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#537647 - 08/31/07 07:01 PM Molly, the Devil 'n me  
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Alan (Len) Gentle Offline
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Alan (Len) Gentle  Offline
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This is a folk murder "ballad". If you are squeamish, this may not be for you.

(With thanks to Joice Marie for the title)

Molly, the Devil 'n me

Verse
Molly had a pretty face
A head of golden curls
Molly wore a wedding dress
Trimmed with lace and pearls
I wed her at the altar
In the winter time
And now she lays beneath the ground
And no-one knows my crime

Chorus
And Molly said our love would live forever
And Molly said she would never leave
But now she lies cold below the snow
And it's Molly, the Devil n' me who knows

Verse
As she walked beside me
In the snow and ice
I gently held her golden curls
And took her precious life
I laid her in a hole
Among the worms and turf
And Molly spent her wedding night
Sleeping in the earth

Chorus
And Molly said our love would live forever
And Molly said she would never leave
But now she lies cold below the snow
And it's Molly, the Devil n' me who knows

Bridge
The final words she said as I cracked her pretty head
"By the Devil I've a right to have my wedding night"

Verse
Now I see the outlines
Of footprints in the snow
And I hear a wedding dress
Scrape the stairs below
And I hear a voice say
"I'm back for what you owe"
And now we lay below the earth
Where no-one else will know

Chorus
And Molly said our love would live forever
And Molly said she would never leave
But now we lie cold below the snow
And it's Molly, the Devil n' me who knows

Last edited by aggentle; 09/01/07 06:59 PM.

Cheers,
Len
#537652 - 08/31/07 07:18 PM Re: Molly's Wedding Night [Re: Alan (Len) Gentle]  
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Hi Len,
Welcome to the board.
Well, not as graphic as "Nashville Girl" if you know that one from a long time ago.
Not too graphic for a dark folk ballad I wouldn't think. I don't find a lot to nit except, unless I missed it, I didn't unerstand the "reason" the deed was done. Nashville Girl doesn't give a lot I don't think, except ,really the second line here, as I remember ---
Go down go down you Nashville girl
With your dark and roving eye---------------------------------------------
like she'd been cheatin'
Good luck with it
Wy


#537653 - 08/31/07 07:20 PM Re: Molly's Wedding Night [Re: Alan (Len) Gentle]  
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Joice Marie Offline
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Joice Marie  Offline
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Hi Len

Sends a chill up my spine..... but...should the bridge maybe tell/hint at, the why?

Anyway, maybe....

And it's Molly, the Devil 'n Me who knows

Title: Molly the Devil 'n ME


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#537656 - 08/31/07 07:25 PM Re: Molly's Wedding Night [Re: Joice Marie]  
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Alan (Len) Gentle Offline
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Alan (Len) Gentle  Offline
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Hi and thanks Wy and Joice,

Molly, the Devil 'n Me sounds great, and i like the snappier chorus line.

I did think about the "why" and whether to go into it, but decided against it for now. Murders can be more chilling for their lack of reason. Leaving it unspoken may make it more potent; something akin to "I killed a man in Reo (?) just to see him die".


Cheers,
Len
#537792 - 09/01/07 08:28 AM Re: Molly's Wedding Night [Re: Alan (Len) Gentle]  
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Calvin Offline
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Hi Len,

Nice to meet ya, welcome to JPF.
Well this one is different, I like what I'm reading.

Here's my favorite part....
The final words she said as I cracked her pretty head


Good work.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#537801 - 09/01/07 09:28 AM Re: Molly's Wedding Night [Re: Alan (Len) Gentle]  
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PogoDog Offline
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'gentle Len,

I love your twisted lyric... 'cept for some places:


Molly, the Devil 'n me

Verse
Molly had a pretty face
A head of golden curls
Molly wore a wedding dress
Trimmed with lace and pearls
I wed her at the altar
Amongst the winter snow <----- here*
And now she lays beneath the ground
And no-one else will know <----- here*

Chorus
And Molly said our love would live forever
And Molly said she would never leave
But now she lies cold below the snow
And it's Molly, the Devil n' me who knows

