JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum The Rock Idol Song Forum Contest

Hi Gang

I had to use the Idol word, this way you would read this for sure lol...

I'm always trying out new things on the boards, always have.
What I have this time is pretty simple. It is a fun rock pop song melody & lyric contest
.
The goals here are to finish this song and make it as cool as possible.
Share a great exercise here for writing and in this genre. make a final product that will be pitched and also impress your kids if you have any
Mom, Dad this is your song?

And of course mainly for fun, but just because I make light of it don't think for a second that it's not serious. No one breathing takes there music more seriously than I do! You can also send me a PM on it if your more comfortable doing it that way.

Here Are The Instructions,Rules And Rewards

1- I'll have part of the song up on Soundclick that is downloadable, It is not finished! You are welcome to download it and write a melody or lyric or both to it.

2- Record a vocal with your melody on it if you have the means to. Even if you don't have definite words use any words, Hum whistle whatever you can do.
If you only have lyrics that's fine also.

3- Post your recording with melody back up on this thread, If you have words post them here as well. Post lyrics only here to.

4- The music is catchy already and you can hear the chorus section repeating over and over till the very end section. You can come up with parts for the short end as well, anything you hear. Once we have the chorus we will come back for the verses.
And I'll give you the whole track

5- Just like in the business you must deal with deadlines, that means writing under pressure so lets say March 19th is the last night for submissions.

6-The lyrics could come from one person and melodies from another,it can be up to a three way collab if need be.

7- Very Important Anyone can submit but there is no guarentee that we will find the perfect match. I can promise that I can determine who's submission matched up the best with the music. But can't promise that we will find a keeper.
But I am hoping there is a definte keeper here.

8- It's not really a Reward however if chosen as a keeper the winner will have rights to the song. And it will be a cool song.

*It will demoed to the fullest with no cost to you whatsever. The demo will be Broadcast Quality. Cost for a demo such as this would range from 700-1200 dollars easy. You can hear how cool the live instruments are sounding already.

*It will be eventually shopped for film and TV and anywhere else you or I or we care to submit it. You can promote the song anywhere you like.

The Song picks up from the pre-chorus and goes into the chorus till the end section...... it can be downloaded here... HAVE FUN!

Untiled Rock Song - 1:00 music tracks © 2005
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6331796

Untitled Rock Song - 3:00 music tracks longer version ©2005
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6339300

Untitled Rock Song - 1:43 with vocal, my original verse & pre-chorus ideas.
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6363461

Sounds like a cool idea, Mike. The part up at soundclick is just the pre-chorus and chorus section -- is that right? I'll download it and see what I can come up with. Hopefully you'll get a lot of takers.

Kevin

Hi Kevin

Yes it is the end of the verse/prechorus going into the chorus then to end section.

Thanks bro!

Well, how can I say No when Sub wants to come out and play? I'll give it a whirl. Here's a crappy recording of my offering. Hey, it's kinda fun to try to write just a snippet without having to worry about the whole song! I just tried to figure out some words that might fit, then I went kind of crazy adding vocal tracks. My dog is a little freaked out. This is my first time playing with Cubase, so sorry about the rotten EQ and mix.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=759055&songID=6333196


Prechorus
You try so hard to hide what always shows
But I already know that you don't really want to go

Chorus
So why don't you stay?
(If only for the night)
Why don't you stay?
(It's gonna be all right)

Post deleted by Derek Hines

Sub...I still don't have a way to get vocals or music up yet...dang it...so I will put up some lyrics...they seem to fit fairly close...doesn't have a pre chorus so we would need to add that...I was singing the chorus words to it pretty close to the music...both I think have a rock edge...thanks...Ted

A higher place

(verse)
She lived on a twisted lane up in the Hills
In a two story brick no fancy frills
She was an east coast girl living out west
With dreams of stardom and smartly dressed

Now I’ve been out with a lot of girls
East and West and all ‘round the world
And I’m not just making a speech to you
Let’s see if she can teach me a thing or two

