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This is a folk murder "ballad". If you are squeamish, this may not be for you.
(With thanks to Joice Marie for the title)
Molly, the Devil 'n me
Verse Molly had a pretty face A head of golden curls Molly wore a wedding dress Trimmed with lace and pearls I wed her at the altar In the winter time And now she lays beneath the ground And no-one knows my crime
Chorus And Molly said our love would live forever And Molly said she would never leave But now she lies cold below the snow And it's Molly, the Devil n' me who knows
Verse As she walked beside me In the snow and ice I gently held her golden curls And took her precious life I laid her in a hole Among the worms and turf And Molly spent her wedding night Sleeping in the earth
Chorus And Molly said our love would live forever And Molly said she would never leave But now she lies cold below the snow And it's Molly, the Devil n' me who knows
Bridge The final words she said as I cracked her pretty head "By the Devil I've a right to have my wedding night"
Verse Now I see the outlines Of footprints in the snow And I hear a wedding dress Scrape the stairs below And I hear a voice say "I'm back for what you owe" And now we lay below the earth Where no-one else will know
Chorus And Molly said our love would live forever And Molly said she would never leave But now we lie cold below the snow And it's Molly, the Devil n' me who knows
Last edited by aggentle; 09/01/07 06:59 PM.
Cheers, Len
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Hi Len, Welcome to the board. Well, not as graphic as "Nashville Girl" if you know that one from a long time ago. Not too graphic for a dark folk ballad I wouldn't think. I don't find a lot to nit except, unless I missed it, I didn't unerstand the "reason" the deed was done. Nashville Girl doesn't give a lot I don't think, except ,really the second line here, as I remember --- Go down go down you Nashville girl With your dark and roving eye--------------------------------------------- like she'd been cheatin' Good luck with it Wy
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Hi Len
Sends a chill up my spine..... but...should the bridge maybe tell/hint at, the why?
Anyway, maybe....
And it's Molly, the Devil 'n Me who knows
Title: Molly the Devil 'n ME
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Hi and thanks Wy and Joice,
Molly, the Devil 'n Me sounds great, and i like the snappier chorus line.
I did think about the "why" and whether to go into it, but decided against it for now. Murders can be more chilling for their lack of reason. Leaving it unspoken may make it more potent; something akin to "I killed a man in Reo (?) just to see him die".
Cheers, Len
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Hi Len, Nice to meet ya, welcome to JPF. Well this one is different, I like what I'm reading. Here's my favorite part.... The final words she said as I cracked her pretty head Good work. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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'gentle Len,
I love your twisted lyric... 'cept for some places:
Molly, the Devil 'n me
Verse Molly had a pretty face A head of golden curls Molly wore a wedding dress Trimmed with lace and pearls I wed her at the altar Amongst the winter snow <----- here* And now she lays beneath the ground And no-one else will know <----- here*
Chorus And Molly said our love would live forever And Molly said she would never leave But now she lies cold below the snow And it's Molly, the Devil n' me who knows
Verse As she walked beside me In the snow and ice I gently held her golden curls And took her precious life I laid her in a hole Among the worms and turf And Molly spent her wedding night Sleeping in the earth
Chorus And Molly said our love would live forever And Molly said she would never leave But now she lies cold below the snow And it's Molly, the Devil n' me who knows
Bridge The final words she said as I cracked her pretty head "By the Devil I've a right to have my wedding night"
Verse Now I see the outlines Of footprints in the snow And I hear a wedding dress Scrape the stairs below And I hear a voice say "I'm back for what you owe" And now we lay below the earth Where no-one else will know <----- and here*
Chorus And Molly said our love would live forever And Molly said she would never leave But now she lies cold below the snow And it's Molly, the Devil n' me who knows
* The rhymes used in verses 1 & 3 are the same as the chorus. Though not wrong, per se, the repetition does dull down the impact of the chorus in an obvious way. IMO, a few sound changes to the verse rhymes would improve this lyric significantly.
Also, I agree with your decision to withhold certain facts. Keeping the 'why' under wraps adds to the odd, uncomfortable feel that's an important part of your lyric. Nice job!
Dog
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HIDee There, Len, ya Wild Turk! ;-)>
Well-Writ Evil Fun, Amigo!
Enjoyed It..Dark tho it be!
