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#499131 - 05/02/07 08:43 PM Coffee House  
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 508
Dan Tindall Offline
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Dan Tindall  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2005
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Ireland
Hi folks

Just uploaded this new tune 'Coffee House' to ezFolk -

Coffee House
(Dan Tindall - 2007)

Equals sharing smoke and dirty laughing banter
A hatchet-faced mother berates her hatchet-faced son
Lovers kiss, girls chatter
And a guy sits doing nothing
As the last of the mohicans
Batters his bagel to death

And softly goes the coffee
Lightly goes the sugar
Sweetly goes the morning
As I slide beneath my chair

Rightly superstitious, all the hippies look for omens
But the only sign of life it seems, is the rattle of a car
Coppers stare like cobras
At old ladies dropping litter
Whilst criminals in coupes
Pay themselves a bonus

And somewhere in a forest
A tree has gently fallen
On the heads of those who are certain
That it never made a sound

And tell me if you're happy
Tell me if you're lonely
But leave me blissfully uncertain
If you're hanging on a wire

http://ezfolk.com/audio/play.php?mode=song_lofi&band_id=665&song_id=9228

http://ezfolk.com/audio/play.php?mode=song_hifi&band_id=665&song_id=9228

if you'd like to take a listen, I'd be delighted!

Dan smile

#499139 - 05/02/07 09:11 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: Dan Tindall]  
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327
James B. Mitchell Offline
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Moorpark, CA USA
Hey there, TRP! Great to see you again. I just "bumped into" Dan Monk earlier today.

The opening sounds a little like "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" theme. Do you know it?

Love the "falling tree" allusion. smile

Somehow I expected the thing to turn gentle when you hit the lines about the coffee. Instead, it does it instrumentally. Just wondered what the intention was there.

Great to be hearing your 12-string again.

- James


You can really only please one songwriter at a time. Might as well be yourself! :^)


Samples of my music at http://www.soundclick.com/jamesmitchell.htm
#499145 - 05/02/07 09:27 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: James B. Mitchell]  
Joined: Nov 2005
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Dan Tindall Offline
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Dan Tindall  Offline
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Originally Posted by James B. Mitchell
Hey there, TRP! Great to see you again. I just "bumped into" Dan Monk earlier today.

The opening sounds a little like "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" theme. Do you know it?

Love the "falling tree" allusion. smile

Somehow I expected the thing to turn gentle when you hit the lines about the coffee. Instead, it does it instrumentally. Just wondered what the intention was there.

Great to be hearing your 12-string again.

- James


Hi James smile

It's quite the FE reunion! Lovely to hear from again smile

It does have a Hitch-Hiker's twang to it - cool! One of my fave radio shows ever. smile

I think my intention was to create a sort of pause in the internal monologue. The song grew out of a few lines scribbled down whilst sitting drinking a coffee, and just staring about me. Maybe I'm trying to be too clever! smile

Cheers

Dan smile

#499261 - 05/03/07 01:50 AM Re: Coffee House [Re: Dan Tindall]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,074
Scott Campbell Offline
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Joined: Jul 2005
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Lakeland, FL, USA
Hey Dan:

Love the song. Especially the hatchet faced line and the tree part smile

I'm not listening on good speakers but the recording quality didn't seem as high as some of your other recent ones. Vocals didn't seem as crisp. I'll play it again on Friday on a different set of speakers. Might be at my end...

See ya,
Scott

#499276 - 05/03/07 02:54 AM Re: Coffee House [Re: Scott Campbell]  
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,429
Rick Norton Offline
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Rick Norton  Offline
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St. Augustine, FL
Hi Dan..

I think Scott will change his tune if he listened with headphones. Sounds real crisp to me. I'm not sure if the lyrics got off track a bit in the second verse, but cryptic is good sometimes. Love the guitar sound. Sounds like a song that would be sung over the video of a deranged carnival of freaks.

Good job.