(chorus)
Hey girl,
Will I have to pay a price
I’ve been looking for you
Oh so long
Don’t think twice
We’ll go to paradise
Where we’ll share our love
In a higher place
Oh where we’ll share our love
In a higher place

(verse)
I went to surprise her one Saturday night
Flowers in my hand and an appetite
Just polished up my blue black car
When out walked a guy “looked like a rock star” (semi spoken)

Now rock star was chatting her up in the yard
Told her she could be a star on the Blvd
She wanted that and her hand print on the walk
But I heard “I am not buying it” in her talk

(chorus)
Hey girl,
Will I have to pay a price
I’ve been looking for you
Oh so long
Don’t think twice
We’ll go to paradise
Where we’ll share our love
In a higher place
Oh where we’ll share our love
In a higher place

(bridge)
She turned away from rock star
Said see ya later jumped in my car
She taught me a thing or two I can’t deny
Took my flowers and waved him goodbye


(chorus)
Hey girl,
Thank you for paying the price
I’ve been looking for you
Oh so long
Don’t think twice
We’ll go to paradise
Where we’ll share our love
In a higher place
Oh where we’ll share our love
In a higher place


Repeat

© 2007 Ted Bryson

I'll be back, might take me a few days, I am flat out with work at the moment.

Thanks Mike, how exciting, I'll have a go at it.


Michele
Aussie girl from down under

Mike....How neat is that....here's my lame entry....never was a lyric writer....anyway.....thanks for the fun.....hope you are well....Bob

Comes in around 18 seconds........intro....

Unknown(Not the title)
Caro/Pickens


I don’t know which way I’m going
My world has bee turned upside down
Will I ever find the way back one day
Or will I stay lost and never found

I’m never giving up
I’m never giving in
Never going to quit fighting….. for my life

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=420834&songID=6333987

Hi Sub,

Just curious where does the first note of the prechorus start. Can you use the timer on the soundclick box in lower title box to determine and let us know. Thanks.

Hi,

And what do you want it to be about? Is is wide open?

Cool idea, Sub. I'm tied up for a few days but will try to do something later. Got an idea for the melody but have to think of the lyric - that's always harder for me

Scott

Here's my concept take. I just couldn't hit the melody that I had in my head, but I gave it the best shot I could. It's obvious I won't be the singer for this one!

MP3: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6334317

Kevin

***************************************************

Somehow, Someday
(c) Caro/Emmrich 2008

(pre-chorus)
:01 Hey, Look at me
:09 It's about us, can't you see ....

(Chorus)
:17 (that) Somehow we will make it through
:26 Someday you will call me and say
:34 (that) Somehow I made it up to you
:44 Someday we'll remember this day

(outro/ending)
:52 But it won't make any difference
:57 If you're not with me
:59 Somehow, Someday

****************************************************
Edit: Oops, the times are from the original track, I slid everything over a little when I mixed it to an MP3.

Never mind Sub on my question above. I kind of just started with the first note and started that as the first note of a pre-chorus. I even have a melody in my head, I can't believe it. This was fun and challenging for me because the music was fast, YIKES!! This really felt like an exercise for me because it's out of my comfort zone, (geez I'm even sweating, just kiddin ) but really this was a lyrical/melodical workout and it was fun! I don't know technologically how to post my melodic offering, but here is the lyric for now (maybe I can work on that)

Remember 1st word starts on first note of your first shorter Soundclick version.

Sub’s "Idol" Challenge
I'm calling this:
"Lead Back To Me"
(c)2008 Mike Caro/Lynn Orloff


You say, you say, you say, you gotta follow your dreams,
I know, I know, ohhhhhhh… baby I know what you mean,
It just hurts letting go, letting you go but I will,
I just want you to know, I’ll be here for you,
I will be waiting to see, waiting to see if your dreams,
If your dreams, if your dreams,………ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh
if your dreams lead back to me.

