling me about activity on any threads I'm in. Does anyone have a fix for that?

Look at your watched topics and you will see an EDIT menu where you can highlight the ones you want emails on. Alternatively you can set your preferences to email you all your watched topics.

Chad: I guess I am from the old school cause it took me a while to listen. I guess the title kinda threw me off. Once I got past all that, I could appreciate the work you did. Soundwise it is excellent and it has a soulful feel to it. It really plays upon a guy's fantasies which is cool.

Now I do want to say or maybe suggest why not try the lyrics from the womans point of view, she being the owner of the vagina, shouldn't she be inviting the guy on the holiday. Or did I miss something here. Be interested in your response.

Again great music, lyrics okay, but could be punched up a lot higher creatively speaking and the Altoid and Stink lyric---Well--Ah--its funny.

Paul

Hi Paul!

I guess the point of view I'm coming from is that of a guy that really has nothing to offer except that he will have sex with his lady once in a while. So he's breezing past all the neglect, laziness and possibly violence "just forget about the time I had to put my hands on you" and offering to take her vagina on a little holiday from him! It actually speaks to how many women overlook the glaring problems in their relationships because they have hope their man might change. That hope increases when their man talks sweet. But often the guy never delivers. It's really kinda sad...

I see how the title could put people off because it seems like the song may be really vulgar, but it's not. Maybe just a name change to "Holiday" to soften the blow?

Chad

LMAO- great production...yeah Jack Black could pull this off in a movie given the right script...it's such a good little pocket song though i would keep all the beat and music tracks and do that mainstream version too...good to see you back on here a bit, good luck with it... how far are you from Colorado Springs? i have some friends who run a great little industry event coming there in a few weeks...see ya moker

Hey Moker

I'm in Northern Cali, so I'll miss that one. But yes, the consensus seems to be that I could do something with this if I cleaned up the subject matter. I just figured other people can do the straight version better than me, so I'd go for the funny. I may just have to make an alternate version. That mean's a lot of singing....

Take care man!

Chad

well..title got me ! I am thinking this music/melody and alot of the lyric could easily make it on radio..its that R&B style that is popular now...when i hear the word "vagina" in it though it threw my whole mood off of the sexy song and made me giggle and go HUH ? i think something like " rub that boody down " or some of the talk that goes on in the rap songs : )

Yes if you're not paying close attention it sounds like a normal song until the end of the chorus.

By the way your top link in your signature is dead...

Thanks Heather!

Chad

Hello Chad,

Nice to meet ya.
Very smoothly done.
And did I say, very creative !

Good job all around.
Thanks for sharing this song with us.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Chad,

Since you're a video producer, how about putting a video of this on YouTube? I think it could get a lot of traffic if you got one of your friends to be the dude. I was thinking something along the lines of the Jihad roomates video.

Just another thought from my rather feeble brain.

I guess I'm in the minority in that I liked the comedy version. I never dated anyone quite this bad, but almost as bad. That's probably why I found it so funny. I have a couple of friends I know would love it.

I'm with Heather on thsi one ....

Emily

Hi Wendy

Yes I originally thought this should be a youtube video, and still do. I think it could go viral. Is the video you're thinking of this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Uxnz27Mja0

Like the roommate from hell sort of thing? I imagine a woman coming home to her scrub type man, and being pissed but then he starts to tell her about the holiday he's going to take her on - and you get the fantasy footage where everything's great, then at the end you come out of it and she's still pissed.

That's on the long term plan. We're thinking alike here!

Chad

Hi Chad
Nice to meet you...For me, I also think it's a rewrite without the pussy innuendo...the MUSIC doesn't match the words for me. Either soften and keep the music like it is, OR make it EDGIER and make the music EDGY...the middle of the road makes it ...well... not groudbreaking....

Just keeping it real buddy

Thanks for the suggestion Herbie.

I think the irony is that the music doesn't match the words. To me the words are pretty soft hitting, and not really graphic. I listened to other songs in the suggestive comedy realm and they are many times just vulgar lyrics on top of terrible production. I wanted the smooth production to lull you in, then surprise you with the silliness of a "vagina holiday". Not to say that I wouldn't try a rewrite eventually. I'm already getting some radio play here in Humboldt. But I think the title will turn off a certain demographic. Then again this isn't for the demo that doesn't get it.

Thanks man!

Chad

thanks Chad...i fixed my site link !! it had expired

Thanks Calvin!

this does remind me of some of the adam sandler video stuff on SNL. i think it's so well produced, it's a bit surprising to hear "vagina holday" all of a sudden, as there's no lead in as there is with the video - once you see adam sandler you know it's a joke. that natalie portman video was hilarious

i think there's a market for this type of stuff. check out the song My Box In A Box, from barelypolitical.com. according to youtube, viewed over 5 million times and featured on MSNBC
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xElIik0Ys0

if you wanna go funny, i suggest putting some humor in the first verse.

if you wanted to go the straight route, you could simply say "private holiday" and rework some of the other lyrics.

..ant

Well I finally got to hear this...I've been very time-challenged with listening lately. The title doesn't bother me at all since I absolutely adore vaginas. It reminded me of something Zappa would do, and man the production is just stellar. I'm trying hard to get better, and when I hear something like this, I see how much farther I have to go.

But it's true you could take it more places if you called it Freaky instead of Vagina.

...hey, I just noticed this machine doesn't seem to think "vaginas" is a word. I guess there must be only one.

Thanks for the laugh and the beautiful listen!

-Mark

Hi Chad,

Looks like I'm a little late to this one, but wow, what a party you've got going on here!

Impeccable production, lyrics are awesome, and where do you find the time to do it all?

As to the whole VAGINA business ( I guess it could be considered that.... )...I'm on the fence (ouch!). The title did put me off a bit...but once I got over myself and listened, I thought it played very easily into the song.

I do like the Adam Sandler idea....then when he was done, he could throw his "Members Only" jacket over his shoulder, and stroll away, WHISTLING the old dirty ditty "Nothing could be FINER, than to be in a VAGINA in the MOOOOOOOOOORNING, etc."

Yeah, this one could take you places Chad. Congrats and have fun!

Ciao for now,
Beth

Thanks for the input everyone!