JPF Home Page Forums Creative Arts Forums Acting, Theater, Film and TV Forum "Gimmie-A-Clue" Review: "THE LOVE GURU"/ M.Myers/J.Alba

I had an eye-infection, both sides, BUT La Femme had scored a Pair of Tickets to the Tampa Preview of "THE LOVE GURU", with Mike Myers & Jessica Alba in it, and It's BEEN A-while since we got any of these tickets...

Better my eyes had swollen-shut & I'd stayed at home recuperatin'!
(It's truly sad when tbe Movie's FUNNIEST Line gets delivered via an out-take of "Mini-Me" during the Credit Roll at the end...)

Only rates a "5 1/2-Outta-10" in My Book... Why?

THINGS I LIKED:
1) MUSIC. Some GREAT Sitar-Satire! (Imagine Steve Miller's "Ganster of Love" on Sitar?) Mike Myers is almost-Convincing as a Sitar Playin' Guru named Pitka, & the Double-Necked-Sitar later-on IS a great Sight-Gag...
2) JESICA ALBA SWEARS (Mildly.) (Once.) It's evil fun to see this Glamour-Princess get IN-Character & swear back at an enraged Hockey Crowd, as she well-plays a Poor Little Rich Gal who inherited Daddy's Hockey Team...& hires The Love Guru to get the team's leading-scorer out of a Love Mess..so The Maple Leafs can go on to win The Stanley Cup.
3) SHORT RUNNING-TIME. Only 80+ Minutes, it's at-least Humane in that respect.
4) "Mini-Me" RETURNS...as Coach Cherkov. Vern Troyer is FUNNY as the Team's Coach & an Anti-Guru Foil. (WISH he'd had an even BIGGER Role...No Pun Intended.)

THINGS I DISLIKED:
1) MIKE MYERS' GURU Character: As often-reported in Real Life, This Guru's a wee-bit Shallow...Offering Karma at a Big Price to the struggling Hockey Team, so he can get on The Oprah Show..& become TV's Number One Guru.
2) MIKE MYERS' PLOTLINE: (He co-wrote with Martin Gordy...maybe it's ALL Martin's Fault?)...A Guru to Save a Hockey Team? Maybe one DID save a Sports Team WAY Back When...but that was then. NOW it's not as good a vehicle as say, the James Bond Flicks were when Mike first began WELL-Mining-the-Past. (His Flicks have brought in over $3 BILLION Big Ones, according to his Interview on the Letterman Show the other evening. HOPE he's saved some up, JMO but this one's not gonna do as well.
3) JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE IS IN IT. I truly admire Justin's Musical Talent & Ability...but in Movies, he fails to deliver Acting.
4) TWO ELEPHANTS SCREWIN'-AWAY in front of a Hockey Crowd. (Who Writes This Stuff?) Sorry Mike..but THAT and the Testicle Soup Scene set New Lows on the Humor Scale..JMO.

About 1/3 of the Preview Audience DID Burst Into Applause st The End...& I couldn't believe my Ears...let alone my eyes.

SO..IF you're a Diehard Mike Myers Fan, I dare ya to Go See It & Amend My Review. WILL Grant Ya Guru-Mike's hawking (Hilariously-Titled) Self-Help Books at every turn WAS a Humor Turn-On. AND a Multitude of strategically-placed Big-Name Guest Cameos, including Mariska Hargitay, (whose Name's been Mystically Transformed into a Cosmic "Greeting" Term) helps this strugglin' Flick along, and, like I said, it comes to a quick-enough Conclusion.

That's probably one of The Guru's WISEST Moves....(Cue the Sitar GLISSANDO...)

JMO...Keep-or-Sweep-it!

Big Hugs,
Stan

Stan-O'...

Read a coupla other reviews...Geez, even reading the reviews feels like I've wasted 5 minutes outta my life I'll never get back. Thanks for the early warning.

Midnite

Thanks, Stan. Mike Myers is a good one-trick pony, but like Ronald Reagan said of the redwoods, "You seen one, you seen 'em all." He could use to learn some new tricks. The only movies of his I've really wanted to see again were the "Shrek" ones (and those may have been so entertaining because of the supporting cast, not him).

