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Eulogy To Death
(c) 2007 Alan D. David, BMI
All Rights Reserved

As many of you know, I wrote this after my son was killed in a vehicle accident. I have updated it with significant changes. Because my mother-in-law passed away this past Thursday, I thought it might be appropriate to repost it with the many changes.

Because of its personal nature, I'm pretty much happy with it as is. If you hear a glaring faux pas that I have overlooked, I'm willing to listen. Beyond, that though, I am pretty much satisfied with it. Mostly I am putting it up to share it for what it us.

And thanks to everyone for your very kind words about my mother-in-laws passing and for my wife in the hospital. Anyway, here's the song. And yes, it does have some of the qualities of a funeral march...a dirje. But, it also has soft edges to temper that.

Thanks for listening.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=276329


Alan

My goosebumps have goosebumps. I am so sorry for you and your losses. Makes this a riviting piece of music for sure.
Thank you for sharing,
Tom

I was a little afraid of what I was going to hear. But Al, you turned your grief into beauty. It isn't a heart-shattering listen at all...it seems to speak to ALL the emotions you feel when you lose a loved one...memories of good times seem just as prominent here as the powerful sadness.

I'd like to think your son can listen to this anytime. It would be a comfort and a wonderful connection to Dad.

Al...

forgive me if I sound uncouth, but why in the H E Double Hockey Sticks are you not already a successful songwriter, doing something on a professional, world wide level with your music? This song was stunning...Simply mesmerizing and moving. I'm sorry for the pain in which it was borne from, but thank you for being a true artisian and making something beautiful IN SPITE of that pain.

Wow!
T

Tom,

Thanks dfor taking a couple of minutes...well actually four minutes and 6 seconds...of your time to listen. I am not sure how to reply to "goosebumps on my goosebumps" and "riveting". I hope that a simple but very heartfelt "Thank You!" will be adequate. Such kind comments from a peer is indeed inspiring and such a pleasure. All the best to you, Tom.

Al

Mark,

You are so very kind with your words. Thank you so much. And, I can see why a person would be unsure about what to expect after such an intro. Some of the folks that have been around here a while (dang, I've been at JPF for over 7 years!), are familiar with this song in it's original form. It has changed quite a bit since then. I poasted this in its original form in March of last year, if I remember correctly.

I am delighted that you caught the full range of emotion that I was trying to put into this. It's not all sad. In a nutshell, my son always kidded that he was going to outlive death. He said that someday he would have to write a eulogy to death because he was going to beat it. Of course, we never thought he was serious about living forever. He died in 1985 when he was 20 years old...much too young. So, the first part expresses the initila shock and grief of learning about his death. The chorus is the happt part. He always said that if he was wrong about not living forever, that his survivors should have a good time knowing that he enjoyed every moment that he had. he said to cry and get out of your system, then party your a$$ off! So, the chorus expresses that part. And the last part is me coming to terms with him being gone...melancholoy, somewhat sad, but but appreciating the fact the he did indeed enjoy the heck out of every moment of his life. He tyruly was a gemtle giant, as they say. he was 6'2" and 290 pounds and gentle as a lamb. He was quite a guy.

I believe that he can listen. And if so, he'll have a big ole smile on his face! Thanks Mark.

Al

Terrill,

First let me say that even with the sun glasses, you really look young for your age! But ya do look kinda cute.

Uncouth? Not hardly! I seriously doubt that I will ever have any appreciable success as a songwriter/composer. I'm too freaking old! I'll be 62 on my next birthday. Yeah...Social Security check every month! Also, I am too eclectic. I write in almost every imaginable genre except Grunge, Industrial, Gansta Rap and few of those quaint genres that I am not sure how to spell or pronounce.

However, I have had a VERY successful career as a guitar player. I have made more money playing the guitar than I have everything else in my life...combined. And, by quite a margin. Plus I have had the privelge to play behind and with a good number of "stars". If you want to use income and peer acceptance as definitions of success...I guess I have been succesful. And, I enjoyed the heck out of it! For over 30 years I plasyed 20 - 30 gigs a month at a pretty good rate of pay. No complaints! I lived in Germnay for 12 years and had a very good reputation amongst the circle of musicians over there. That might be the best definition of success. So, my star shined pretty bright for quite a while. Now, I'm just an old fart having a lot of fun with it. If I make a buck or two along the way, so much the better!