Rick

#499384 - 05/03/07 12:49 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: Rick Norton]  
Joined: Sep 2005
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Tom Breshers Offline
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Tom Breshers  Offline
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Panama City, FL, USA
Dan,

Tiz just wonderful! Love everything about it...especially the lyrics and the great guitar dynamics!

tom

#499406 - 05/03/07 01:10 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: Dan Tindall]  
Joined: Apr 2006
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Nevergoback Offline
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Nevergoback  Offline
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saint louis, MO, USA
I love the guitar. Probably my biggest influence is Jimmy Page's acoustic work, and it sounds like you have similar influences. I suspected you actually are going to the same sources as him, rather than just stealing from him as I do. I'd love to hear who you listen to cause I'm always in the market for that sound.

The lyrics and the guitar work are great. The later verses are a little less focused on the scene, which still works ok for me.

The biggest thing I'd work on is melody and phrasing. You're singing right on top of your guitar part rather than a counter or a contrast, especially in the verse. It's always hard to do a really active guitar part and sing, but even having your vocal do some sixteenths or syncopation over the more straight eighths of the guitar would help.

Overall, I'm going to steal your guitar if you come my way. wink

Jay

#499454 - 05/03/07 02:18 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: Scott Campbell]  
Joined: Jul 2005
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Scott Campbell Offline
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Lakeland, FL, USA
Hi Dan:

Ooops...

I played the lo-fi version by mistake - sorry 'bout that....

I had no idea there was so much difference in sound quality...

Hi-fi version sounds as good as your others......which is to say great....

Scott

#499526 - 05/03/07 06:32 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: Scott Campbell]  
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Dan Tindall Offline
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Dan Tindall  Offline
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Originally Posted by Scott Campbell
Hi Dan:

Ooops...

I played the lo-fi version by mistake - sorry 'bout that....

I had no idea there was so much difference in sound quality...

Hi-fi version sounds as good as your others......which is to say great....

Scott


Hi Scott

The lo-fi version on ezFolk can be a bit rough sometimes!

Thanks for having a listen - glad you enjoyed the lyrics! smile

Dan smile

Last edited by ThirdRatePoet; 05/03/07 06:34 PM.
#499528 - 05/03/07 06:37 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: Rick Norton]  
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Dan Tindall Offline
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Dan Tindall  Offline
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Originally Posted by Rick Norton
Sounds like a song that would be sung over the video of a deranged carnival of freaks.


smile I think that might be one of the best comments I've ever read...about anything, not just one of my songs!

Dan smile

#499529 - 05/03/07 06:38 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: Tom Breshers]  
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Dan Tindall  Offline
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Originally Posted by Tom Breshers
Dan,

Tiz just wonderful! Love everything about it...especially the lyrics and the great guitar dynamics!

tom


Thanks Tom - glad you liked it - many thanks for taking a listen smile

Dan smile

#499539 - 05/03/07 06:59 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: Nevergoback]  
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Dan Tindall Offline
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Dan Tindall  Offline
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Ireland
Originally Posted by Nevergoback
I love the guitar. Probably my biggest influence is Jimmy Page's acoustic work, and it sounds like you have similar influences. I suspected you actually are going to the same sources as him, rather than just stealing from him as I do. I'd love to hear who you listen to cause I'm always in the market for that sound.

The lyrics and the guitar work are great. The later verses are a little less focused on the scene, which still works ok for me.

The biggest thing I'd work on is melody and phrasing. You're singing right on top of your guitar part rather than a counter or a contrast, especially in the verse. It's always hard to do a really active guitar part and sing, but even having your vocal do some sixteenths or syncopation over the more straight eighths of the guitar would help.

Overall, I'm going to steal your guitar if you come my way. wink

Jay


Hi Jay

I am a fan of Jimmy Page's acoustic stuff - certainly he was one of those players who led me to wonder where that sort of music comes from (I always have time for Keith Richards for the same reason). So blues and folk players (beginning with all the usual suspects really - Robert Johnson, Leadbelly, Blind Willie McTell, Doc Watson - and then just listening to whatever seemed quirky, interesting, or accomplished, and trying to glean something from it, without ever really being good enough to copy any of it!) were what I went looking for, because I liked the sound.

At the same time, I've always been a fan of traditional folk music - again because I like the sound, although I'm not much use at playing it. But stuff like the Dubliners, Planxty and the Bothy Band were (and still are) an influence in the sense that I like their style!