P.S. Ooops, almost forgot, cool song Sub!!

Sub if I understand the directions, this link is just the chorus- is that right? And at a later time you will compose music to the verses? Some of us don't write that way because after we "filled in" the chorus' lyrics and melody, some of us would already know where the verses were going and the chances that our verse would have the same chord progression as what you come up with next -are small. Or maybe I just don't understand the concept here.

Now if you had a 3 minute piece that outlined verses and chorus' then we could see the whole picture. It is an interesting idea, I just don't understand why it is parceled out piecemeal.

Joe, Sub already has a finished instrumental in need of rock lyrics. So you wouldn't write in your usual way...you'd need to come up with an idea that sounds right, and will likely be re-molded a few times. Rock is more about the sound and feel than it is about the lyrics...sort of the opposite of country, I guess.

I hear I'm missing a party over here!
WAY cool idea Sub - thanks for hosting this!

I like the chord progressions - will see what comes to me.
Glad I have a few days.

Linda

Hi Mark!

Wow that was fast! You're gonna laugh but I think it's no surprise that your melody
and phrasing ideas are very close to mine. Of course I had something in my head
for this but wasn't set or certain. You felt the same things I did...

This was very good... It flowed and was catchy and that is the most important thing.

I like the backing vocals and the little add lib. We will keep on listening to see what others come up with and your always welcome to do more with it or change to make alternate versions... Nice work! The lyric reminded me of older cool Rasberry's love that stuff... may need to be slightly more edgier maybe... it was actually song nicely
with the harmonies and all..

But the pharsing was cool......

This is gonna be lots of fun!!!

Hi Derek! Thanks....

Don't worry eventually no matter were this song ends up there will be a singer brought in. You sounded a bit like Ozzy on this COOL

I gotta tell ya, you guys are putting smiles on my face. Derek that was very catchy
the opening line especially. I though your chorus melody was very good.

Two people impressed me so far The lyric on this is gonna be tough of course
not a whole lotta space so to speak to get alot of info in. That's part of the challenge.

That's what makes it so different than most Country songs you seem to have all the time in the world to tell a story. This song flys by you pretty quick and the tempo isn't even that fast...

You have a good melody and phrasing going on here, the lyric is not quite it.. but that's totally cool. You can always work on that, if you have a great melody your lyrics will NEVER sound awkward, forced or unflowing to the listener

Nice Job! Derek

Hi Ted

Fast work! I wish you could track a vocal for this so I can hear what you're thinking.

I liked a lit of words in the this lyric but that may lines fit the feeling of he song,
A little edgier, I know what does that actually mean? Some of the words you used
were unexpected liek "fancy frills" "appettite" "blue black car"

But the way they are coming out at us is the thing that's off the approach
Not Rock enough... you don't wanna really talk about "Rock" or Rockstars.

I tried a few ways to sing your chorus to this music and couldn't get it to fit or flow... I did come with something that started to sound cool but the meter threw me

Hey girl,
Will I have to pay a price
I’ve been looking for you
Oh so long
Don’t think twice
We’ll go to paradise

It felt like it needed to be more in this meter of words

Hey Girl
Will I have to pay a price
Oh so long
I want to go to paradise
Hey you
-------
--
------

If you follow what I'm getting at... meter and beat.

Nice Work! some good lyric in there.

Het ya old Buddy! Glad you joined in.... Don't forget to feel free to pass this on to
Dennis as well.. ah! very cool

Okay - I LOVED the tag.. very in the pocket. Fit like a glove phrase wise.

The chorus was definitly feeling like a verse totally. If you could match your chorus with the same pop as that ending tag ... watch out!

I also liked the emotion and energy you were putting across all around.

Nice Job! U know I like you sooo much i may just give you the song and the whole
damn package

Michele - Take your time!

Hi Lynn

Kevin so nicely anwered your question below... he put a time in the sections.

Thanks Kev!

Go Lynn!

