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Unwrap Me
by Gary E. Andrews - 12/10/25 06:42 PM
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Cabo
by bennash - 12/10/25 06:36 PM
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4,657
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4,657 |
Looks good, John, The only thing I would change is to make your contact information very visible and obvious. Most press releases have a contact phone number at the bottom... For instance, I would include a phone number in the list of web site links...just a thought!  Emily
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,102
Top 25 Poster
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OP
Top 25 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,102 |
It's all there Emily...They just put it further down, in the section after the main body. ????
Thanks for that though!!! Will also go on other PR sites and get on them as well, as and see how they format things. I had to stick to their exact format when filling out the press release. Only certain things in certain areas,,,then it popped out as shown.
John
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082 Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2005
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Hey John:
Looks great. I might consider editing the 3rd bullet of additional facts. It's not clear what Mike's suggestion was - looks like maybe you edited the story after writing the bullet?
Maybe change the sentence starting with "Considering all...." ?
Thanks again for all of your efforts!
Scott
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,102
Top 25 Poster
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OP
Top 25 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,102 |
Yes,,,a few words are missing. Edit caused, for sure. Good catch!
I can change the file I have in my documents to send out to others, but I can't change anything on that page.
And I proof read it! Guess I filled in the blanks, knowing the story!
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,102
Top 25 Poster
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OP
Top 25 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
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Hey,,,by the way,,,,,excellent job on the new CD cover! Everything reads great!
One CD is on it's way to ESPN as they requested.
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,589 Likes: 1
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,589 Likes: 1 |
This sentence: The song, "Opening Day", had gained recommendations from Greg Luzinski (former great for The Phillies, and member of the 1980 World Champion team, and “Baseball Almanac”. needs the second half of those parentheses.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,102
Top 25 Poster
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OP
Top 25 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,102 |
SHARP EYE, Mark!
And thank you for taking the time to find that!
I can't correct that specific page, but I am putting others up and will make that correction now.
Thanks!
John
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 5,725
Top 50 Poster
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Top 50 Poster
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 5,725 |
How's this for the headline?
Philadelphia Phillies "Opening Day" A Sonic Hit for the fans.
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,102
Top 25 Poster
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OP
Top 25 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,102 |
Clever Louis! Does spark a curious note, which is needed in the heading. Just "may" need more of the "story" of the against all odds type thing, (the three hopefuls). ??? But, that is very good. A Sonic Hit! You a songwriter by any chance?! Thanks. Will consider it. John
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