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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 216
Serious Contributor
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OP
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 216 |
Think moderately steady rhythm, maybe a little to the swing side, but not too much. Probably closest to J Buffett. Still in rough draft form. I'll try to record something this weekend and post early next week to help with critiques.
Thanks in advance.
Kelly
VERSE Babe, the weatherman says That it's gonna be hot on the coast. And you've been working your fingers Down to the bone.
Whatd'ya say, we just pack light And cruise on down to the Gulf tonight And wake up to the sun and the waves And a brand new day? (with just...)
CHORUS You and me Hitting the beach. Shaking off the troubles We've collected all week. Reconnecting two hearts As the day goes on. You look good And I feel fine. Break out the lotion And a bottle of wine Easy come, Easy go, I'm easy gone.
VERSE Babe, they're saying It's gonna be raining At home for the week. I'm thinking We ought to be drinking in style.
Flip flops, tank tops Some ice cold pop tops We should be where the fun doesn't stop For a day, for a week, for while. (with just...)
CHORUS
BRIDGE Think, if you will, of the golden sunrise The breeze over the bay Now just imagine no clouds in that blue sky As we chill away for a long, slow day.
CHORUS
©2007 Kelly Smith
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 356
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Posts: 356 |
Kelly,
one suggestion if you change the lst line of the chorus to "So easy gone" then it includes the both people in the song.
one other one "Losing the troubles" instead of "shaking off the troubles".
Kennan
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 42
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 42 |
Nicely done Kelly,
I think your JB comparison is an apt one....It's a neat demo, and other than those minor lyric tweaks suggested in the previous pst, I wouldn't change anything. Nicely done. Good luck with your song.
Jeremy
xxxxxxx
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
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Looks pretty good Kelly, I first thought the rhyming was a bit uneven but I can see where the singer could probably make it sound all right "I'm Easy Gone" is a good title. Maybe could even drop "I'm". Good write Wy
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 66
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 66 |
Kelly,
I'm in agreement with Wy and Zanna that the "I'm easy gone" line is a bit of a snag. But the demo pulls it off and that's half the battle won.
Cheers, Dog
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,669 Likes: 42
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,669 Likes: 42 |
Radio should love this one at 3:34. Real summer season appeal. Easy to hear, singing along by the 2nd chorus, good hook factor.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 356
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 356 |
Kelly,
Nicely done, I love the song.
Gets me tapping my toes and looking for my lawn chair and a cold beer at the same time.
A very relaxing sound.
Peace,
Nathan
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,697
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Nice job Kelly,
Can't say anything to help. I like the sound of it. Maybe could be just a slight bit more uptempo but other than that it sounds like a good one for Mr. Kenny Chesney. My son knows him, but I don't so don't really have an "in" for you there. It's a nice one though. Felt myself right at the scene.
sincerely,
Janice Hopkins
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 21
Casual Observer
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Casual Observer
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 21 |
sorry got dile up,did not listen to demo,just looking at lyrics,,i like the second half of each verse,,first half of first verse,,is a little vague,,also the first half of second verse,,is still talking about the weather at home,,, i like the title you and me for the song,with the direction you're going,,anyway i scribbled a chorus down,, you and me hand in hand you and me toes in the sand then you look at me like you did the night we first made love by the candle light the whole world melted away and all we could see was you and me
seem like you and me is the central theme of your song. just my thoughts,,this one is worth working on.
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