Sug: Last Chorus doesn't reflect she came back to get HIM in Last Verse. SO: (K-O-S) Chorus Line 3: "But now WE lie beneath the snow"
That'll wrap all things up Nicely!
Good Luck with this Strange, Evil, yet very Folksily-Pleasing One!
Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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Yeah, really, why did you do it?
That is, unless you're just a cold blooded murderer who thinks it's fun to kill innocent people........
Now do you see what people might think when the explanation of your ideas is omitted from the lyric for whatever reason?
Decent write, though.....
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Hi all and thanks for looking in and the kind words Calvin, I chewed over that line and how graphic to make it. Hopefully, I have the balance right. I'm not aiming for horror porn with this, more gothic folk. For a similar tune, check out Nick Cave's wonderful Where the Wild Roses Grow. His character's reason was "all beauty must die", not much of a reason. PogoDog, I understand your point and it's niggling me, but the repetitive rhmyes seem to work to my ear at the moment. I think if/when I get this to music I'll have to sort it out. Probably by switching the rhymes in verse 1. Hi Stan. I'm back again, like Hayleys Comet You're spot on with your sugg on the final verse. I'll change it, thanks. Snake, to be honest I don't know why "he" did it, other than being a psycho. I've listened to a few trad folk tales about poor girls being done in on the moors and there isn't much of a reason. I would not be happy with this unless the singer gets their just desserts. Being dragged into the ground by a corpse to share their wedding night (plus the Devil is backing the whole thing) seems revenge enough to put the whole thing on a positive keel. I've been toying with the idea of an outtro tag (whatever); what do you all think to: And if you ask me the reason, well That's between Molly, the Devil 'n me
Cheers, Len
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Well you say only you, her and the devil know, so why go further? And there is sufficiently tongue in cheek attitude in the writing to pass as "dark" vs evil, so melikes it....especially her protestation that she was entitlked to a wedding night...brilliant IMO.....do agree with the "coloured" pointers....when I passed it the first time, I wanted to hear\see something like
I wed her at the altar I really like the show But now she lays beneath the ground Wrapped in her fine trousseau
KOS...it's a fun piece!
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Thanks John, I've changed the rhymes in verse 1 now so that they don't repeat the chorus. The last line of v1 also makes it more obvious the character did the deed. Still no reason though
Cheers, Len
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Hey aggentile nice to meet you controversial lyric here but well presented in a fine folk fashion I don't think there is ever enough reason to kill someone So I agree with us not knowing why he did it Human brain can be a very cerebral weapon Good luck with it if you chose to do anything with it Take care
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Nice work...
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Thaks Airun and Noel PogoDog, did you mean personal message (as I didn't see anything there...)?
Cheers, Len
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Sorry Len, I did intend to send that PM without getting sidetracked... then before I knew it I assumed I already had. Now it's no longer relevant, how crazy is that? Anyway, I still have a sug for your first verse- if you're up for it:I think your verse changes are appropriate especially since they free up the snow/know rhyme to be used in the chorus. But I must admit that I miss the word "Amongst" (or among). As it implied there were guests who attended the ceremony. A simple comprise to consider: Verse Molly had a pretty face A head of golden curls Molly wore a wedding dress Trimmed with lace and pearls I wed her at the altar Among the winter pinesAnd now she waits beneath the ground To consummate the crimeAgain... KOS Below are the Moors Murderers - quite inspiring, eh? Myra Hindley and Ian Brady
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Hi PogoDog, thanks for the suggs. I'll ponder on it, but I want to bring in the snow/winter theme right from V1 so that the chorus chimes.
Sorry about the PMs ... I don;t come here often and have never used the PMs here...
As for those two, its funny, but even after, what, 50 years does anyone understand why those two did it? Sometimes it can't be easily explained and certainly very hard to forgive and move on.
Ahhh, I've just noticed that you've edited your suggestion. I like it, but I want to keep the whole "I'll have you in bed" angle until the last verse... gives it more of a kick I think.
But I really do appreciate the close attention and thought you're giving here. Hope I can return the favour.
Cheers, Len
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Ahhh, I've just noticed that you've edited your suggestion. I like it, but I want to keep the whole "I'll have you in bed" angle until the last verse... gives it more of a kick I think.
Note to self: Dead girls ain't easy.
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One for the title bank I think!
Cheers, Len
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