Verse
As she walked beside me
In the snow and ice
I gently held her golden curls
And took her precious life
I laid her in a hole
Among the worms and turf
And Molly spent her wedding night
Sleeping in the earth

Chorus
And Molly said our love would live forever
And Molly said she would never leave
But now she lies cold below the snow
And it's Molly, the Devil n' me who knows

Bridge
The final words she said as I cracked her pretty head
"By the Devil I've a right to have my wedding night"

Verse
Now I see the outlines
Of footprints in the snow
And I hear a wedding dress
Scrape the stairs below
And I hear a voice say
"I'm back for what you owe"
And now we lay below the earth
Where no-one else will know <----- and here*

Chorus
And Molly said our love would live forever
And Molly said she would never leave
But now she lies cold below the snow
And it's Molly, the Devil n' me who knows

* The rhymes used in verses 1 & 3 are the same as the chorus. Though not wrong, per se, the repetition does dull down the impact of the chorus in an obvious way. IMO, a few sound changes to the verse rhymes would improve this lyric significantly.

Also, I agree with your decision to withhold certain facts. Keeping the 'why' under wraps adds to the odd, uncomfortable feel that's an important part of your lyric. Nice job!



Dog

#537806 - 09/01/07 10:55 AM Re: Molly, the Devil 'n me [Re: Alan (Len) Gentle]  
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D)  Offline
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HIDee There, Len, ya Wild Turk! ;-)>

Well-Writ Evil Fun, Amigo!

Enjoyed It..Dark tho it be!

Sug: Last Chorus doesn't reflect she came back to get HIM in Last Verse. SO: (K-O-S) Chorus Line 3:
"But now WE lie beneath the snow"

That'll wrap all things up Nicely!

Good Luck with this Strange, Evil, yet very Folksily-Pleasing One!

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

#537853 - 09/01/07 02:21 PM Re: Molly, the Devil 'n me [Re: ]  
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Sam Wilson Offline
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Sam Wilson  Offline
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Yeah, really, why did you do it?

That is, unless you're just a cold blooded murderer who thinks it's fun to kill innocent people........

Now do you see what people might think when the explanation of your ideas is omitted from the lyric for whatever reason?

Decent write, though.....


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#537862 - 09/01/07 02:39 PM Re: Molly, the Devil 'n me [Re: Sam Wilson]  
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Alan (Len) Gentle Offline
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Hi all and thanks for looking in and the kind words smile

Calvin, I chewed over that line and how graphic to make it. Hopefully, I have the balance right. I'm not aiming for horror porn with this, more gothic folk.

For a similar tune, check out Nick Cave's wonderful Where the Wild Roses Grow. His character's reason was "all beauty must die", not much of a reason.

PogoDog, I understand your point and it's niggling me, but the repetitive rhmyes seem to work to my ear at the moment. I think if/when I get this to music I'll have to sort it out. Probably by switching the rhymes in verse 1.

Hi Stan. I'm back again, like Hayleys Comet wink You're spot on with your sugg on the final verse. I'll change it, thanks.

Snake, to be honest I don't know why "he" did it, other than being a psycho. I've listened to a few trad folk tales about poor girls being done in on the moors and there isn't much of a reason. I would not be happy with this unless the singer gets their just desserts. Being dragged into the ground by a corpse to share their wedding night (plus the Devil is backing the whole thing) seems revenge enough to put the whole thing on a positive keel.

I've been toying with the idea of an outtro tag (whatever); what do you all think to:

And if you ask me the reason, well
That's between Molly, the Devil 'n me


Cheers,
Len
#537903 - 09/01/07 05:30 PM Re: Molly, the Devil 'n me [Re: Alan (Len) Gentle]  
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John Voorpostel Offline
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John Voorpostel  Offline
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Well you say only you, her and the devil know, so why go further? And there is sufficiently tongue in cheek attitude in the writing to pass as "dark" vs evil, so melikes it....especially her protestation that she was entitlked to a wedding night...brilliant IMO.....do agree with the "coloured" pointers....when I passed it the first time, I wanted to hear\see something like

I wed her at the altar
I really like the show
But now she lays beneath the ground
Wrapped in her fine trousseau

KOS...it's a fun piece!