"Mezmerizing" and "stunning" are pretty powerful words. If you think they are appropriate for this work...Thank You Very Much!

Emotional pain is a part of life. Some folks let it ruin their lives. I try to not let that happen. I miss him dearly. It's been over 20 years and I still cry about it sometimes. But, I am also very pragmatic. Just because he is dead...that does not mean that I have to die, too. I am enjoying my life the best of my ability. Even with all the crap that is going on in my life, I still have more fun than almost anyone I know.

The agony of burying one of your own children is the toughest thing a person will ever do in their life. I managed to do it and, dammit, I refuse to let it beat me up. It has made me strong in a lot of other ways that I would never have anticipated. My wife's health and life are both very fragile. I am often not sure that she is going to be alive the next day. Dealing with that is the type of strength I am talking about.

Sorry for the long rant, Terrill. But, it sure felt good to say all that! Sometimes I have to tell myself that I am doing a pretty good job. I just did it a little more publicly than usual this time.

I am delighted that you enjoyed the song enough to tell me so. Thanks so much for your kind words and support. They are appreciated. All the best to you.

Al

Don't you dare! I hung on every word, realizing I was being given a priviledged view into your world. Thanks man. Seriously, that meant alot. That was cool.

Terrill

And you're one to be talking about looking young for your age! Who's that cutie in the pic holding the guitar?

Hi Alan,

A very stunning performance.
Lots of feeling/mood.

Glad to know someone like you !

Calvin

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Nothing you overlooked in this song. It is powerful yet somehow relaxed. Nice combination of instruments. I like the strings in relation to the piano - they both have clarity. Sometimes strings can sound mushy - but not here. Nice build up in music.

Tom

Calvin,

Stunning? that's a pretty awesome word! Thanks. And you're not to shabby of a friend, either!

Alan

Tom,

Thank you very much. Glad you like ther way I put this one together. I appreciate you letting me know.

Al

Hey Al,
The song is very pretty, well arranged. You done a great job on this. Sorry to hear of all the difficulties you have been experiencing. I have to say I admire the strength you are showing. Makes me think of my mother who weathered some very difficult times through her life but handled things with such grace and kindness. At any rate my thoughts are with you and your family. Take Care! Steve

Steve,

I appreciate you taking the time to listen and comment. And equally delighted that you like it.

Sometimes life just really piles up on you. You just have to hold on for the bumpy ride and hope that it smoothes out pretty soon. And thank you for your kind thoughts. They are much appreciated. I'll bet your mother is a great lady!

Al

Hi Alan:

Is a beautiful piece. I get a different vibe from the last time you posted it - a little more somber this time around. But more emotion now, too.

Sorry for the troubles you've had of late. For what it's worth, you're an inspiration!

Scott

Al, i dig this piece...it makes you feel something, it almost turns your thoughts inward and then back out...i always write something in response to someone in my circle passing on to the other side...i guess it helps me deal with it...i have one on soundclick called Ballad of Joe, it's just a worktape, but a young friend of mine started feeling funny and never made it home that day, then Make the Most of Your Time is a power rock song written in response to a friends 21 year old son going in a way similarly to yours, such a tragedy and i can only imagine the heartache...i have another piece there called Oceanus that i hope to do a better version of someday,it is more of a soundtrack piece but i wrote it on keys, it is much harder fo me on keys than it appears to be for you, i really have to kinda stuggle to get even a decent part down...ha...practice, i need alot of that i know...Al, i'm feelin' it for ya buddy, i can't tell you how much i hope things improve fo you guys, it's been a tough year...as life goes on, we realize we have those tough times and somehow we deal with them and go forward, but i know it ain't easy...keep writin' songs my friend, that's your pressure cooker's steam valve...moker

Very melodic with emotion.Very well done.Your really a great composer.Very hard thing to go thru and im sure the pain is deep.

Beautiful song. Having two sons myself, I can't even imagine loosing them. It's good that your music allows you to release some of that emotion, and hopefully, let go of some of the pain that comes with it.

Tom W.

Al,

This is very pretty. I liked that note at the very end, kind of holding for a few beats and wavering a little. I'm sorry about your son. My sister died at 18, three days before my sixteenth birthday. She got killed in the stereotypical teen drunk driving accident. My mom and I actually happened upon the accident scene. It was pretty awful. I pretty much grew-up that night and never got to be a kid again. I always get really depressed on my birthday because of the anniversary.