I, too, will save my money. thanks.

Joe

HIDee Brother Bob!

Sorry 'bout all the Typos..which I just fixed. VA Doc today said I had "The Worst case of Conjunctivitis she'd ever Seen"....so guess I'm finally "Scored" at Bein' The Ultimate at SOMETHING..heh!

Today was "Day Four"...& it takes 7-10 days for the Virus to get beaten by one's Immune System. Meanwhile, I have a hard time readin', dealing with Bright Lights,& convincing Folks that "Pink Eye", tho contagious, is caused by The Common COLD Virus, in most cases...so it's NOT "The Kiss of Death" if ya somehow come down with it.

The nice Cream and Eyedrops the LadyDoc gave me actually make The Cure take LONGER..but far-less painful, itchy, and Miserable!

So..I may have another 10 MORE days of waking up with Eyes Glued-Shut...&..look like the Devil Himself, sans horns & tail...but it DOES take me back to my childhood..when I only had it in One Eye....& only lasted a day-or-two, & I wasn't exactly an Eye-Opening Case..heh-heh!

WISH this Flick was a Great Hoot...Instead, it just makes me wanna run out & rent a Peter Sellers Video...like that very First "PINK PANTHER" Flick...now there was a "10!"

Waal...back to Recovery!

Thanks for Your Kind Visit, Amigo! Continued Good Luck on the Scripts You're Writing!

Big Guuy-Hug,
Stan

HiDee Bro Joe!

I allus HATE to feed out a Bad Review,'cuz I KNOW how hard all the Cast & Crew (& Financial Wizards) have worked to make each & every One of 'em Pay Off.

This one undoubtedly had a LOT of Denario behind it. Great Locales, FUN Music, Great Dance Number at the end, even. Spiffy Costuming, Sight Gags all over the place (Tho Adam Sandler's "ZOHAN" knew HOW to make these "Score" without Major Eyebrow-Rolls/Mike didn't-always.) Alas. Vern Troyer IS Hilarious...maybe Miks should give The Little Guy a BIG Movie, all Vern's-Own. I'll bet he'd carry the Pic!~

Vern's ad-lib the last couplea seconds was an absolute DANDY...so maybe Rent This some Dull Night with Nothin'-to-Do. (Assumin' ya got a LOTTA Cold Ones & Popcorn-handy, of course!)

I saw "Shrek 2" & liked it. But it's nearly necessary to hog-tie La Femme & carry her IN to an Animated Flick..so I've missed MANY a Cartoon-y Feature I wanted to see over the years. (I'll prolly slip some good Vodka in her Iced Tea when Disney-Pixar's "Wall-e" arrives...she hates GADJETS/I can never get enough of 'em!) ;-)>

Many THanks for Your Kind Visit...& Off to get a little Shut-Eye..heh!

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

I'll get started on the screenplay right away!

Midnite

[quote="TampaStan" Good]HIDee Brother Bob!

So..I may have another 10 MORE days of waking up with Eyes Glued-Shut...&..look like the Devil Himself, sans horns & tail...but it DOES take me back to my childhood..when I only had it in One Eye....& only lasted a day-or-two, & I wasn't exactly an Eye-Opening Case..heh-heh!

Hey BroBobber..

You wouldn't BELIEVE all the Hysteria about "Pink Eye"...{It's SOoo Contageous..etc/etc.!} Turns out it's caused by the Cold Virus, in most cases.

But ya COULD do a neat script about some Small Town goin' NUTS on someone gettin' a Virus..& the Gossip taking over.

Back to Real Life...Thsnkee!

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

So it did suck more than Zohan... not surprised.. it really looked awful in the previews... I think he's lost it.

Brian

Hi Bro Bri!

Yeah, it was Such A Waste of a Good-Lookin' Babe...

Hopefully Mike'll come up with Something More-Hillarious next pic.

Probably WON'T have As Big A Budget...but that's Show Biz.

Best Wishes, Amigo!
Big Guy-Hug,
Stan