That sounds like a lot of great influences for my rather basic music! grin

I think you have a point about the active guitar part - I think the way I've done it is probably something I've picked up from Irish or British folk tunes. Something to consider for another time, though - thanks! smile

As for melody - if I was a better singer, I'd sing better!

cheers

Dan smile


#499953 - 05/04/07 07:51 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: Dan Tindall]  
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 140
Dan Monk Offline
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Dan Monk  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Originally Posted by ThirdRatePoet

As for melody - if I was a better singer, I'd sing better!

cheers

Dan smile


been that done there. grin

Great stuff Dan, really liked the tree allusion.

#499964 - 05/04/07 08:40 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: Dan Tindall]  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,608
Linda Sings Offline
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Posts: 5,608
Scorpio
Hi Dan! This is great stuff! Love the guitar work too.
I also listened to the lo-fi by accident first--whoops! Hi-fi is much better... ahh.

Lyrically... there is a lot of neat stuff going on here. My thoughts: I WANTED to hear the "Softly goes the coffee" stanza as a repeating chorus. (sniffle!)

If it was my song (and I know, it's not...) I would drop the last verse/stanza and replace it with the "softly goes the coffee" again to tie it all back together and close out with the coffee house imagery again.

There isn't anything *wrong* with the last stanza, either... I just like all the other stuff going on so much better. smile

You're a very, very good lyric writer, IMHO. I look forward to seeing your name on the board!

Linda



#500286 - 05/05/07 06:39 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: Dan Monk]  
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 508
Dan Tindall Offline
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Dan Tindall  Offline
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Ireland
Originally Posted by Dan Monk
Originally Posted by ThirdRatePoet

As for melody - if I was a better singer, I'd sing better!

cheers

Dan smile


been that done there. grin

Great stuff Dan, really liked the tree allusion.


smile thanks Dan!


#500287 - 05/05/07 06:44 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: Linda Sings]  
Joined: Nov 2005
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Dan Tindall Offline
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Dan Tindall  Offline
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Ireland
Originally Posted by Linda P. Adams
Hi Dan! This is great stuff! Love the guitar work too.
I also listened to the lo-fi by accident first--whoops! Hi-fi is much better... ahh.

Lyrically... there is a lot of neat stuff going on here. My thoughts: I WANTED to hear the "Softly goes the coffee" stanza as a repeating chorus. (sniffle!)

If it was my song (and I know, it's not...) I would drop the last verse/stanza and replace it with the "softly goes the coffee" again to tie it all back together and close out with the coffee house imagery again.

There isn't anything *wrong* with the last stanza, either... I just like all the other stuff going on so much better. smile

You're a very, very good lyric writer, IMHO. I look forward to seeing your name on the board!

Linda




You're very kind smile

You're quite right, this song could be re-written in a more traditional song format. I guess I tend to write quickly, and then move on to something else. Lack of discipline has always been a failing of mine! smile

Glad you enjoyed it smile

Dan smile


#500305 - 05/05/07 07:42 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: Dan Tindall]  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,608
Linda Sings Offline
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,608
Scorpio
Discipline, schmisipline. smile What's that for?
LOL
Just don't be afraid to revise revise revise. You can save an original copy if you go too far astray and ruin it. tongue

See you around!
Linda


#500467 - 05/06/07 10:07 AM Re: Coffee House [Re: Linda Sings]  
Joined: May 2007
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ThinMan Offline
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ThinMan  Offline
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3
Newcastle UK
Yo Danny Boy

This one is a winner - judging by the length of the forum

Well - you know I'm gonna like it - I do - but I particularly like the bit before "rightly superstitious............."

You need more gigs in Newcastle

Robby


My heart is beating without a sound
#500551 - 05/06/07 02:57 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: Linda Sings]  
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Dan Tindall Offline
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Dan Tindall  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2005
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Ireland
Originally Posted by Linda P. Adams
Discipline, schmisipline. smile What's that for?


smile Absolutely!

Dan smile

#500553 - 05/06/07 03:02 PM Re: Coffee House [Re: ThinMan]  
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Dan Tindall Offline
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Dan Tindall  Offline
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Originally Posted by ThinMan
Yo Danny Boy

This one is a winner - judging by the length of the forum

Well - you know I'm gonna like it - I do - but I particularly like the bit before "rightly superstitious............."

You need more gigs in Newcastle

Robby


Hi Robby

I guess it is a song of two halves! smile

I think you might be right about Newcastle....

Dan smile


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