I saw the post about Helen. You guys will be in my prayers tonight.

Scott,

Thanks for coming back to this one after a year and a half! And you are right...it does have a different aura about it that the first version. With very few exceptions, most people did not like the stark difference between the verses and the chorus. The comment most often was something to the gist of "The chorus was much to happy for the rest of the song. Once I heard the chorus, I couldn't recapture the sadness as it went back to the last verse." So, I softened the chorus substantially. The other common comment was that the drums were too "military mrach sounding" and distracted from the meolsy. So, I backed off on the intensity of the percussions, both in tone and rythmic composition. So, that does give it a much more somber feel as you listen. Glad you liked this newer version also. Thanks for the kind words, Scott. But, I am not sure what kind of inspiration I am. I think that just about everyone else here would be doing more or less the same thing in a simialr situation. None-the-less, thank you.

Alan

Moker,

Glad this one could trigger a response from your emotions. It was emotion that created it. And, your description is exactly what i was trying to convey...the initial sadness and anger of his death in the first verse, the celebration of how much he enjoyed his short life in the chorus, followed by acceptance and coming to terms with it in the last verse.

Sorry to hear about all of your losses. I will check out your songs next week. I do find writing cathartic to the extent that it distracts from the issues. Thanks for the kind words.

Alan

Michael,

Thank you for taking the time to listen and for your encouraging comments. I am honored that you consider me a "great composer". You are one of the most talented guys around these parts. So, that is particularly rewarding to hear from you.

And yes, there is a lot of pain with the loss. But, there was also a good, although short, life to celebrate. Finding a healthy balance between the two is the hard part.

Thanks again for your kindness and your encpouragement.

Alan

Tom,

Thanks for dropping in on this. I appreciate your time and your comments. Burying one of your children is tough. It tests your mettle more than anything else in your life ever will. If you can survive the emotional trauma of doing that, you can survive anything. I think that is where I get my strength for dealing with all the issues surrounding my wife's very fragile health.

Thanks again for stopping in and for the very kind words.

Alan

I'll be back to answer eveyone else later today. Thanks until then!

Alan

Al,

Another stunning peace (purposeful misspelling) - I can feel the phoenix rising up from it's own ashes. I strongly admire you for you superb strength in the face of all the adversity you have experienced; I would collapse under the weight of it all I am sure. You are a true alchemist - turning lead into gold!

Clint

This is a very beautiful piece, Al...

So sorry for all the pain
and suffering both you and Helen have gone through....
How is she feeling this evening?..When will she get home...?

best...
Kaley

Piano Melodies and Demos
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=8404&content=music

Children's Songs
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=6469&content=music

Wyman and Kaley's Andy & Friends CD
http://cdbaby.com/cd/kwwg

Wendy,

thanks for dropping in for a listen. Glad you liked it. I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. It's a real shame when we lose them so young. My son was killed when a ldy broadsided him. he was on a motorcycle. The lady had stolen the car, was high on drugs, had no driver's license and there was a warrant out for her arrest fro parole vialotion. My son died in the ER about 2 hours after the accident. The handlebar had punctured his abdomen and ruptured his spleen.

That note at the end is one my favorites! I had the vibrato slowly fade in such that it become stronger every beat.

Thanks for the prayers.

Al

Clint,

How very kind of you to give such a warm review. Thank you! I'm not sure if it is stunning; but it came out the way I wanted it to. And since it was written for personal reasons rather than with a commercial intent, that is good enough for me. Glad you liked it, too.

As far as remaining strong...I think that each and every one of us do not realize what our strengths are until they are put to test. I feel that just about everybody would be stronger in a similar situation than they think they would be. You simply do not think about the burden and all of that. You just do it because you have to.

Thank you for your kindness on both parts. I appreciate it.

Al

Hi Kaley!

Thanks for the listen. Glad you like it a bit. Thanks!

Helen was diagnosed with a strep infection of the wound from her decube. She is getting a pretty strong dose of antibiotics and is stable. Although it is not certain, unless something unexpected happens, she might be home by week's end...possibly Friday. I hope!

thanks again. As always, I appreciate your warmth and friendship. All the best to you, Ron & the family.

Al