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Joined: Jul 2005
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Four Sixty-Nine © Ben Burton JUNE 11, 2008
I pumped that diesel in 'til she was full Then cleaned my wallet out 'til it was dry I got her buttoned up and realized It almost wouldn't pay to make the ride
It's four sixty-nine and that price just keeps on risin' I'm backing off the hammer tryin' to save It's four sixty-nine, not sure when I'll be arrivin' Don't pay to be a cowboy now-a-days
In six years I drove ev'ry state but one That's cause my big rig ain't learned how to swim Since prices went and made my pickin's slim I fill my tank with Sprite and M&M's
It's four sixty-nine and that price just keeps on risin' I'm backing off the hammer tryin' to save It's four sixty-nine, not sure when I'll be arrivin' Don't pay to be a cowboy now-a-days
If someone don't produce a quick solution Like looking here at home to find some oil Then greenies needn't worry 'bout pollution Except from tons of food about to spoil
It's four sixty-nine and that price just keeps on risin' I'm backing off the hammer tryin' to save It's four sixty-nine, not sure when I'll be arrivin' Don't pay to be a cowboy now-a-days
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Joined: May 2006
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Ben, i liked everything but the cowboy line...it sounds cool, but don't pay to be a trucker would have fit the lyric better...good write...mj
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Well, didn't expect to get a word of response 'fore I headed to da sto'. That "cowboy" (in truckers lingo) means a reckless, or, in this case, speeder, which cuts way down on the MPG, and therefore, profit. Thanks, Moke. I hear a tune for this...it's emanating from a guitar...somewhere south of here!  Ben
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Hi Ben, I liked it very much, has a good rhythm to it. One nit, in the second verse your shyme scheme is different form the first and third. But that was all I could find. Good visuals, I like the "filling my tank with sprite and M&M's" line. Very much what it's been like lately!
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Joined: Jul 2005
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Hi Caroline,
I'm sorry. I only think to label stuff about every seventh time. That rhyme scheme is different, but that was meant as a bridge.
Thank you. Glad you liked it.
Ben
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Ooh, I see. I guess I thought it was a verse, not a bridge b/c of the number of lines. In that case. Great lyric!!!!
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In that case. Great lyric!!!!  Thanks, Caroline (and for the smile!)
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Joined: Dec 2000
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Hey there, Big Guy. Very timely, this one. I've heard it said that some songs that deal with current events don't have a long shelf life, that they become dated quickly. Sad to say, I think this one will have profound relevance for a long time. Sure wish the heck I was wrong.
As to the writing, it's right up there with your usual flair for turning a clever phrase. I really like it, especially the line about your rig not learning to swim.
I sort of agree with Moker about the cowboy line. At first, I thought the song might be about a modern day rodeo rider or something, going from show to show, but as I read further, it seemed that TRUCKER might make more sense. Ah, but that's just a minor thingy.
This is really good, my friend.
Greg
Last edited by Greg C. Brown; 06/22/08 09:09 PM.
If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 111
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Hi Everyone, When I listened to Ben's lyrics I liked them very much. I wish the world could hear them. It might make a difference in the gas prices. I've put a melody to the lyrics for him and he's asked for your honest opinion on whether you think the melody is a good match for the lyrics. Bear in mind it's a rough demo. The sites are: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=635567 http://www.myspace.com/myrtlemb Thanks, Myrtle
Myrtle Blankenship
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 12,212 Likes: 52
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Yeah that swim line's a beaut Ben....  Timely..
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Well, since Myrtle bumped this from oblivion I can take a moment and say thanks! Greg, Yeah, bud...ME hopes you be wrong, too!!! As to the "cowboy" line, guess it's what you're used to. The whole verse in leading up to it has to do with him slowing down...not knowing when he'll arrive anymore, since he's been accustomed to letting it all hang out. A "cowboy" in trucker language is a reckless driver, which generally is associated with speed (not driving on the wrong side of the road. ;)) Thanks, Greg. Hey John. I appreciate it. May get this thing demoed in case the price comes WAAAYYY DOWN!(Yeah, call me an optimist. 
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Joined: Jul 2004
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Benj, Fill the tank with sprite and m&m's ; Brilliant!!! Pete
Here we are wracking our brains today to write lyrics that rhyme and if we succeed, they'll end up in time as tommorrow's cliche's... Pete
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Joined: Jul 2010
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HiDee Benster!
THOUGHT I'd already commented on this Fine Baby here, but My Memory's not the sharpest, is it now?
Waal, better a Late "KUDOS" than sheer Ignorance, I allus say!
Gas Prices ARE comin' down a bit..sorty Mute Testimony that IF we stop Driving as-often/AS-HARD, The Big Oilers HAVE to adjust to "Demand" in the S&D factoring. &..if we simply do 20% Less Driving, we simply WON'T have to send all those Dollars Overseas to Folks who basically Hate Us.
Saw some Regular goin' for $3.85 yesterday...had been $3.95 all over town..so if we keep at it, maybe it'll be down to $3.50 before Wintertime drives it all up a bit again.
On the Plus Side, our truckers'll be haulin' more US-Made Steel down the pike...since it now costs WAY more to ship steel here from China.
I heard the 0ther Day (From a Guy In-The-Know) that most ALL the Oil pumped outta Alaska goes to JAPAN..rather than Down Here. Somebody oughta look INTO that fact, eh?
Congrats on a Fine Song, Amigo!
Good Luck with it, Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,174
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Great lyric Ben. Just one nit on the first line - either go with the correct "until she was full" or "'ntil she was full" if you want the country flavor. I got the song by the second verse. I thought you might have been using a metaphor after the first verse - and that's not a bad thing if you want to be edgy.
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