If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

My Youtube Channel <<<>>> iAccountant
#537927 - 09/01/07 07:02 PM Re: Molly, the Devil 'n me [Re: John Voorpostel]  
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Alan (Len) Gentle Offline
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Thanks John, I've changed the rhymes in verse 1 now so that they don't repeat the chorus. The last line of v1 also makes it more obvious the character did the deed. Still no reason though smile


Cheers,
Len
#537932 - 09/01/07 07:18 PM Re: Molly, the Devil 'n me [Re: Alan (Len) Gentle]  
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Aaron Authier Offline
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Aaron Authier  Offline
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Hey aggentile nice to meet you
controversial lyric here but well presented in a fine folk fashion
I don't think there is ever enough reason to kill someone
So I agree with us not knowing why he did it
Human brain can be a very cerebral weapon
Good luck with it if you chose to do anything with it
Take care

#537962 - 09/01/07 10:07 PM Re: Molly, the Devil 'n me [Re: Alan (Len) Gentle]  
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PogoDog Offline
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moved to PM

#537980 - 09/02/07 01:07 AM Re: Molly, the Devil 'n me [Re: PogoDog]  
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Noel Downs Offline
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Noel Downs  Offline
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Nice work... smile




http://www.soundclick.com/noeldownsandfriends


Tolerance means if you don't like something you ignore it
#538109 - 09/02/07 06:53 PM Re: Molly, the Devil 'n me [Re: Noel Downs]  
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Alan (Len) Gentle Offline
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Thaks Airun and Noel smile

PogoDog, did you mean personal message (as I didn't see anything there...)?


Cheers,
Len
#538211 - 09/03/07 08:16 AM Re: Molly, the Devil 'n me [Re: Alan (Len) Gentle]  
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PogoDog Offline
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Sorry Len, I did intend to send that PM without getting sidetracked... then before I knew it I assumed I already had. Now it's no longer relevant, how crazy is that? crazy Anyway, I still have a sug for your first verse- if you're up for it:

I think your verse changes are appropriate especially since they free up the snow/know rhyme to be used in the chorus. But I must admit that I miss the word "Amongst" (or among). As it implied there were guests who attended the ceremony.
A simple comprise to consider:

Verse
Molly had a pretty face
A head of golden curls
Molly wore a wedding dress
Trimmed with lace and pearls
I wed her at the altar
Among the winter pines
And now she waits beneath the ground
To consummate the crime

Again... KOS

Below are the Moors Murderers - quite inspiring, eh?

eek Myra Hindley and Ian Brady
[Linked Image]

#538343 - 09/03/07 06:38 PM Re: Molly, the Devil 'n me [Re: PogoDog]  
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Alan (Len) Gentle Offline
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Hi PogoDog, thanks for the suggs. I'll ponder on it, but I want to bring in the snow/winter theme right from V1 so that the chorus chimes.

Sorry about the PMs ... I don;t come here often and have never used the PMs here...

As for those two, its funny, but even after, what, 50 years does anyone understand why those two did it? Sometimes it can't be easily explained and certainly very hard to forgive and move on.

Ahhh, I've just noticed that you've edited your suggestion. I like it, but I want to keep the whole "I'll have you in bed" angle until the last verse... gives it more of a kick I think.

But I really do appreciate the close attention and thought you're giving here. Hope I can return the favour.


Cheers,
Len
#538473 - 09/04/07 10:32 AM Re: Molly, the Devil 'n me [Re: Alan (Len) Gentle]  
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PogoDog Offline
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Originally Posted by aggentle


Ahhh, I've just noticed that you've edited your suggestion. I like it, but I want to keep the whole "I'll have you in bed" angle until the last verse... gives it more of a kick I think.


Note to self: Dead girls ain't easy. whistle







#538494 - 09/04/07 11:36 AM Re: Molly, the Devil 'n me [Re: PogoDog]  
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Alan (Len) Gentle Offline
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One for the title bank I think!


Cheers,
Len
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