Kristi - It's wide open... however I should drop some moer verse music in so we can all hear the song has some angst.

It has an angry type of verse but a pretty and resolving, settling kind of chorus.

That's kind of a direction.... but try to let the music dicate the lyric a little.

I could never imagine the lyric being harder for you but I know what you mean lol..
Take your time pal you have an open invite

Can you believe it I'm actually wiped out and it's only 4:00 am

Double session today and I quick mixed John & Iggys's band "Too Little Time" Live CD yesterday. 19 songs!

Want to say thanks for all the input and responses to the thread so far. I posted it on the lyric board as well in hopes of finding some cool lyrics and to drag some lyric people over here some more

Also I have been VERY fortunate to have been feeling a bit better as of late. I'm kinda on a streak now 5 days and dont want it to end, but must keep going to try and get help.
I may be going back to Vestibular Therapy If I can afford it.

I'll be back tomorrow to listen and look some more...

*As for the song I should put up a verse as well so you can hear the songs style flow. It has an angry kinda verse feel with angst, and the chorus gets more settling and nicer, moody more pretty in a way.



Great work everybody! I'm smiling

Post deleted by Derek Hines

HiYa Sub!

OK.. listened to it about 20X...think I'm into the Groove of it.

Felt like a Pre- of 2 lines, then a 4-Line Chorus. I penned it "from the mind of" my 23-yr-old Live-At-Home Son, with a tidge of Tom Petty to it. (Already emailled it to your Soundclick Addy.)

Herewegooo....

Very Little is Meaningful
(Some things..Rarely-Change)
The Day-to-Day seems Mechanical
(Why that IS, 'Can't Explain!)

Every Day has a Starting Point
Every Evening is The End
Go to Sleep, after I Set the Clock
Wakes Me Up..I Start Again...

(PRE)
Time..Slips..A-Way...
(It Flies...Day...By-Day...

(CHORUS)
So How Are You Going..To LIVE WITH YOUR LIFE?
What Do You Know..That will Help You Survive?
Do You Share the Hopes that will Keep Love Alive?
Will You Find That Someone..To LIVE WITH YOUR LIFE?

My Job's..Not-Important
Week-to-Week..Just "A Check"
Looking Back, I'm not Too-Far-Along
& Looking Forth..Not-Much-Ahead...

(REPEAT PRE & CHORUS)

(BRIDGE)
I'm Sure There's A Purpose..Behind "The Plan"
(Something that WORKS...For a Working Man...)

(But) Down the Hall...There Is a Smile
Right Beneath..those Flashing Eyes
Warmest Voice..Melts My Heart
(I want to Love Her...'Till I Die!)

(PRE)
As Time Slips..A-Way...
& Flies...Day...By-Day...

(CHORUS)
So How Are You Going..To LIVE WITH YOUR LIFE?
What Do You Know..That will Help You Survive?
Can We Share the Hopes that will Keep Love Alive?
Will You Find that Someone..To LIVE WITH YOUR LIFE?

(TAG)
To LIVE WITH YOUR LIFE--

Lyrics (C) 2008 by Stan Good, BMI
All Rights Reserved.

Yes, but I only heard one minute of music- that is not enough material for a song yet. Where is the rest of it?

Guess you just need to write a chorus.

Post deleted by Derek Hines

Hi Mike

Love the fun idea. I'd love to play too, but I'm slow. Maybe something will come and I'll share too. jm

hi derek,i`m from the buffalo area visting friends in peachtree cit for a week or so. any suggestions for finding a casual open jam session or open mike etc.,et al? cheers, harry ps i`ve never mailed on this site so you can also respond at altaskidog@yahoo peace

It might be a good idea NOT to listen to the other entries before you do your own...it would be really hard for me to get everyone else's hooks out of my head while I tried to write a different idea. That's why I jumped in quick!

Here's my entry Mike. I had a lot of fun with this! Thanks for making it available.

