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#530791 - 08/11/07 09:43 PM I'm What You're Looking For.....now sung...acapella  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,278
Ben Burton Offline
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Ben Burton  Offline
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Bessemer,Al US
The acapella version of this song is here:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=593192&songID=5664427

I'm What You're Looking For
Ben Burton AUGUST 11, 2007

You think I'm crazy, maybe you're right
But listen what I got to say
Takes two to tango, my dancing's a sight
You're gonna love me anyway

Cause I'm what you're looking for
Every man you've dreamed about
I'll take you on a lifetime tour
You know I'm what you're looking for

Some of it's acting, most of it's real
But every bit is me inside
All the emotions that you can feel
Are on a pathway to my mind

And I'm what you're looking for
Every man you've dreamed about
I'll take you on a lifetime tour
You know I'm what you're looking for

So pack up all your "want to's" for the week-end
I'll bring some wine and make a touching toast
"Strawberry Fields Forever" will be playing
As we make love on Aphrodite's boat

Cause I'm what you're looking for
Every man you've dreamed about
I'll take you on a lifetime tour
You know I'm what you're looking for


Field of Dreams
#530794 - 08/11/07 09:51 PM Re: I'm What You're Looking For [Re: Ben Burton]  
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Joice Marie Offline
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Joice Marie  Offline
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Cornish Flat, NH, USA
Good Grief Ben

Did you have another out of body experience and someone else has taken your place??? Now this is a lyric ! and it's a darn good one, I might add. Go Ben !

I was just peeking in here and I cannot take the time now to find any nits (maybe there aren' t any?) but, nice job. !


jm smile


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
#530815 - 08/11/07 11:24 PM Re: I'm What You're Looking For [Re: Ben Burton]  
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Charlann Shepherd Offline
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Charlann Shepherd  Offline
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Burlington, KY, USA
Hey Ben!

This is awesome! This guy's got quite a collection of lines! Everything seems to be flowing together smoothly!

Charlann

#531153 - 08/13/07 06:22 AM Re: I'm What You're Looking For [Re: Charlann Shepherd]  
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PogoDog Offline
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Ben, I'm new - hello.

I agree that this flows rather smoothly except for one snag. Second verse, second line:

Some of it's acting, most of it's real
But every bit is me inside <------- not sure what this means.
All the emotions that you can feel
Are in a pipeline to my mind*

*The first and last two lines of this verse are quite clever. The remaining needs a little clarity to bring it up to par.

IMO

Cheers,
Randy

#531489 - 08/14/07 02:21 AM Re: I'm What You're Looking For [Re: PogoDog]  
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Ben Burton Offline
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Ben Burton  Offline
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Is this what is sometimes called a left-handed compliment.;) Speaking of lefties, Billy the Kid wasn't.

Well, I thought maybe I had something after your enthusiasm, but this thing just ran outta steam in a hurry.

Well, I put some sangin' to it anyhow.

Thanks, JM!
Ben

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=593192&songID=5664427


Hi Charlann,
Glad you approve. Thanks.


Howdy, DnC,

Nice to meet you.

That line you ain't getting is simply me saying that even even if I suddenly break into a British accent, or start imitating Cookie Monster, it's all a part of who I am ("still me inside"), though more often than not, there's no acting...real deal.

Thanks for the look-see and insight.

Ben


Field of Dreams
#531580 - 08/14/07 12:16 PM Re: I'm What You're Looking For [Re: Ben Burton]  
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Scott Campbell Offline
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Lakeland, FL, USA
Hey Ben:

I liked this one. I've said it before, but I like your voice too. Have you looked into ways to get yourself some backing - something like band in a box?

Only line that stuck in my craw was "Sgt Pepper's boat". I'm sure most wouldn't be bothered by it. To me, it was Lucy's boat - not sure Sgt. Pepper had one. But most probably wouldn't get the reference smile

Nice one....

Scott



#531621 - 08/14/07 02:10 PM Re: I'm What You're Looking For [Re: Scott Campbell]  
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Wolvman Offline
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Wolvman  Offline
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fly-by posting. Haven't listened yet...but the use of 'pipeline' seemed not to match the rest of the song. Less...romantic?...something. more later.