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6336171

Gigantic

Here comes that feeling again
Cant stop the waves from crashing in

chorus
I's so Gigantic, so Awesome, Titanic
I feel like I could lose control (of my heart and soul)
'Cause its so Gigantic, way over romantic
Why did you do this to me (can't you see)
Sometimes I wish that I could
Take control and make this feeling stop

Pete Gallatin 2008

Hey Mike It seems there is a wee bit confusion. There are posts re this on different boards and some are posting here whilst others myself included are posting on lyric boards or Mp3 etc. Could you clarify where we should post so that we can all post in the same place.
Just for the record here is my lyric entry.


My Luck Just Changed
by Big Jim Merrilees (mar 08)


Twinkle twinkle little eye
Over in the corner I do spy
Leaning over the record machine
Looking like a beauty queen.
With a bra less skin tight white T shirt
And tighter jeans that really must hurt

Oh I’m in love
She’s the one for me.

She looks me over and smiles at me
My luck just changed OOOWEE
She’s a real good looker
Not the usual hooker
That comes into this bar
She’s a real fine lady
Not the usual shady
Lady of the night.

Well I go across to meet her
Cause she’s so sweeter
Than honey from a bee
Lets have a little drink
And you have a little think
About going home with me

Oh I’m in love
She’s the one for me

She looks me over and smiles at me
My luck just changed OOOWEE
Shes a real good looker
Not the usual hooker
That comes into this bar
Shes a real fine lady
Not the usual shady
Lady of the night.

Well she has a little think
And she gives a little wink
Sayin that would be unwise
I said change your mind
don’t be unkind
I wont tell you no lies

Oh I’m in love
She’s the one for me.

She looks me over and smiles at me
She said your luck just changed OOOWEE
Shes a real good looker
Not the usual hooker
That comes into this bar
Shes a real fine lady
Not the usual shady
Lady of the night.

Hi Mike,

Hear Me!

Pre:: (4 seconds in)
Doesn't matter what I say
My words may fly away

Chorus: (9 seconds in)
Hear me - I'm call-ing
I'm fall-ing - your grace can't hold me
Hear me - I've lost out
I'm washed out - but pain can't hold me
So tear down - this corn-er
It's ov-er - no more pretending

Robert Carrick UK

Hi Derek

Much better... I like that you have a bunch of options posted here. I like using tha approach on paper all the way untill the song is sung

I'm trying to figure out the best combo of these lines.....

Hi Ya Stan

Thanks for joining us and our little band

Your whole concept overall feels way off but this Chorus is not, it's way on,:)
very close.

(CHORUS)
So How Are You Going..To LIVE WITH YOUR LIFE?
What Do You Know..That will Help You Survive?
Do You Share the Hopes that will Keep Love Alive?
Will You Find That Someone..To LIVE WITH YOUR LIFE?

Hi Kevin

Yes I agree you probably won't be the singer on this one ....

Thanks for putting up the time numbers as well, I meant to do that.

Your take on the song: Not bad the pitchy vocal of course is gonna hurt it but of course I can hear past that. The biggest problem with this is the timing & phrasing.
The melody is decent but it's swimming a little, notes are too short too long not enough syllables too many for one spot. It has an awkward way about it.

* One of the big keys here is : If you have a great flow or meter, just a catchy melody the words become less and less important. Not that they aren't important but you should not even notice them or think twice about them on the first listen..

This is how Rock Bands and certain artists get RICH & FAMOUS right before our eyes and ears


Oh yes I love that song, Wow is that what he is singing there ???

Lynn - Thanks for the compliment on the tune

I take it as a compliment from everyone participating thanks again guys & gals.

I'm trying to sing what you have here a few ways and i'm not nailing anything.
Some of us definitly need to be able to show us the melody they have for there lyrics. Would be a great help I know..

The thing that's bothering me slightly is I don't like the word Dreams in any songs At least not my own... I have used the word many times of course but I avoid "Dreams & Love" like the plague.....
Love is okay if it's used in a quick passing line.

I love chocolate, and the sweet air of .......

IDK Mike...you don't want love...so I change 1 word and wham! ...in business ...The melodys there bud...you can hear it can't ya?...I kind of like this better anyway..

(chorus)
Hey girl,
Will I have to pay a price
I’ve been looking for you
Oh so long
Don’t think twice
We’ll go to paradise
Where we’ll share our life
In a higher place

Hi Joe,

Finally I reached this post Your right it would be better of course to have the whole song. The verses are very small in this song,,, They hit a chord and then have a scratching guitar sound that plays like a beat, very spacious.

You can catch part of the verse right as the pre-chorus starts. I'll post up a verse going into the pre- into the ending chorus soon.

My thought here and I'm thinking on the fly as usual was to put up the chorus.
I figured if the song is ever gonna be anything it's gonna have to have that most importanly. While as I'm looking to finish this song I'm also doing this for a few reasons and one is to help some people here with there melodies, and writing approach, and there versatility etc... take them out of there comfort zone a little.

I'm setting things up like say we had a BAND and I'm the guitarist and I came up with this cool chorus music change. And I was looking to the singer or any other memeber of the group for a contribution to this chorus.

This is kind of a test in collaborating as well... It's about just being "musical"
If I can't come up with a cool chorus then I'm in trouble as a songwriter. Or I may just not be feeling this song or that part. Maybe I can come up with something for the verses while someone else nails the chorus etc....

Thanks for reminding me though to bring the verse in I was just trying a snippet of the song to see what everyone can do just focused on one main section with everything they have.

When hearing something catchy, Jumping in with catchy additions is the first sign of
being very "musical" having that potential hit writer quality.

Mark K did that right away without even thinking.. that's very "musical"

Where is Niteshift????? by the way!

Thanks Joe, I'll get that verse up asap...

Better Ted,,,, I still don't have the meter yet....:)

I can sing the first two lines then the third throws me off

Post deleted by Derek Hines

Many Songs are three minutes so one minute is an eternity. In this minute lies the pre-chorus and the chorus and the ending tag, 3 different sections of the song.

When finished & spread out they will total more than half the length of the song

Sub,
How many times can we submit....what inspires me one day might not the next....

Yes Derek exactly.... What it really does is and what i'm trying to make you do is be "Musical" Don't think! Feel

The cool thing about this style of music and many others is exactly that "Style"

Listen to how the simple music and dynamics of this music is telling a story without words. You can feel the urgency in that ending when everyone is banging on the same chord and beat...

When i hear the end of this piece the first words that comes into my head is the words..." Urgency" "Emergency" "Look what you've done to me"

The song has this tension and release I have to put the verse up but they are very spacious and simple parts. This song is all pre-chorus chorus,,, and that Little RIFF you here the riff right at the pre-chorus

Kathy - You can submitt as much as you like especially you!!!

I gotta go back up I keep skipping posts bt accident... You slide right past some with the mouse and side bar

Okay Joice we''l put you down for a verse or two Come on over!

Mr Pete - WOW! you shocked me a bit there brother... some VERY cool stuff.

Okay you lost the meter some, it kinda got away from you. It needed to shorten some things here and add some things there. Some of those follow vocals were slamming, meaning (cool)

Then some were slightly too much, like it needed a touch of space.

The end tag was GREAT but the last line feel too long and did end on a good sound..
Meaning the choice of how a word sounds in a certain place.. I have struggles greatly with that last line as well. Do you know the working lyric I have there is
Are you ready? - "Goodbye" lol... It actually works great and what better word to end with... but when you do something a little hokey or odd you have to support
it.. give it a coll reason for being there... tha's one of my made up rules

Pete - Yours is running very high on the list along with a few others.

I'm impressed.. now I'll go back and look at the lyrics some your melody didn't even make me think about what you were saying at all. JUST LIKE ALL RADIO HITS

Are we learning some things first hand, hands on I should say folks?