~Wolvman~
#531624 - 08/14/07 02:17 PM Re: I'm What You're Looking For [Re: Wolvman]  
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Pete Larsen Offline
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Pete Larsen  Offline
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Lebanon ME U.S.A.
Yo Ben,
Just like to add my enthusiasm to the lot. Nice goi'n bud , tried to listen to the worktape and Scotty yer breakin' up...it might just be the computer I'm using , but ; heard enouigh to recognize your sangin'.
Pete


Here we are wracking our brains today
to write lyrics that rhyme
and if we succeed, they'll end up in time
as tommorrow's cliche's...
Pete
#531631 - 08/14/07 02:27 PM Re: I'm What You're Looking For.....now sung...acapella [Re: Ben Burton]  
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Joanne Lurgio Offline
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Joanne Lurgio  Offline
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Hey there my friend Ben Burton!!
How are you!?!?!/
Haven't listened to you sing in quite a while ... comin' along just fine.
This is good ..
Only thing - It takes two to tango ... seems to be hanging there because the dance reference comes out of nowhere and is not connected to anything ... maybe if the next line tells her to hold on tight ... you will tie in the dancing reference and connet the thought
Just my humble opinion Ben!!
Joanne

#531646 - 08/14/07 03:02 PM Re: I'm What You're Looking For.....now sung...acapella [Re: Ben Burton]  
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D)  Offline
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Pretty Good Job, Bro Benster!

Randy & Scott picked up the 2 Parts that felt nittable as I read.

I'll expand on Randy's crit, to add that "Pipeline" to my mind didn't elicit the Most "Romantic" of Images... It kinda felt like a Reverse Drain..alas!

"Are STILL EXPANDING in my mind" I'd sug...(K-O-S)

Dunno if Chicks enjoyed Singer's Bragadoccio in V1, either..Lordy, that Singer's SURE Cocksure..ain't he? ;-)>
"I'll bet you'll love me anyways" (K-O-S) might make him a wee bit more-loveable?

Chorus I DID find Quite Likeable..Very-Reassuring to the Fairer Ones..JMO. Sounds like Quite-a-Guy there, "KUDOS!"

Maybe change "And" to "Since" in Chorus 2's Opening Line. "And" is frankly a Dull, kinda Throwaway-Word as a Lead-In...(JMO, Natch!)

"Touching toast"... Fine Alliteration..but DOES elicit a Snicker from my Dirty Ol' Man's Mind. The "Sgt Pepper" reference DOES kinda "Date" this piece..(It felt "Timeless" up 'til Then.) This Verse ain't yer Strongest, JMO, Maybe take her up the Mississipi on a Paddlewheel Boat..that'd be Romantic..& "Today" enough..to draw in Younger Listeners.

All (K-O-S) Stuff, Amigo! Overall, an Enjoyable, Cocky-Kinda-Ride!

Good Luck with it!

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

#531683 - 08/14/07 04:30 PM Re: I'm What You're Looking For.....now sung...acapella [Re: ]  
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Wyman Lloyd Offline
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Posts: 6,578
Missouri
Hey Ben Burton,
I haven't been able to play anything so I didn't try to listen.
Looks like a good ,'pert near unique slant--hook.
I mostly just looked at the nits some others thought were there
Since there's only the one reference to the dance, maybe a possibility of something in V 1, such as---

You think I'm crazy, maybe you're right
But listen what I got to say
Takes two to tango, so try as you might
(YOU'll BE MY PARTNER ANYWAY)

As far as the pipeline, nother poss--

Some of it's acting, most of it's real
But every bit is me inside
All the emotions that you can feel
(SEEK AND YOU'LL FIND HERE IN MY MIND)

Just ideas K O S
Lookin' good
Wy





#531690 - 08/14/07 04:57 PM Re: I'm What You're Looking For.....now sung...acapella [Re: Wyman Lloyd]  
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John W. Selleck Offline
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John W. Selleck  Offline
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NJ
Hi Ben,

Overall, I like it. All the good people above have hit my suggestions. I think tying into the tango line, with another dance line, would work very well. I also agree with the pipeline and Sgt Pepper suggestions. There are plenty of ways to fix both. Again, I like this one. Good luck with it.


Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost forever.

www.soundclick.com/johnsings
www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
www.soundclick.com/johnselleck
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandID=1468958 For Selleck/Kay co-writes
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